For those of you that are wondering where I have been I am sitting at the desk in our sunroom nursing what I am going to diagnose as carpel tunnel syndrome after typing thousands of words of academic gibberish during the past week in order to finish one of my classes on time. I have also been joyously dedicating numerous hours to sitting on the couch with the most wonderful woman in the world working through the issues that I sprung on her just a little over a month ago. Things are going well on the home front. We have good days and bad. Moments of acceptance and moments of misunderstanding, but if I could there is no way I would every go back. The sky is blue; the grass is green, the sun is shining, my wife is the woman I fell in love with all those years ago and my smile has started to come back in all phases of my life. I think coming out has even started to cure my toenail fungus or maybe it’s just all the open toed shoes we get to wear this time of the season.
I am not typing this to wax eloquently. I wanted to share with you the best weekend of my life since I started outwardly portraying my insides. Some of you may not consider it a glamorous as sacking the sale rack at Macy’s or jetting across the skies en femme or walking on the beach letting the world see the girl within, but I do.
My perfect gal’s weekend didn’t even involve me in a dress. Ok I did wear panties, had on maybe a smidge of perfume and a bracelet, but no one noticed. The weekend started when my wife asked me to come with her to give her my opinion of a dress that she needed for a formal event that we are attending this weekend. This will be short I promise, because I need to go pack for that event. I never had so much fun in my life. For the first time I felt comfortable walking through the women’s section talking with Peri about what I thought looked good on her what styles I thought were cute. Peri selected four possibilities and had them on hold at the store. She retrieved them and went to the dressing room to try them on. Two are to die for and she looked gorgeous in both of them. Let’s just say she is going to be the belle of the ball in the red floor length off the shoulder satin dress that she bought. We were debating about which dress to buy when from deep inside me came the woman’s voice of reason. “Buy both of them!” She looked at me with a gaze of shock. I just looked back at her and said, “girl it’s what Suzanne wants and you better take advantage of it.”
Peri and I have been discussing the storage situation for my clothing. Until this past weekend Suzanne’s stuff was stored in an elaborate system of plastic footlockers that were used to mail military gear half way around the world and that have come to rest in our basement. Peri being the wonderfully practical gal she is said that it looks like I have a pretty nice wardrobe and wigs and that I needed to get my stuff out of the boxes before I ruin it. Again girls she is amazing me with the overwhelming moments of loving acceptance. Now having a Y chromosome I immediately jumped from moving a few dresses out of a box to the best way to remodel the bedroom and build a second closet. She stopped me in my tracks and suggested that we simply go buy a storage closet from Home Depot, put up in the basement and lock it up to keep the kids out. I like that solution much better. Peri and I can now spend the money that we saved on the remodel on our wardrobes!
After the mall we went to home depot, in a snowstorm in March, to by my wife’s husband a closet for his woman’s wardrobe. They couldn’t make this stuff up on television if they tried too. We wrestled this 200 lb closet onto a stock cart and checked out. I went to pull the van around to load the closet and Peri met me outside with the cart. As we were reconfiguring the seats I asked her if a stockman was coming to help us load the closet. She said the cashier said that she was going to “try” to find one. In the immortal words of Yoda, “succeed or fail, but there is no try”! I almost quipped that there was no way that two girls were going to load this thing into the van, but given the fact that this is new to all involved and we are still working on the comfort level I opted not to. Instead I did something that only Suzanne would ever do. I went and asked for help. Soon we had two young men with strong backs loading the closet as Peri and I looked on.
Skip forward to the next day. We are back at the mall. Again another wonderful suggestion from my loving wife…a mani! I must admit I felt a little awkward walking in to the manicurist with the love of my life. I went right to the station they gave me and Peri went to a station behind me. It didn’t take me long to get into full mani mode and just slip into the moment. The manicurist was working on my cuticles when she asked, “have you been wearing color”? I just looked at her smile and said, “Yes but I am not sure of the name. It OPI though.” I looked over my shoulder and Peri smiled. What a perfect moment. My manicurist finished my cuticles and then said, “You don’t want any clear polish do you?” Oh contraire dear. I almost asked for something in periwinkle but given the fact that the place had filled with every other woman in the mall I opted to just tell her yes. I looked back at my bride again and gave her a Cheshire cat smile as the young lady painted the polish on my nails. Peri just smiled. She has to be a saint to put up with me.
From there we wondered the mall under the premise of pre-shopping for track shoes for my son. But we took full advantage to look at shoes, and clothes and purses. We have made a pact that we will share purses. She gets first choice of course, but now I can purchase and use expensive purses without guilt because I will know that they are going to end up decorating the arm of the prettiest gal in our little community and girls I am not talking about me.
Our next stop really made the weekend. We went to Hallmark. Peri was out earlier in the week and had bought herself the cutest little polka dot wallet with a single initial monogram there. I saw it and started to make over it. I literally hate the women’s wallet that I carry and love the functionality of this one. Not to mention that it was soo stinking cute! We left the mall and got in the van. Peri was driving. She now knows why I like to ride in the passenger seat J. We stopped at Hallmark!
Our first stop in the store was at the CZ wedding bands. I had made a comment in passing during one of our “couch” conversations that I would love a woman wedding band that would match my male wedding band so I can wear both when out and about as Suzanne. The little devil remembered! We couldn’t find one that worked or fit but it’s the thought that counts. I noticed something else. Peri was asking me if I liked something not Suzanne. Here we were in the middle of the Hallmark less than a mile from our house and we are talking about me liking a woman’s ring! I never dreamed life could be this wonderful. To top everything off I got a black polka dot wallet with a pink monogram “B”, matching coin purse and even a matching key chain. We cleaned the store out of the wallets, coin purses and key chains. They were 75% off! Guess what every girl that we know is going to get in her Easter basket.
The highlight of the weekend came Sunday evening. It was building the closet. Projects past have demonstrated that my wife and I can last about 5 minutes attempting to assemble something like this before I lose my temper and she storms out made at me. That is no longer the case since Suzanne has moved in the house. The project was pure joy. Peri and I smiled and laughed several times during the project. Not a cross word was exchanged and we even had to backtrack on some of our work a couple of times. Nothing against the wonderful folks in whatever country from Asia this closet came from, but they need to teach them how to write directions that make sense. We were having so much fun down there that our kids decided to come down and join us in the festive occasion known as assembling the closet. Here we were five members of the Bender household (our oldest had gone back to school) assembling a closet for their hubby’s and daddy’s girly things. Again who would have every thought!
As my wife herded the children out of the basement and closed the door so I could unpack Suzanne I couldn’t help but feel it’s nice to finally be home with the ones I love.
Put a little lipstick on you'll feel better
