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Thread: Week 4 Inquiring Minds Want To Know

  1. #1
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Week 4 Inquiring Minds Want To Know

    We have Week 4 of our GG's questions! Thanks in advance for your help all.

    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?
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  2. #2
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
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    10) Sometimes us TG do hear GG's make comments like, "You have better legs than I do" or "you do your makeup better than I do".
    I think most of us TG take that as a huge compliment but most of us don't translate it to jealousy. Except in the cases of maybe the most perfect looking TS (sure as hell isn't me) I doubt a GG would feel threatened.

    11) My partner was not comfy with my TG-ness, hince my divorce.
    When it comes to dealing with TG-related issues like HRT, emotions, or other things that only a TG would understand, then yes another TG voice matters more. When it comes to looking like or assimilating as a woman, then for me, a GG opinion outweighs a TG opinion by a ton. Many TG tend to overdo things like style or mannerisms.

    12) Many women are cool with TG-ness, unless it is their own partner who is doing it. Plus, sometimes partners (like my ex) would be cool with it sometimes and nasty about it others. If a partner was 100% accepting then I see no reason to exclude or hide it from her.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  3. #3
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    We have Week 4 of our GG's questions! Thanks in advance for your help all.

    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    I don't post those thoughts since none of the 3 ladies that were in my life (2nd wife, (died) third wife (divorced) and present SO ) ever were jealous of my looks or ever indicated they were threatened by me in any way. And no, I'd never say it because it is a fun thing to do. I don't get that. It would be a lie and that's not good.

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern
    The only voice and opinion that is important to me is that of my SO. I could care less what my "SISTERS" voice and opinions are. Sure, nice to be complimented, but no one matters to me more then the Lady I love and loves me. No way could a SISTER'S be more valid to me.


    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?
    Another thing I don't do. I hide nothing from her...and I do mean nothing. That would be a lie by omission to her and that could cause a break in the trust we have in one another.

  4. #4
    Just a little mouse. Babette's Avatar
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    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?
    I sincerely hope that no one is either jealous or threatened by any aspect of me. To discover that would really depress me. If that has happened to anyone, then I am so sorry because that has never been my desire.

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern
    I'm not sure of your question's point. Are you referring to our "Sister's" opinions of what we experienced, or how we feel, or how we look, etc? I hold my wife's opinion more precious than any one else's. Yes it is her safety, concerns, feelings, sense of fashion, opinions...... that are paramount to all others. Like her, I sometimes solicit the opinions of others because they don't have the same emotional attachment or concerns for my feelings as her. Someone else's perspective adds another dimension to my thought processing.

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?
    Absolutely not!

    Babette
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    We have Week 4 of our GG's questions! Thanks in advance for your help all.

    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?
    10. No and I never have posted any such thought!
    11. I don't beleive for a moment that my "voice" or those of fellow CDers has more validity or weight than that of my partner in any regard - whether it be my appearance, our safety, or whether we chose to go out in public.
    12. We haven't discussed going out in public with any seriousness...although I'm interested. Just not quite ready to go there yet - if ever.

  6. #6
    anna anna kate's Avatar
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    I see no reason for a GG to be jealous of me, they are the ones I'm trying to emulate. I would think, a GG would think, it to be a compliment.

    No opinion is more important to me than that of my wife!!!

    I hide nothing from my wife, we have a very open relationship, since I came out (20 years ago) to her. There is nothing I can't talk to her about, or show her.

  7. #7
    Silver Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    No--I see no reason for jealosy, old, wrinkled face and ratty wig--however, I am a slender size 10. Perky silicone. Lots of women wish they were a size 10.

    Since my wife is disapproving--she has expressed negative opinions, about my looks, when she sees photos. Sigh. But I am always happy to get a compliment from fellow cders. Their opinion and support counts because they have been there, done that.

    Knows, but not accepting. Does not want to see or hear about cd. Also when I was 10 my mother scolded me severely, due to finding some girly clothes. I am thinking this caused a deep sense of guilt--which has been difficult to overcome.

  8. #8
    Chickie Chickhe's Avatar
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    10. Yes, but it is all about her insecurity, not the fact that I look okay... for example, she hates having a big rear-end and when I add padding to increase mine, she feels jealous.

    11. Not many can truely understand what it feels like to walk in my high heels. My SO has a certain view of what a man is to her and CDers have a different experience so...it is all about associating with people with a similar history which is really helpful in figuring out problems.

    12. It might be we don't know how to express it or there are some things that are private. How many GGs do you know who would talk about their personal grooming habbits with their SO?
    Chickie

  9. #9
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    10. No!

    11. It never was and never will be!

    12. We had almost 50 years of her knowing everything about me. That cannot change now! I didn't hide anything from her!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  10. #10
    Heroine of Silmaria Elsa von Spielburg's Avatar
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    10) Heh, I've heard the off-comment about my figure, but that's really it. I'm much more jealous of GGs than the other way around.

    11) Erm, I care about my GF's opinion first and foremost.

    12) I don't. My GF has helped me open up/discover this part of me more than ever.

  11. #11
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post

    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?
    huh? Sometimes I think maybe I am either being interviewed by Matt Lauer where this question gets rephrased in order to trip me up or I missed the part where I said I want to make GG's jealous. Wasn't this question asked in a slightly different manner before? Once again, I don't try and make anyone jealous. I appreciate the comments for males and females of how nice I look, how good my makeup is and how my legs look. I dress to make me happy and I love the attention. I don't make anyone jealous intentionally or otherwise to the best of my knowledge.

