I'm wondering why...

[Kate Simmons]

...some folks, despite being here for years have never shown a picture of themselves en femme in either their avatar or profile. I know some will say they would be recognized or that they have a high profile job or a job in security and cannot take the risk. If someone you know does see you here, how will they explain what they were doing here? The thing is if you cannot share with your "family" here, who can you share with? I sometimes find it hard to take someone seriously if I cannot see who is talking to me, despite words of wisdom. I respect eveyone's right to anonymity but truthfully don't see the need for it in a place like this where the other folks are like family. What do you think?

[Sedona]

It doesn't bother me a bit that some don't want to put up their photo. Everyone has their reasons why they choose to be more or less discrete. Also, (as far as I'm aware) I've never met a single person here in person. Even the most gregarious of us have only met a small percentage. Do any of us truly know everybody else on this site?

I consider CDers just like I consider everybody else: Mostly good and well-intentioned people, with some idiots, incompetents and jerks mixed in. If I or anybody else doesn't want to tell all and bare all to unknowns, it's understandable.

[Danielle Gee]

It doesn't bother me a bit that some don't want to put up their photo. Everyone has their reasons why they choose to be more or less discrete. Also, (as far as I'm aware) I've never met a single person here in person. Even the most gregarious of us have only met a small percentage. Do any of us truly know everybody else on this site?

I consider CDers just like I consider everybody else: Mostly good and well-intentioned people, with some idiots, incompetents and jerks mixed in. If I or anybody else doesn't want to tell all and bare all to unknowns, it's understandable.

It was a big leap for me to post my avitar photo and I'm sure many others have their reasons for not doing so. I also just accept people as they come.

[Freddy12]

I'm with Sedona on this. While I have met two members in person, I also know that each person is in a different place as far as dressing. We are also in different places as far as how open we can be. This site often help us recognize that there are others who are also struggling with the desires we feel. Sometimes that struggle includes the struggle about displaying to others our feminine self. That can be in public, or on this site.

There are also those who are not cd'ers, but I prefer to ignore those folks.

[sissystephanie]

I didn't find this Forum until after my wife had passed away. If she were still around to do my makeup and fix my wig as she always did, I would have my picture as my avatar. She had the skill to make me look totally different! I don't have that skill, so there is no picture showing my face and never will be!!

Besides, as has been said, who cares??? We are a bunch of different people just like the world is!!

[Megan70]

It was a big leap for me to post my avatar photo and I'm sure many others have their reasons for not doing so. I also just accept people as they come.

But the "leap" was a good one for you Danielle, old Friend, I remember playing around with your avatar in photo shop and showing you different results you could do with your wig. i think the shot you are using now with the white background is one of them,I know you were delighted and I was happy to do it for you. My Avatar is the same but my profile picture changes constantly like the goofy summer one i have up now for a giggle.
We lost touch for a while girlfriend.
I do always wonder what some of these girl look like especially those , like myself who are passable and go out in public why they aren't proud of their looks and show it with an Avatar or profile shot. Why I've walked right past and sat next to people I known from work or church or friends while dressed in public and they never knew for an instant. It then when I knew I did a good job as my "disguise" other lifes' look.

Megan

[Jenniferx1]

Well it`s really is down to what people feel comfortable with......there`s neither right or wrong leaving pics or not.

Spread the

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Denise, avatars can be seen without needing to be a member here.
You can see the daily posts in MtoF [and the avatar associated with the poster] without ever joining the forum, which is probably why some members never post avatar pics.
As for profile or other pics, maybe some members just don't want people to see them or aren't ready for other people to see how they look for various reasons of their own

[Jenny Doolittle]

I would post a picture if it were totally up to me, however I have made a promise to my wife to honor her request not to post any pics of myself on the net. She has concern as do many that once something has been posted on the net it is there forever and can be used or manipulated by anyone.

[Leanne2]

It is hard for most of our younger girls to realize that some of us aren't so good with technology. Personally, it would take me half a day to figure out how to post pictures here and I just don't have the time for that. I actually did post some pictures of my new hairdo about a year ago but I can't remember how I did it. I'm still upset that my telephone answering machine was taken out by lightening last month. My new one has different buttons and logic and I still can't work it as I should.
Right now I'm online with a dial up connection. If I get something faster then I'll have to figure out how to use that. And what the heck does 3G and 4G mean? The TV commercials for blueberries and such mean nothing to me. Thanks for letting this old girl rant for a while. Leanne

[indiejosee]

It's funny because this is my first post on the message boards but there are many reasons of why I do not have an avatar of myself on here, nor do I post pictures of me en femme on the internet.

1. I have a media related job, which means, I get recognized every now and then. Because of that: no Facebook, no drinking in town, etc. I'm far from considering myself a superstar but with my job, I don't have a choice.
2. For the moment, crossdressing is something I need to do alone. I have been struggling to accept myself and finally found the courage to tell my girlfriend after several years. Now, my first priority is to be able to dress up at my house and feeling comfortable doing so.
3. If this was a really select circle of friends, let's say 5 people I would of known all my life, I wouldn't mind them seeing me en femme when i'll be ready. (Un)fortunatly, the internet is a public space and I would not want some pictures to backfire on me one day

All this being said, expect to see an avatar one day, i'm not comfortable with the job I have right now, i'm hoping one day i'll be ok enough with my crossdresser self to post a picture and, the main reason of all: i'll either have bought a wig or have grown my hair.. Also, by then, i'm hoping to have a nice make-up collection

[Kate Simmons]

As I previously stated, I respect everyone's right not to choose to post their picture. I just felt the question had to be asked. As far as being recognized, the risk goes hand in hand with "gaining" our much vaunted rights as TG folks.

