I am a straight male and I deffinetly agree with you. i really wish i had the confidence to go out dressed up like you do
I am a straight male and I deffinetly agree with you. i really wish i had the confidence to go out dressed up like you do
By dressing up, it makes me look on the outside as I feel on the inside.
I am a lifelong CD from early childhood who started wearing mommie's stockings and lipstick as far back as I remember. And I did this because it was what I felt I should be doing.
Since transitioning is not a possible thing for me, I continue to dress for those reason's.
Hello Koka!
A good bit of insight. I too used to get a sexual high out of dressing, but now feel only female when dressed. I think the female part has crossed over however an I'm now a blended individual all the time. It makes for some strange moments, but it is just me. All the stops come out when dressed and out and about though. I've asked why I do this for years, still no real reason except that I can't stop.
Charlie
A wife of a close & best friend of mine made an innocuoulsy simple quote on facebook yesterday :"mani-pedi does a girl good!"
It's saying things like that that makes me wish I was a girl. I like doing things like that too. There's no sexual motivation for it. I just like it.
a wonderful thread..
this is something I am struggling with. I am gender counseling to work this out right now.. and in a round about way it has been one of the many questions I have asked, one that has been a corner stone to understanding why I dress and why my femininity gets pulled back and forth.
I feel so sexy dressed .. a real hip sexy young woman, curves in the right places, breast in place, (just found the right bra size!) perfect fitting clothes, heals .. these clothes just fit me better and just feel right on.
I want to take on the world like this.. it makes my 'fractured'( I understand this point mentioned in one of the responses) confidence feel, united .. its the natural me.
This is a way to access a more sexual confident person becasue my confidence really imporves dressed, as its a more authentic version of me- more fitting with my inner personality -but there is a different wiring from my balls to my brain that runs in the piping of my body that pulls me out of this femininity when I want to orgasm have sexual evening as or indeed the minute I get aroused and hard... at this moment Im transported into the realm of the guy I am extrenally?! .. the testosterone takes over a pushes a switch in my brain .. lust, rampant, fast ejaculation surounded by a much harder edge takes over... Jekyll and Hide?!
Being dressed also makes me feel more calm, serene, sexy in a more complete way, my natural feminine side that has always been held back and blocked by society because of the negative response I have had about being 'camp' as a guy has always upset me so I try to hide it all the time -dressing though opens the door for my natural responses and interests to just be . Un-ihibated from the masculine costume I have had build up to cover these attrabutes that dont fit in a male body or presentation I have to offer up in the real world.
But I don't get 'aroused' by dressing? - I do though definalty feel a true sense of sexuality in myself turn on .. a more 'global' sense of being sexy - and this Im told is actually the way women feel - I have asked many about this and the response was a real education. They feel total body arousal and sensuality - and maybe this has to be learnt for us genetic males to fulfill of our feminine sides more? - when you still have your testosterone over-riding and surging in you? I agree and believe that dressing - from the sound of everyones responses - is the gateway to experiencing these feelings and emotions.
Im trying to learn all over again how to feel sexual 'aroused' dressed ..it's hard to stay with the effeminate girly soft vibes - with the hormones of a guy - but dressed I want to now learn how to attract sexual attention and then allow a new feeling of senuality to be there instead of the fast testorone ejaculation - trying to introduce a feeling of sexual sensualtiy and intimacy in this experience .... my fear is that I will miss these 'male urges' if i transition .. (another post i feel) .. but somethin has to give in order to find more harmony in all this personally.
Hormones are everything to do with to this I feel .. attraction to female in us and feeling the sexiness of tha female with a mans wiring and urges wow!- they are two very opposite worlds all in one body .... Im gald to hear for some of you that a real good balance has been struck and brings joy and pleasure .. for me it so confusing!!! well for me maybe it's time for estrogen???
hi koka,
i find for me i didnt have a male role model it was my sister. i was fairly young and she would think nothing of being semi dressed around me. we were very close and at some point i wanted to emulate her and found this very exciting. she was the only person who would pay any attention to me. i watched her get dressed and put on makeup. the first porn i ever read was about crossdressers and was in a basement in nyc. it excited me terribly.
