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Thread: beware of twilight, no not the movie

  1. #26
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    If someone found out about me and face me with that knowledge, I would deal with it, but if I found out they keyed my car or any of the other things they have done I would show my manhood. I am more fem than male but I like my male side and it can get mad. We Irish are known for only two things fighting and making babies. I'm pretty good at both. Sorry girls I wouldn't be able to keep it inside me.
    Put a little lipstick on you'll feel better

  2. #27
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    taking action? EEEK nooo!

    Well, taking action sounds like the right thing to do... unfortunately I'd have to be totally out to do this.
    The thing is, my co-workers THINK they know me, they have never actually seen me do anything so they do not KNOW for certain if it is the case. Up until this came about, I was quite popular and respected at work. Sadly, that has changed for me. Quite a few people talk in whispers with the all-knowing look. Some even are bold enough to harass me with lewd comments, simply for their own amusement. I hate it.
    It's likely that eventually this will blow up in my face. I have to think of myself as a rock in a glass house, and prepare for the inevitable. My little house will shatter, but I will prevail. I'm not that fragile since years of enduring this blatant harassment has eventually hardened me and in a strange way has prepared me for this big fall to come.

    GOD it feel soooo good to be able to tell someone about this. People have no idea what this saga has done to me emotionally over the years. Literally a wreck, with panic attacks, anxiety, you name it. I amost broke down into tears when I discovered the piece of knife blade stuck in my tire. It was one that could have only come from my workplace, as it had a specific shape for a specific function.
    I have been waiting eagerly for responses from this site about this issue. I'm shaking as I type this... Jeeze, what a sap....

    Ginger

  3. #28
    Member Bootsiegalore's Avatar
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    I think this thread is a fabrication.

    Sexual harrassment at work as a result of Hippa violation.... I'd sue the F*!k out of everyone involved.

  4. #29
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    fabrication? I wish...

    This really happened. I wish it didn't. Disbelieve it if you want, it really doesn't matter to me. HIPPA laws, hippocratic oath, are just words and rules enforced by people. People are stupid, they like dirt and the dirtier the better. I'm sure the doctor who preformed the colonoscopy didn't say anything, no coincidence that the first person at work to hint he knew has a wife who is a nurse... Fabrication? whatever! Lawsuit? sure I have one but what is alot of money when I have no dignity, no friends, or family!!! I'll take my chances and hope it never come up!

    Ginger

  5. #30
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tonya Stolenski View Post
    i would consult with the chief of medicine at your hospital, like you said, there are rules to that line of work.. even if you have already been outed make a wrong into a right and say something about it,,, doesn't matter what you said, they should not have repeated it...
    Lawsuit was my immediate thought upon reading this. Whoever did so had no right, and broke the HIPPA? laws. I'm not one to sue, but someone needs the law explained to them.

    Gen

  6. #31
    Rocker :)
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    It really is a shame how unaccepted cross dressers can be.

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bootsiegalore View Post
    I think this thread is a fabrication.

    Sexual harrassment at work as a result of Hippa violation.... I'd sue the F*!k out of everyone involved.
    You aren't the only one who thinks this thread is a fabrication. It reads more like a work of fiction designed to evoke a reaction, than someone really talking about what they have really been through. Those acts that were described were blatant (and very actionable) cases of hospital data mismanagement, defamation, and out right hate crimes! I'm hard pressed to believe that anyone going through those things would just lie there and take it.

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member VanessaVW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xcindyx View Post
    It really is a shame how unaccepted cross dressers can be.
    And we've done absolutely nothing wrong......

  9. #34
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    ok, sounds inplausible but...

    It sounds fake, sure. Whatever, I do a tell all, and pour my stupid heart out to everyone and nobody believes me. With all the crap that happens in this world today why is it so hard to believe that there are mean spirited people out there? I just read that someone was burning a corss on an interracial couple in Nova Scotia. Still in this day and age?
    I know the source of the info. The nurse even called me up for a date. ( I foolishly gave her my number prior to the procedure, well what can I say she was attractive and I was single) She never actually told me what I said during the procedure, but she alluded to me saying something most women would run away screaming from. Shortly thereafter she jokingly asked if I wanted to try on her bra.... So deep in the closet am I that I played dumb and I never called her again.
    This is Canada, not the US where lawsuits are commonplace. I know nothing of HIPPA laws that everyone keeps talking of. Hell, I didn't even know how to spell Hippocratic until I read I mispelled it in the other replies.
    Maybe other people would have made a quick trip to their attourney. I'm not that person. I am terrified of being outed. I still cling to the idea that nobody really knows for sure if I am a CD'r. If confronted I'll emphatically deny it. Why cant anyone understand that?

