Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Week 1

[Di]

The GGs have some questions they'd like to ask so as to better understand the CDs. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!


1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

[Sarah811]

1. I don't really know, some years ago it was sexual, now I find it relaxing, calming and stress releiving!
2. I am afraid not! I have a wonderful wife who only has one real failing, she cannot accept another lifestyle or viewpoint other than the one she was traditionally brought up with. To tell her would end our marriage, would leave me with no where to live and possibly having to fight to see our children. It does mean I get moody and stressed out sometimes for what she sees as no real reason. If I were able to dress once in a while or even talk clothes, hair and make up with her it woule mean a lot.
3. I am attracted to my wife enough to supress my girl side for weeks or even months at a time, and I would always try to put her first. However I know I can't stop so even though I am devoted to her I could never chose her over Sarah.

[Carroll]

1) Because I like to

2) Yes, and she loves it

3) yep!

[MiraM]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I wear them for several reasons. They are comfortable for one, and I like the way they look. Also, there is a female part of myself that needs to be expressed. I believe that I am neither wholly male or female, but somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum. Wearing female clothes is a way that I can present all aspects of myself as the necessity arises, without permanent changes to my body (although if financially able to do so, I would make some changes).

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

My husband is a FtM TS, and I am fully open with him about my gender status and dressing. I was not open with my first wife, but I am not sure if that had anything to do with our divorce as she has seen me dressed since we split and has had no problem. I think the divorce was more because she was sleeping with everyone in town but me.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

My husband does it for me way more than my female side could ever hope to do.

[Lorileah]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I look good in them, I have the legs to show and I like how they feel

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Tough one. Well yes mostly I was for as long as the relationship lasted. 35 years. Totally honest? 95% of the time. All aspects were discussed at one point or another. I doubt I have ever totally honest with anyone.

Current relationship and future as far as partners, I tell everyone up front and so far, nothing is changed.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I don't think I understand this. Am I a narcissist? Absolutely. If I didn't like how I looked I wouldn't do it. Am I always in love with myself? No, I have left me on occasion and then got back together again, I work it out. But it is different than with SO's. I have strange ideas about that. I am not one to "worship" but I am one to make them a best friend and partner. Like I said I don't think I understand that question totally and if the GG's expect 100% total loyalty and a fairytale life, they are going to find failure far more than success. But if they are looking for someone to be their equal and best friend. better success. Works the other way around and maybe even more so. Any TG who expects total and complete understanding and acceptance is going to be lonely very soon.

[susiegrl19]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

It's who Iam and it makes me feel good about myself.



2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes and she supports me 100%


3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side

Yes

[joandher]

HI All

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I don't honestly know, I started 58 yrs ago, at first I thought I was some kind of freak ,as you couldn't tell anybody or you would have been put in an institute ,but then came the internet and it was all a different ball game

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

She knows and doesn't mind me under dressing, but doesn't know that I go a lot further,and it really hurts me,and makes me feel bad, but is it worth destroying 2 lives if she took it badly at our time of life

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side

I am attracted to my wife even more ,she is my partner, lover, and best friend and hopefully will be forever,


HOPE THIS HELPS

J-JAY

[wishing2bali]

1) I have always felt more comfortable, and relaxed while wearing anything feminine. It's a sense of peace for me.

2) I am not out to her. I didn't dress, nor think about it the first year and a half we were together, but the urge is stronger than ever, which makes it difficult for me, in that I can get upset easily at things that usually would not bother me. If I did tell her, she would leave me, no questions asked. I couldn't live with that decision.

3)I am much more attracted to my SO, than my girl-side. If I wasn't I would not have moved 150+ miles away from my family to be with her.

[StaceyJane]

1, I dress because I want to be a woman.

2. Mostly. She knows about Stacey but relly doesn't want to discuss it. I tell her when I go out as Stacey but she has never wanted to talk with me about the deeper female feelings I have.

3. yes, I am more attracted to her than I am my girl side.

[Deborah Jane]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I have no idea, it seems to be something I need to do and has been for quite sometime.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes, she has known from the very beginning [we met on here]

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I'm not attracted to my girl side at all!

My partner is the love of my life, she is my soul mate, my best friend and my lover.

[Phyliss]

1. In a nut shell, my therapist said “It’s a MOM thing” My mother passed away when I was 9 and not having the influence of an adult female in my life, I borrowed those clothes of hers that my Dad saved. When I got married it stopped until my wife took sick and the old feelings returned. Now that she’s passed, I’m becoming more than just a simple CD, getting kinda serious about this.

2. At first I was secretive about it but decided it was too much work hiding everything, and came clean. She wasn’t happy about it.

3. I was more attracted to her than my girl side, however that kinda changed once I let that side out of the proverbial bottle.

[Mirani]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It is all I have in my wardrobe now - and that's because I feel real now - presenting to the world as I want to. Knowing I am not a woman, but wishing I was and relating as one.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
My SO is a significant partner to my dressing. My guide, protector and encourager. She knew I was a crossdresser before we became partners (recognised me when I was out one night - we are work partners. I didn't know she had seen me . . . I didn't see her).

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

Not sure I fully understand the question . . . I am not attracted to me.

I was a part-time CD. Am now 24/7 CD, not intending to do SRS.

[dilane]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

For me it's not about the clothing per se; it's about presenting as a woman. I like to go out and about en femme, and clothing is a great help in that regard . But so is hair, makeup, deportment, voice, etc, etc ...

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes. Told her before we got married (many years ago!), after we'd been going together several months. So I did hide it at first.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

Yes.