I’ve lived and grown through several phases of CD spanning more than 60 years.
Before puberty was a time for exploration and discovery. I learned I could feel pretty wearing girl’s and women’s clothing - - lingerie, dresses and skirts, shoes and hose. The special feeling of lingerie and stockings also grew on me, but the underlying drive was that I could feel pretty in a manner transcending anything possible in boy mode. Looking in the mirror or looking down at the shoes on my feet, the sensation can be summed up in two words. THAT’S ME!
I had the need to look and feel pretty, to be able to proudly say “that’s me!”
Into my teen years and over the following four decades when en femme, the underlying male in me would at times become sexually aroused by my femme veneer.
Twenty years later I no longer get or need sexual arousal from dressing. I still hunger for the special feeling of lingerie, dresses, hose and heels. I absolutely need to feel pretty.
I sleep in nighties that let me sweetly drift off, then awaken to that special feeling “that’s me!”
I do my housework in housedresses with feminine detailing that says “that’s me!”
When I can dress on weekends or in the evening I’ll select a dress, or a skirt with a blouse, shell or sweater; then shoes - - - all to suit my need of the moment to feel pretty. As it all comes together, I know I’ve got it right when I look into that mirror, and the image practically shouts back - - THAT’S ME!
Daisy
Koka-
You've hit the nail on the head, at least as it applies to me. I used to get aroused by CDing up until recently. And what happened recently was that I finally came to accept this part of my life and acknowledged and embraced the feminine part inside of me. Since then, I no longer CD for sexual release, but for relaxation and that sense of completeness I only get when I am Melanie. If anything, I shrink away from the thought of my female self arousing my male self, especially if I then feel the need to satisfy those urges. That feels too much like empowerment of my male side to take pleasure from my female side. If anything, CDing is the opportunity I take to let my female self take over and suppress my male self. Does that make any sense?
As Melanie, I like to relax and do things that I enjoy for myself like reading, painting or just watching a movie- chic flicks are so much more enjoyable when you are not inhibited by cultural standards around men and their feelings. Immersing myself in the feminine aspects of my life have become so much more important than letting my male urges find release from the physical transformation into a female exterior.
Melanie
DittoOriginally Posted by Frédérique
From all the reserch I've done, I think this is how most CD's start. We get aroused by dressing or even seeing ourselvs dressed. As time goes on this starts to change. That change depends on the situation you are in. Single and living alone, single and living with someone that cares or dose'nt care, or married (and like most married CD's) to a woman that does not agree with such a thing as CD'ing. The one commen thing to all CD'ers that I've found is that we just like wear women's clothing and do not want to be thought of any different than the guy that does not like wearing them. Hope this makes sence.
[SIZE="3"]Life is a live performance not a dress rehearsal. So no take back.[/SIZE]
I agree with the ideal of peace and freedom but for me crossdressing is a comfort and a substitute for that elusive satisfying relationship with a partner. I sometimes feel it is also a personal desire for men's fashion freedom and an attempt to break down dressing to gender stereotypes. I find many traits about women desirable and perhaps some of my behavior could be considered as "feminine" but I am happy as a man and I have been hurt by women and fear more of the same. My fetish of wearing women's clothes protects me from further pain and tends to repel women. It fills in the gap from not having a good relationship with a woman and gives me a taste of their world.
Ooooh me too! I have that same bondage fetish, which is so intense when I dress.
When I was younger, I had fantasy after fantasy where someone (usually, a woman) would put permanent makeup on me that couldn't ever be removed.
In terms of the bondage fantasy, I believe the woman inside me is trying to keep me where I really want to be, and own up to it, while the testosterone driven male side is fighting to make me run and put the clothes and makeup away before someone notices.
Meghan
"No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."
~Turkish Proverb
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