I am finding that a lot of transmasculine people feel forced in a very small box of what masculinity is... I personally am content with my fairly "androgynous" way. I am generally "more masculine" but I do like some "finer things" that are considered feminine. It pains me to watch transmasculine people at odds with each other because of confidence issues related to masculinity. This is something common among cisgender men as well. I really like Jackson Katz' take on the issue; he describes men wearing a hypermasculine posture, called the "Tough Guise." Many men feel they must be strong, tough, invulnerable, rugged, and violent. I find anyone who is masculine-identified, including cisgender women who are "butch," struggle with aspects of the Tough Guise.
I personally value peace, civility, honesty, and diplomacy. People say this makes me a "wuss" and a "pussy" and a "queer" and others will go as far to say that this makes me "not really a man." I know in confidence that I'm a man, so these attacks do not really faze me. However, they are extremely effective on most masculine-identified people. I am not trying to claim superiority here; I am simply at peace with some of my "more feminine" traits. I wish I could show that to other people.
Some transmasculine folks say they're a "different kind of man," and end up being almost hyperfeminine. That's fine, I have no criticism of it, but I don't think they need to call themselves a "different kind of man." I really think we need to realize, just like girls can be femme and butch, that men can also be femme and butch and still just be men. I'd say I generally fall on the masculine side of things, but a few aspects of my personality are "stereotypically feminine." Most of my personality is pretty straightforward and masculine though. You will never see me be passive-aggressive; if I am "being nice," it's genuine, because if someone makes me mad, I tear them a "new one." I am very direct but I don't force this into my personality to seem more masculine. I've always been this way.
I think we need to be at peace with the parts of ourselves that might not fit the stereotype of the gender we identify with... and feel no need to amplify those aspects of ourselves that do.
[SIZE="1"]Oh and if anyone has any qualms with why I made this thread, I was prompted to write this by no one in particular.[/SIZE] This is just something I think about a lot... And I wanted an excuse to mention Jackson Katz.