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Thread: New to transition and my story

  1. #1
    New Member JesseThirteen's Avatar
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    New to transition and my story

    Hello all! My name is Jesse. I'm 21 years old and I'm an art student currently studying Illustration.

    I've known for a long time that I'm not a "girl." Probably since I was able to be aware of myself. I had an older brother and I always wanted to hang out with him. I used to want to walk around without a shirt on and all of my best friends when I was little were boys. Not that this really means anything, it's just funny that I always "knew."

    I started thinking I was gay when I turned 13. I began noticing other girls. I got my first real girlfriend when I was 17, and a year later I broke up with her because I fell in love with my best friend. She (my best friend) confessed to me four days after my 19th birthday. I had just gotten my lip pierced and I was in love with life.

    A year of painfully hiding my love of her from our parents and our friends later, we moved to the capital city and she started going to school to become a veterinary technician. She said she wanted to take a break to concentrate on school, I was hurt but I understood and wanted to do everything to help her out. We never got back together. She wonders if she is straight, and if I am enough to keep her happy. Sadness.

    It was then that I started to realize what I had always known was true, I am really a guy. I had been having confusing feelings in the past, but after watching a few documentaries and reading up on it, I realized I wasn't alone. I had started to accept who I am and what that meant.

    I'm still not "out" to the people in my life other than my ex, and a few really close friends. I haven't begun transitioning other than letting my confidants know that I prefer to be referred to as "he" and I've binded a bit.

    I'm not quite sure where to go next. I would like to get into therapy but I don't know if I have the time or the resources to do it. I've researched some, and found a clinic for transexuals to get therapy nearby, but I'm not sure if I'm ready. I hope you guys can help me out and give me the courage to keep on going!

    I guess any websites or blogs or something talking about someone's transition or how to go about transitioning would be a huge help! Thanks!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Aubrey Green's Avatar
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    Welcome to the club Jesse! You will find loads of support here. Ask alot of questions, because there are many here that are going and have gone thru what you are experiencing now.
    Good luck with your journey!
    NOT your girl next door!

  3. #3
    New Member JesseThirteen's Avatar
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    Thanks Aubrey!

  4. #4
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    Hey, a new guy! Pleased to meet you, new guy.

  5. #5
    New Member JesseThirteen's Avatar
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    And it's very nice to meet you, Anne.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Felix's Avatar
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    Hi Jesse and welcome to our club its a great place to be I've been here since 2006 and I'm 15 months into my transition. You'll find loads of useful information on here and when you've posted ten posts I think you will be able to join the boys club house where you will find loads more stuff which is specific to us boys Also you will be able to join the FTM transitioning section here you will find stories about all us boys who are transitioning and all at differing stages which is really useful. Have fun there are lots of very friendly, supportive peeps here who can help you so feel free to ask xx Felix
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Me, Myself and Felix!!

  7. #7
    Quartermaster DanielMacBride's Avatar
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    Hi Jesse, welcome! Once you have 10 posts under your belt you can apply to join the FTM Transitioning section - a lot of us boys have transition journals in there where you can read about our personal experiences of transition

    Anyway, welcome aboard, I look forward to getting to know you
    [SIZE="3"]Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are. ~ Unknown[/SIZE]

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member NiCo's Avatar
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    Welcome! Hope you find what you need here!
    [SIZE="3"]-Broken out of a window in hell-[/SIZE]

  9. #9
    GypsyKaren
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    Hiya Jesse

    Welcome to the family! I can tell you that you will not find a better and more supportive bunch than the guys here, they really go out of their way to help.

    Karen

  10. #10
    New Member JesseThirteen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Felix View Post
    Have fun there are lots of very friendly, supportive peeps here who can help you so feel free to ask xx Felix
    Thanks Felix, sounds great.

    Quote Originally Posted by DanielMacBride View Post
    Anyway, welcome aboard, I look forward to getting to know you
    I hope to get to know you as well!

    Quote Originally Posted by NiCo View Post
    Welcome! Hope you find what you need here!
    Thanks NiCo!

    Quote Originally Posted by GypsyKaren View Post
    Hiya Jesse

    Welcome to the family! I can tell you that you will not find a better and more supportive bunch than the guys here, they really go out of their way to help.

    Karen
    Thanks Karen! I've already had a very warm welcome.
    Last edited by GypsyKaren; 03-30-2010 at 05:13 PM. Reason: Please use multi-quote button

  11. #11
    HerzeleidMeister metalguy639's Avatar
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    Hey Jesse, I do not come around an awful lot I'm usually pretty busy with work but we are all here to help you with what you need. there are some really good helpful web sites & places out there.
    SHUT UP AT LEAST THE BUNNIES ARE ON FIRE!!!

