Why does it seem that the public has an assumption that all crossdressing is a sexualized hobby and that people don't do it unless they have get off on it sexually?
Why does it seem that the public has an assumption that all crossdressing is a sexualized hobby and that people don't do it unless they have get off on it sexually?
Because perhaps they are uneducated into what Transgenderism is and get their "view" of the community mainly from guys in 6" heels, wearing short belts, ove rmade up pouring into and out of gay clubs ........... Because so few are known locally as CDERs, the average guy/girl next door going about their daily life, because we in the community do not educate them, the majority wait for others to do it for them & simply put because sometimes that is what it is all about for some
I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me
I have said this quite often. We have a lot of people that complain about things or the world. Some even blame the world for problems that are actually thier own.
The same people often are the ones that hide in the closet and refuse to do anything to effect changes to what they complain about.
Because some do. So the public thinks that since some do all must. Stereo typeing.
One reason I dressed alone in a vacuum for all those years, before coming out online, was because I THOT all CDs MUST BE PERVERTS!
Ignorance about TG/TSs is QUITE COMMON, Bob!
I agree 100% Kate! I don't spend time worrying about passing in public. But I DO, trying to understand and accept myself for my dressing "hobby"!Originally Posted by Katesback
.gif "Big Roll Eyes")
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 05-21-2010 at 11:16 AM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I've noticed that when someone is alone there views are very different than when they are around others. IE: someone is alone and see's a tg/cd in public they don't cause as much of a stink about it as if they were with several of there friends and they feel the need to overreact to the encounter with the tg/cd peer preasure makes people do and say things differently in order to fit in with there friends.
We're all guilty of it myself included not anything towards tg/cd's but other things such as seeing someone who isn't as good looking as others if alone we don't say anything but if someone is with us we say nasty things about there looks in order to seem cool in the persons eyes that is with you. It's wrong but we still do it. We as tg/cd can't expect anything different from people it's just the way life goes we either live with it or try to change peoples oppinion of us which in this society is really hard to do.
BTW the only reason I dressed in the closet for so many years was I thouht i was the only boy who liked dressing in girls clothes.
Hugs and kisses Brenda
Is this truly how society perceives us. or as Kate mentioned, just a figment of our own fear? Personally, I have never seen any data that would back this up. ??
I guess it depends a bit on where you live. In my area, the terms "Transgender" or "Crossdressing" aren't even known by most people. They only know about Transsexual (and they have very hard times finding acceptance here), drag queens in de lgbt show scene, and pervs shown on TV stealing woman's panties from backyards. Very narrow vision.
But that's just how it works. Whatever the big crowd thinks, or is made to think by TV and stories, is followed by more. That doesn't mean people will be unaccepting if you give them proper information about the topic, but it can make the step of going out in public less easy.
"One day Jessy, I'm gonna show you the world..."
God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared "I can do better than that!" and so He created women.
The ITer stepped back, looked at the beta results, and declared "I can do better than that!" and so he created the final version.
Sometimes in the final version, some of the beta crap still remains. I know, because I'm living proof.
recently, in my grocery store bulletin board, I saw an advertisement for catering company which was basically photo of a half dozen women in tuxedos holding casserole dishes & what not. I often see female police officers wear the same exct uniform as men, including the hat. I think the conclusion is that women wearing what is percieved as men's clothes is considered "neuter".
If a man wore a dress & high heels, society considers this as a sexual act, period. End of story.
We live in a society where women should be empowered and strong, but men wearing women's clothes is considered weak, and even perverted. So much, I believe is based on myth, but unfortuantely, it has happend on a universal scale.
I am beginning to believe that if people don't see this frequently enough, the phobia sets in.
The media doesn't tell people about Joe Average because that isn't what sells. They tell people about the oddballs in society. That's often the only representation of CDs a lot of people see.
Well, for starters, and maybe finishers: "There's clothes, and then there's clothes..."
Clothes that set mood and tone, for example, push certain buttons. Victoria's Secret s-e-l-l-s the damned secret - it's kind of an ironic name. F*** M* pumps get a certain kind of attention that's hard (ouch) to think of as anything but what it is... "Things come up." And, when it comes to sex, a lot of the time that's exactly the, er, point.
