Why do U need to dress to get in touch with your fem side?

[Andromeda]

I also have not found a lot of difference in my inner female and the outer male. Possibly I dress just because I like female clothing. However a thought did occur to me while reading all the posts. What if it is not about our outer Neanderthals exploring their feminine side. What if it's our inner female exploring the outer knuckle dragger. Just a thought, but, if true, that girl is just plain sneaky.

[Megan70]

I don't feel any different INSIDE no matter how I'm dressed. And, I guess I'm clueless as what a "fem side" is all about!

I KNOW we look different dressed, but why and how does changing clothes change how u feel inside? I don't get that!

!

I'm with you Doc, never got the 'fem side " bit myself. To me its rather silly, now don't everybody start dumping on me, its only MY opinion of how I relate to it.
I dress because I look pretty ah)(so I think) as a female. It is sensual and sexual at times very pleasing but my greatest thrill is not finding my so called fem side but fooling people going out in public and being an actress if you will and impersonating a female in voice mannerism nd deportment. What I get are THOSE satisfaction, I'm an ugly male but disguise it with a wig and makeup to look fairly passable, but don't check my profile page just now, its got its temporary summer hiatus album and profile shot to it. I'll replace it when I'm ready.
Cheers " girls".
Megan

[JulieK1980]

For me its not so much to, "get in touch with my feminine side" I definitely agree I am the same person regardless.

For me I think its more of a way to express the inside of myself on the outside. Ultimately "who I am" feels more a woman than a man. As its expensive and life altering to surgically alter myself to match up with my inner self, so I just resort to dressing the part.

[Natalie_393]

I have to say this caught my eye sherry, This is a great point to bring up... When I comes down to it, I feel the feminine part of me all the time but when I dress it lets me express that side of me in a way that makes me feel naturally comfortable in my own skin, Also if you think about crossdressing is being going on since forever so maybe all these dresses, and skirts, panties bra pantyhose etc.... these things weren't widely available like today, so maybe crossdressing is a deep down feeling you feel in your heart all the time and when you have the chance to dress or express your self in ways you normally can't, Then Dressing up is a special feeling for you and nobody else except for other crossdressers Good Topic sherry!

[Fab Karen]

1) the femme side exists regardless.
2) why does a GG want to wear pretty clothes & have nice hair & make-up? Same as us, because she enjoys it.

[sissystephanie]

I know that I have a feminine side!! I certainly have been told that often enough, by both GG's and males. But I don't have to dress to show it! As I have said many times before, I dress simply because I like to! I don't 'Need" to, or "Have" to!! I just do it because I like to.

Yes, when I had my very supportive wife around to do my makeup and fix my wig I would occasionally truly become Stephanie, at least in looks amd dress! But as I have also said before, I have never had any desire to be a woman. so I have rarely used much of a girlish voice, or mannerisms. I just am me, a man who wears feminine clothing because I like to!! Now thar my dear wife has passed on, I do it without makeup or a wig, and nobody seems to mind! At least not to my face!!

[terri jane]

IMO. In drab in the mirror I can only see the twinkle in my eye. In femme my outsides match my insides. It helps. Terri

[docrobbysherry]

Oh Gosh Doc! Changing into something feminine doesn't make us feel more like a Girl....on The Inside! We already feel like that!

But, it does kind of remind us (on The Outside), and validate how we feel so many times during a day. And, that's what being transgendered is about! "It is a longing to get where we want to go. That's what wearing The Clothes is all about."

This isn't The First Time you have asked this sort of question. Perhaps, you subconsciously try to deny something? I never asked, or didn't see a reference, but did you dress when you attended Southern Comfort? Didn't you feel some pull to be like The Rest of The Gurls?

Perhaps it's a Conundrum for you. I know you have "claimed" that you are strictly in love with That Self-Created Image of Sherry. But eventually, we get bored with "The Looks" of any female, no matter how beautiful. You can't seem to shake that "feel" for Sherry, so we will suppose it's something else. We aren't inside your head, so we may never be able to supply an answer. But, if I were you, I think I'd make a real hard stab at finding out. You ask This Question and it's variations fairly often. Methinks it's really bugging you. It's either that or find some self-acceptance. Maybe your need to express (find) Sherry just "is." You could learn to leave it at that!
Peace and Love, Joanie

Me thinks u know me TOO WELL, Joanie! That so many of u feel some connection to an inner part of yourselves when u dress, bothers me! Because I don't! U discuss your fem alter egos like they're old friends that u know and understand. But, for me, Sherry is a complete stranger! Like a character in a movie I'm watching!

Does that have something to do with the fact that I'm not proud of dressing? Maybe. And, that I think of it more as something that I DO, rather than an expression of something inside ME? Probably!

Is it possible that I simply have an odd 13+ year compulsion, (that appears to be getting stronger, if anything), that is based SOLELY on looking at my reflection in a mirror, and my pics!?

If so, as u said, shouldn't I be getting BORED with this "hobby" by now?

I keep waiting for a sign, or a lite to come on!