[bredalee25]

Well Denise you know or at least you should know that I posted photos of my face on here a long time ago. Thanks to the two inconciderate GG's that were being rude and ignorant had to make all kinds of nasty remarks about those photos and i've never posted any face shots again.

I can't remember who they were but they had me ready to leave this site and never return in fact I did stop coming here for a while.

All it takes is one bad apple to spoil the entire bushel.

[Sheila]

I didn't have a pic of me as my avatar when I first joined the forum, becuase I was protecting my then partner at the time ......... he did not have an avater pic & if people saw mine they could make the connection through me that he was a dresser ............... later on after we split I changed my name to my real one and added an avatar pic of me ............ Debs is comfortable with that , but even if she wasn't I am not sure I would take it down now ............ I am me & proud to be a member of this community anybody who has a problem with that, then that's there problem not mine

[SuzanneBender]

I know several ladies from this forum, two that I have met in person, on this forum that don't simply for security reasons. All it takes is a right click, save for someone else to own your pic and do who knows what with it.

Posting pictures here is a leap of faith.

I like many of us love the way I look en femme and I enjoy sharing my pictures with others. I often trade messages on here with ladies without pictures and I find myself wishing I knew what they look like, but ultimately it really doesn't make a difference to me.

[AKAMichelle]

I understand what you are saying. But you have to remember how scary it is to come out of the closet. I didn't have a real picture for awhile. I had a picture of a black duck to signify the ugly duckling that I felt was me at the time. It took some time before I realized that some people might come across my pictures on here, but what does it matter. Like you said why were they here? Everyone has to do this at their own pace and I think the bigger problem is the ones who hide everything from their SO. They are just heading a huge train wreck and when it happens they will be the first ones asking what to do.

P.S. I own my own company and I worry about being found out but I decided sometime back that the more important issue for me was to be ME!

[Bethany38]

[SIZE=4] I can understand why some would feel reluctance in posting their pic. When I first started here I thought I would never do it. Then as time went on I felt I was being dishonest with the pic I had, it was of an actress named Zooey Deschannel. Though I never claimed that I was her, I still got people asking if that was the real me. So then I put a disclaimer on my signature stating that it was not me. I finally said the heck with it. I realized if anybody did see me here they were here for some reason or another they probably would not want everyone to know about.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4] It may be that some are afraid to open Pandora's box. Maybe they do not want to start down a path that could become a rocket sled on rails. I know ever since I came out things have progressed with me much faster than I ever thought they would.[/SIZE]

[Chloets]

How do I put up a avatar pic? I must be missing something..hahaha

[bianca66]

The scariest experience I had with a picture was on Myspace when a guy I know started flirting with me. We see each other around town at various events. He started perving me...

A few days later we were standing beside each other talking in a group and he didn't recognize me (I would have loved to say "so Dave you like girls in pink cords and red pumps?"). Since he thought he was chatting with a GG the idea that he should recognize me was only in my mind...Since then I have received the courage to put up more pictures. My straight friends won't be on this site and if they were to come across me here then maybe I could get a date

[tommi]

Denise

I put a picture up once and my wife found the pic on my cellphone and that
lead to major problems with her an my dressing forced me into counciling.
As much as I would love to post some pics I don't even take any anymore.

[minalost]

I like my avatar, so I won't be changing that, but I did finally get a profile pic of myself in the system. I took a while to do this for 2 reasons. First: I wanted to get comfortable with this site and the people here. Second: just getting a photo. I was recovering from a purge and didn't have the wig, makeup, and clothing I wanted for a photo.

I'm explaining all this to show there can be a lot of reasons someone may not want to post their pic here. That being said, I (and this is just me...) felt I wouldn't be taken seriously without some proof I wasn't just a wanna-be or faker. I don't think a pic should be (or is) required to be taken seriously, but my own comfort level demanded that I pony up and join the team (as it were...). In other words: if all the girls here that I respect and admire can do it so can I!

That's why I posted a profile photo.

Just my .

[Sherlyn]

I dunno Denise as a major picture poster here I look at you and say ..all I ever see is an avatar with pretty much the same pose but different wigs ..never can I remember seeing anything but that from you ..so I guess to each their own eh !!

[Annalise]

I prefer not to show the face or delve into TMI for now for future career reasons. If not for that I'd show off my pretty face

[mklinden2010]

This questions gets asked a lot...

Basically, I regard this kind of communication as a phone call. I could care less to see the person I'm talking to - mostly because I care more what's on their mind than what's on their back.

But, if you want to be picky about it, I don't much like the "glam" photos that people primp and pay for. It says a little about them, I suppose, but what it says is not much that I'm interested in.

Frankly, the avatars that are obviously meant to amuse are the best - whether it's a real person, some vamped movie star, or, some cartoon character. Those, in a way, say more than a "real" picture would about the person anyway.

Meanwhile, I mostly don't care one way or the other. Too much like a phone call, not of much use, hardly worth the bother.

[StaceyJane]

It ook me a while to get the courage to post a pic. First i possted one where my face was hidden but after I did my makeover I had some really great pics and I really wanted to shre them.
Plus I feel the en femme pics show the realme.