Stop the desire to be a woman

[thechic]

Has any body been able to quell the desire to be a woman

I'm in a situation at the moment the the desire to be a woman is so overwhelming and powerful and a want that is 24/7 so am now seeing a therapist went to see him for the first time on Friday,see him again on the 19th.
When i don't carry out the desire i get so depressed.
I cant seem to shut that female part of me out now ,but funny thing is i use to be able to.
I managed to be just a crossdresser in the Closet.

So my question to everybody, has any body been able to suppress this type of desire, because im married with kids and at a braking point, and only a hand full of people know about me.

[rayander01]

So far no one has been able to delete the desire. If you find a way please let us all know.Best of luck.

Rey

[Loni]

i have never heard of a way to not be who you are? other than will power, and forces that want to change you into what you are not.

if you do find this "cure" please never let me know about it.

i have no wife, no kids. due to my ex not understanding. or willing to do anything but what she did.

i am who and what i am, good, bad, other, i do not know, i just know i am....Me.

Loni

.

[Lover girl]

Why stop!!! You should express yourself. You should be what you want to be. Some people know that something about them is different from childhood. Some people discover this later in life. To supress your thoughts and or desires can leed down a dark path. I know about this personally. Be proud of what you are and live your life as you see fit. I would add that your photo is HOT!!!!!!! I don't know if this helps you or not but it could be food for thought!!! I wish you well on your journey!!!!!Lover Girl

[joandher]

If anybody does find a cure please don't be telling me as I think that we are unique as we have the best of both worlds, and I for one wouldn't swap it for the world,I enjoy myself too much

J-JAY

[AmandaM]

The only way to be sure is to dive in. And there are lots of people who thought they were transsexual, but decided they weren't half-way into transition. Many of them ruined their family lives on the way to this "self-discovery". I prefer to take the long road, and will only transition if all other aspects of my life fall into place first. This means, I can wait until the kids are out of the house. My wife probably will accept it if they are moved out. I have to wait. It's tough, but I don't want to mess up a good thing.

[jenna_woods]

just taalking for my self I have never been able to lose the desire to dress, tried 3 times now i accept it

[Joann Smith]

That desire as you put it... has had me for long as i can remember..and all my attempts to fight it failed miserably..which in turn made me feel like a total piece of crap...So my answer to it was to say the hell with it and just quit fighting against it... and start fighting for it because this desire thing .... is one tough bitch..


Joann

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't know if it goes away, but there may be ways to better manage it for periods of time. Sometimes the only way to get the feeling to go away is to feed it everything it wants and maybe satisfy the urge. The other approach is an attempt to deny or channel the energy into some other type of activity. I've done that as well and been successful, but ended up very crabby until I got a dose of girl time. This is difficult and I understand your concern as you are attempting to reconcile a strong femme desire and the need to support your family.
good luck and stay in touch.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Why stop!!! You should express yourself. You should be what you want to be. Some people know that something about them is different from childhood. Some people discover this later in life. To supress your thoughts and or desires can leed down a dark path. I know about this personally. Be proud of what you are and live your life as you see fit. I would add that your photo is HOT!!!!!!! I don't know if this helps you or not but it could be food for thought!!! I wish you well on your journey!!!!!Lover Girl

Gosh I don't know...losing your job, having your family disown you, spending $100,000 or more to achieve your goals just to name a few...

To the OP...just based on your statement, you are gonna be spending some quality time figuring things out for yourself..

I have never heard of the feeling going away..in fact, for most it gets stronger and stronger...theres no rule that says you have to transition, or even to partially transition, but those are the only ways that i'm aware of that will stop the feeling you say you have..

the faster you take it seriously the better off you will be regardless of how you handle it.."reaching the breaking point" is very common among ts women as we age and get deeper and deeper trapped in the life they thought they should lead, but never really wanted too..



Kate

[flatlander_48]

Wow. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. Major step, and a very positive one, in deciding to see a therapist. Many people find this very hard to do. It is very difficult to figure this stuff out by ourselves because it is very tough to consider our lives objectively. It would mean that we would have to shut off the B/S, background noise, coping mechanisms, etc.

I agree with the others who have said that it doesn't seem that you can extinguish the impulse if that is truly how you feel. I do think that it is possible to understand yourself better and figure out what's driving how you feel. At that point I think you can begin to make some informed decisions about your future direction. Unfortunately nothing in this life comes free. There are consequences, good and bad, for all of our actions. Sadly, the price of being true to ourselves can be quite high.

Good Luck in sorting this out very soon.

[sherri52]

We are who we are and that really can't be changed. What we feel on the inside will always be there unless some type of movement within ourselves that changes. The desires you feel will stay unless they the desire for something else overpowers the first.

[Karen564]

Has any body been able to quell the desire to be a woman

I'm in a situation at the moment the the desire to be a woman is so overwhelming and powerful and a want that is 24/7 so am now seeing a therapist went to see him for the first time on Friday,see him again on the 19th.
When i don't carry out the desire i get so depressed.
I cant seem to shut that female part of me out now ,but funny thing is i use to be able to.
I managed to be just a crossdresser in the Closet.

