Inqiring minds want to know - Week 2

[Di]

Thank you to all that gave their time and help with our first set of questions.


Inquiring Minds Want To Know

The second set of questions our GG's would like to ask to promote better understanding. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!

Here's the link to the Week 1 questions for those of you who missed them and would like to participate: Week 1 Questions


Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

[WandaRae2009]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries? [SIZE="4"]Yes, and I try to answer truthfully, and reasure here.[/SIZE]

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?[SIZE="4"]I do express my softer feelings in male mode[/SIZE]

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?[/QUOTE][SIZE="4"]I think so. I am only turned by by women in male mode or dressed. I get turned on by a good looking woman like any other male. Maybe even more as am also envious of the clothing[/SIZE]

[Kathi Lake]

#4 - Do you really listen to your SO: Oh my gosh, yes! I "pedestal" this woman so much - though not in a creepy way. Her concerns are my concerns. It is one of the reasons why I try to keep her "in the dark" with my dressing - it is her wish. Well, that and to be careful when out and about.

#5 - Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode? That's so not me. I do express my softer feelings - empathy, nurturing, concern, sensitivity, and much more. I believe that having and expressing those feelings make me a much better father, a much better husband, and a much better man.

#6 - 6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is? Is it wrong on this board to swear? No? Good. Then my answer is Hell Yeah! Women rock! Men are smelly, dirty and hairy. Women are soft and curvy and smell wonderful (especially after they exercise - just like fresh rain. Shudder! ). Women, most certainly, "do it for me."



Kathi

[kimdl93]

Thank you to all that gave their time and help with our first set of questions.


Inquiring Minds Want To Know
The second set of questions our GG's would like to ask to promote better understanding. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!
Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

4) I really do listen and I belive that I try to be responsive and reassuring.
5) I feel I express my softer feelings equally - whether en drab or male mode. I think I'm the same person - regardless of how I'm dressed.
6) gosh - hard to know, since I've only been me, not a non-CD male. I certainly am turned on sexually by women. I will acknowledge enjoying the opportunity to live out the fantasy/illusion of being a woman when I'm making love with a woman...

[Ms. Emily]

4. Yeah I wouldn't get into the realtionship in the first place if we didn't tust each other enough to be open. I usually try and get to know the girl before I date them anyways.

5.Isn't this kinda a broad assumption about males ?? I have no problem expressing any of those emotions and I've known non-cd males who were just as able.

6. I don't know how to answer this honestly. I like girls I don't think there are varying degrees unless your bi. The clothes I prefer to wear wouldn't change that

[dilane]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

Yes, but the more direct and to the point, the better the attention

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

Hey, that's an assumptive question. The softer feelings are accessible in either mode. I'm more likely to get teary-eyed in movies than my wife, for example. I wonder if some CD's use "I'm only nice when I dress up" as an excuse ...

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

I have no idea. I have zero interest in porn, and I wasn't attracted to women until I was 16 or so, when some time bomb went off in me and I caught up in a hurry! I do look at and greatly appreciate attractive women I see in the real world, though, and I'm pretty typical in that from what I've observed.

[Jessy]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

I have no SO, but being able to communicate (both talk and listen!) is in my opinion most important in a relationship. If I have a SO and she has questions, I will try to answer. If she has worries, I'll be willing to listen. If she starts threatening me, it'll be another story.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

In my case, it's mainly because of a history of being an outsider, while having a big need of social contacts. So I tried living more to the society standards of a man, but of course that didn't work out too well. It's just not me, I'd be living a lie.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

I think so. I mean I don't know any better than being a CD, and I've never been digging too deep in other people's sexual experiences

[SuzanneBender]

4) Yes. Well I think I do. At least I try. I still have that silly Y chromosome that causes periodic deafness and loss of memory, but I am doing my best to over come it. Since coming out to her we have had numerous wonderful talks and shared our concerns and hopes for the future. I wouldn't be much of a hubby if I didn't do my best to accommodate because lord knows she is giving it her all to accomodate me.

5) I feel I do express these in male mode. Once again it is much more prevalent since coming out to the love of my life. Although I have always been that person that can't stop the tears when the sappy commercial comes on tv.

6) Yuppers. There are too many things that I love about women to list. However, I think our view of females is significantly different than non-Cding males. We look at women through a different lens. One colored with a little bit of their experience. Therefore, I find myself being much more empathic with their point of view. I will use an example of a buddy of mine at work. Last week I was able to meet a young lady that we have spoken to numerous times on the phone. When I told my co-worker that I had met this young lady his first question was, "is she hot". I found myself taking great offense at this. Not only because I am a gentlemen, but also because I did not want to objectify her anymore than I desire to be objectified when dressed.

