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Thread: In hindsight... I was pretty stupid

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Samantha_Smile's Avatar
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    In hindsight... I was pretty stupid

    So, yesterday was my last day off before I have to go back to work on the late shift.
    I woke up at 6.30 with Emma to make her a cuppa before she set out to catch the train for uni.
    I kissed her goodbye and jumped on the net, did a lil browsing, you-tubed for a bit then did a bit of system maintenance.
    I was bored by 8.30, so I jumped in the bath with plans to dress up for the day as I hadn't done it in a while.

    (Here I should point out, when Emma got to know the whole truth about me, she imposed 2 rules;
    -Never wear her clothes
    -Don't change your body to a more feminine look that is permenant or long lasting eg never shave your legs, pluck your brow to a pencl line or pierce your ears. Upper body shaving is accepted as some blokes will do this anyway.
    The reason for this rule was simple, when I'm out of skirts and stockings, she wants her bloke back and not a girly boy in mens clothes.
    These rules were agreed upon at the start. I had no problem with it, I understood every reason implicitly, she even suggested something called dance skins if I wanted my legs to appear smooth... more on this later).

    So, I'm in the bath, shavin my chest and keeping the short and curly ones in check.
    And heres the part I can't reason any other way, other than I had to know how it looked and felt.
    I started shaving my thighs!
    I didn't have any thought of rules or boundaries at this point, only the look and feeling I was going to achieve when I got done.
    Eventually I was done, surrounded by hair swirling in the bath. Still no thought of what I'd done, I just couldn't wait to get my stockings on. I cleaned up the bath, got dry and got dressed for the day.

    Stockings on- Appearance, pretty much spot on, loved not seeing short black curly hair under the nylon.
    Feeling... little difference if Im being quite honest. THe tactile enjoyment is neither increased or decreased.

    So I spent a nice day dressed. Watched TV, went on the chat room, played with stumble-upon for a while, had a nice day.
    But soon Emma would need a ride home from the train station, so I got undressed, cleaned off my make-up and took another bath, this time just to relax for a bit.
    Then came the moment of realisation, when I pulled up my guy jeans after the bath...
    "SHIT! I've shaved my bloody legs!!!!"
    I'd have to deal with this later.

    So I pick her up, and we get started on a massive chat in the car. Emma's a nursing student now, and I qualified nearly 4 years ago myself so I've been through all the BS lectures.
    Anyway, after 2.5 hours of "The NHS is on its arse becuase..." and "What they need to do is...", I blurted out,
    "Er, I need to appologise, Ive kinda shaved my legs..."
    She thought I was kidding. I wasn't.
    Then the shit went down, I tried to explain what was going through my head at the time, we both agreed there wasnt much going through my head at the time.
    Anyway, long and short of it is this
    - I knew the rules and boundaries, I broke them.
    She got my wig out and cut it in half right infront of me.
    I was told I could have a replacement when my hair grew back.
    Then she went to my femme clothes with a bin-bag, put all my stuff in the bag and locked them in the old car that is currently SORN, she has the only keys with her now.
    I was told I could have it all back when my hair grew back.
    If I do it again, she's gone, and that is the last thing I want.


    Im posting this on here for everyone to see that I actually find this fair.
    I broke the rules, now my enjoyment of something has been restricted for however long it takes to grow hair.

    Moral of the story,
    Those of you with accepting SO's, take note, if there are rules, obey them. Theyre there to protect your relationship.
    Ive learned the hard way, my girl needs her man, and I need my girl more than I need hairless looking legs.


    In hindsight... I was pretty stupid
    Samantha -x-

  2. #2
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    Oh boy,let that be a warning to all us girls,its so good you have such an understanding partner,she sounds special.Keep to those rules girl! Take care,hope them hairs grow quick.

  3. #3
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    Regardless of if you violated the rules put down by your SO regarding your crossdressing, the reaction to breaking the rules was a little extreme. You were swept away in the moment, I am sure that has happened to her on more than one occasion and after all, it does grow back.

    I can only say that I hope it grows back quickly.

  4. #4
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    Boy, are YOU pussy whipped!!

    This seems a pretty one way relationship.