    Ginger

  10. #35
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    nothing worng!

    Quote Originally Posted by VanessaVW View Post
    And we've done absolutely nothing wrong......
    I absolutely agree. I'm not hurting anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone. It never even crosses my mind. I'm compelled by deep inner feelings to express myself in a feminine way. Just for a short while. Who does it hurt? I certainly don't deserve the derision and humility I've been forced to endure for this activity. It's my business and nobody elses.

    Ginger

  11. #36
    Member Amanda Stubbs's Avatar
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    If after "a while a go" and it is still playing on your mind, maybe your not ready to out yourself? If you go to court you have no choice but to, have you tried just bluffing it out and making light of it? Or maybe it's just time move to a new job or even a new town? Good luck anyway and I totally agree it should never of happened in the first place.

  12. #37
    Very shy Lynnda1951's Avatar
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    Which way to go?

    Being hesitant to file a lawsuit it not a bad thing. There should be statue of limitations on most offenses. That could buy you time to think about your decision. Maybe it will blow over. We all hope it will. It seems to me the damage is already done. A successful settlement in a lawsuit can net you a lot of money but what good will that do you other than living in comfort for a while. You can't buy back a true friend because you do need to. Of the friends you can buy back .... well, I have enough enemies. I don't need anymore.

    I am a registered nurse as well. A lady in my church needed a D and C procedure which required my cleansing a certain private area after she was asleep and before the procedure. She new she was my patient before she went to sleep because we were required to meet our patients before rolling them into the operating room suite. I did my job and never discussed it with anyone not even my family. It's too bad we need laws to enforce to regulate ethical and moral behavior.

    If it were me, I would find out what my options are. By being informed you will be ready to action if and when needed. You haven't wasted your time if nothing calls for action. Erring on the side of caution is always best.

    I am not a stranger to this situation. It wasn't easy but I survived it all. I'll be thinking about you.

  13. #38
    Silver Member AmandaM's Avatar
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    In the U.S. it would be hard to tie these events from relatives at work to relatives at the hospital. But, from what I understand, the laws in Canada allow you more ability to investigate this sort of link. You are the victim of hate crimes. You can possibly get an investigation started. Check with an attorney or your local Constable.

  14. #39
    Joanie sterling12's Avatar
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    Oh gosh Ginger, what you get around here are a lot of OPINIONS! We aren't telling you what to do, although it may sound that way. Ultimately, it's your choice! A lot of us are in The Medical Trades, and we are appalled by The Behavior exhibited by our colleagues in this situation. Perhaps The Only way we can see to "Right a Wrong," is through litigation. You have "other" concerns.

    For what it's worth, your amplified explanations of this incident lead me to believe that you have been "outed." But The only "proof" is that you might have expressed some feminine desires while under sedation. I haven't checked with people who work in "Procto," but I'll bet that is not unusual! It still is not "proof" that you have ever done anything! (Although of course you have, but it's not anyone's business but your own.)

    You think about it! You decide if it's worth pursuing. If these people have done wrong, it will become your choice to do something or not. We offered you some pretty sound advise. IF, they continue to make your life miserable, you'll have an option to start over, in a different job, in a different town...IF, you have received compensation. We can't undo a Moral Outrage, all we can do is advise you about how you might "pick up The Pieces," and move on with your life.

    By the way, I thought your story was genuine from the beginning. If I was talking to a lay-person outside The Medical Field, the way you described things would be just about perfect.

    Peace and Love, Joanie
    Last edited by sterling12; 02-26-2010 at 09:53 PM.

  15. #40
    Member girlalex's Avatar
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    I agree with you Jody.

  16. #41
    eluuzion eluuzion's Avatar
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    I am a consultant in the personal safety/asset protection business.

    You are obviously on the fence about pursuing legal recourse.

    But at a minimum, I would engage measures to protect your property (auto) while you are thinking the legal issues through. There is no reason to live with anyone threatening you or damaging your property. You have many affordable options that you can implement immediately to remove all of those issues. Video technology, alarms, and event recorders are really inexpensive these days and easy to install yourself. Once you have video evidence to present to one of those malfeasants, you have the power to control the entire game. (without any threat of being "outed").

    Go online or visit a "security" store and you will discover lots of easy options to change the direction of your entire issue.

    just a thought,

    good luck
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  17. #42
    Junior Member Marcie4you's Avatar
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    I just had to take the HIPPA test for work, and you're absolutely CORRECT! They can be fired AND prosecuted!

