Do you need to dress or do you just wan't to

**ellenwannabe** · 03-15-2010, 09:52 AM

both here also - love it and feel I have to as often as I can - Ellen

**suzy1** · 03-15-2010, 11:13 AM

How interesting that the vast majority of us are saying the same thing, want to and need to. I stopped for several years because of life events. But the need never left me. Now I am free to dress whenever I want and it has become a very important part of my life. Never been so happy and contented.

**docrobbysherry** · 03-15-2010, 11:40 AM

Why do we have the desire to dress as women?

Is there a heaven?

Will Sarah run for president?

Is there intelligent life on other planets?

Why does the chicken cross the road?

**Cassandra Lynn** · 03-15-2010, 11:49 AM

Seen a few comparisons to addiction in the responses which would make the hair on my body stand up.....if i had any. LOL. As a person in recovery though, it brings up some interesting questions cause there are some parallels. I'm not qualified medically and wouldn't want to start down that road, but i will say this: Substance addiction is a disease, not in the way cancer is, but like bulimia and anorexia and other disorders it does qualify.
The thing to note that is very important though is even though we have our fair share of problems associated with CDing, we most all can say that it has also made us happier and complete when we came to accept ourselves. Peoples experiences with drugs and alcohol never do that.

mj

just a little thought i needed to share, i hope i didn't offend anyone.

**maggiecdva** · 03-15-2010, 11:57 AM

For me like many of you it's a bit of both.

During times of stress it swings more toward the need to dress to help reduce the stress.

Other times I just want to feel my fem self and how good it maks me feel.

Hugs - maggie

**Ashley Allen** · 03-15-2010, 12:00 PM

Do I "need" to dress? Is it an addiction? My SO thinks it's and addiction... goes along with the sickness attitude.

First of all we are talking about clothes, here.
Second we are talking about how we want to represent ourselves.

I'm not doing anything that every female in the world does every single day. I may not be female but I really don't care what our stupid societal rules claim to be right for which gender.

Maybe it comes from a deep desire in me to rebel, but if so it also comes from a deep feeling inside to be free to be me.

If this is something about pretending to be someone else, which I can totally relate to as, I have felt that way, than maybe it's an addictive behavior, after all everything is addictive even watching TV or sports....

I can't answer for everyone else, but since I ahve been dressing up again and am semi out in the open aout it.... I am starting to realize it is a sense of freedom to be who I want to be, and I don't have to be careful to not act to femeine, like when I am in man mode... and that's why I dress.... although freedom it may be this bra is feeling a bit binding this morning.... lol not really just thought it was funny to say. Keep Smiling

**Janet K.** · 03-15-2010, 12:07 PM

I think that it is both for me. I need to dress in clothes to assimilate in public, yet I want to dress in clothes that are representative of the female gender. I am more comfortable and feel more "me" dressed en femme.

**Christina Horton** · 03-15-2010, 02:29 PM

For me it's not really a need or want ...it's who I am. I look at it this way. I don't need to eat , but if I want to live then I need to and I like food so I like to eat food. I don't need to wear any clothes but I want to so I don't scare anyone. It's the fact that I have to be true to myself and be myself to be trully happy. I don't have to be happy to live but I want to and like to be happy. To not be happy is very depressing ya know. Just my

worth.

**Cassandra Lynn** · 03-15-2010, 03:42 PM

Originally Posted by Ashley Allen

Do I "need" to dress? Is it an addiction? My SO thinks it's and addiction... goes along with the sickness attitude.

That's very unfortunate Ashley, and i wish she could see what goes on in the real world of addictions i spoke of, and the true sickness of the addictive personality, as it would be educational for her.

Maybe it comes from a deep desire in me to rebel, but if so it also comes from a deep feeling inside to be free to be me.

My fighting to stuff my gender feelings was an issue that kept me in my sick thinking for many years and it was while in a treatment facility that i came to the realisation that freedom to be all that i am was beneficial for me. mj->

<-Cassie

**countrygirl** · 03-15-2010, 10:41 PM

Depends on my mood, sometime I want to sometimes I need to bring Amanda out. Just depends...

**Jenniferpl** · 03-16-2010, 01:45 AM

My need to leads to want to.

**MarieTS** · 03-16-2010, 01:54 AM

This is sort of like asking Do you really need to breathe or do you just want to?

