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Thread: Are there any other CD's who are gay guys?

  1. #51
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeElastique
    I don't get it! I'm trying to understand. Like, a lot of you like to CD but prefer women?? And I thought my sexuality was complex.
    [SIZE="2"]I have heard, in one or two definitions I’ve come across, that a MtF crossdresser is supposed to be a gay male who dresses as a female for his partner. Everyone champions his (or her) own chosen definition, so I wouldn’t be so surprised to find the full gamut of gender and sexuality on display in a forum of this type. Reality, like sexuality, is complex and quite fascinating. Except for my “fellow” crossdressers, I do not enjoy the company of males, but I’m talking about the males you run into on a daily basis. Any deviation from the male norm, a pearl of sensitivity in the shell of ugliness, catches my eye. It doesn’t really matter what gender you are, or what gender you prefer to hang out with, since (for me, at least) it’s all about finding interesting souls who have the courage to experiment with their lives. It should come as no surprise that many MtF crossdressers prefer women, since they spend so much time and effort trying to emulate their appearance, according to one’s own personal level of visual (and emotional) interest. This fact alone seems to be very difficult for outsiders to understand, but it’s the truth. I assume you’re young, and thus unaware of the circus of life going on all around you. With that in mind, do yourself a favor -- get within the "community" and meet all of the participants, my dear…[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Anneliese
    I'm a CD who has only had hetero experiences, but who is open (top or bottom), to...other...experiences. What does that make me?
    [SIZE="2"]Beautiful and interesting, I would say…[/SIZE]

  2. #52
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    One of the reasons many heterosexual CDs attraction to feminine clothes etc. is that we are attracted to (and even fascinated by) women, and we wish to emulate what we are attracted to. I know I dress up as and emulate the type of woman I am attracted to.

    I have often wondered if it is easier being a gay CD, since there are a zillion times more men who are attracted to CDs than GGs attracted to CDs. The dating pool for a gay CD is far greater compared to an almost nonexistant pool for a straight crossdresser.
    Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 05-23-2010 at 04:09 AM.

  3. #53
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    I am a bi curious guy who is also very curious in the cd'ing scene, I am really looking to explore my bi side with another gay/bi crossdresser.

    G

  4. #54
    CD in S.A. Kimmy55's Avatar
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    I also am bi.Have been for years,but I do like my men to be smooth
    Kimmy 55

  5. #55
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    I am bi but wont have realations with just a guy they must be cd/drag queens or trans.

  6. #56
    Aspiring Member SamanthaS's Avatar
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    There is nothing wrong with being gay, but I wonder why a man, who wants to be with another man would find a guy who looks like a woman attractive? I know your not alone

  7. #57
    Senior Member Jamiegirl1's Avatar
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    Bi here also,I only like to be with men when I'm dresses as a woman,otherwise not interested.I have been with a couple of men and it is great,but men are pigs,you never hear from them after they have had their way with you.I still prefer women , still the most beautiful creatures on Earth.

  8. #58
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    I'm new as well!

    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeElastique View Post
    Hey Everyone.

    I'm new to the site and I have a question. I've been crossdressing for 2 1/2 years now. From what I know, most CD's are str8 guys (maybe I'm wrong). If I'm right, I kinda feel like a rare breed since I'm a gay guy. I want to know if there are any others who live their everyday lives as gay guys but who are CD's.
    I'm in therapy and have been out a few times. My confusion like some here is exploring bi/gay fantasies when dressed. I like woman and both woman and men when dressed the image of knowing enfemme i attract men is such a turn on. I'm so grateful so many of you are here feeling the same way. I'm ok with exploring but I want a black and white answer. I'm finding out it doesn't work this way. Hugs to you all

  9. #59
    Member FemmeElastique's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamiegirl1 View Post
    Bi here also,I only like to be with men when I'm dresses as a woman,otherwise not interested.I have been with a couple of men and it is great,but men are pigs,you never hear from them after they have had their way with you.I still prefer women , still the most beautiful creatures on Earth.
    That is so true. I hate when that happens after I've had really good sex. I wanna continue it but I never hear from the guy again!