Meanwhile, the majority of men - and some women - are helplessly and hopelessly visual-response hardwired. They can get a charge out of seeing just about anything that hints of certain things. Entire billion dollar make-up, scent, and fashion industries are based on this automatic response. And, women, among others, use those products to get those results, and, others, in a variety of ways.
It gets more even more complicated. But, I think the simple answer is that the vast majority of people who wear and like women's clothes do so, at least in part because it does nearly always have a sexual component. It's "common sense" and it's sometimes wrong, but it works well enough for the masses to get by with the simple thought.
If you want to change that perception, it's going to take a lot more, "Yes, and..." conversation to induce most people to think any other way than "sex" when they come across visual gender bending in their lives.
Everyone has to work on image. Bosses are "just regular guys." Bikers are "family people too." Gay soldiers "can and will" fire a rifle...
It's the way it is until it ain't...
It is simply the stereotype. We're not alone with it, plenty of other groups suffer the same.
I wonder (and I may be wrong) if it's got anything to do with media representation of the cross-dressing community, the 'Dear Deardrie' photo story, the cheap magazine article, the late night Jerry springer type shows, where the tranny is usually depicted in lingerie and lippy... And then do the public perceive it thus... "Women wear those things to try and tun men on, ergo trannies must wear it to turn men on too... And therefore they must all be seeking sex"
It's a thought.
and programs like Jerry Springer don't help either!!!!!!!!!!!!1
To give an example of another group of people that got this stereotype without even trying: Furries. Thank you CSI for screwing up the image that we're spending years trying to get rid of. It's just a stereotype, I think in most cases, if it's different, it must be either bad or sexual. C'est la vie.
Most people seem to assume we are gay or want to be women.
Well, sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender presentation
And for wanting to BE women, one would find this only to be 50% true.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
People are sheep - they believe what they see and what others believe. What most people see as CDers is what they see on Springer and RuPaul's Drag Race (watched about 10 minutes of that a couple weeks back and was disgusted...).
I was thinking about this question a few days ago, but moreso: Why does the general public believe that all crossdressers are gay?
My only thing I could come up with is a lack of understanding. Someone who doesn't know that much about us see's we are trying to act as a girl and automatically assumes we like boys.... :shrugs:
Best I could think of...
Lots of Love,
Miss Kara
A man cannot exist without a woman, but a woman can exist without a man. Who is the lesser gender?
I do not care what people think. I like to dress in women's clothe's. I do it because I like to do it. My wife knows and does not object, I have fun, enjoy it. I dress most days for several hours ,every day. I am not hurting anyone and would prefer to have the world know it.
Women's clothes are much more comfortable to me than men's clothes. I feel very fortunate.
because they are willfully ignorant and haven't a scoobys of anything or anyone outside their neat little boxes
We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire
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A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a roseFacebook:Sophie Johnson
We spend a lot of time defining ourselves by what we are not rather than what we are. As Kelli suggests, is it in response to questions we are asked or our own defense mechanism kicking in?
Someday maybe we can get the Gallup poll results in and have something real to base the question on. Any of you work for a national survey?
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Well i have to agree with all the girls,its very much what people see in the media etc,i had friends that said CDers were gay or wanted a sex change,when i asked why they just said any man who wants to dress up must be! thats as far as their little narrow minds went, needless to say i didnt admit my dressing.
Gee, I thought EVERYBODY did just that!
Lets face it, your not going to find an honest TG person who didn't at some time in their whole live-long lives, find their "gift" to be sexually exciting. It sort of like doing a poll on Teenage Boys to find out if they ever masturbated. An overwhelming verdict of "Been there, done that!" Unless of course, you are talking to a whole bunch of liars.
But, we are more complex than that! Many have moved past Their Teenage Erotic Dreams Phase, and being transgendered means a lot more. That's probably where The Public has a misconception, and it's probably up to us to enlighten them.
ALL PEOPLE are sexual, and it's logical for somebody else to assume we dress ONLY for sexual reasons. Heck, subconsciously they know that if they dressed, that's exactly what they would do, and so they assume we are doing it for The Same Reasons.
I never Deny that being Transgendered has a Sexual Element to it....but, if asked, I usually explain: "But you know what, there's a lot more to me than just The Sexuality....can I explain it to you?"
Seems to work about every time, then we can move on to finding out if Joanie is a person they would like to know.
Peace and Love, Joanie
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