You're in drab and you spot a sister cder, what should you do ?

[AllieSF]

I talk to everyone I meet for whatever reason, name on sweatshirt, cool shoes, cute baby. I am just a social person. However, I have to agree that I would not purposely try to talk to a fellow Tperson unless the opportunity presented itself in a very non-conspicuous way, and even then it would be a brief introductory comment about the weather, the crowded store, or just a simple hello if our eyes meet. if no further conversation follows, that is fine. I think that too many of us are scared to be just out and unless they start a conversation in a crowded area, we should all leave well enough alone.

[Jessy]

I probably would find myself hesitating too for a moment. But as said before, and as this thread proves, all people are very different. And you never know what a complete stranger will be like.
So I'd say don't give it any special attention, just be yourself, and do whatever you'd do (talking, greeting, or nothing at all) to any other person.

[Karen564]

For the record, I'm pretty comfortable with who and what I am, and you aren't going to hurt my pride any, so if you ever see me out and about, by all means say howdy!

[SIZE=2]Same here........by all means say Hi! and don't feel that I'm unapproachable..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]I think we can all agree that most of us all know who is one of our own, whether dressed up or not, so I think it's ok to approach the other, AS long as you do it without outing that person to others nearby and address her in a tactful & non-threatening way, but if she looks nervous, timid or uncomfortable in some way, it's best to go about your business & leave her be..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]The funny thing is, I was followed to my vehicle this past Sunday in the parking lot after I bought my grocery's, and was just ready to pull my stuff out of the carriage when a pretty woman came around the back where I was, and said Hello, Mame,(I just assumed she worked in the store & wanted to check my reciept....lol)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]then she apologized for following me , but explained that she saw me in the store a few times and just had to ask me something, then said with a very friendly smile, Are you by chance TS?....It took me a second to assess the situation,(because I'm thinking in my head, who wants to know...lol) but I replied back with a smile, Yes, Yes I am..and then her face really lite up in excitement and said she was too!! and lives in town here, then asked if I live in town, and I said no, but I live close by in the next town over...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So we exchanged names & both expressed it was great to meet each other, then we parted ways..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]( Then after thought to myself, OMG!!, I guess I didn't pass so well today....lol........, but then thought about how she 1st addressed me, even though I was just wearing jeans & a hoodie jacket over a casual top that I chose for my long walk in the local park at Quabbin Reservoir all day, but then remembered that we do know how to pick each other out from the crowd if we take the time to look, so I took no offense at what happened at all ..)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Later, I looked her up on Facebook & added her as a friend, then she replied back, so now were both friends & have someone to talk to in person that lives really close by..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Point of my babbling here?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]If you don't reach out to your sisters in your local area, there's no guarantee that you'll ever cross paths again or get to know someone like yourself in the neighborhood, it's a small world but still big enough to get lost in..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]It's just important to use your best judgment & manners if you do approach someone, AND you should also be presenting as female, Not in drab......but if it doesn't feel right or just bad timing, then it's best to let it go....[/SIZE]

[t-girlxsophie]

I think its best not to approach a fellow CDer,because it may be their first time out,in that case it may put them off doing it again.The fact you dont know their situation,only that they Crossdress,would in my opinion be a valid reason not to approach them.well unless the shop you see them in is trendy boutique and your fighting over the same top

[Bootsiegalore]

I was dressed one day and was filling my Corvette at the gas station and all of a sudden I hear..... "Excuse me". It was a guy in drab and said hello I am a cder too..... He lives arount the corner (2 miles) and was new to the area (from Canada) and wanted to know if there were any local groups. He gave me his card (girlie card) and I sent him some links..... He did keep chasing me to "meet up". But I thought he may be just be looking for the ol' bj if ya know what I mean! So I just kept my distance! T

[Shananigans]

I have actually had a very similar situation here. I did approach her and I began the conversation by saying "Excuse me sister, but do you happen to know if they have this item here"? What I did was emphasize the word "sister" and gave a knowing wink as I said it. That told her that I was a CD as well, although in drab at the moment. She said no she didn't think they carried that item there and went on her way. She walked by a few minutes later and handed me a note which invited me out for coffee at the little shop on the corner. We met there a little while later after we left the Home Depot and spent a couple hours chatting and having coffee.

My point is that I was able to tell her that I was a CD by calling her "sister" and she could relax knowing she was being talked to by a stranger who understood and anyone else that could have overheard us would have simply thought I was calling her sister because we went to church together or something like that.

NEVER EVER, NEVER EVER OUT THE OTHER PERSON!!!!

Kandis

So, two people on this thread have met other CDers at Home Depot? That seems like an interesting place to want to go en femme. Sorry...I just had to point that out. That just seems rather comical. Thought I'd bring some humor to a heated topic.

[Frédérique]

You're in drab and you spot a sister cder, what should you do ?