  10. #60
    Member FemmeElastique's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kristi Moore View Post
    I'm in therapy and have been out a few times. My confusion like some here is exploring bi/gay fantasies when dressed. I like woman and both woman and men when dressed the image of knowing enfemme i attract men is such a turn on. I'm so grateful so many of you are here feeling the same way. I'm ok with exploring but I want a black and white answer. I'm finding out it doesn't work this way. Hugs to you all
    A black and white answer would be nice. I think there is one somewhere. I'm sure somebody has simplified it in a sentence or two.

  11. #61
    Member Tess's Avatar
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    With over 50 years of experience I still have no answers. All I can relate is my own situation. My first gay experience occurred within a year of my first CD experience. The sexual preference issue has never been related to the CD issue for me. I have always been at least bi with a strong leaning toward gay as I've aged, but only with regard to sex. I much prefer non-sexual relationships with women to those with men. None of it has anything to do with my cross dressing. For me, cross dressing is more like self actualization, a pleasure, and very hard to explain.

  12. #62
    Human Raine's Avatar
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    I'm pansexual, and I like my people as I like my dolls, smooth and adorable.
    [SIZE="1"]The beginning of your story may never be edited, but your story's ending has yet to be written.

    Website | DeviantArt[/SIZE]

  13. #63
    Member VikkiVixen7188's Avatar
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    From what I gather, Gay men that crossdress tend to do it for Drag shows. Thats a Drag Queen.

    A crossdresser, someone who crossdresses in day to day life not for performance tend to be straight.

  14. #64
    Member FemmeElastique's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VikkiVixen7188 View Post
    From what I gather, Gay men that crossdress tend to do it for Drag shows. Thats a Drag Queen.

    A crossdresser, someone who crossdresses in day to day life not for performance tend to be straight.
    Yeah, then we're definitely not as common as str8 CDs. I don't do it for drag shows. I've been asked several times if I'd like to perform and the answer was always no. That could be the start of a new thread!

  15. #65
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    I do not think I'm gay but have explored that possibility in the past - I just love CDing - Ellen

  16. #66
    Member Marla's Avatar
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    I used to think I was bi but that got too complicated. Now the only relationship that I enjoy is with males even if I'm not dressed.. When I am dressed being the female is exciting beyond belief. You have to be very careful though because some gay men don't like being with cders. Just my thoughts.

  17. #67
    In the closet - for now. Shadeauxmarie's Avatar
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    I think there's a female spirit trapped in my body, but she's a lesbian.
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  18. #68
    To answer the original post, I'm a gay guy who crossdresses. I've been gay as long as I can remember, and out about it since I was 19.

    I found it much harder to come out as a crossdresser (will the coming out ever end?). I've been with my husband for nearly 20 years and it took 15 to get the nerve to tell him. I'm glad I did, but he was understandably suprised (much like any person's spouse might be after discovering their long term partner is a crossdresser).

    I wish I'd been an out CD so that my partner was aware of that side of me from the beginning.

    To reply to Vickie (below), I don't know if it's easier being a gay CD. I don't have anything to compare it to. And in the end, it doesn't matter. But I do know that the dating pool for gay CDs isn't what you might think. The gay community likes drag queens, but still has a lot of issues with CDs and TG folks. So the grass isn't always as green as you think.

    Feel free to contact me directly if you'd like to know more.

    XOXO

    Christa



    Quote Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV View Post
    One of the reasons many heterosexual CDs attraction to feminine clothes etc. is that we are attracted to (and even fascinated by) women, and we wish to emulate what we are attracted to. I know I dress up as and emulate the type of woman I am attracted to.

    I have often wondered if it is easier being a gay CD, since there are a zillion times more men who are attracted to CDs than GGs attracted to CDs. The dating pool for a gay CD is far greater compared to an almost nonexistant pool for a straight crossdresser.

