amazing freedom

[Vanessac48]

I have been crossdressing for years, married and my wife never knew. We seperated for 18 months, and I dressed virtually every day, and accumulated quite a closet full of clothes, along with heels and makeup. We decided to try again. It was so hard after dressing every day and moving back in I had to get rid of almost everything. I needed a way to be able to dress, so maybe this is sneaky, but it has worked so well. I sat down with my wife, and explained to her I had been reading a lot about men, and the "macho" quality, and testosterone that gets in the way of female/male communication. I went on to explain that as crazy as it sounded, a man needs to be humbled, and get in touch with his feminine side, and dress as a head to toe woman for 45 days to be able to soften the ego, the macho, and become a better man. She was highly skeptical, but because we had tried councelling, and just about everything else, it never worked. I ordered a few sexy dresses, fake silicon breasts, a couple wigs, high heels, and she went out and bought me pantyhose,and all the makeup from foundation to eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, etc. I bought earrings as well. I fianlly had everything I needed, and I told her it was ok to laugh, or any reaction was acceptable. I nervously got dressed head to toe as a woman, and came out to the kitchen in heels, a dress, wig, fully feminized. She laughed so hard, and I just took a humbed look and attitude, like it was equally uncomfortable for me, but I was loving it. I also explained to her, that as humbled as I felt, I could feel the stress, and testosterone being held in check, and felt softer. To fast forward, I have now been dressed head to toe, for 18 straight days, 27 more to go to complete the 45 days. I always tell her how calm and stress free it feels, it is like a medicene for stress reduction, and she tells me she sees it! She has also told me that she has gotten used to me looking like that, and comfortable. We sit and talk for hours, and she told me our relationship is better than ever, I have become totally in tuned to her needs, and so relieved, I can dress every day. She buys me makeup, braided my hair, and this from a woman who really hated crossdressed men, I'd never think of dressing in front of her, and now she has a husband, lover, and best girlfriend all in one! I'm not sure of what will happen after the 45 days (a period used to create the habit of changing the macho into a softer person), but she already suggested that I might need to dress if I started to slip! Not sure if this would work for anyone else, but I needed to do something. I have the best marraige now! What a feeling to dress in front of your wife, and she even gave me a woman's nickname. Just had to share this.

[Staci G]

Maybe she will like Vanessa enough to keep her around permanantly. good luck I wish you the best. I wish I could dress for 45 minutes around my wife, but she would just throw a rod and tell me to get out.

[Vanessac48]

It's going to well right now, I will dress for 45 days, when I am dressed I am so considerate of her feelings, she is liking the changes.

[Sandra]

Yes it was sneaky and yet again someone has not been quite honest with their SO..What's going to happen after the 45 days? and she may think that all of this had ended, are you then going to tell her all about you cding, or come up with another story....

I just hope she doesn't find out that you have kidded her on with this, because IMHO that will cause a lot more problems and most likely set you both back.

Just be honest with her.

[AKAMichelle]

I think you should finish the explanation because 45 days is coming fast. If you don't handle it now, day 46 could be a little rough.

Sounds like you have a good chance for martial bliss. Good luck

[sissystephanie]

I have to agree with Sandra. Honesty is always the best policy. I told my dear late wife about my CD activities before we married and we had almost 50 years of happiness before cancer took her!

Do your 45 days and then tell her that you really enjoyed it and would like to continue to dress enfemme on occasion. But do not force the issue if you really love her!!

[Daintre]

I don't understand the sneakiness, after the 45 days, something is going to happen. You have the chance right now to open up and be honest with your SO. It may be bliss right now, but I can't see that continuing if you can't be up front with her.

[mklinden2010]

Forty-five days?

Ah, you'll have new tracks laid, the signs up, and the trains full before that.

It's the talk that matters. Talk to your SO peacefully for hours and hours and you could have four arms, three heads, and a tail fin. She'd love you anyway.

That's the way to do it.