[charlie]

Hello Di!
The main reason that I wear female clothing is that I feel relaxed, feminine, and not a pushy boss anymore. I love women and love feeling like one.

I am now open and honest with my SO. There was a long time that I did not tell her about my dressing; I was afraid that she would leave me if she found out. She hates it, but she is still here! I tell her anything she wants to know.

I love woman and adore my wife. She is more important then my feminine self. If she was to say she was leaving me if I did not stop I would try. I'm not sure that I could and remain sane, but I would try for her.

[Jessy]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

My feminine side is a strong part of me that I need to express, and I love the clothing way more than guy clothing. As a guy I feel limited and suppress parts of me that only seem to come out as a girl, without any boundries.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

I don't have a SO at the moment, but I pray that I find a SO that I can be open and honest with about everything.
Reality is a lot tougher however... I've never really had any luck with girls and I'm not so sure that if I find a SO, I have the courage to risk the whole relationship by the CDing...

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I find this an odd comparison. If I have a partner, I'd be attracted to her most. My girl-side isn't a matter of attraction, it is a part of me.

[Cor]

1. I dress because I sometimes feel far more comfortable in my female side, and because I love how I look in my female clothes.

2. I am open with my SO about it. It's a turn-off for her, though, so I still keep the actual dressing to what little private me-time I can manage.

3. Absolutely, she'll always be my #1 lady

[minalost]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I'm compeled to do so. I enjoy it. It's fun and relaxing. I like the look and the sensious feel of the clothing. But mostly because I'm compeled to do so and have been all my life.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Moslty... My wife knows about my cding but not the day to day details. I sometimes feel like a sneak, and she sometimes feels left out of part of my life. I am trying to change these things, but it's hard...

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I love my wife MORE than my crossdressing (I think this is what you are asking...). That being said I've admitted to myself that this is a part of me that won't go away. I like to think I could give it up for my wife (I did for almost 7 years...), but the compultion just gets worse the more I deny it.

Hope this wasn't "too much information."

[Ruth]

1) Because I like it.
2) Yes.
3) Question doesn't make sense.

[Jonianne]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I want to identify "with" females, even though I don't identify "as" a female. There is a deep setteled spirit inside, knowing it's OK for me -a guy!- to identify with females in some ways.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Yes, I have learned to be completly open and honest, but that came the hard way from my first marriage.

I told my wife now, Angel, as soon as she said she was interested in me, years before we married. She went to triess meetings with me to see what it was about and took me out for my first outing before we married. Honesty is so much better! Even the couple times when we hit a bumpy road concerning the CD'ing, she would say: "Well, it's not like you didn't tell me from the begining!"

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I love my wife with all my heart and always put her first before the dressing. I am more than willing to live by the boundries and groundrules we worked out and there have been plenty of times it was necessary to put the cd'ing completly on the backburner. But, she also knows my femme side is an intergal part of who I am and she has given to me more in that area than I ever dreamed of.

[sissystephanie]

DI,

1. I dress simply because I love the feel, fit, and look of nice feminine clothes. I have been doing it for over 60 years!

2. My late wife knew before we married, and totally supported me for the almost 50 years we were married!

3. I was always her man, no matter what I wore! She has been gone for 5 years now, but I still love and miss her and always will!

[bredalee25]

answer for #1
Because it feels natural to dress in womens clothes.

answer for #2
My wife knows and has no problem with me dressing as long as it's only around our home.

As for #3
My wife loves me for me not for the way I dress

[Renee_E]

Mostly I wear feminine clothes because they are comfortable and I find they fit me better than most men's clothes. Somethings are just down right cute and i love the way they look.

My wife is well aware of my desire to wear things that are not gender appropriate. Some times we even go out shopping when I am dressed in clothes that are more feminine than masculine. We both know that I would never pass as a female.

My wife is always first. I don't ever want to hurt or embarrass her with my crossdressing.

[Di]

Thank you so much ladies

About the question 3 that some did not understand I think it came from a post here in m2f section that so many seemed to say in it that they were sexually excited by their girl side and not so much their partners. It was as if they saying the wife did not measure up to their ideal woman they created.BUT all your answers seem to say the opposite and that is a relief.
Thanks everyone for your input.

[Kathi Lake]

#1 - I wear what are considered women's clothes because I like them. They're pretty in ways that men's clothes will never be - the colors, the fabrics, the cut. Also, I like the way I look in them. Do I look like a total woman? Not necessarily, but it just looks "right"

#2 - I am open and honest with my spouse as much as she wants me to be. She told me years ago, and still maintains that she doesn't want to see, doesn't want to participate, and doesn't want to know. I respect that, although often feel that I am "lying by omission" by not telling her. Odd, eh?

#3 - I am only sexually attracted to my wife. Seeing myself dressed up does not excite me - most likely because guys are visual and I am one uuuugly woman!

Kathi

[suchacutie]

1) I wear feminine clothing because that's what Tina wears. Tina is a part of my being that we (my wife and I) discovered 5 years ago. Once identified, the only way to find out who she is was to let her experiment and explore. Tina likes to be her own person and is developing everything from a voice to a personality to a sense of presentation, including clothes, shoes, makeup, hair, and accessories. She's already made mistakes with clothes and they have gone to charity. Clothes are only one part of who she is, but her sense of style is definitely maturing.

2) My wife and I discovered Tina together and we continue to experience this exploration of Tina together.

3) Not sure how to answer this as the question is actually ambiguous, but let me try. No one can replace my wife. My attraction to her is based on love and respect. There is no comparison to anyone else! Tina is a part of my existence. Tina is my wife's girlfriend. Since Tina is clearly a part of me, she is important, but there is nothing more important than my wife.