  5. #5
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    Hindsight is indeed a wonderful thing,fair play to you girl you owned up to your mistake and didnt try to bluff your way through,maybe we can think your gf overreacted but she has accepted your dressing which is great and she probably feels hurt you crossed the line,Am sure you will make it up to her and I hope the hair grows back fast,get some fertiliser on them
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

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    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member boardpuppy's Avatar
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    That Pink Fog will get you every time but really withstanding that, be more careful next time. Here's hoping those little peskie hairs will grow out soon. Even with the harsh punishment, let the SO know how much she is loved, not everyone is so lucky.

    Hugs,
    Alice

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Sheila's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
    Boy, are YOU pussy whipped!!

    This seems a pretty one way relationship.
    ERrrrrrrrrmmmmm no did you not read these bits

    Quote Originally Posted by Smile View Post
    S
    Im posting this on here for everyone to see that [SIZE="3"]I actually find this fair.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE="3"]I broke the rules,[/SIZE] now my enjoyment of something has been restricted for however long it takes to grow hair.

    Moral of the story,
    Those of you with accepting SO's, take note,[SIZE="3"] if there are rules, obey them. Theyre there to protect your relationship.[/SIZE]
    Ive learned the hard way, [SIZE="3"]my girl needs her man, and I need my girl more than I need hairless looking legs.[/SIZE]


    In hindsight... I was pretty stupid
    Smile, well done on acknowledger your silliness, we all do summat stupid in out lives (me to many times to count), it is nice to see someone stand up and say "I did wrong and I think what she did in retaliation is fair" ......... it sounds like you have a good loving relationship with your SO and want to keep it that way
    I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
    Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me

  8. #8
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    Well this one confuses me a bit as I'm not entirely sure how I feel. Yep, you broke your agreement/promise and that's bad. You concede the point and that is good.

    Now my problem is that this is where my male side steps up to the plate and wants to get involved. It would be a cold day in hell when I let my wife or anyone else treat me as a child and take away my toys and things because I had done something wrong. Were I in your shoes and having done what you did, I might agree to leave these things alone until the fur grew back, but things would get incredibly ugly if she tried to take them from me.

  9. #9
    Silver Haired Member Phyliss's Avatar
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    Sounds to me like justice was swift and sure. I won't even say if it was extreme or not. (IMHO it was correct)
    I know that I had made an agreement with my wife, and I also know beyond a shadow of doubt that if I stepped "over the mark" I'd have been requested, in terms that left no room for discussion, to vacate the premises. My girls clothes wouldn't have been cut up, but I'd have had to retrieve them from the front lawn.

    You do the crime, .... you do the time.
    Lead me NOT into temptation
    (I can find my own way)
    I HAVE WALKED THAT MILE IN HER HEELS
    CURTSY to all BOW to [SIZE="3"]NONE[/SIZE]


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  10. #10
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    I think its fair too... if you didnt find those rules fair, then you could always move on...

    getting acceptance is about being true to yourself, but sharing yourself in a relationship includes compromise..

  11. #11
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    You need to write the rules down on paper and put the list where you keep your things as a reminder and to keep reality in check when you dress.

    You broke the rules and the consequences you now face are in every aspect fair. For her to meet you halfway with your dressing took alot and she has sacrificed things as well for your needs. The act of you disregarding her safe zone with all this, just shows her or makes her feel you have no regard for her feelings. And in truth, it probably wasn't even about you shaving your legs. The fact that you did not consider her needs before your own; was/is probably the deciding factor in her decision to lock up your girlstuff till you get your head out of the sand.

    be happy she didnt walk out.

    And this to the "your P-whipped people"
    -Theory question-
    If your SO kept taking her credit card and maxing it out every time you paid it off, even after she swore she wouldnt do it anymore. And then the statement comes in with it maxed out yet another time....What would you do?....Take it away maybe of or cut it in half? HMMMM, your thinking now, huh

    Different scenario? yes
    Principle is the same though, if you cant be trusted with it than you dont need to be tempted with it.

    So i say- Good for her, for one; standing up for herself, and two; giving you another chance.

    Be her Man now

    Keep your chin up,
    -Donni-

  12. #12
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
    Boy, are YOU pussy whipped!!

    This seems a pretty one way relationship.

    Really and how do you come to that conclusion?

    Smile good for you for telling her, you could like so many on here tried to keep it quiet...Now for what she did, personally I think cutting the wig as not right they cost a lot of money, but locking the clothes away yep agree with that.