So my question to everybody, has any body been able to suppress this type of desire, because im married with kids and at a braking point, and only a hand full of people know about me.

[SIZE=2]I'm so sorry Hun, I wish there was a cure & I also understand your pain all too well, because I was once in the same boat your in now by also having a wife & children, in my case, my marriage did come to an end, but I'll never ever lose my children..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]I fought my female inner self with all my might all my life, but it got to the point that it reached my breaking point at a later age..Only God knows how hard I fought it...because this is not what I chose to be, and tried so hard to be a man, but it just wasn't meant to be...and dressing became less of an issue & irrelevant at a point, because what I desired went Far Far deeper than just the clothes..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]So no, there is no cure, but your on the right path by seeing a therapist..which is what I did long ago now..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]My cure if you want to call it that, was to live as a woman, and for me, it was the right path to take and no longer live with overwhelming depression anymore , and now after countless bumps along the way, I've never felt so happy in all my life as I do now!!! It sure wasn't an easy thing to do because of my children & it weighed so heavily on my heart & mind to do this to them, but I realized that there really was no other choice....and now they also realize that too..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Come on over to the TS section, and you will get some more thoughts about it there...[/SIZE]

[Soriya]

That is great that you took the step to see a therapist. I personally have not been able to remove the desire completely all though I have gone through many years of not thinking about it at all. Usually, when things are going well, especially in a relationship, it never crosses my mind and only starts to when I feel lonely. Happen a lot when I am in a relationship that is going bad. I believe this is something we all need to figure out ourselves in regard to what is a good balance for us. For me at this time, I am quite comfortable exploring it in private and with a coulpe of friends who are also in the same boat. I was just at a party where there where many good looking women and I enjoy my male side just as much as I checked them all out. Never one did I feel like I would rather be home dressing or somewhere else, but again, that is just me and each of our situations is different. We just need to find out sweet spots with this.

I like others have said, I believe we are not the ones who are 'messed up' so to speak. We all have a masculine side and a feminine side and I believe we are more aware of our feminine sides then most men. Yea, society labels us as strange but who says society is right? We live in a world of labels and where most think that difference is a threat rather then an opportunity to learn. Just take one step at a time honey and don't ignore it. Explore and keep talking with your therapist to find out who you really are. What matters first is is you are happy when you look in the mirror, and thatm you can control.

XO

Soriya

[Rachel_Red]

I stopped trying to quell it just recently when my fiance said it was ok to go 24/7. Now I try to be the best of both worlds, living out my desires and trying to be the best person I can be. No though I don't think you can just switch it off... you can suppress it but not get rid of it.

[mapletree]

I have tried and trieD to be the person who (society) thinks I ought to be and to be honest I have wondered how I could be. My longest purge has been 5 years with therapy and a loving sexy wife and still with everything ... I some how find mysrlf in a bra, panties and and a dress !!!! some days... so if you know please say how-- I will say this... alot of my life is in identifying as a feminine woman so i am not sure how i will resond --and i still really want to want to know

[Phyliss Hdson]

Wish I could say somthing different, but I dont know of anyone who has been able to just stop for good. I like most girls here was able to supress it a few times for varying lenghts of time, but it only came back stronger. At this point in time about 3 maybe 4 weeks is as long as I can go without dressing and that takes some effort.
Hugs Phyliss

[charlytuna]

Has any body been able to quell the desire to be a woman

I'm in a situation at the moment the the desire to be a woman is so overwhelming and powerful and a want that is 24/7 so am now seeing a therapist went to see him for the first time on Friday,see him again on the 19th.
When i don't carry out the desire i get so depressed.
I cant seem to shut that female part of me out now ,but funny thing is i use to be able to.
I managed to be just a crossdresser in the Closet.

So my question to everybody, has any body been able to suppress this type of desire, because im married with kids and at a braking point, and only a hand full of people know about me.

It's hard to manage a family and cding but you make the most of any miments you get. I remembering I find time when the wife take the kids out for a bit and I stayed home get dress as soon they are pack in the car. Once they went to church I stayed home to dress they came home a bit earlyier than expected made mad rush to change and put things away and forgot earing still on when my daughter ask what that on your ears? Don't get depress over not dressing enjoy the time you get now for latter you will have the time you need as an emty nester

[Cheryl T]

Has any body been able to quell the desire to be a woman

Not in the 50+ years I've been this way. And I wouldn't want to stop the feeling now if I could. Too much of me is involved and I've given up trying to discover why, I've just accepted the fact that this is who I am.

[mklinden2010]

Well, yeah, I could stop any desire to be a woman.

I could just list all the yucky things about being a GG until I don't want to think about it any more. Stopping isn't a problem. And, neither is starting right back up again....

As others have noted, it's just impossible not to be yourself. Your self has these elements in it and these are the cards you have to play with. So, play 'em already.