  18. #43
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    As part of my job, quite often I'll be in attendance during an endoscopy, which uses 'twilight sedation'. Usually the patients are sleeping or say nothing. It's quite rare that anyone says anything.

    But I was in one (and i was quite new to the job at the time) and thought I was mis-hearing things, but the patient was speaking pretty clearly and seemed quite coherant.

    He asked the doctor if he could remove a few inches from his penis as it was so large. The doctor just said, 'yes, no problem'. But the patient carried on and on about how it was too big and it would be better if he could loose a little of it.

    The nurses looked pretty straight faced ( I guess they've heard it all before).

    I used to worry if I ever had an endoscopy, that I might say something about my TGness - especially as all of the nurses and doctors know me through my job. Now it doesn't matter as there's nothing they don't know already about me. In any case I have never heard a nurse ever saying anything about what was said during such a procedure.

    Last edited by Suzy Harrison; 02-27-2010 at 05:37 AM.

  19. #44
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    Thank-you...

    There have been many replies that have been encouraging and helpful. I appreciate that. The events I have described (harrassment) have died down a bit since the last big layoff at work. I believe the ones that were vandalizing my car are no longer with the company, because the last thing to happen was the slashed tire and that was 2 years ago. Parking under a security camera has also been a dererrant.
    I must admit though, not everyone has abandoned me. I feel as though almost everyone's attitude has changed towards me but it's not all bad. Some of the guys I work with have adopted somewhat of a "fatherly" attitude towards me. Treating me as if I were fragile or a child. There are those that seem to know but not care either way.
    The most damaging day I had was when a good friend of mine had a joke sticker unwittingly stuck to his back that said "weirdo lover". People seen it and snickered as they looked at me, and shortly after that this good friend never really talked to me anymore.
    I've never thought of mysself as a bad guy. Yeah I have this big secret and all, but I cannot be totally honest with people. It bugs me because I find no honor in secrets. IT bugs me that my wife doesn't know. Sure I've dropped hints alluding th the fact that I may like this kind of thing but she, well, wouldn't understand and would be crushed by the "betrayal". I fear her knowing would do more harm than good.
    I have two llittle ones to consider as well. I love them dearly and would be destroyed if they were to be taken away. It's been my experience that that is what happens. I knew someone who was a CD'r and was open about it and he was pretty much exiled before his son was born. I don't think his 14 year old son even knows his name. His family talks in whispers about him. I can't let that happen to me. I enjoy dressing, but I have to control it and not let it take a front seat in my life. I have come to grips about it, this site has actually helped. I don't feel so alone or like I'm a monster. I don't feel like "damaged goods" like I used to. Seeing how others deal with their dressing has enlightened me. There are so many similarities its uncanny.
    Sorry, I digress. What the hell does this have to do with this thread? I just have 40 years of things to say so I've crammed it all in this thread about twilight. For those that still thing this is fake, trust me it isn't. I have nothing to gain by deceiveing anyone. I'm sneaking around the house on my laptop at ungodly hours just so I can tell my story. Shaking as I type as the words hit home like never before.
    Here are some things I've learned...
    1 Twilight makes you talk. Tell your doctor about what you might say prior to it's usage.
    2 People can be mean spririted a******s, even so-called friends.
    3 Alot of people will try to bring you down and demean you to make themselves look better to others.
    3 There are no such thing as secrets. Somehow someone will know.
    4 People for the most part are united in how they feel about gender issues. They may accept you, but never understand you, or even like you for it.
    5 I've said too much, and I'm sorry


    Ginger

  20. #45
    Member Ashley S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri52 View Post
    If someone found out about me and face me with that knowledge, I would deal with it, but if I found out they keyed my car or any of the other things they have done I would show my manhood. I am more fem than male but I like my male side and it can get mad. We Irish are known for only two things fighting and making babies. I'm pretty good at both. Sorry girls I wouldn't be able to keep it inside me.
    I'm right with you on that one. I'm more male than female, however, and my Irish temper wouldn't let that pass lightly. I come from an area where not every conflict can be solved with words...Some people just need their asses kicked.

    I realize that an office setting is different from the construction setting I work in, but I just wouldn't be able to hold it in either.
    We're here for a good time, not a long time.
    So have a good time. The sun can't shine everyday.