[SIZE="2"]Nothing. I would probably think about doing my own crossdressing later, but I wouldn’t enter the space of a “sister” and try to chat her up. If she’s confidently striding into Home Depot en femme, I would stay out of her way and head to the opposite corner of the store. Of course, if she’s buying naptha I might run into her, since that is my solvent of choice. Why go to a place like Home Depot (or Lowe’s) crossdressed in the first place? It seems like a pointless exercise to me – go somewhere more feminine and enjoy yourself, for crying out loud. A library would be a better place – I might approach a fellow CD’er in that type of place, speaking in hushed tones, of course. If security is called in to deal with the implied ruckus, I would offer support, outing myself in the process. It’s the least I could do…[/SIZE]

[Rachel_Red]

I think you did the right thing. I know if someone walked up to me and told me they knew that it would probably make me blush (sadly on the inside I'd have a storm of terrible emotions). As CDers we do our best to try to blend in (well I do). The best place to meet and be a group is... crossdressers.com!

Yah when we're out and about we don't want to be singled out so I think you made the right choice just leaving her be. Funny thing is what if she was a GG... that probably wouldn't have gone over well

[Marlena-4now]

The person might be a store detective, a robber or shoplifter using a disguise. Or a person paid to follow somebody (which I have done before), or a neighbor of yours, Etc, Etc...

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it". hehehe

This person was definetly one of us , absolutely no doubt in my mind. Many times you might see someone and not be all that sure, could be a large masculine woman. or a TS woman or whatever but soimetimes you can just tell... you know ? Otherwise I would never have considered bothering her.

[Marlena-4now]

In the parking lot, say NOTHING. If you both ended up in the paint section and a chance comment was made about different colors, then simply smile, speak , and above all use proper pronouns if needed.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking, just kind of casually end up in the same section, and , using the proper pronouns of course, quietly and naturally just say hi with out drawing attention.

[Marlena-4now]

But DON'T go up to a stranger and say, "Hi, I noticed that you are a crossdresser. ........That's very rude and impolite.

Lovies,
Auntie Stephenie

Stephanie, I totally agree and I would never , ever, say that to someone , especially me being in drab !

[Marlena-4now]

I have actually had a very similar situation here. I did approach her and I began the conversation by saying "Excuse me sister, but do you happen to know if they have this item here"? What I did was emphasize the word "sister" and gave a knowing wink as I said it. That told her that I was a CD as well, although in drab at the moment. She said no she didn't think they carried that item there and went on her way. She walked by a few minutes later and handed me a note which invited me out for coffee at the little shop on the corner. We met there a little while later after we left the Home Depot and spent a couple hours chatting and having coffee.

Kandis

Kandis, that is exactly the sort of thing I would hope might happen and the reason I was considering bothering this person. I mean , being a CD can get kinda lonely sometimes. Why can't we try to make a friend when the oportunity arises ?

[Jessy]

This person was definetly one of us , absolutely no doubt in my mind. Many times you might see someone and not be all that sure, could be a large masculine woman. or a TS woman or whatever but soimetimes you can just tell... you know ?

Female intuition, I guess

[TNRobin]

I think that you did exactly the right thing. Unless she was wearing something and you wanted to know where she got it or something like that then don't pay any more attention to her than you would anyone else.

I can give you a first hand example of my own, though it's a bit different. I'm in a wheelchair and I go all over the place in iit since I can't stand at all. If someone else in a wheelchair comes up to me and asks me who makes the chair or something specific about it or about how I do something like get in and out of my Jeep for example, I'm fine with that. But when someone comes up in a wheelchair and just starts chatting like I should know them then I'm a bit put off since I'm not a member of the "wheelchair club for men" or something like that. But I do find it kind of humorous when someone comes up to me and says "I have a friend in a wheelchair, maybe you know them." Despite what some people believe we're not a secret fraternity.

[Marlena-4now]

....... I don't pass. I would still rather a sister greet me. Knowing I have a sister within 40 miles would be great.

That's just the way I feel , Sherri. It's just nice to know there are more of us around than meets the eye and maybe the world is not as hostile as it usually seems to my no-doubt, paranoid perception.

[Marlena-4now]

So, two people on this thread have met other CDers at Home Depot? That seems like an interesting place to want to go en femme. Sorry...I just had to point that out. That just seems rather comical. Thought I'd bring some humor to a heated topic.

Probably the last place I would go for an en femme outing.....ya just never know.