Seeing a "good" therapist isn't going to get you to stop; it's going to help you to manage your duties, desires, priorities, etc. so you can manage things without any one thing managing you - as in wrecking the rest of your life over it.

So live, learn, and earn your way to a happier you.

Lot's of us have done it - and we all had to work at it.

At least you don't want to be a pro basketball player... Talk about long odds!

Yours are better than that.

Good luck.

PS

No need to assume you know where you're going. Many of us are on similar trips, but we're not all going to wind up at the same exact place. Find YOUR happy place and enjoy it when you get there.

[Nicole Erin]

I have heard it said that often times TS women come to a crossroads where they pretty much need to go on with transition.

Your best thing now is to decide what to do and start transition, realise it will be a hard road but each step will help.

[Annaliese2010]

Has any body been able to quell the desire to be a woman

I'm in a situation at the moment the the desire to be a woman is so overwhelming and powerful and a want that is 24/7 so am now seeing a therapist went to see him for the first time on Friday,see him again on the 19th.
When i don't carry out the desire i get so depressed.
I cant seem to shut that female part of me out now ,but funny thing is i use to be able to.
I managed to be just a crossdresser in the Closet.

So my question to everybody, has any body been able to suppress this type of desire, because im married with kids and at a braking point, and only a hand full of people know about me.

I don't know if this applies to you, but reading your post made me think of myself vs. everybody else wrt reasons. And it came to me in a flash. The emergence and development of a feminine self isn't out of the sort of need you and others seem to feel. She is the sublimation of...something. Something that's too complicated to explain I won't even try here...but a sublimation nonetheless. It's a kind of way of dealing with a long standing outwardly felt though self-imposed way of living - that's become more and more difficult to sustain of late. So, actually becoming more feminine is a process, a solution, a doorway out, an escape, the transference of need, rage, disappointment, regret, self-doubt about self-worth, loneliness, isolation... It only worked for awhile and I can see how it would be a permanent 'solution' if I was inclined to pursue it to the hilt, but I'm not. Wish I did, really. It would make life so simple. And I'm guessing if I did indeed feel so inclined, and committed to such a lifestyle, how it would become a need more like what you now seem to feel...even though you have all that other good stuff going on! See...I don't fcing get that, really. You have everything I want. Its the absence of all that in my life that has resulted in the uprooted feeling I have and the a state of utter and complete drifting away that I can't shake. It is a horrible feeling of meaninglessness; like I am living some kind of purposeless shadow existence, which cannot be reversed no matter the level of success judged by income or the simple possession of things. It has become the reason for my flight....and the driving force to be that which I have become. I have tried SO HARD to do good, be good, do the right thing and yet...find only torment, exile and emptiness. I am, in a word, an outcast. If it wasn't for some measure of worldly success by my hard work, I wouldn't even be able to afford fake friends that sell me answers and the comfort their pretended caring brings, engendering the false belief that this nightmare isn't. So I see your pain, and raise the stakes by this, the dark depths of my life's lack of meaning, as I have just described. What say ye... Is it any wonder why we're scared? If I was a little younger, I wouldnt care: Feeling like these walls are growing stronger. But I don't know if this cage can hold me any longer. I'm not afraid of tomorrow. I'm only scared of myself. Feels like my insides are on fire. And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else...

[Angiemead12]

its always a fantasy to go all the way for me, wish it was easier but its very confusing and scary to go all the way. but i guess its self gratifying.

now I dont want it to stop but I want to know whats enough for me, how far will I go with this fairy tale!

but like many here, i love being a guy, racing cars, and i love fashion as well and being femme! why is it wrong to be in between!

[VikkiVixen7188]

I never had the desire to be a woman at all times that many cd's experience. I just like to present en femme from time to time.

[Midnight Skye]

Hey Geneva,

As the other girls have said. There is no magic pill to make it go away. But at the same time you can sometimes find some balance which doesn't involve going full time. But if you're anything like me... its not that simple. If every time you go out as a male you look at females with envy... you feel out of place in your own skin... there are so many crazy irrational feelings I have when I'm out as a male. The number one though is constantly feeling like I need to present as female... and feeling like transitioning is the only way to have a sane future. If you're feeling things like that... I'm sorry for you because the options just suck when you have a family.

Ultimately you need to talk with your wife about how you feel, about what you need. And you need to see how she feels about it. If you truly love her and you know more femininity needs to be in your life one way or another, you need to make her part of it.

One thing I strongly recommend, is go out and about doing normal things (buying groceries, going to the convince store and buying everyday basics) go to places similar to where you would normally go as a man (alternate town, or if you're in an urban area, just different stores). When you get out in these real world situations presenting as a transgendered woman you can get a good feel of how your life will change. Some get in these situations and find out its not what they expected. Others will go out like this and realize they really need to transition.

As the girls have said, you're going to be spending a lot of personal time figuring out what you need and finding the right balance for you. Just remember what ever you ultimately decide, its not the end of the world. Its just new beginnings and paths opening for you to travel.