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Thread: honesty is the best policy

  1. #1
    Brenda Luv bredalee25's Avatar
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    honesty is the best policy

    At least I thought it was. When I met y exgirlfriend I told her everything about my fem side. She said get rid of everything or she'd pack up and leave.
    Being a new relationship I agreed and we lived together for five years before we broke up over another issue.
    So when I met my loving wife of going on three years now I told her nothing about Brenda. She was the one who wanted me to put on one of her bras and I hesitated at first but finally gave in to my urges. I've been dressing in front of her for over a year now and no problems with my dressing up.
    We just have the normal problems that married couples have on a daily basis.

    Anyone else have a simular experience with two different women?
    Hugs and kisses Brenda

  2. #2
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    Divorced twice and both wives were unaccepting. You got lucky, I'm happy for you
    Put a little lipstick on you'll feel better

  3. #3
    Girl incognito Staci G's Avatar
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    Got a hater

    I wish I had one like that but I found the most narrow minded woman I could find, Good for you having the sweet end of the marriage stick. I tried the honesty approach too and got the if you ever do that again I'll divorce you and tell everyone you know and the church too. SOOOOO now I hide it lie about it and everything I can do but I will not quit.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Girly Zone.
    [url]http://www.facebook.com/Staci Grace

  4. #4
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    I got the first one, thats for sure. Hopefully I will find an accepting woman soon

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member krissy's Avatar
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    got a hater too

    i have been married for 29 years she cant stand that part of me i lived with so much guilt over it .i do love her but i know this is part of me .it wont go away i wish i had met a woman who could have accepted me for who i am not what they want me to be .but i married her at first she tried she went shopping with me it was so cool.but one night her best friend helped her dress me with makeup and all, after that night she told me she never wanted to see me like that again.its been 24 years since i got to kiss a soft lipsticked lip .oh how i miss that kiss. any way i dress any time i can i have just started to get all decked out again now im getting the urge to get out of the yard more.for anyone who has an understanding s.o. just be thankful you found her there are so many of us who never do

  6. #6
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    I told my now deceased wife before we married back in 1973 or so. It was not easy. She had the normal reaction with the normal questions like asking me if I was gay, bi or wanted a sex change operation. It's hard for me to remember how many days it took for her to come to grips with it, but she did. Later she even enjoyed some elements of my dressing. that was way back before the days of easy information via this thing called the Internet. I loved her dearly and know I was loved.
    Next was my now ex-wife. When I told her before we married, she took it as if it was no big deal at all. n nearly 19 years of marriage, it never was a problem. She also enjoyed some things about my being a CD. Now divorced due to issues that have nothing to do with my dressing, I am happy to say we remain friends. I love her as a person even though the relationship as husband and wife slowly faded to where we were like brother and sister in the same house. I still blame myself for most of that....but no all of it.
    My present lady and I met on a site for those of us into alternate lifestyles. She knew from my pictures and profile that I was a CD from day one. In fact, it was part of the attraction to her. We've had our issues, but none pertained to my dressing.
    I feel very blessed to have had the love of three different women that knew, accepted and even enjoyed this side of me.
    I could not even think about hiding it from a loved one today. I wish everyone had the good fortune I have had when it comes to the women in my life past and present.

  7. #7
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    You are definitely one of the lucky ones. But that said - I 100% agree that you should tell your SO before you marry them. I have told a few women most of which accepted, but my soon to be X-wife has never accepted. In fact today we ended up in a fight about Cd'ers using the womens bathroom when dressed. Was I every sorry to comment on that one
    Michelle

  8. #8
    Chaos is a friend of mine April Renee's Avatar
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    QUOTE=bredalee25
    So when I met my loving wife of going on three years now I told her nothing about Brenda. She was the one who wanted me to put on one of her bras and I hesitated at first but finally gave in to my urges.
    .
    What lead up to her wanting you to put on one of her bras?
    .
    April
    May the lord know those that don't love us so he may turn their hearts or at least their ankle so we'll know em by their limp.
    * *
    .

    You take the urban noise with some Durbin Poison.
    Its gonna lessen your load.....
    .

  9. #9
    Sweet Southern Girl looki Alicia_lynn419's Avatar
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    I will not date someone who gives me an ultimatum... love me or leave me.... relationships are a 2 way street.... learned that the hard way.

    Glad your 2nd attempt is working out better!

  10. #10
    The avvy pic isn't me
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri52 View Post
    Divorced twice and both wives were unaccepting. You got lucky, I'm happy for you
    Ditto. Future plans? On the 4th or 5th date they either will accept Cassie or i'm in for a lonely life. mj (Cassie)

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri52 View Post
    Divorced twice and both wives were unaccepting. You got lucky, I'm happy for you
    Hate to rub salt in a wound Staci and Sheri, feel bad for you, but I've been married to a loving accepting wife for 40 years and it so happens that today we were two girlfriends out and about shopping at different craft and fabric stores for over 5 hours.Talked business with over 6 S.A.'s at various stores Had lunch in the food court in the mall and finished up with us both trying on shoes at Payless and her offering to buy me a pair. What a wonderful feeling to be a girl with a girlfriend (my wife) for half a day. It felt so good so natural... and I looked great. Some of us are lucky I guess.
    Megan

