Dreams and Reality

[AKAMichelle]

I think some are missing the point of the post. Whether you are a woman or a man, you will still need to eat, sleep and earn a living. Many of the things that you do as a man will be the very same things that you do as a woman. Some will change but a good portion will stay the same. At the end of the journey, you are still you. You didn't change. You just got a few modifications which it makes it easier for you to be you. After it all done and over with, you quit putting all of the energy into the transition and your surgery. Then you have to figure out how to live your life as you.

[~Michelle~]

AKAMichelle, you make it sound like a new hair cut. I think there is a lot more to it for most people who have done the transformation.

[Satrana]

Kate

I get what you are saying and agree with you. Don't understand why others are misreading your viewpoint. This is not about having dreams and goals but the unrealistic fantasy (sexual fantasy) that as a woman you will wake up every day for the rest of your life in Utopia with a continuous endorphin high. Anyone who believes that could ever remotely be true is swimming in a pink fog so dense they will drown in it.

The realistic dream is that you will be a happier, more contented, more satisfied person in your preferred gender.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Kate

I get what you are saying and agree with you. Don't understand why others are misreading your viewpoint. This is not about having dreams and goals but the unrealistic fantasy (sexual fantasy) that as a woman you will wake up every day for the rest of your life in Utopia with a continuous endorphin high. Anyone who believes that could ever remotely be true is swimming in a pink fog so dense they will drown in it.

The realistic dream is that you will be a happier, more contented, more satisfied person in your preferred gender.

exactly.

[Tomara]

Kate

I get what you are saying and agree with you. Don't understand why others are misreading your viewpoint. This is not about having dreams and goals but the unrealistic fantasy (sexual fantasy) that as a woman you will wake up every day for the rest of your life in Utopia with a continuous endorphin high. Anyone who believes that could ever remotely be true is swimming in a pink fog so dense they will drown in it.

The realistic dream is that you will be a happier, more contented, more satisfied person in your preferred gender.

I couldn't agree more !
It is amazing how these threads get so far off track of the OP's original point.
Tomara

[docrobbysherry]

If u WANT something badly enuff u can MAKE IT HAPPEN!

"Would I rather be a homely female, or appear to be the beautiful woman I've dreamed of becoming?"

That is the question I asked myself as I began to dress and think of breast expansion, augmentation, etc.

After years of CD dabbling, Sherry came into being! The woman of my DREAMS!

Since then, any thots of becoming female have vanished!

And, 10+ years later, Sherry is NOT taken for granted! To me, she's still the exciting, attractive woman that first appeared in my mirror back then!

Fantasy, or not, I wait with great anticipation for her visits!

[Karen564]

The realistic dream is that you will be a happier, more contented, more satisfied person in your preferred gender.

[SIZE=2]This is a dream that can cause some to go astray, and Has for many once they live in their Preferred gender...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Whereas they at one time thought it was going to make them happy & content, but after a period of time found out the hard way it wasn't all it was cracked up to be...and then made things even worse..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Kate's point was very simple....Be careful what you wish for...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Someone that has a mindset of preferring to live in a different gender has already set themselves up for a big fall & rude awakening...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]From my own perspective, even today, I would of Preferred to live in my born gender as a male...I didn't want to live as a woman or transition to reach this point, but I had to, only because that's what I was inside but it wasn't something I ever perfered.... that would of been nuts...[/SIZE]

[melissacd]

Michelle,

Bravo, I think that you put the whole thing very plainly and succinctly. Once you set the fantasies aside, male or female, you still have, for the most part the same issues to deal with.

Melissa

[Sophie_C]

The other day I had a trans person in my office. This person identified herself as a CD.

As typical she came in to talk about HIV (since it impacts us soo heavily) and other health issues. As always the talk turned to other transgender related stuff.........

She had questions... and more questions. Most of these questions were based upon dreams I would say. Questions like "whats it like to be a REAL woman?" or "whats it like to have a vagina", "whats it like to date guys (or girls) as a woman".

The questions went on and on. What do you think my answers were? I was very clear and to the point. "IT IS LIFE!", "It is NORMAL".

She did not get it at first because I assume she was in that pink fog of dreaming. As our conversation went further I think she began to realize that these visions and dreams were a bit skewed.