[Vanessac48]

all I know is this would never be accepted any other way, and she is taking to it like a duck to water. I remind her everytime I dress, how much stress leaves me, and how the loving feeling comes back, and she said to me this was the best it has ever been between us. I already hinted about after 45 days, that she was going to miss the "girlfriend" and she said I know, maybe you can dress sometimes! I can tell, after 45 days, because things are going so well, she will want me to keep dressing, because now it is going to be an idea shared by her, not just me. She hated it for 3 days, but agreed to the trial. Now, she told me how much better it has made things, and even said she has gotten used to the new face. She actually is enjoying playing with my hair, braiding it, I can tell she will keep me dressed always now.

[suzy1]

All I can say is that’s a lovely story. I wish you all the best for the future. It sounds like all your wishes have come true.

My best wishes to you and your wonderful wife.

SUZY

[kimdl93]

If I were in your shoes I'd focus on the present and ask her if it would be OK if you continued to dress after the trial period. Be honest about the fact that you've discovered that you really like dressing as a woman, feel better about youself being able to do so with her support.

That being said, I have a sneaking suspicion that she knows you like it, and even a stronger suspicion that this isn't the first time. If she has already figured that out, then she may have already also figured out that you were manipulating her...not a good thing. She may have decided to put that aside, but you could still be facing some serious issues about dishonesty.

[Vanessac48]

Thanks for all those that chose the positive feedback route, not sure why so many have to take the negative approach, but that sadly is how the world works, lay some of your own misery on someone else, and it makes you feel better I guess. All I can say is I'm feeling good, she is feeling good, and things right now are better than ever. I thought putting this out there might help one person take the calculated risk, that is the only reason, but some want to greet this with disdain, and here we all are trying to comfort and support each other, bit I guess those words are only true in Camelot, not here.

[Penny Lope]

Hey Vanessa,

Everyone has to choose their own route to come out to their SO. As long as you have a plan and fully intend to be completely honest at the end (and you seem to), I think it's perfectly fine. With all the societal BS, some require a longer path to come to acceptance than others, and only you know what your SO requires. Perhaps equally important, you seem to understand how she feels and can empathize with her needs. I support anyone as long as the end result is complete truth. I also understand that some people are going to take a little longer to there than others. Just do what is best for you and what is best for her (and I think you are), and you can't go wrong IMO.

[Nigella]

Thanks for all those that chose the positive feedback route, not sure why so many have to take the negative approach, but that sadly is how the world works, lay some of your own misery on someone else, and it makes you feel better I guess. All I can say is I'm feeling good, she is feeling good, and things right now are better than ever. I thought putting this out there might help one person take the calculated risk, that is the only reason, but some want to greet this with disdain, and here we all are trying to comfort and support each other, bit I guess those words are only true in Camelot, not here.

The best part of this forum is that everyone has the right to say what they wish (within the rules). Not everyone will agree with what you have to say, or how you do something. Each person will take their own path using choices that they have arrived at after weighing the pros and cons.

Some will have negative feedback simply because, been there, done that, got the T shirt.

If the approach you have adopted works then thats great for you, but if you only wanted a positive feedback on your original post, then you should have asked for that.

Finally this is a support forum, and support is not always in the positive, without the negative there will not be any check and balances. Just be wary that later on in your journey you don't have your response quoted come back to bite you, or will you be giving everyone a positive feedback? This I doubt.

[Ruth]

I don't regard this reply as taking a negative approach, nor do I feel I'm about to lay some of your own misery on someone else...
It's plain from your first post that this 'trial' is a deception on your part. If at some point you feel you have achieved acceptance for your CDing nature, and you decide to tell her what went on before, you may find the whole edifice comes crashing down: alternatively you could just keep quiet about it and live the rest of your life in a lie.
I have been honest with my wife about my CDing and though we are not living the life of bliss that you describe, everything is on the table and she knows exactly what I have done and what I'm doing. I'm not telling you what you should do, but I wish you wouldn't regard a few reality checks from other forum members as 'negative behaviour'.

[Presh GG]

Does your wife believe everything you tell her ?

I doubt it... You, IMO, are setting yourself up if she doesn't already know you've lied.
You are new here but if you go back IT"S THE LIEING that kills a relationship.