  19. #69
    New Member bdsmcandy's Avatar
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    I am Bi and proud of it, it can be complicated and confusing but I could never just stick to guys or girls I like it all to much

  20. #70
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    Just responding to a post above asking about whether it is easier finding partners who like cds in the gay community...I would say that it is just as hard. It is true that there are many more male admirers of cds, then female admirers. As a result, being admired by a man certainly fulfils a part of me. But when it comes to stepping up to the plate, going on a date or -- god forbid -- committing to a relationship with a male admirer, there are all kinds of problems and complications. I think in this regard, a woman in a relationship with a cd is more dependable and more unconditional in her acceptance. Men are fickle creatures. I think the difficulty that I have as well is that I'm not really attracted to typical gay guys -- I like men who look and act straight and who will desire me when I'm dressed, and that's a bit of a tall order if I'm just a crossdresser looking for a meaningful relationship with a man.

  21. #71
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    When I was 18 I knew I was a cross dresser but didn't have any satisfactory relationships with girlfriends and was still a virgin. And my parents, who had busted me a number of times either en femme or found my clothing stash, were convinced that I must be gay and this was my way of acting out.

    I started responding to some of the gay or bi guys who hit on me and had a few affairs - one lasted off and on for five years and another for over a year. I would dress at least partially as femme, underdressing at times but sometimes completely dressed, although I never went out on a "date" with them en femme. This was all way in the closet: one guy I was involved with was married and had a child, the other divorced and also with a child. I'd only hook up if I wasn't dating anyone: if I had a gf everything else was on hold.

    Eventually I learned more about cross dressers, transvestites and transgenders and realized that while the sex might be fun, there wasn't the same kind of emotional attachment I had with women. I wanted to kiss and make love. One just wanted to do it and once he got his way, he would move on, not in a mean way but it wasn't any kind of love relationship. the other was quite a bit more considerate but we only hooked up when I was in femme mode and it was purely for sex. So this wasn't going to make me any happier.

    I started having more sustained relationships with women and eventually got married and had kids. I fantasize at times about guys and sometimes have cyber sessions, but haven't actually been with one for many years.

    It seems everyone wants to define gender and sexual orientation in binary terms. But for many of us, they aren't.

  22. #72
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamiegirl1 View Post
    Bi here also,I only like to be with men when I'm dresses as a woman,otherwise not interested.I have been with a couple of men and it is great,but men are pigs,you never hear from them after they have had their way with you.I still prefer women , still the most beautiful creatures on Earth.
    If you give it up on the first date, that's what you might expect. Putting them off for a while is a better test or their intentions. Are they interested or just looking for a one night stand? I wouldn't classify all men as pigs, but they certainly can be if you let them.... if you let them being the key.

    Kel
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    http://youtu.be/kR7NlgwVHHg

  23. #73
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    I CD in private. I'm bi and often think of transexuals when I have those private thoughts. I perfer to talk and be with women, just feel more comfortable. Would much enjoy to find someone that I could trust to just honestly chat with.

  24. #74
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    I began to understand that I wasn't completely hetero about 20 years ago (early 40's). I had my first experience with a man 2 or 3 years after that. I thought that I was gay and started to settle in with that. Meanwhile, my wife and I could see the end of our relationship coming to an end. This was only partially due to my realizations. We did have a number of good times, but there were also many bad ones. Anyway, while we continued to live together, we did live on different floors of the house while she was trying to figure out her exit strategy.

    However, sort of by accident, a woman that I had known for close to 10 years came back into my life. We had never been romantically involved before, but that changed. We realized that there had always been this tension and undercurrent in our relationship. What I discovered was that I was more than capable of satisfying her (and THEN some!). At that point, it became increasingly clear to me that I was actually bisexual. I had strong physical attractions for men and women.

    Anyway, that is how I have continued to view myself for the last 9 or 10 years. It feels very comfortable to me by now. However, to this point there have been more physical relationships with men than women. I've always thought of sexuality as a continuum. Having more male lovers than female lovers just means that the balance is not necessarily 50/50. So what?