[AKAMichelle]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

Yes - but I have never really gotten credit for this one. Since I don't end up seeing things her way = not listening

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I do feel like I can express those feelings, but everytime I do I get a very negative response from my wife. By her responses, she would be happier she thinks with one of those macho jerks.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

Completely - I have all of the feelings which every other male has. The only difference is that instead of being the typical male jerk who is only concerned about his needs, I want a connection now before anything happens. I guess that I am closer to a female thinking on this one. If there are problems in the marriage then I can't perform.

More importantly, after my divorce is finalized this summer I do want to find another woman. I want a woman to feel like she is loved and has all the appeal - nothing missing. I want that connection but I know I am not ready for a long while.

[Marshchild]

4) Doesn't apply to me as I don't have an SO (and probably never will, given what a solitary animal I am).

5) There are two possible ways for me to answer this. The first is to say that this question is also non-applicable to me since I'm more or less in male mode all the time (regardless of what I wear). The second is to say that what I wear usually has little bearing on how I behave. I can display all the traits you mentioned when I'm wearing nothing but male attire; conversely, I can be a right when I'm in female stuff!

6) Eh, probably not TBH. I find women attractive, no doubt about that, but am also something of an asexual, so am not driven absolutely mad with lust by the sight of an attractive member of the opposite sex. What feelings I do experience seem to be somewhat, I don't know, "half-baked", for want of a better way of putting it. They appear in a relatively mild form, and then quickly die away. Not to complain, however! My situation has its advantages, I've found.

Men are smelly, dirty and hairy.

Oh come on, we're not all that bad! Indeed, there've been occasions when I've seen a man who's been downright beautiful (at which point, my mind will be filled with thoughts such as "Whoa!", "I'd turn gay for that!" and "I hope he's a CDer too - with a body and face like his, it'd be a crime if he wasn't!").

[Blaire]

4) Absolutely I listen to her!

5) I'm not sure I buy into the concept of a "male mode" vs a "female mode." With 1 extremely significant exception, self-expression of the "softer side" is not a problem no matter what I'm wearing. The minor problems that I do have I can put down to too many years of self-programming in trying to be the tough-guy. Expression is not a problem - lack of experience in communicating that expression is.

6) This one is a solid "mostly". Certainly women turn me on, but typically, a purely physical or "animal" attraction isn't enough to start the lust reaction by itself.

[PretzelGirl]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

I feel I do. My wife is a fairly quiet lady. One of my rules for myself as I progressed was that I would pay particular attention to her concerns and anything she was unsure of would become a boundary. This caused me to create a few boundaries that were unneccessary, but that was better than the alternative.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I was one of those kids in school that went through a lot of hazing and bus stop fights. As a result, I tried to be the biggest conformist that I could be. So no expression here because of that. But as I have been exploring myself, there has been some change. It is hard to break life-long habits, but I feel there is some change.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

Absolutely. I am hetero, so I don't see where my feelings would be different.

[celeste26]

4) My wife is even worse at it than me in expressing her concerns. I find that I will end up questioning her to bring them out so we can talk about them.

5)I've learned over the years and I hope I've gotten better at it.

6)I usually focus on the clothes/presentation and my male reaction to a good looking woman is something that I've tried to eliminate.

[Cassandra Lynn]

4. My SOs primary concerns and worries are if her food dish is filled, and that she gets taken for walks. Listen? We are on a wavelength beyond hearing!

5. PUHLEASE, get real....are you telling me i'm not sensitive! Why i oughta!
I mean yes of course. Honestly though, that was a loaded and somewhat unfair question. Would it be fair to say that the single CD may be afraid to show a soft side to a GG in fear that he may be thought weak?

6. Yes, deffinitely, but like said before, the visual attraction goes deeper for us. It's not just the physical beauty, it's also how she is presenting it, or the whole picture i suppose.

All in good jest gang. mj (Cassie)

[Karenmarie]

4. My SO does not know about Karenmarie but I would hope and pray
that my wife would express her concerns and I hope that I would
encourage her.

5. I have a very soft side whether male or female. Of course, if I am
out fishing with the boys, well thats something different. En-femme,
I am, and LOVE to be soft and feminine.

6. Yes, way down deep there is still a "boy" who loves to look at
women, but like mentioned above theres more to it. I love to look at
the outfits, dresses, skirts, shoes, make-up and generally the entire
presentations. After all is said and done, my wife will always remain
my "most important person" in my life, and never would I go out on her.
If she knew of my CDing and excepts it, even partially, she would
be even more important to me....if thats possible.

Karenmarie

[Kerigirl2009]

#4 I like to believe that I listen to my wifes concerns about everything not just about Crossdressing which actually does not come up as much as I thought it would.

