Working things out.

[Alice B]

After initial discussion (in depth) my wife has come to accept my dressing and need to do so. She is still not completely comfortable having me dressed around her, but at the same time is comfortable with allowing me to go out dressed on occasion. She has come to accept my being totally shaved, wearing panties, nighties, etc. and having painted toe nails. It has been a slow, but steady growth for us both. The key has been assuring her that I am still the same person she married and that I will do nothing to embarrass or compromise her. She has not and never will be a participant in my dressing, but that is OK.

[charlie]

Hello Sandra!
My wife hates the fact that I dress, but loves me. She says CD is perverted, weird and "not normal". She can't work it out because she can't accept something that strange and different to her. She also believes that God would not approve of me dressing in woman's clothes. As such, she decries what I do time and again, but knows that I dress when I go away on business.

[Joanne f]

OK i should not have put that as i can see that i have been completely misunderstood as to what i meant by that statement and it would be unfair to elaborate on it here, but i am not implying what you think .

[Stitch]

I consider myself a very open minded girl, and very accepting of my partners need to cross dress. I help him to choose outfits, I mend any wear and tear on clothing, give him honest opinions on how he looks and playfully chastise him for how he keeps his clothes. (He doesn't iron )
Anyway my partner told me on our second date and I was blown away from his honesty and the fact that it took a lot of guts to tell me. It gave me great respect for him early on. It also gave me the choice to walk away should I have wanted and put the ball completely in my court. I stayed naturally, and I see him as the partner I want to grow old with. Sitting on the sofa, wearing cardigans, comfy slippers and eating biscuits while watching comedy.

I'll probably sound very harsh at this point though. Had I found out down the line that he had been hiding things from me lying to my face, I would have walked. Even though I am open minded and accepting.
I'm not prepared to hang on to a person who decided to keep me in the dark about parts of them self and take the power of choice out of my hands. I'd rather be alone then be with someone who can hide such a large part of their life from me, when we are supposed to be a team founded on love and trust.
I don't mean to judge other peoples relationships, but I've already dated one Compulsive Liar and I refuse to do it again. When I don't trust my partner my personality tends to turn ugly. I become horrifically insecure and paranoid and I won't put my happiness behind someone else again.

[Sarah_GG]

OK i should not have put that as i can see that i have been completely misunderstood as to what i meant by that statement and it would be unfair to elaborate on it here, but i am not implying what you think .

Oh... did I miss something?

[lee in a skirt]

I told my SO as soon as we got together as I didnt want her to find out later down the line. For the first year she completely ignored it as in her words she hated it and pretended it didnt happen. Throughout that time now and again I dropped casual hints which she didnt like. Then I just said look read this and Ill never mention it again. She read it then when I was on a break at work she texted me saying when I come home were going shopping and then well take it from there. Since then its been great, theres a few rules set around the dos and the donts but nothing I cant handle and occasionsly she doesnt like it but its all good.

My advice is push her in the right direction information wise as there is a lot of information out there and most of it is not good.

[Sandra]

Well I guess I'll reply to my own question

I was told about Nigella a few months after we got married. I thought hmmm ok I can cope with this and did so by talking and asking questions. We didn't have the internet so it was just me and Nigella and her trying to explian things to me as much as she could.

We hit a bad patch which was my fault, I've posted about this on here before and if you want to read then so a search

Anyway we set some boundaries and again talked with each other, not at each other. We eventually got onto the www and this helped me more to understand.

Soooo for me I was mostly helped by sitting down and talking about what was going on and things not being rushed.

Being TG needs to be worked out together, not one pulling one way and the other pulling in the opposite direction it will never work like that....and just remember that at times some SOs aren't sure as to whether to say anything, so maybe once in a while just ask if there is anything that they would like to chat about.