    However, since I married my second wife, I haven't been seeking out any mash-ups with guys. Not that I wouldn't, but my current relationship is good. The CDing also came along after the last time I slept with a guy, so I don't have any reference points there.

    I do get ticked off when I tell people that I am Bi and the response is that I'm greedy or it improves my chances. This happens WITHIN the community, which I find particularly distasteful. If this is what happens in our community, how can we expect much change in society at large?

  25. #75
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    I'm a small guy and not very good with people so I had a difficult time with girls. Ya, I got some giggles and flirts in school and at work, but none of it was serious. I'm too shy to confront it anyway. I'm middle age and still a virgin. I think that playing with female clothes for me was my method of dealing with what I felt was my failure as a man.

    I had a brief period where I wondered whether I could like guys. I think that it boiled down to a very simple formula that asks the question: how much like a female is the guy? So, essentially, I figured that I'm straight. But if I was given the option to know a guy that way, I would explore it. I did actually experiment a couple times. I found that with the flip of a finger I could find interested gays. It was no sweat. I even went on a webcam for fun. I wasn't CDing or anything. Just as me. (Btw, I don't "CD", I just think the smooth shiny fabric is VERY sexy.) Anyway, I found it to be immensely ironic that it was so easy to find gay guys but impossible to find females. Females just didn't like me.

    I remember once while in a mall a couple cute girls were nearby and one of them said to other one, "Is that guy gay?" She was looking at me. Understand? I've got that more than once. Doesn't help that I have crooked teeth. But I think every girl that sees me thinks I'm gay or something because of the way I move or talk or look. I just, inside, wish I could be MASCULINE or FEMININE without the mess I seem to be. So I guess i appear gay to others even though I'm not.

    It's hard for a guy who has low a relatively low self-image to make it in the dating scene. And when you add up all of the other potential troubles life can bring, is it really any wonder why some guys turn to strange and bizarre fetishes to please their sheltered desires? Some people make do with what they got. That's what I do.

    I think the real reason I like feminine things is they're clean. Masculine things, at least in my experience, are very dirty! If I had to put my self on a scale between 1.0 (masculine) and -1.0 (feminine) I think I'd give myself a 0.34. I definitely would never pass as a female unless I lost the muscle I have and my skeleton changed. I know this because I actually dressed up and recorded my self to see if I could get off on it. It was obvious that my shoulders and back and everything else and the way I moved was too male-like and a big turn off. Besides, I don't want to be a woman. On the other hand, I'm not a tall man rippling with muscle chasing after big truck with a beard, husky voice, and an ambition that would please steve jobs. I'm just a nobody, floating somewhere in between a sissy and a unisex.

    I think we can love and have intimate relationships with anybody. Sure, you might not find them sexually attractive in a natural way, but do you have to? I don't think love was singularly made for sex-based relationships.

    And I have never had an intimate relationship. I'm 33. I better hurry up!

    (and btw, i think my attraction to smooth shiny fabrics is the same kind of fetish that some gays have for leather. i know this is a fetish because a gay relative has it. leather and muscles and satins and curves. simple!)

    Has anyone seen studies linking the length of your index/ring fingers with sexual preference (gay,straight) and even people who're scientists? I ask because my index finger is about the same length as my ring finger on my right hand. I have seen some, and my measurement is more like a hetero-woman and scientists. I compared it to people in my family and was startled that it seemed to work well, but I don't use it to pigeon-hole people. I only learned about it a couple years ago. It's not like I"ve known about it all my life and am fulfilling my expectations!

    Example:
    Finger size link to earning power:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7825890.stm

    Finger Length Helps Predict Test Exam Results, Homosexuality, Cancer, Musical Ability and Aggressive Personality -- Study Shows:
    http://viewzone2.com/fingersx.html
    Last edited by gemsay32; 05-27-2010 at 01:51 AM.

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