That's kind of where I was going. People know. I guarantee it. It's not just the acrylics. It's not just the long hair. It's not the clothes and the body that is obviously feminine (unless they make guys 4-inch wedges - which would be very cool
). What it
is is the reason why you are accepted wherever you go, however you present yourself. You accept yourself. Barbara, you are one of the most gender-fluid people I know. You seem to have the ability to "shape shift" as you call it by adding or removing articles of clothing/makeup in order to fit into a category that
you have created. I will step outside the boundaries of what I usually do and give advice. All I have to ask is this; are those boundaries totally necessary?
As I said, the people around you - the people you know in various "spheres" - already know Barbara, just as much as they know your male persona. Barbara is a big part of you. Barbara is not so much female as feminine. You are just more overt about it than a majority of us. That may be due in part to your wonderful accepting wife. I think that deep down she knows that her husband will always be the wonderful man she married, even if he does go to the salon more than she does.
Her acceptance, and the acceptance of your ladies group and all those others that know you- truly know you as you are - have allowed you to grow into the balanced person you are now. Congratulations my friend, you have arrived.
Kathi