[SIZE="2"]Yes, I “came out” to someone and learned to regret it, but I made the most of the situation and nowadays I get a chuckle out of it. It was a lesson about how people think about crossdressing, so I wound up getting a good “platform” for future discussion on this site…Originally Posted by Tiara
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I told two friends, one male and one female. The male is nw confined in a mental institution and the female moved to the midwest. I don't think outing myself to them had much of an influence.
My only regret is that I do not have the courage to come out to more people.
I have not regretted letting the people who I have told know about myself. But I have also not told people who I think would have a negative reaction to this part of myself.
Countess in exile
Keep Calm and Dance to Morrissey
Z and the Universe
I'm also on Twitter and Facebook
"If they are truly your friends, family, or, lovers, they'll be fine with what you do. If they aren't really those things, you're better off finding that out sooner rather than later."
Yes, last Friday.
[SIZE=3]Stacye Rose[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Cleverly disguised as a normal contributing member of society[/SIZE]
I'm not very out so I can't say for sure that I regret who I've told, so far, that is. I always imagine that wrong statement or comment that will give me grief but so far, so good.
[SIZE="3"]Brandi[/SIZE]
Love life and find happiness where you can.
Lorileah,
Do you find that, of all that you tell, do the questions come from the women, and the indifference from the men? [they love you , but don't talk about it]
or do you find the men in your life also asking serious questions as to the why's etc.???
I only regret that I thought those people were my friends.
my best man made a face and said off comments when I had black nail polish (10 years ago during my "black" phase). I doubt he'd be very happy about shme
I came out to my wife after 30 yrs of marriage. this was a mistake it hurt her badly I regrete it she lashed out at me in mainy ways turning my daughters against me we are still married but live apart in separate parts of our home our life changed for the worse from that day foward Missy
I really didnt have to tell anyone they already knew but the ones that didnt know are very supportive.
told my sister that is it so far.
Amanda
While it didn't always go as planned, I would have to say that I have no regrets. To regret any of those decisions, would mean that I was staying in the closet and hiding myself from people.
If you can't honest with people then what kind of relationship do you really have with them?
Michelle
Nah, no regrets. The friends I've lost over it weren't really friends.
I've only told 2 poeple -- therapist and my wife. I regret not telling my wife before we got married.
I told my wife, and I believe she told her sister, who is a gossip machine. but I don't have the impression that this one went too far.
Anyway, about regrets, no; although that made life difficult (hellish) for both of us for a while, it forced us toward greater knowledge of each other.
Conflict is a necessity, without it there is no growth. so I grew and I know she does too.
Sonia
"shme"? LOL. I never heard that term b4. It's so cute!... ... ... about shme
Very astute observation Sonia. I’ve been thinking along these lines lately and concluded that it is better to be involved, to interact, to have a presence, be an active “player” and let come what may vs. someone who is uninvolved, hidden, not taking any risks, a passive observer keeping it “safe”. This is the approach I’m taking now. To DO rather than just plan on doing “when the times right”. I have learned that when it comes to my personal life and those with whom I have or want to have a close connection, I have to be brave and play the cards I’m holding now. Just effin do it, go for it, win or lose. I got soooo bored being soooo careful bout everything. At some point life becomes joyless for all the missed opportunity.
I don't want to spend my time over analyzing. As in sports so in life; it’s a game of “inches” (no pun intended). When it comes to a personal relationship there can be a million things going on in the other persons life that you don't know about and can't control. Things that affect how she see's you, to your advantage or disadvantage. Human behavior is unpredictable and fluid. It’s all in the timing, the tude, past experience, the current context... who knows what all else going on that shapes her opinion of you. And given the fact that people change, whatever the outcome now could be the exact opposite in a day, month or a year! I've seen it happen and have been that way myself. So one should never despair. All i know is... I cannot micromanage my life when it comes to its most important aspect; the person(s) with whom I am emotionally connected. There is always some risk.
For those whose transgendered identity is constant and strong, whether driven by psycholigic or biologic imperative, there is no choice and you might as well be honest with your gg-gf or wife. It's only fair and what's the point hiding? Why live in such misery? I am very much a girl in many respects, and in other ways a guy, well equipped. If I met the right woman, one strong enough to bring out the man in me, I don't think I'd be as I am... And I think I'd be really happy then too. I just haven't yet met a gg-girl hotter than me, no disrespect. LOL. But if I do... hell yeah I'm gone! Because like... damn! What she's GOT is what I WANT 'cause there aint no look nor feel, no smell nor taste that tops that thing a real womans got! My imagination's running hot so I better stop!
Last edited by Annaliese2010; 02-18-2010 at 10:33 PM. Reason: add text to clarify
Defind friends! What I do is none of anyone's business and as for the kids...if they don't like what I do, they know where the door is. And if you don't like who I am, for sure don't come asking for money!!
The headlights blinded me!
I've taken a page from the intelligence community and my crossdressing is on a need to know, right to know basis. So far the only one who meets those levels is my wife and I'm very glad she knows.
Oh, I forgot. I told someone on this site and I put up a photograph or two. You all have the right to know about me.
And the people in my Tri-Ess group. They have both the need and right to know because of the need for trust in the group.
But no one in the family or friends category. Is that odd?
Last edited by Sarah Doepner; 02-18-2010 at 08:25 PM. Reason: added information
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
No I don't think thats odd at all, I think it's very common..
A number of years ago, I told a GF about Linda. She seemed OK with it. She promised she wouldn't tell anyone, but she lied. She told one of her GF's who inturn spread it around.
I didn't talk to her for almost 3 years and I still haven't forgot.
Here's the kicker, she ended up marrying my landlord and now lives upstairs from me.
About a year ago she asked me about it. She started the conversation by saying she had never told my secret to anyone and that I could trust her. I responded by calling her a liar and told her that her girlfriend had confronted me (years ago).
She hasn't brought up the subject since, but I'm wondering if I should.
Anyone had a similar experience?
So Linda, when your GF told someone who told someone and now you don't talk to her. did someone (number 3 or more someone in this case) do something that caused you discomfort? Why are you holding this grudge for so long? Is it just the fact she didn't keep your secret? I don't see where the regret comes in here.
Benjamin Franklin once said that the only way two people can keep a secret is if one of them is dead. You should just assume that when you tell someone they will tell someone else
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
My regrets run in the other direction. I wish I had been honest with myself and my folks when they caught me as a child.
Other than a lack of enthusiasm from my wife, I have had no bad reaction from the family and friends I have told.
I dont regret it but it was definitely a shock when I saw my girlfriend react the way she reacted when I told her, like if she had tasted sour mayonaisse... (it's all good now
My real name is Randy.. you can call me Randy Lisa
Although I needed to do it in almost every instance, I have at least partially regretted telling the women I've told because I know it has changed the prior balance in some way, even women I've told that I wasn't in a relationship with. Something about messing with their perceptions of me as a male changing after I tell them. I would prefer that it was something that they would be appreciative of or happy to hear. But I always felt like it was for the better so that not only could they know the real me but they could turn tail and run if they needed to!
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