Michelle-Leigh's post put it quite well.

**Pattie O** · 03-16-2010, 01:55 AM

"Can't always get what I want but in the end I get what I need........."

**Heidi_slave** · 03-17-2010, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by MsMjSerene

Seen a few comparisons to addiction in the responses which would make the hair on my body stand up.....if i had any. LOL. As a person in recovery though, it brings up some interesting questions cause there are some parallels. I'm not qualified medically and wouldn't want to start down that road, but i will say this: Substance addiction is a disease, not in the way cancer is, but like bulimia and anorexia and other disorders it does qualify.

I respect what MsMjSerene wrote. I sort of started these references to addiction in this thread, and I don't want to be dismissive of the experiences of people who have struggled with addiction. I don't have much experience with addiction, but I know it's a real problem. By contrast, wearing panties is NOT a problem, even though it can complicate your life somewhat.

My point is that sometimes The Urge appears irresistable; an experience that makes it even more erotic and intense. If I dressed merely because I wanted to, then it would be, um, fun. Often I dress because I'm in the thrall of an almost hypnotic pink force-field that has my mind and body under a spell. Even calling it a "need" doesn't quite do justice to the experience.

FWIW,

Heidi

**Mary Jane** · 03-17-2010, 08:12 AM

I do NEED to dress from time to time. Not as often as others but often enough to satisfy my needs, I guess.

**Cassandra Lynn** · 03-17-2010, 09:18 AM

Originally Posted by Heidi_slave

I respect what MsMjSerene wrote. I sort of started these references to addiction in this thread, and I don't want to be dismissive of the experiences of people who have struggled with addiction. I don't have much experience with addiction, but I know it's a real problem. By contrast, wearing panties is NOT a problem, even though it can complicate your life somewhat.

My point is that sometimes The Urge appears irresistable; an experience that makes it even more erotic and intense. If I dressed merely because I wanted to, then it would be, um, fun. Often I dress because I'm in the thrall of an almost hypnotic pink force-field that has my mind and body under a spell. Even calling it a "need" doesn't quite do justice to the experience.

FWIW,

Heidi

Thank you for your comments Heidi, and no need to clarify or worry about being disrespectful, you were, as others were just stating how the need can sometimes feel so powerful that it resembles addictive behavior. I could go on about the subject since i've had clinical experience, but it is probably not what everyone would want to see publicly. If anyone wants to chat about the subject feel free to PM me though, a part of any good recovery program is sharing openly with others so i am open for discussion. But i want to make it clear that what we do in CDing is not not a sickness, disease or addiction IMO.

mj

**diannecourtney** · 03-18-2010, 11:18 AM

A wonderful question. I want to be a girl, I need to be a women. My ex wife says that the change will be intense and I shouldn't expect to change. I do love it though.

**PatriciaT** · 03-18-2010, 12:23 PM

I need to dress. I am the real me when I am about and about en femme. I am more relaxed, and feel　more natural. I have to force myself into boy's clothing. I have to force myself out of girl's clothing.

**Sweeterica** · 03-19-2010, 08:22 AM

for me to its need to and want to,not always fully transformed but just something even if just for an hour.mmm

**girlygirl02** · 03-20-2010, 09:19 AM

want to most of the time sometimes if i havent dressed for a while the need to just gnaws at me. when i want to dress and dress i feel a tush and its very exciting and i love how i can feel like a girl and all that.

**JenniferRose** · 03-20-2010, 01:51 PM

I believe it is a bit of both for me, usally when I want to then I have to, but on occasion I get this I have to feeling

**SusieK** · 03-20-2010, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by NathalieX66

Once I realize I want to, I need to.

Another vote for this option. Suppressing the urge once it has arisen just causes it to get stronger, and starts to have a negative effect on other aspects of my life. Ironically, the reason for suppressing is generally to avoid having a negative effect on other aspects of my life. Go figure

Susie

**Samantha43** · 03-20-2010, 11:55 PM

I need to. It's not something I can go for very long without doing. The need brings the want.

**Tanya C** · 03-21-2010, 01:00 AM

I need to dress.
Therefore, I want to dress.

**countrygirl** · 03-23-2010, 11:05 AM

When Amanda shows up, It is a great stress reducer. And on occiasion, I just have to. Do not know why but I have to.

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