Are we all hiding ?

[suzypier]

Hi girls, as we all know there is many crossdressers all around, but mostly are hiding very deep in the closet. Do you agree that it is very hard to find a circle of friends to go out for dinning or shopping for girlie stuffs? If you think that it’s easy to meet new friends, where do you believe it’s the best place to go to meet some?

[charlie]

Hello Suzy!
I met a large group of CDers at a local bar in Phoenix. They go there and play pool and act like a fun bunch of girls. However, many of them will only go to the bar and no where else. They won't go out to eat, shopping or the mall. They buy their stuff online and go there only. There are exceptions (a few of the girls go out and about more then I do), but it seems the rule. A couple of times though I have talked them into going to the movies or dinner with me fully dressed and they in drab.

[Eve_WA]

ME?!!? HIDE?!?!?

NOT ANYMORE!

I will go just about anywhere, and do just about anything. And those that I wont, 'he' probably wouldnt feel comfortable there either. aka redneck bars, motorcycle clubs, KKK rallies... things of that nature. But I go shopping, restaurants, just about anywhere totally dressed. I even dress in almost all ladies clothes at work, albeit mostly androgynous in style.(t shirts and jeans) Heck! Ive even gone auto parts shopping, and to hardware stores dressed. The sky didnt fall, and the earth didnt fall off its axis. Just do it!

[Mirani]

where do you believe it’s the best place to go to meet some?

Research on the net?

[Lexine]

I might be in the minority, but I love spending time with my GG friends en femme and have enough GG friends to do this with. I would like to meet CDers in my area or in the surrounding areas, but it seems that my interests put me in a minority in a minority demographic (i.e. I don't go clubbing, bar hopping, dancing en femme, but love other girly stuff like shopping, watching movies, dining, etc). The forums here are a good start I s'ppose, but I have yet to test this theory or see it work for me ^^;

[Katesback]

What you are discribing is a huge problem with trans community. Most are well hidden away in the closet which is fine. The downside of this is that not being seen and out certainly will not help to effect change in society!

I cannot tell you how often I have sat next to a trans person that was complaining about how society is and wished there was change. The same person was deep in the closet.

It took reserve to remain quiet and smile as she went on......

Katie

[sissystephanie]

I think the last time I was in hiding about crossdressing was 2 centuries ago when I was a teenager! Yes, I am old!! Since then I have become quite open and out going.

Since my wife passed away a few years ago, I just go out as a man in a skirt or dress! No wig and no makeup because she always took care of those things! I go almost everywhere that way, restaurants shoipping, port office. etc.! Never have any problems!

[Persephone]

I might be in the minority, but I love spending time with my GG friends en femme and have enough GG friends to do this with. I would like to meet CDers in my area or in the surrounding areas, but it seems that my interests put me in a minority in a minority demographic (i.e. I don't go clubbing, bar hopping, dancing en femme, but love other girly stuff like shopping, watching movies, dining, etc). The forums here are a good start I s'ppose, but I have yet to test this theory or see it work for me ^^;

Hi Neighbor!

I'm not far from TO and have a lifestyle a lot like what you describe. Not really into clubbing, most of my friends are GG's and I tend to do "out and about" stuff with them and with my spouse.

You look great in your avatar pic!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Sheila]

local TG groups would be a good place to start or google and find TG friendly bars in your neighborhood or our meeting place on the forum could help find girls in your area

[Lexine]

Persephone~
Oh awesome! I've only lived here for a couple of years, and never really ventured anywhere here other than the stores, so that'd be awesome if we could meet along with your wife! It'd be nice to actually go en femme to the movies with new faces considering this year has a ton of cool movies coming out! And thank you for the complement about my avy!

[NicoleScott]

I cannot tell you how often I have sat next to a trans person that was complaining about how society is and wished there was change. The same person was deep in the closet.

It took reserve to remain quiet and smile as she went on......

Katie

I'd like better acceptance, too, but I can't be a martyr for the cause. I certainly would lose my job if I were out of the closet, as would other closeted CD's.

[AllieSF]

Yes, it is very difficult to establish a group of friends to go out with on a regular basis. Most of my friends are "travelers" who come to the SF Bay area on business. Logistics seems to me to be a big obstacle when you find a local friend but you never seem to be able to coordinate a time to go out based on each others normal schedules and, of course, how much they are in the closet or restricted to going out. I have met most of my friends from this site, and gone out with at least once over 10 members from here. I have met and gone out with a few GG's in a non-date, girls night out type of situation. However, since I am more than twice their age, there are the obvious limitations and varying interests. I have been to a couple of local TG groups, and, except for The River City Gems, most who I have met only go out to those type of group gatherings and not into the mainstream world for dinner drinks, dancing, shopping or whatever. When I see or meet someone who appears to be someone I would enjoy these types of activities I always try to meet them in the future. That, alas, has not been that successful. So, I just keep planting seeds with different people that I meet and hope that some will grow into a nice relationship. I think that "perseverance" is the key.