Presh GG

[Jenny Gurl]

I read way more than I post here. If someone has said it I usually don't post if I have nothing valuable to add. Of all the posts I have read here, a SO reacts worse to the deception than to the dressing. If they had a chance to make a choice early in the relationship they don't feel like you "trapped them" into acceptance. If you wait many years later and spring it on them, they feel they were given no choice and are very resentful of being lied to. Regardless of how ashamed we felt, or scared we were to share this secret part of ourselves that is so misunderstood by society, our SO has every right to be angry that we lied. I will say you have a lot going for you already. Many SO take an absolute disgusted position because that is what they feel inside. Your SO is actually letting you do it without throwing a fit or threatening you. Big Plus. you may ease into it on one of these dressed heart to heart talks. You may tell her you have always been attracted to the idea of dressing since young (if this is true for you) and come clean and tell her you really are a lot happier being able to express both sides of your personality. I came out to my SO and have never been happier. I felt the same as others here, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. We now go shopping together for dresses or skirts, makeup, jewelry, etc. We even had a manicure and pedicure together. My point is you finally took a very courageous move in doing what you have done, I just don't want to see it end bad when it could be a lifelong bliss of what you are currently experiencing. Read on this sight, and learn from the successes and failures of others. Regardless of how negative some of the girls here may sound, they are really just trying to help. I wish you and your SO years of happiness on this continued journey.

[AKAMichelle]

Thanks for all those that chose the positive feedback route, not sure why so many have to take the negative approach, but that sadly is how the world works, lay some of your own misery on someone else, and it makes you feel better I guess. All I can say is I'm feeling good, she is feeling good, and things right now are better than ever. I thought putting this out there might help one person take the calculated risk, that is the only reason, but some want to greet this with disdain, and here we all are trying to comfort and support each other, bit I guess those words are only true in Camelot, not here.

We say a problem in your logic and we wanted to warn you. See we don't see how well things are going, so we only have the red flags waving wildly.


We wish you the best and hopefully you will be one of those who get to enjoy your acceptance.

[sherri52]

Vanessa at the end of the 45 days, keep dressing. Let hervbe teh one to tell you the time is up. When she does mention it try telling her that you've gotten use to dressing and feel that you should keep it going whereas your feeling good about yourself.

[Vanessac48]

Vanessa at the end of the 45 days, keep dressing. Let hervbe teh one to tell you the time is up. When she does mention it try telling her that you've gotten use to dressing and feel that you should keep it going whereas your feeling good about yourself.

That is exactly what I plan to do. She asked me who I liked better the man, or the man dressed, and I said both, it reduces stress, I feel my personality softens, when I am dressed. So I asked her who she liked better, and she said she loved my personality when I'm dressed and the changes it is making when I am not. I told her I was getting comfortable dressed, and she said she is too. I said to her it is going to be hard to stop after 45 days, because it is like taking a tranquilizer, and reduces my stress. She said then don't stop!

I should add, I'm not the typical CD. I don't have any desire to be a woman, I just love how it makes me feel when I'm dressed, and put on heels and makeup. She actually borrowed my makeup the other day. Life is better than ever, regardless of the path, we are both happier than ever, so maybe it all could of backfired, and maybe I'm lucky, but regardless, we are both in a better place.

[mklinden2010]

Reading some of these posts, it amazes me that some can read what the OP wrote and not "see" the "working out" that this couple has engaged in.... Good for them.

They were separated for 18 months and she agrees they should get back together and try again. He offers a "nudge, nudge, wink, wink" solution where they both understand that they are both trying to get something they want - on the way to getting what they want together, and they start the process of reinventing their relationship.

He offers a "this might work idea" and she suspends disbelief, understanding that he's working around an issue to address all their issues.

"Heck", both think, "If that's all it takes, this might work."

Been there, done that.

What adults work out in their private lives is up to them. She agreed to the entire ball of wax when she heard the pitch - she didn't call "Foul!" - and so far it's working out for them.

Great.