  21. #46
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Patient privacy is a sorry joke. Physicians routinely discuss their patients private sexual matters in public, often by name, hospital and office staff read the charts and talk about the patients and laugh at their 'peculiarities' all the time. Don't for a minute think what you tell them is staying private. All you can hope for is that no one you know will ever come into contact with them. Sure, the law states it's a crime to make your private information known to anyone 'outside the office' or to anyone who isn't 'directly involved with your health care', but that only limits it, to, oh, every single doctor, nurse, nursing assistant, transporter, secretary, doctor who reads your xrays, ekg's, consulting physicians and all of their nursing, billing and secretarial staff, lab tests, the lab technicians, billing workers, computer workers, pretty much everyone in the whole building and every building that anyone works in that has any contact with your files. Sure, it's unethical. So is telling any person 'I'll call you' when you have no intention of doing so. The total number of persons that is able to keep a secret? One.
    My only recommendation if you are going to have any procedure where you will have any kind of anesthetic would be to go to a hospital at least several counties away. And if you work in the health care industry, word will eventually spread anyway.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  22. #47
    Member LisaElizabeth's Avatar
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    OK, couple things to consider here as Ginger said.
    FIRST, She is in CANADA!!!! The USA HIPAA laws have absolutely no effect on her what-so-ever! She has to look and see what laws were in effect AT THE TIME OF THE STUPID PEOPLE's ACTIONS.
    SECOND, ginger, you were under an anesthetic. People say and do really weird things when under the influence of those medications. Anyone has a problem, just ask what they said when they were under the influence of a drug!
    THIRD, 10 years is a lo-o-o-o-n-g time for people to keep doing things to you. Most 'bully's attention span isn't that long!! Are you certain you aren't doing something at work that constantly reminds them to make your life miserable?
    Just a few thoughts that ran through my mind....
    Lisa E


    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Patient privacy is a sorry joke. Physicians routinely discuss their patients private sexual matters in public, often by name, hospital and office staff read the charts and talk about the patients and laugh at their 'peculiarities' all the time. Don't for a minute think what you tell them is staying private. All you can hope for is that no one you know will ever come into contact with them. Sure, the law states it's a crime to make your private information known to anyone 'outside the office' or to anyone who isn't 'directly involved with your health care', but that only limits it, to, oh, every single doctor, nurse, nursing assistant, transporter, secretary, doctor who reads your xrays, ekg's, consulting physicians and all of their nursing, billing and secretarial staff, lab tests, the lab technicians, billing workers, computer workers, pretty much everyone in the whole building and every building that anyone works in that has any contact with your files. Sure, it's unethical. So is telling any person 'I'll call you' when you have no intention of doing so. The total number of persons that is able to keep a secret? One.
    My only recommendation if you are going to have any procedure where you will have any kind of anesthetic would be to go to a hospital at least several counties away. And if you work in the health care industry, word will eventually spread anyway.

    LEXI,
    It is a shame you paint the entire healthcare industry with such a pessimistic brush.
    I am a Physician. I deal with patients every day and my staff doesn;t look through charts just for giggles! I also DO NOT discuss, patients sexual or other habits in public places!! I didn't do that BEFORE HIPAA became law and I certainly do not do it now.
    You would be surprised how few people actually get to see your chart in a hospital setting or even in your Physician's office.
    Nurse, Doctor and MAYBE the front office/ filing clerk. That is max in our office. Billing only needs the codes and those are on a seperate piece of paper, until entered into the computer. No need to see the file!!
    Charts have always been kept away from the public, cleaning staff would be fired if they ever looked at a chart.
    Even before all this 'privacy' stuff, I took confidentiality VERY seriously. I know all my colleagues do too.
    Lexi, I am sorry if you had an experience that caused you to have this low opinion of the medical profession, but we aqre NOT a bunch of gossip mongers. the vast majority do try to keep your information as private as possible.
    Dr Lisa Elizabeth
    Last edited by Daintre; 02-27-2010 at 11:45 AM. Reason: merged posts, please use the edit button, consecutive posting is not allowed

  23. #48
    Member BillieJoe's Avatar
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    A few years ago I had major surgery. I don't know if I said anything in surgery or the recovery room. I do know that while I was in my room one of my nurses continually made cracks about my 'gown' and that I should be more discrete so nobody sees my 'panties'. She also made plenty of other references to me being transgendered. I'm deeply in the closet and wouldn't dream of telling ANYONE about this side of me. 'Coincidence'?