[sherri52]

I have to agree with you Suzy. It is not easy to find girls to go out. I found one in my own town that comes to my store dressed at 7:30AM but won't go out anywhere. I tried to set up a meet on site in the nearest large city and got no responses. I go outwith Gg's and my next night out is planned with a sister from Tn. only because she is coming here for business.

[suchacutie]

If I were completely alone, I would be able to make decisions that impacted upon fewer people. As a married TG, I have spousal agreements, one of which is that we are in this together, and so make joint agreements. I will admit that I don't publically go on and on about the state of TG civil rights, but part of the reason that there needs to be spousal agreements is that there are public issues to be considered, and family issues as well.

I'm deeply in love with my wife and deeply thankful for her openness, and even her eagerness with my TG self. Rock that boat? No chance!

tina

[jenna_woods]

yes its real hard to find new friends to go shopping with, as most don't go our and about.

[AKAMichelle]

A lot of cd'ers are very scared to meet or talk on the phones. I have found that meeting cd'ers through this website and friend of a friend are probably the best way to meet.

[Brandi Wyne]

There may be a line between being closeted and being discreet. Many of us have careers that are strictly going to work with the male identity. on the other hand, one's personal time can be spent closeted or finding others to share time with out in mainstream society. Now I am coming out more and more so I'm sure the occupational risks will manifest themselves more, too. Meeting others in the CD/TG world can take persistance, esp for those who live in more rural or small town settings. The internet is a wonderful thing to bring more of us together and together we will find strength. With that strength we, together, can change how the overall society views us.

[docrobbysherry]

What you are discribing is a huge problem with trans community. Most are well hidden away in the closet which is fine. The downside of this is that not being seen and out certainly will not help to effect change in society!
I cannot tell you how often I have sat next to a trans person that was complaining about how society is and wished there was change. The same person was deep in the closet.
It took reserve to remain quiet and smile as she went on......
Katie

Because those of us that r simple CDs, generally, r NOT accepted by Trans communities.

Also, open minded "regular" folks mite accept that TGs have a legitimate reason for wearing womens things!

Try telling them that u do it because u find it erotic and sexually exciting!?

Yeah, I hide. But, I WISH there were others nearby that I could hang with!

[Amanda Stubbs]

I joined this forum a few months ago, until then I was a lonely cd who often went out walking alone. Through this forum I have made some wonderful friends, just writing to 'similar' people felt great, knowing your not alone.
Slowly through emails, building a trust, I have recently met up a few times with a couple of friends, we've become even closer meeting the person for real as it's so fulfilling sharing time with like minded people.
I know it's a big step for some to make, take your time and try when your ready. I promise you you'll feel so much better afterwards.

[Sarah Doepner]

Suzy,

I think you are probably a lot closer to support groups and other crossdressers who are not hiding than you think. Your city is near Montreal, a very large metro area with lots of diversity and resources. Just search on "Montreal Crossdresser" or "Montreal Transgender" and you should have a lot of starting points for the next step in your research.

Go for it girl!

[Karren H]

A lot of cd'ers are very scared to meet or talk on the phones. I have found that meeting cd'ers through this website and friend of a friend are probably the best way to meet.

Yeah... Even then you get stood up or never get the phone call.. I have met quite a few local crossdressers, enfemme and in drab and have made a couple good friends.. But it take time to build up trust between them.. Trust in their motive... If they have one... And your motive, if you have one! And trust you won't get outed..

I was ice skating a few months ago and put it on my facebook page and a local cd friend saw it and showed up with his son and we skated for a few hours and had a great visit..

[mapletree]

I agree that it has been hard is hard to find friends and recently I have also thought that i need some new friends
i live in a strata where it is hard to walk out dressed becasue they know me as the guy who fixes and gardens and keeps the maint costs low not cindy

[NathalieX66]

I am fully 100% in the closet to my employer and my business contacts.

But certain family & friends (the ones that I can trust) I am out to. Some people go out of their way to hide themselves for fear of being outed. Not this girl! She wants to be seen & heard.

I