#5 I know that my wife knows I like to dress feminine but still has never seen me and the reason that she has not seen Keri live and in person is she would then see me even more different then she already does since I told her. Someday I hope to overcome this though. So when it comes to being sensitive I do not want her associating me only as being girly so I try to keep the comments suttle. However I think if I was more open eith my feelings we would actually be a bit closer then we already are.

#6 As far as sexually turned on, It is unfortunate for me as I have never had a great sex-drive. I know I look at my wife and she turns me on emotionally, I guess that is sort of girly, but that is the way it is. I find a lot of things about women very attractive. To be totally honest I really love to see the view of a nice butt on a pretty figure. So minus the sex drive I wish I have more encounters.

[Rebecca Petersen]

Thank you to all that gave their time and help with our first set of questions.


Inquiring Minds Want To Know

The second set of questions our GG's would like to ask to promote better understanding. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!

Here's the link to the Week 1 questions for those of you who missed them and would like to participate: Week 1 Questions


Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

(4)Totally a "Yes." Lucky for me she doesn't have many worries.
(5)I actually can. In fact, I'm told this is part of my "male" appeal.
(6)Obviously I can't speak for non-CD males, but my wife turns me on in a very conventional way. My femme side doesn't exist in the bedroom, and this is by choice.

[RachelPortugal]

Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her
concerns/worries?

Yes I do. I would not want the cause of her concerns to be a problem.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I don't! I can express those feelings very well in male mode. I just enjoy wearing female clothes.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

I am turned on sexually by women I find attractive (and men for that matter). I did not know that being turned on as a non-CD male was any different to a CD-male. The way that the moving parts work does not change!

Rachael

[t-girlxsophie]

#1 YES I would be treating my wife with Disrespect If I didnt listen If she ever has concerns,She has Done so much for me and I would never dismiss anything she had to say,or ask of me

#2 Honestly,I have to say I do express my feelings and emotions.Not once have i subscribed to the theory that Men Don't Cry.I think your missing something in your life,If you can't show your emotions

#3I would say yes.Of course there is only one Woman I wish to get turned on by now,In whatever mode I'm in

[MiraM]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?
My SO is fully supportive of me and has not expressed any worries/concerns. If he did, I would listen to them and give them the merit they deserve.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?
I have no problem with this. I am always told I am the perfect wife.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?
Being gay, I would have to say no.

[Deborah Jane]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

Yes I do, we talk about everything c/ding related and not c/ding related.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

In male mode I'm very much an "alpha male". Softer feelings and emotions are seen as a weakness and as such i keep them well hidden!

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

YES!!!!!
I am very much an average male with an average males wants and desires. It's just the c/ding that can make me appear differantly.

[Freddy12]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

4) Yes, I listen to my SO. She does not want to know about my CD activities, and I hide them. It just "doesn't do anything for" her.

5) I DO express my softer feelings in male mode. I just express them more often in female mode.

6) YES YES YES YES! Did I make that clear? TES. I notice women MORE now!

[Jonianne]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

Yes, very much. But, there have been times when a 2x4 would have worked better.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

As I am in male mode 98% of the time, it's my emotional side that is 98% female and I do tend to express my softer feelings while in male mode.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

I almost just said "yes" to this question, but I guess it may depend on the personality of who you are comparing to. I've been a cd all my life so I don't really know what a non-CD likes, other than what I have seen and what is portrayed. Sexually, I am very conservative in my likes and dislikes. I have never been turned on by the extremely feminine, skimpy type behaviour or cloths (overtly sexual behaviour). I have never had a desire for the strip or night club life. For me that has been a "turn off", and I know sometimes people think I am gay because of that. But it's just that my taste in what I find sexy in women is not what is portrayed as what average males want. And, from being here on this forum, I don't think being a cd has anything to do with it at all. I think it just has to do with personality.

[Shari]

Week 2
4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?
Most of the time I am wide open and willing to listen. There are still moments when I am involved with something to where it is a difficult task. However, I think I'm more open than most men.


5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?
I feel I can express myself at times in male mode, but I still find myself suppressing most of my more sensitive emotions. An ingrained response or lack of it I suppose that I'll always carry as an innate part of me.

6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?[/QUOTE]
Is the pope Catholic? Does a bear s**t in the woods? I adore women and have always been sexually attracted by the opposite sex. There isn't a pair of heels or sexy dress that's ever going to change that.

[JackieInPA]

4) Do you really listen to your SO when she tells you about her concerns/worries?

I do listen to her and i do my best to ease those worries.

5) Why do you feel you cannot express your softer feelings (empathy, nurture, sensitivity) in male mode?

I do, but only becasue i don't really give a damn what people think about it. Most of the time for a man to do so gets him labeled and gay, weak, girly, etc.



6) Are you turned on sexually by women in the same way that a non-CD male is?

No i am not...i am much more respectful. I would never poke a buddy and say "look at the tits on that one!" I find such behaviour awful.