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by LisaElizabeth View Post
    OK, couple things to consider here as Ginger said.
    FIRST, She is in CANADA!!!! The USA HIPAA laws have absolutely no effect on her what-so-ever! She has to look and see what laws were in effect AT THE TIME OF THE STUPID PEOPLE's ACTIONS.
    SECOND, ginger, you were under an anesthetic. People say and do really weird things when under the influence of those medications. Anyone has a problem, just ask what they said when they were under the influence of a drug!
    THIRD, 10 years is a lo-o-o-o-n-g time for people to keep doing things to you. Most 'bully's attention span isn't that long!! Are you certain you aren't doing something at work that constantly reminds them to make your life miserable?
    Just a few thoughts that ran through my mind....
    Lisa E





    LEXI,
    It is a shame you paint the entire healthcare industry with such a pessimistic brush.
    I am a Physician. I deal with patients every day and my staff doesn;t look through charts just for giggles! I also DO NOT discuss, patients sexual or other habits in public places!! I didn't do that BEFORE HIPAA became law and I certainly do not do it now.
    You would be surprised how few people actually get to see your chart in a hospital setting or even in your Physician's office.
    Nurse, Doctor and MAYBE the front office/ filing clerk. That is max in our office. Billing only needs the codes and those are on a seperate piece of paper, until entered into the computer. No need to see the file!!
    Charts have always been kept away from the public, cleaning staff would be fired if they ever looked at a chart.
    Even before all this 'privacy' stuff, I took confidentiality VERY seriously. I know all my colleagues do too.
    Lexi, I am sorry if you had an experience that caused you to have this low opinion of the medical profession, but we aqre NOT a bunch of gossip mongers. the vast majority do try to keep your information as private as possible.
    Dr Lisa Elizabeth
    Yes 10 years is a long time. The procedure occurred 10 years ago, but the rumors started about 5 or 6 years ago. As for the attention span of bullies, sure it's short, but in a factory environment there really isn't much else to gossip about so the same old rumors keep turning. I hear about people that aren't even there anymore all the time.
    As far as I know there really isn't anything I do externally that reminds them. I'm just naturally thin, not particularly effeminate. I walk normal, talk normal, and I've never worn anything outside the home (halloween 15 years ago doesn't count). I do underdress from time to time, but nothing they could ever see. I stay away from bras for that reason.

    Thanks,

    Ginger

  25. #50
    eluuzion eluuzion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GingerLeigh View Post
    .
    ************************************************** ************************
    "I have two llittle ones to consider as well. I love them dearly and would be destroyed if they were to be taken away. It's been my experience that that is what happens."
    ************************************************** ***************
    Not in my world. When it comes to a legal battle, particularly with children involved, there are no winners or losers. It is all about damage control with the children. When your children are involved, you must enter the battle with an "even playing field" attitude, and back it up with action. Kids need both a mother and a father...period. It is your responsibility to make sure they have your half of the puzzle.

    Fortunately I did not have CD issues to wrestle with in my divorce proceedings, but it was definately anybody's worst nightmare. A golddigger with a powerful attorney is a dangerous combination to dual on a Pro se basis. But you can and I did survive. Her attorney was listening to my terms that her paralegal was jotting down, the day before the Court date. I have shared custody and I am still a better "mom", because I love my kid.

    Of course I was bankrupt after it was over, but hey, I have been there before...the kids matter.


    The office shenanigans will probably taper off as soon as those mental giants find a new whipping post. The most effective strategy for mentally challenged low esteemers is no reaction at all. They get bored easily.

    It gets better eventually. Giving in or giving up...in my opinion...is never an option when you have kids.


    ************************************************** ******
    Here are some things I've learned...
    1 Twilight makes you talk. Tell your doctor about what you might say prior to it's usage.
    2 People can be mean spririted a******s, even so-called friends.
    3 Alot of people will try to bring you down and demean you to make themselves look better to others.
    3 There are no such thing as secrets. Somehow someone will know.
    4 People for the most part are united in how they feel about gender issues. They may accept you, but never understand you, or even like you for it.
    5 I've said too much, and I'm sorry

    Ginger
    ************************************************** *******
    #1 Cannot believe I've never heard of it. Must be the one drug I missed in high school. Sounds like Moon Flowers lol

    #2,3,3,4 Welcome to the human race. All I can add is I feel there is no such thing as a coincidence and privacy in any area is a ship that already sailed, beginning 6 weeks prior to Bush Admin moving in Whitewash er, ah, the WhiteHouse.

    #5 Shame on you for having emotions. Bad Human, Bad Human! lol Hey, don't beat yourself up, there are plenty of people out there willing to do that for you. Don't help them. Believe in yourself.

    Good luck...you are stronger than you think.
    Last edited by eluuzion; 02-28-2010 at 08:19 AM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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