  12. #12
    Gentleman Thornton's Avatar
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    Well, hello there Jesse. Welcome to the forum!
    The ZP Poem
    Everytime I go to pee, I'm gonna be thinking:

    "There's this kid somewhere in PA named Ze. I wonder if Ze has to pee. Does Ze have to hold it, or can Ze let free? There is no fun with infected kidneys.
    Not everyone's body matches their psyche. Whether be sir or whether be she, everyone deserves a safe place to pee. So come on people, let people be."

    And then I'll realize I've been rhyming to myself and the guy in the urinal next to me will beat me up.

  13. #13
    Fire what fire. mistunderstood's Avatar
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    Hi ]esse. Welcome to the group. Nice to see another person from Ohio on the forum. There is a group on-line you can join call FTM Mentors. Here is the link to them-http://www.ftmmentors.org/main/index.php
    They are a small group but has people on there who are willing to help to.

  14. #14
    New Member JesseThirteen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by metalguy639 View Post
    Hey Jesse, I do not come around an awful lot I'm usually pretty busy with work but we are all here to help you with what you need. there are some really good helpful web sites & places out there.
    Nice to meet you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Thornton View Post
    Well, hello there Jesse. Welcome to the forum!
    Thanks! Nice to meet you.

    Quote Originally Posted by mistunderstood View Post
    There is a group on-line you can join call FTM Mentors. Here is the link to them-http://www.ftmmentors.org/main/index.php
    They are a small group but has people on there who are willing to help to.
    Wow sounds great! Thanks!
    Last edited by GypsyKaren; 03-30-2010 at 05:13 PM. Reason: Please use multi-quote button

  15. #15
    oysters = kneecaps Abraxas's Avatar
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    Hey Jesse-

    Welcome! Yeah like the other guys said, 10 posts gets you access to the clubhouse, where there's more in-depth transition information. Also, check Youtube for thousands of vids about transition. Several of the guys on here, including myself (although sporadically) post videos. My username is Roryftm if you wanna check me out on there, although I'm not sure how useful my vids would be. ;-)
    Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.


  16. #16
    Whew, much cooler!! KrazyKat's Avatar
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    Welcome, Jesse!! Great to read your story, looking forward to your posts!!
    [SIZE=3] KRAZYKAT [/SIZE]



    Cuddling with my spouse of 18 yrs., GypsyKaren makes me Happy!!



  17. #17
    Senior Member pamela_a's Avatar
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    I'm glad you found this place Jesse. The guys here are great (and so are the girls) and there is a wealth of information and support to be had.

    Welcome and don't be afraid to ask
    "Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self." - Wizard's Tenth Rule:
    "Life is the future, not the past." - Wizard's Seventh Rule
    "Deserve victory." - Wizard's Eighth Rule
    "Be justified in your convictions. Be completely committed. Earn what you want and need rather than waiting for others to give you what you desire."

    There is just one life for each of us: our own - Words from a fortune cookie

    Do or Do Not. There is no try - Yoda

  18. #18
    Mr. Impossible SirTrey's Avatar
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    Hi Jesse....Nice to meet you....I'm from Ohio also and in My third year of transition....Will be happy to help you any way I can....
    Ever The Opportunist
    __________________________________________
    Life Is My Biatch
    "Guns don't kill people, people kill people...and that's why I don't keep PEOPLE in My house." :SirTrey:

  19. #19
    Junior Member mylilsecret8's Avatar
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    Hi , Jesse and welcome Sir! I haven't been here long either but as many of the other guys have stated, this site is wonderful!!

  20. #20
    Leetle FtM WalT's Avatar
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    Hi fellow transman!

    Just as an FYI, most places that offer counseling or therapy services offer payment on a sliding scale for individuals who cannot normally afford their services. It's always good to ask! I highly suggest it to move forward with transitioning, because transitioning is a lengthy process and it can be as much as six months to a year from the time you start gender therapy to the time you get a letter for testosterone. Not trying to push you into doing anything, it's just a decision to think about.

  21. #21
    New Member JesseThirteen's Avatar
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    Thanks for the warm welcomes, everyone!

    Quote Originally Posted by WalT View Post
    Just as an FYI, most places that offer counseling or therapy services offer payment on a sliding scale for individuals who cannot normally afford their services. It's always good to ask! I highly suggest it to move forward with transitioning, because transitioning is a lengthy process and it can be as much as six months to a year from the time you start gender therapy to the time you get a letter for testosterone. Not trying to push you into doing anything, it's just a decision to think about.
    Wow, great to know, thanks! Also, yeah I know it takes a very long time to even get started transitioning, that's why I've decided it's time. I'm already 21, I've been waiting so long! Haha.

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