    Hopefully it wont take to long for the hairs to grow back..and next time think more before you do anything.
    Sandra
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    I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs

    R.I.P Rianna

  13. #13
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I applaud your honesty but I don't if you needed to 1) tell her let her find out by her self and 2) it is your life and body she doesn't control it.
    I can certainly see where she needs her man and wants a man to look like a man. But your an adult who can make your own decisions.
    I would have a major problem with it. And I now all of us with SO's are some what whipped especially when it comes to our dressing
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  14. #14
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    I, too, have a mixed reaction.

    I believe in rules but at the same time when I get dressed I don't want to appear as a man in a dress. So that means my arms and legs need to be less hairy. My compomise is that I don't shave completely but I shave a lot and trim both my arms and my legs. Then I bleach the remaining hair so it is very pale/white so when I wear pantyhose/tights you cannot see any hair. When I am back in boy mode you can still see hair on my arms and legs.

    Everyone has there own compromises and a lot of it depends on how you wish to appear when you are dressed. Some people just want to put the clothes on and your compromise would work fine.

  15. #15
    Member AriannaVillota's Avatar
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    Maybe I'm way off here but cutting your wig?

    O_o

    This sounds like a parent/child relationship, not an equal partnership. I'm glad you're happy and accepted (to some degree, still not what), but I...

    I suppose.

  16. #16
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    time to find another honey

    Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
    Boy, are YOU pussy whipped!!

    This seems a pretty one way relationship.
    cut your wig in two ??? why not say she took up too 100.00 British pounds and set it on fire with her lighter

    are you audits or what. time for another talk or move on

    either she will try to understand and except over time or she will never change.ever
    what you can't understand is she is not built to accept another woman as a partner nor tolerate this behavior.
    so we all know this trans thing is for life right. ----- so the question is, are you prepared to live the rest of your life in this type of relationship. and let mommy tell you what you can or can't do ?
    The approval of others should not be a motivation for a lifetime of misery. in a way you both are living in hell on earth hoping to change each other
    you should both move on..
    be happy
    Last edited by MJ; 05-21-2010 at 09:46 AM. Reason: spelling
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  17. #17
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    Grow up.

    Her reaction was destructive and a huge red flag for your future going bad. If you think about it, it seems she was just waiting for you to do something so she could go off on you.

    Let's say next time you buy a magazine she doesn't like so she breaks your reading glasses (or, some comparable tit for tat exchange). This is a destructive relationship and you - you are foolishly allowing yourself to be punished for being who you are. You both need to knock off this kind of thing before someone gets shot, stabbed, or, burned...

    If you are a masochist, maybe you're fine with that and it's well and good. But, you're not a masochist are you? You're a crossdresser. You both knew that and you both, for your own individual short-sighted reasons, made "rules" for PERSONAL behavior. But, in writing or not, you can't waive your rights to your PERSONAL thoughts and personal actions. If you have an itch, you have the unalienable right to scratch it - "contracts" don't apply.

    As to relationships... She knew you crossdressed and she should know everyone slips up here and there in life. What you want is someone who works with you when you screw up, not someone who makes life worse for both of you.

    Take your lumps and take your cue. This is not a good relationship for either of you.

    Agree it's all your fault, apologize like crazy, and get out the door.

    Maybe the next guy will like getting his stuff (car, stereo, dog) messed up more than you do. Or, maybe she'll figure out pouring gas on a fire is a bad idea.

    Either way, this business of "living by the rules" is nuts.

    Live better by loving one another well, not by "making" each other "toe that line" for the next forty years...
    Last edited by mklinden2010; 05-21-2010 at 11:15 AM.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Loni's Avatar
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    cutting the wig is a bit much..read $$$$.

    but good for you to live up to what happened. sorry you have gotten into trouble over this...but rules are rules. if you did not want to live with them you could always move on, but your choice to live under them. so must pay the piper for breaking one of them.

    as for those saying P-whipped, i say shut up, this one has a woman that loves him and is willing to put up with what some do not think is right. and the rules are by agreement, not forced.

    i say the hair will grow back soon, she will forgive, and life will go on.

    .

  19. #19
    Junior Member shannonFL's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, but mklinden2010, once again, eloquently crystallizes my own thoughts, now, if I could apply these principals in my own life, making progress...

