Really Bad At Being Closeted

[CamilleLeon]

Over the past two days, I've faced a harsh realization...I'm really bad at lying/keeping secrets. Saturday night, me and one of my oldest friends were going over to his place to hang out. I'd had an awkward coversation with my mom about my brother's drinking problem and how much I drink. I was telling my friend about it, and started with "Well, I just had an awkward conversation with my mom," to which he replies, "Let me guess, crossdressing is involved?" I almost froze up, but managed (I think) to not be obvious about it. He has made a few comments about me dressing up as Hannah Montana for Halloween, usually joking about both of us dressing up. I'd never thought about it, but I think he either knows, or is strongly suspicious and trying to say he's cool with it.

Now earlier today, my mom asked me why I shaved my hair, meaning the hair on my legs/arms, not my face. I might've told her the truth, had my older brother not been in the room at the time. I wonder how many people think I'm a crossdresser, and how many know. I'm maybe coming out to my parents on Wednesday, and then maybe to my friend this weekend. It's scary, even though I'm sure everyone will be supportive.

Anyone else bad at being in the closet?

[StaceyJane]

I went a year where I thought I was in the closet but my wife and daughters all knew but didn't tell me.

[SweetCaroline]

I was, back when I was in the closet. When I came out to my parents, their first reaction was "I knew it".

It's my observation, that if you did any sort of crossdressing as a child or teen, or any time you lived with your parents, they probably already know. Parents have a way of finding stuff like that out.

[AllThingsPretty]

The closet is a really tough place to stay hidden. My wife knew too

[Sharon michelle]

I always believed my mum knew, but we never talked about it. Cancer took her about 15 years ago. I think she would have been supportive but who can say?

[Susie Mae]

Pushing the envelope of outing yourself is such a wonderful game. Played right, it can be done as often as desired, but "one step over the line, Sweet Jesus" and your public life as a man is destroyed. Today I went to a sports bar in drab, but with panties, girdle and bra underneath. It was so good being part of the crowd, twitching like the constantly aroused sissy I am.

[Peri Bender]

I saw TONS of signals but never put 2 and 2 together. As I look back, she was staring me in the face for many years, but I could not see her due to the anger and guilt that was shown.

I wish I could have meet her MANY years ago. Lots of great times lost but TONS to be made

[RichardCD]

Best of luck southernpeach, hope all goes as you expect. As for me the closet is my sanctuary.

[SuzanneBender]

Peri hit on the key thing. Even if people know you intimately and see the signs its not that obvious. Making the leap from manly man to cross dresser in most people's mind is like jumping a canyon and as Evil Kenevil would have told you it just isn't that easy.

What you really need to decide is do you want these people to know. Its a tough decision. I am only out to my wife. However, based on that experience I would recommend that if you want to come out you let them know on your terms rather than having things spin out of control if you are outed by accident.

[jenifer m.]

im pretty sure my parents know or at lests suspect for my whole life,but they have never said a word to me about it.my wife and sister know about jenifer but thats it.

[marny]

Curious response from your friend. Are you sure he isn't one of us. Takes one to know one. . As much as we try to hide do we not all send out messages?

[CamilleLeon]

Peri hit on the key thing. Even if people know you intimately and see the signs its not that obvious. Making the leap from manly man to cross dresser in most people's mind is like jumping a canyon and as Evil Kenevil would have told you it just isn't that easy.

What you really need to decide is do you want these people to know. Its a tough decision. I am only out to my wife. However, based on that experience I would recommend that if you want to come out you let them know on your terms rather than having things spin out of control if you are outed by accident.

I do want these people to know. I think those closest to me should know fully who I am. I'm not really concerned about my image as a manly man or a crossdresser, I just think that they should know. After all, do they care more about who I am, or what I wear?

I'm pretty tired of the closet. I'm not sure if this desire to come out is based on self confidence or apathy, but I feel like they should know. I may not be ready for the whole world, but I'm working on getting ready to tell my family/oldest friend. Baby steps, I suppose.

[Jessy]

The biggest journey starts with a single step
I know too well what you feel girl. I'm tired of the closet too. The past few days, finding this community and so many supportive people was a great experience. I'm not ready for the world yet but I feel like I'm getting closer.
Anyway I wish you best of luck when you're going to discuss it. In the end you'll feel relieved for sure.

[Josie Verci]

I'm doing a lot better now that I've told one of my closest friends. Still haven't asked her for opinions or anything, and I just expressed an interest to her, but still, it feels like less of a burden now.

[Shananigans]

Curious response from your friend. Are you sure he isn't one of us. Takes one to know one. . As much as we try to hide do we not all send out messages?

I think it's unlikely; however, I think it is very likely that this friend overheard a conversation between southernpeach coming out to his brother...which in turn led to his brother also coming out to him about being a CDer himself. Crazy, right? Genetic? Haha

[CamilleLeon]

I think it's unlikely; however, I think it is very likely that this friend overheard a conversation between southernpeach coming out to his brother...which in turn led to his brother also coming out to him about being a CDer himself. Crazy, right? Genetic? Haha

My friend wasn't around though. He'd already gone to bed, in a different room. I think he's just put two and two together, or testing me. Either way, he'll know for sure eventually.

[Jessy]

If there's 1 thing I've learned, it's not to underestimate people that you think are sleeping.

You seemed confident with the fact that people would support you, and your SO definitely seems to be a great support to have on your side. That doesn't take away the fact that it's still a bit scary, but I'm sure everything will turn out just fine.

[Karen Smith]

Once the phone rang, and the caller asked to speak to my parents, and I replied "I'm their daughter", with both of them in the next room. This during a time when I wasn't even really crossdressing. I was never all that masculine though so perhaps it's different for me.

[sherri52]

I think you lost your opening with your friend. I do think it will come up again, but I also think that he will be alright with it. Take a chance and tell him

[t-girlxsophie]

Hi Hannah,just got to say your thread struck a chord with me like no other I was absolutely hopeless at keeping secret the fact I dressed up.The first time I got caught was horrendous,but no matter how hard I tried to keep my activities private after that,I always threw my own spanner in the works Mums clothes put back in wrong closet,a stocking with a tiny run in it etc my mum had a goddam sixth sense too,that something was moved.

Even now careless things like at work leaving my phone opened,which showed my pic have plagued my attempts at secrecy,though not in a negative way this time.

Hey maybe the Closet I was in,had a big arrow pointing at me saying,this guys a Crossdresser