The fact is that being a woman is NOT a great departure from being a man in normal daily life. Women AND men get up and do similar things that at typical in life.

Having a vagina and boobs is not something that I think about any more than when I did not have these things. Being a woman is not something I think about as I live my life.

The real point of this post is to remind those that are dreaming is that reality is often a lot different than our dreams!!!!!!!! If you were a woman for a year I PROMISE you that LIFE would become normal and all the dreams and assumptions would be just that DREAMS!

Be Careful what ya wish for:

Kate

Katie, don't be so harsh on the girl. You know that's just an early part of an entire journey of self-discovery (however it will end up). It's very much akin to how a teenager gets all excited about driving a car, especially when they've never done it. Of course, it gets "normal" soon enough...

[gemsay32]

Hi Kelly...nahhh that's not what i'm saying at all...

your experience is so fundamentally and totally different than mine that i really get alot from perspective...but my thought had zero to do with what a young beautiful woman can do with her life

when i say "fantastical" i'm talking about exaggerated and silly things that a 50 year old bald person is saying about how she plans to transition..things that have no basis in reality...things that she has done NOTHING about...things she has not thought through and then she says that she wants to look at my vagina after my surgery!!! ummmm....
i dont want to be mean, but i didnt like that at all...

so when i saw kate's post, it reminded me of her, and some other people in my life right now...

i doubt very much that your number one goal is to walk down a garden lane in killer heels...and don't forget, BOTH OF US would love walking through a wonderful garden in our nicest dress....and i know i've done it!!!! but your (and mine) hopes and dreams are much more exciting and fulfilling than that, aren't they??

every day that i take my exercise walk, and i see another woman walking the other way, and she makes eye contact with me and smiles... i just sigh...i am so happy and peaceful at that moment...thats my dream, that's all it is...it has nothing to do with high heels (altho i love them and i enjoy wearing cute heels)

i am living my dream...when i bend down a pet a little puppy and her owner says awww fluffy, do you like her?? i pinch myself...

now i am moving on to making a living, and moving on to socialize with more nontrans people... i view this as adventure just like you described...and altho i'm off to a slow start, i'm plugging along, and i am realizing that i consistently pass, and i've even had the opportunity to talk to people after they "found out" (too many people in my field know me), they've told me that it never entered their mind that i might be trans....i can flirt with the home depot saleman...etcetc...its wonderful...as you can tell i can't stop blabbing about it!!

but i can also describe it as NORMAL, nothing on my mind except the day(s) ahead....to me normal is sooooo much better than where i was before...that's what is the best part for me...

feeling this way every day has changed my life, and i want to grab some girls i know by the throat and tell them what is possible

and i want to tell folks that i know are out there, and they continue to live in the fantasy world, that's fine, but if you are serious about fulfilling your real dream, then get real (for want of a better word)... there is nothing at all wrong with fantasy...but if you are seriously ts oriented, and you are sitting there on the brink, wondering what you are and what you can do about it, the reality is actually better than the fantasy....forget the clothes, forget the makeup...think ahead, plan the next 5 years, save money, get electrolysis, get family onboard, etcetc...it can be worth it.

so thanks for asking me the question that i used as excuse to send a love letter to the group!!

I think i know what you're saying. If you ask a middle-class black person nowadays what it's like to have equal rights, they'll probably say it's normal. But if you had asked a black person from 60 years ago what it would be like to have equal rights, they would have to tell a story because most of it would not be real! It's not normal until it has had the chance to be real for a while and it has sunk in. But at least the OP answered honestly.

Just remember it's not normal for everyone! Like someone else here said, a teenager jumps with joy at the idea of being able to drive because it's new, it hasn't become fully normal yet! The idea of traveling through space as easily as we travel the worlds oceans is only a dream at this point. The dream can help to motivate us to build in that direction. Once we have the technology and have traveled through space for a while like we have sailed the seas then it will become a normal thing that we do, not a dream. It's a dream until it's real. Then it becomes normal. But we'll always have dreams!

[Loni]

We all need our dreams, but also need to know what is real and what is not.

a lot of people say i am a downer, i say i am a realest. i do not know who is right or wrong, i just try to have fun...my way.

.