  20. #20
    Lacy Lacyfem's Avatar
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    Hindsite

    And that is why my wife doesn't know I dress. I do shave all but my legs which she objects to immensely and has let me know she thinks crossdressers are sick anyway. However, I can relate to your spacing out when the fem side came out of you in the tub as when I dress my male side goes away and I totally love to get into my fem side. So much so that I've done some stupid things which could jeopardize my marriage which I value. That's our difference as you have a SO and my SO I'm married to. It just depends on how far you want to go with her as to how far you want to go with your crossdressing. It's nice that you have this site to share and get the wonderful responses posted here but we all know you'll do what you want to do.

  21. #21
    Administrator Tamara Croft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loni View Post
    as for those saying P-whipped, i say shut up, this one has a woman that loves him and is willing to put up with what some do not think is right. and the rules are by agreement, not forced.
    If the rules aren't forced, then why did the wife cut up the wig and lock up her clothes like a child having a tantrum? IMHO that is forced ruling and is wrong.

    First of all Smile, this is YOUR body we are talking about, YOUR hairs and you should be able to do what you please with them. This isn't healthy, this is controlling, not rules by agreement. What would happen if you coloured your hair and she didn't like it, she going to shave it off? I don't agree with ANY rules in a relationship that would cause this type of behaviour and I'm sorry, but your wife is completely out of order cutting up things you own and locking your clothes up like you've committed some kind of crime.

    Do you have rules for her and if so, what do you do if she breaks them? or are these rules in place for you only? Do you like everything she does? This kind of thing makes me so mad, because some of us GG's aren't like it and I don't think telling CD's that this is a good lesson learned, because it is NOT!!!

    And one more thing, did you post this here because she is a member and can read how very sorry you are? I wouldn't be bloody sorry, I'd be mad as hell... and if the SO reads my post, I hope you understand what a controlling woman you are
    Last edited by Tamara Croft; 05-21-2010 at 10:18 AM.
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  22. #22
    Joyously 27
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    Angry Re Rules

    This a Love relationship? It's BS.

  23. #23
    Junior Member LizSummers's Avatar
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    That's not cool. She sounds abusive and controlling.

    No one should be in a relationship like that - I'd rather be single and able to do what I want, than have to kowtow to a dictatorial partner.

    It's not worth it.

  24. #24
    Platinum Member Sheila's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sallee View Post
    I Know all of us with SO's are some what whipped especially when it comes to our dressing
    NO you damn well don't Debs is free to dress as and when she wants period & the OP said she found what her SO did was fair, whay are some of us telling her it isn't ............ I admit the wig was perhaps a bit over the top, but as the OP stated WHEN SHE FOUND OUT .......... (again another relationship first built then told) her SO asked for 2 bounderies, both of which she wilingly agreed to .................. my bet is her SO will think things through today and realise she may have overreacted and when they are home tog they will discuss it ............ I may be wrong, but who hasn't reacted harshly when their partner has done something stupid in the past I know I have and regretted it as soon as I have calmed down .............. this lifestyle is hard sometimes & both SO's and TG's have been known to over react to things ............... should I have taken Debs at her word the other day when she told me to throw her things out when she was in a temper, or did I do right, let her calm down and realise she had been an A$$ .......... [SIZE="3"]we all over react at times[/SIZE]
    I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
    Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me

  25. #25
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    People are missing the point.

    They had an agreement, Smile, broke that agreement.

    Fair or not, his life;so he can do what he wants..... if he had the agreement and wanted to amend that agreement he should have just asked.

    And saying ppl cant be bound to the 'Rules" on the premise that they should be able to do what they feel.....contract or not.....is just asinine on a self absorbed level, because you are not taking those you love feelings into account.

    To "the its not fair, she controlling you crowd"

    How do you justify complete disregard for something you have
    compromised and worked for, to achieve balance in a relationship?


    Then after that,YOU go back on your promises to another person, you just expect THEM to ACCEPT it....and then, they DON'T accept it, so you break your commitment to them and run away......hahahaha, Smile, they are the ones who need to grow up

    Listen, if your pushing your personal relationship boundries
    then by all means push them, just make sure your pushing in the right direction, for YOU an HER.

    Above all else, if you want to keep her, stick to your rules.

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