  12. #12
    Brenda Luv bredalee25's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by April Renee View Post
    QUOTE=bredalee25
    So when I met my loving wife of going on three years now I told her nothing about Brenda. She was the one who wanted me to put on one of her bras and I hesitated at first but finally gave in to my urges.
    .
    What lead up to her wanting you to put on one of her bras?
    .
    April
    April,
    Thats a really good question. Here's an answer we were sitting on the couch one day and just out of the blue she said you should put my bra on i was floored didn't know what to think but said no guys don't wear bras.
    Then after a few more times of her wanting me to wear it I did just to see her reaction it was positive so little by little I wore more and more clothes and more often.
    Like now as soon as i'm showerd after work i'm dressed til work the next day.

    I often wondered she used to be friends with my exgf maybe she told her about it and wanted to see me dressed. I asked her but she said no she never said anything.
    Hugs and kisses Brenda

  13. #13
    Samantha K Samantha Kelsey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bredalee25 View Post
    When I met y exgirlfriend I told her everything about my fem side. She said get rid of everything or she'd pack up and leave.
    Sorry Brenda but I would simply said "Well it's goodbye then girl"
    Being ruled from the start aint no good thing.
    Sam.

    .
    Samantha K
    It's so hard being me
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    [SIZE="1"]Now I shout it from the highest hill,
    Even told the golden daffodil.
    At last my hearts an open door,
    And my secret love's no secret anymore.
    [/SIZE]


    See Sams pics at;
    http://cid-b4480c99b9b4cdd9.skydrive...e.aspx?lc=1033

  14. #14
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    Oh! yeah like chalk and cheese

    My first Wife found out by accident,catching me in her clothes,though if i was honest it wouldn't have mattered she detested me dressing we suprisingly lasted 10 years,but finally split mostly thru my dressing.

    Am now married to the most understanding,loving Woman,she is an inspiration to me,we met online where my username was tvsophie,so she knew I Dressed from the start,she supports me in every way and I love her so much for that

    In my opinion I think its best to be upfront with things,it may work out or it may not,but better than being found out later in your life together
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  15. #15
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi..

    Megan Im not far behind you .

    Jos & i 62 , have been to gether 37 years , 35 married , marrage annuld so really just two women & have been for 12 years , hard in the begining, oh yes 8 years . then the 4 years just getting used to me as a woman , comments like when i was in the work shop doing joinery cabinat making & so on . Jos was still seeing me as a male , well of cause , we go out do things meet people, our friends not the, just hers & mine . & many going back 38 years .

    I know Jos did try to mould me in to how she thought i should be , did i ,ummm yes ,in some ways yet we over came that . its really a wonder we stayed to gether . there were details that shouted no way .
    Yet we have over come so many things & this me a woman . that alone should have sounded the death of our marrage long ago ,

    Jos accepts im a woman & thats who i am , we get on most of the time & have a life even if we do different things in our groups & yes does come to them at times even my friends ( women ) ask after her & for Jos to come .
    so in many ways nothing has changed yet every thing has , how can it not .
    We both have accepted that & just get on with life .

    ...noeleena...

  16. #16
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    I don't know if honesty is the best policy for everyone, but it sure has worked for me! First wife and I fought for the whole time we where married, CD'ing was only one of many problems we had. But wife number two, has been a true soul mate. She is my best friend, and showers me with love both as a man and as a female, and she spends more money on Tina than I ever would. This season she decided I needed a new spring wardrobe, and we have hit every sale in town, or any store that has plus size clothes in it. I've had to move my male clothes out of the bedroom closet, to another room to make room for all the new stuff in fact. Life is good with an understanding wife!
    And I have started wearing womens clothing full time at home, and she seems to be excepting it as just another normal day in our lives, after all she helped pick it all out, and it would be such a waste to not wear it.
    Tina B.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Tora's Avatar
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    My lovely bride of 38 years is working on it. She bought me my first long nylon nightgown. She allows panties and nightgowns. We sleep in matching Miss Elaine, or Shadowline. Back in 1970, this activity was not in open discussion. I dressed in my mothers extensive, wonderful lingerie, since pre-teens years. I thought that marrage would cure my desires. Ya all know that tune. At 60 years old, I am still deep under cover. Most of my stash is in a storage locker. Too, many dresses, skirts, tops, wigs, forms, shoes, and lingerie. Sure I wish that I would have had her sign off before. She does not want any part of expanded time with my femme side. I dress, a few times each year. My wife, our grown daughters, our grand children, and our extended family is most important. This is a part of my life, that I value, personally. Family is a priority. This is NOT a easy activity.


    Bless you all, for your heart felt concern for our sisters. The advise is priceless. No one has to go into this minefield alone. We have the map.

  18. #18
    Brenda Luv bredalee25's Avatar
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    WOW!!!!

    You sure gave me alot to read. Interesting reading at that thanks for the input it was eyeopening.

    I should've told the ex see ya but that was a time when i thought there would be nobody else who'd want to be with me much less love me.

    Then i met my soulmate and married her life couldn't be better except for if we won the lottery and all of our dreams would come true.
    Hugs and kisses Brenda

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