[Marlena-4now]

[SIZE=2]Same here........by all means say Hi! and don't feel that I'm unapproachable..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]I think we can all agree that most of us all know who is one of our own, whether dressed up or not, so I think it's ok to approach the other, AS long as you do it without outing that person to others nearby and address her in a tactful & non-threatening way, but if she looks nervous, timid or uncomfortable in some way, it's best to go about your business & leave her be..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]The funny thing is, I was followed to my vehicle this past Sunday in the parking lot after I bought my grocery's, and was just ready to pull my stuff out of the carriage when a pretty woman came around the back where I was, and said Hello, Mame,(I just assumed she worked in the store & wanted to check my reciept....lol)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]then she apologized for following me , but explained that she saw me in the store a few times and just had to ask me something, then said with a very friendly smile, Are you by chance TS?....It took me a second to assess the situation,(because I'm thinking in my head, who wants to know...lol) but I replied back with a smile, Yes, Yes I am..and then her face really lite up in excitement and said she was too!! and lives in town here, then asked if I live in town, and I said no, but I live close by in the next town over...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So we exchanged names & both expressed it was great to meet each other, then we parted ways..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]( Then after thought to myself, OMG!!, I guess I didn't pass so well today....lol........, but then thought about how she 1st addressed me, even though I was just wearing jeans & a hoodie jacket over a casual top that I chose for my long walk in the local park at Quabbin Reservoir all day, but then remembered that we do know how to pick each other out from the crowd if we take the time to look, so I took no offense at what happened at all ..)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Later, I looked her up on Facebook & added her as a friend, then she replied back, so now were both friends & have someone to talk to in person that lives really close by..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Point of my babbling here?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]If you don't reach out to your sisters in your local area, there's no guarantee that you'll ever cross paths again or get to know someone like yourself in the neighborhood, it's a small world but still big enough to get lost in..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]It's just important to use your best judgment & manners if you do approach someone, AND you should also be presenting as female, Not in drab......but if it doesn't feel right or just bad timing, then it's best to let it go....[/SIZE]

Karen, that's what I wanted to do, reach out to my sister, and I didn't , and I never saw her again and I'm sure I never will....and....sigh..... but, I totally get what people are saying about not wanting to be outed and so on, and I was in drab, so there's my dilemma. Anyhow, thanks for your story and if I see you I'll most certainly say hi. And it might happen because I see you're a baystate babe like me !

[Ms. Emily]

I think I'd be pretty bummed if walking along in some shopping center thinking I'm doing a pretty good job of passing. When some guy comes up and lets me know that they are a CD too. Even giving compliments is kinda a slippery slope cause they still might not want the attention drawn to them.

It's not that I wouldn't want to meet another CD. I guess it would just really deflate my ego to have someone come and point out they read me. I've only noticed myself being read a couple times but it's kinda upsetting when it does happen. Whats worse is if that CD is at all shy or introverted you could scare them even further into the closet. They might start thinking "if he can read me anyone could". Not everyone is the social butterfly that some of you are and they deserve privacy. I say better to let sleeping dogs lie on this one.

[Miranda09]

I've experienced this just once where I spotted a sister at a mall. I wanted to go up to her and say hi, but realized that doing so would only draw attention to her, very likely unwanted attention, and might make a wonderful outing into a regretful one. Better to just appreciate their determination, their style, and confidence, and continue on with your activities. Just my 2cents worth!

[Karen564]

Karen, that's what I wanted to do, reach out to my sister, and I didn't , and I never saw her again and I'm sure I never will....and....sigh..... but, I totally get what people are saying about not wanting to be outed and so on, and I was in drab, so there's my dilemma. Anyhow, thanks for your story and if I see you I'll most certainly say hi. And it might happen because I see you're a baystate babe like me !

[SIZE=2]Hey, no problem, [/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Just so you know, if you see me when your in guy/drab mode, then all the better in my book!! Because I like being approached by guy's......a lot..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Lately, maybe sometimes I'm way too comfortable about myself & suroundings for my own good....[/SIZE]

[jenifer m.]

i think if i ran into another cd i problably would be very kind,and polite to them if i had a chance.i would treat them as i would wish to be treated.

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]"By cracky toots, you look like a sister cd, and i am a brother and sister." nyuk nyuk nyuk[/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE]

[eluuzion]

This person was definetly one of us , absolutely no doubt in my mind. Many times you might see someone and not be all that sure, could be a large masculine woman. or a TS woman or whatever but soimetimes you can just tell... you know ? Otherwise I would never have considered bothering her.

yes, I understand. I apologize for my irresistable tendency to twist the world into a cartoon distortion when I process information. I am hopeless on that one, but I always mean well, with no disrepect ever intended...

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]In the late 1980s, I was working on my car, when a cd, dressed up, who lived in a rooming house nearby, came up to me. I just said hi, nice weather to work on the car, and she left. I was not cding then.[/SIZE]

[Natalia]

[SIZE="4"]What if you are wrong and it really is a GG???[/SIZE]

I once asked a nice lady at a cocktail party when her baby was due (as her tummy protruded in a 7 mo bump)

She frostily informed me that she was NOT pregnant.

"Nice shoes", or "I love your hair" or a cheery smile. Beyond those...nope.