He just needs not to screw it up. Which might be hard to do since she's OK with it so far, they're talking everyday, and, both seem happy enough to be back together again.

Crossdressing is not that big a deal. Feeling awful about it, not talking about your feelings about yourself, and, hiding something that could hurt your SO, is a big deal.

Find a way to be OK - and be OK.

[Stephenie S]

Ah, yes. The perfect marriage. And all based on lies and deception. I too hope it works out for you. Good luck.

[Vanessac48]

UPDATE:

This is day 33. I have been in heels,pantyhose,a sexy black dress, long painted nails,a bra and silicone breast forms, blonde wig, mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick, as well as foundation and bronzer in all of the 33 days. probably have spent 70% of waking hours dressed, and 30% as a man. My wife confessed, for the 1st 3-4 days she was really against it, but the changes she has seen in me, and getting used to it, she is now out as we speak buying me pantyhose, and foundation, and even asked to use some of my makeup yesterday, and perfume. She told me yesterday she really loves the changes in me, I'm not acting all weird, and female, and I've become so much softer and easier to talk to, and stress free. I asked her at day 30, as kind of a review, and she said she really likes it now! I said well what happens after 45 days, when I stop? She said, and I quite, "No, please don't stop." I felt like the weight of the world was lifted right off my shoulders. I am now dressed for the rest of my life, free at last, in front of the person it means the most to me for. I'm really a very lucky person. I wish everyone the same.

[Vanessac48]

Reading some of these posts, it amazes me that some can read what the OP wrote and not "see" the "working out" that this couple has engaged in.... Good for them.

They were separated for 18 months and she agrees they should get back together and try again. He offers a "nudge, nudge, wink, wink" solution where they both understand that they are both trying to get something they want - on the way to getting what they want together, and they start the process of reinventing their relationship.

He offers a "this might work idea" and she suspends disbelief, understanding that he's working around an issue to address all their issues.

"Heck", both think, "If that's all it takes, this might work."

Been there, done that.

What adults work out in their private lives is up to them. She agreed to the entire ball of wax when she heard the pitch - she didn't call "Foul!" - and so far it's working out for them.

Great.

He just needs not to screw it up. Which might be hard to do since she's OK with it so far, they're talking everyday, and, both seem happy enough to be back together again.

Crossdressing is not that big a deal. Feeling awful about it, not talking about your feelings about yourself, and, hiding something that could hurt your SO, is a big deal.

Find a way to be OK - and be OK.

BINGO!!!! That was beautiful, and our relationship is better than ever, not just according to me, according to her.

[Vanessac48]

This is now day 47. Just wanted to update. I have been dressed about 78-80% of the time now as a head to toe woman for 47 days. My wife has really really taken to it. She even went as far to make me promise that after 45 days, I won't stop! She buys me girlie things, loves braiding my hair, painting my nails, but most importantly, loves her new found best girlfriend, and loves the fact I can put my pants on and be a more loving considerate man as well. She told me what woman wouldn't want this, a girlfriend to talk to about anything, and a kind loving considerate husband. This has definately been a life changing, marraige saving experience for us both. We have not had one issue between us in the 46 days, after usually having them several times a week. I'm probably not the typical CD. I love being dressed completely. I only dress if I can wear my long blonde wig, eye shadow, earrings, eyeliner, foundation, bronzer, bra, silicone brests, a dress, pantyhose, red painted nails and toes (my toes always match hers now) and heels. I have no desire to go out in public, or try to pass as a woman, even though I easily could when dressed. I have no desire to have sex with my wife dressed, I just love the calm, feminine feeling I get when dolled up head to toe. I love being a man, but a changed one now. I have to say we both have the best of both worlds now. She has a best friend girlie girl girlfriend, and a manly man hubby. I can keep the parts of a man that I enjoy being masculine, and destroy the rest of the testosterone based man, by dressing as a woman whenever I feel like it, guilt free, and I love the feeling of being emotionally a woman when I dress. Probably not the right scenerio for many, but a direct hit bullseye for us. This is the best thing I eve did, and hope someone else can use this to gain the confidence to do the same.