I also think what Sterling told you ....Staging some pictures is one thing,But you have created a feminine character with a name and face.So,there must be some real feelings when you are her.You didn't pick a boy pirate or an astronaut to dress as!

I ask myself this same question all the time!
Because I DO think about appearing as pirates, astronauts, and so MANY other characters, Rogina!

Of course, they're ALL pretty females in those costumes I think about!

WHY IS THAT!? I can't help but think SOMETHING ELSE is going on. Maybe in my subconscious? That has happened to me before, many years ago!

[Ruikki]

As I learn more about myself and my "feminine side" Im finding how very different the people are. My male persona has so many things bottled up... stress, fears, pain. I eliminate the possibility of being vulnerable by controlling everything from my actions to my emotions. Im too proud to appear emotionally weak in front of anyone... even the closest of people.

When I'm dressed, I feel like a different person. I feel vulnerable, I feel confident. I have a huge amount of insecurities, but I dont try and alter my surroundings to deal with them... instead I try to triumph them. I love my feminine side because it forces me to continue thinking about myself and my ideals and the things I want. Im a college student, still trying to find her way. Putting on my breast forms, spending an hour putting on my makeup and walking around my room in my cutest underwear is the only thing I have to relax... and actually enjoy the person that I am.

[Sarah Doepner]

I think I'm getting a handle on what drives me a little. While I don't think I have a unique and isolated "Feminine Side", I do have a lot of emotions, feelings and needs that I've been unable to comfortably deal with using typical "Male" tools and skills. This creates some stress and the opportunity to dress opens up that wider range of responses and permissions.

I'm starting to think this may be part of the reason behind the common statement we see here of "I am much more calm when I'm dressed." We have reduced our internal conflucts and added new mechanisms to deal with them.

And yes the other part of it is we can run away from those problems as well. We get to take a mini-vacation, much in the way a 20 minute power nap can refresh, a session en femme can help remove us from stresses and give us a little bit of new perspective. Of course, it would probably be healthier if we could get those tools and permissions without the dressing, but let's not forget the fun we have as we dress.

[ShevanAZ]

I def feel different inside when Im dressed on the outside! Kinda like how a tie makes you feel like your ready to go to the office I guess...

[busker]

Sherry, I don't know what you do in life but perhaps at some point, the person inside got tired of it. Instead of boots and a corvette, you decided to get a costume to express something about your unfulfilled life. Some men go hunting maybe just to get rid of a lot of the "neanderthal instinct". Some guys grow orchids because it requires something more than they have in their "normal guy mode"--a feminine delicateness..
If you remember Rosie Greer (spelling) and his knitting- a lot of folks were surprised at this hulk who did something so gentle and generally female as his pastime.
Personally, (keep your slings and arrows down girls) I do think that there is a certain amount of schizophrenia in dressing, especially if one has a well- developed alter ego. When I was young it was a topic that occupied a lot of my time. Perhaps we all are to a certain extent trying to match the real world with a "better world" but the "real me" is not two distinct people--my interests range from cooking (and sewing many years ago) to building projects, large or small. I also like flowers (and bugs) and take care for injured animals but it is me on a continuum. I don't have to switch--the activity is a giveaway about which sensibilities are being used.
just some thoughts. I think the question is important for all of us to reflect on. Thanks for bringing it up.

[Raychel]

That whole "Fem Side" bit doesn't really apply to me either. No matter how I am dressed I still feel like the same person. My mannerisms aren't any differant, But the feeling of the nice womens clothes, Kind of puts my mind in a differant place, A place of peacefulness, a place where most of the day to day worries don't seem to bother me. Sort of like a mini vacation.

A short period of time where I can feel like myself, Enjoy the clothes I like, and just relax for a while.

[Victoria Anne]

I suppose I do not have to wear a dress but it makes me feel complete somehow as things are just right,I am at ease and If you asked Miss M she tells me I am a different person in my mannerisms I just feel like myself

[~Michelle~]

Most people whom you ask this question, probably started to wear girls clothing at the age of 4-6 and they didn't know the answer then, so why would they know the answer now? None of them can accurately answer the question why a 4-6 year old develops the interest to wear girls clothing.

Most people think they know the answer, but reality is... they don't, even researchers haven't scratched the surface of how the human brain works and in combination with other parts of the body. And let's be honest; does it really matter to a crossdresser or transsexual how he got there? To me it doesn't.

[NathalieX66]

Most people think they know the answer, but reality is... they don't, even researchers haven't scratched the surface of how the human brain works and in combination with other parts of the body. And let's be honest; does it really matter to a crossdresser or transsexual how he got there? To me it doesn't.

Funny you say that. My step-brother's 13 year old son has Asperger's syndrome, plus GID, and he does not understand, or is not acutely aware of the line between genders as we know.....as if he does not know exactly what gender is, other than the fact that he seems to radiate towards female traits and mannerisms and dresses unusually androgynously for a kid his age. How the heck does he know about this stuff? He has a lock of blond hair that is braided all the way down to his derriere. We should be so thankful that he has understanding and loving parents.