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern
    My inner voice is the one I listen to. I don't tell anyone what to wear or how to walk or how to hold a tea cup. When I get suggestions from my SO or people who are with me when I am out and about, I take them as they come. Often I will mull them the rest of the night and many times I will agree that what I wore may NOT have been exactly what I was going for and then move on. However, no one is ME but me and when anyone (sister or SO) tells me I MUST dress like this or that I will most likely ignore them. I think, in general, the draggy Frankenfurter/RuPaul look is at best a short trend when someone starts dressing. It doesn't take long for a TG to learn that these are not common social outfits but they DO fit in in certain situations. On the other hand, forcing one to "blend" or "pass" into your style isn't kosher. We understand your protective feelings, we have them too. But would a GG like it if their SO said "Cover that up you look like a ..."? No they usually react badly to that yet don't understand why we do when you say you don't like what we wear. It's a two way street

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?
    Fear of being torn to shreds? Fear of having that puckery lemon face look thrown at us. Sort of the same reasons GG's don't own up to everything they do.
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  12. #12
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
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    10) Some women have directly expressed minor envy of my bustline when I wear my 40G forms (usually as I'm looking over at them and envying their bust-line!). I'm not aware of any other "jealousy" of my looks... not many women would want to be routinely pegged as male by 99.99+% of the population!

    If any GG's are envious of my looks, I think it would more likely be envy of my freedom and self-confidence, of the permission I have given myself to go out and dress pleasantly and to be happy. Most people trap themselves: I know I did that to myself for so long (and still do in a number of respects.) It is true, though, that I can afford "nice" clothes and interesting (but not necessarily expensive) earrings, and can afford the time to search for those things. From one point of view, my life is pretty good -- but I wouldn't wish my internal struggles on anyone.


    (Note: if I decide later to answer the other questions, I will edit the answers into this message.)
    Last edited by sandra-leigh; 05-10-2010 at 11:47 AM. Reason: Add note

  13. #13
    Senior Member pamela_a's Avatar
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    10. Women jealous of my looks? I find that highly doubtful. I have had a few female friends tell me it wasn't fair that my bust is bigger than theirs (a natural D) but that's about it. I dress to look nice most of the time and I do receive positive comments from other women on my outfits and look but I can't imagine they are jealous of anything

    11. My wife and I tended to have very similar tastes in clothes and she regularly had me shop for her and I don't dress to attract attention. My goal is to blend in like any other woman.

    12. Did I hide thing from her? Probably no more than I hid them from myself. The past 8 years she knew as I changed my wardrobe from male to female. Less than 1 year before she passed away I accepted I was TS and started transitioning and she was there for me. The last few months before she died she even started calling me Pam
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  14. #14
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    There is only one GG that sees me, and the only thing she is jealous of is my ability to lose weigh faster than she can. That and my wardrobe, she is always telling me if she gets down to my size and I loss some more, she wants my hand me downs. I really hate the thought of her wearing all my clothes, I know they would look so much better on her than me.

    I love reading the Sisters opinions, but I don't take anyones opinion over hers but my own.

    I might be willing to hide something from her if I could think of anything she doesn't already know. But it's been almost forty years since I told her about me, and I didn't hold back then, and I never did again.
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  15. #15
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by di View Post
    10) do you really believe that ggs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?
    Not in the least. That's why I even insist that a GG would be jealous of my looks.

    Quote Originally Posted by di View Post
    11) why is your "sisters" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "us", "our" safety should be "our" concern
    It's not

    Quote Originally Posted by di View Post
    12) even though your so knows and is accepting of your cding why do you still hide aspects of your cding from her?
    I hid things because my wife wasn't accepting. I think if she accepts me then I should trust her and show her the respect that she is showing me.
    Michelle

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member msniki48's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di;
    [B
    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?[/B]



    In no way is there any GG jealous of my looks, at least i don't think so.... uh i wouldn't mind....er it would probably lift my spirits a little. well maybe there is one or two women in this world that would be jealous.... NOPE i don't think so


    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern

    i listen to my wife, but then again she listens to me when it comes to dressing. i think our styles compliment each other.
    I would hope that if there are any sisters that would ask my opinion... it would be very veryclose to that of any GG's opinion. dress approprietly for your age and occasion. reality is that no one sees you more than your SO...she sees you from every angle in real time...not some snap shot in the perfect angle and lighting So listen to her!



    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?

    I don't,[ NOW]

    but until i was totally accepting of myself there is a scense of self loathing, thus the need to hide part of it.. i am not saying it is right, i am just saying it is one reason why it happens. I never knew what TG meant when i was younger, and i hid it from my 1st wife for 23 yrs. it wasn't until therapy that i gained a realization of who i was...and i wasn't so bad, that i became comfortable. My wife passed 8 yrs ago.[ we were both at peace with niki in the end] i hold nothing from my 2nd wife of 2 yrs and we are both at peace...well maybe she is more at peace than me right now...but that is another thread.


    Thank you for making me think
    Last edited by msniki48; 05-10-2010 at 05:07 PM.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?
    I think I can safely say that no GG's would be jealous of my looks and I would hope no one would feel threatned by how I look, although I might look pretty scary. Maybe that's why all the women and children go running and screaming when I walk by!

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern
    Although I have wonderful CD friends on here, I very much value my wife's opinion more than anyone else. She is the one that sees me live, in person.

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?
    I don't hide anything from my wife and I always try to express myself in a way that I would never feel ashamed if she read everything I posted.

    13) Have you stopped beating your wife?
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  18. #18
    Aspiring Member joandher's Avatar
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    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    A)I dont think any gg would be jealous of my looks, and ive never even hinted or thought that

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern

    A) Our "SISTERS" voice or opinion is not more valid, but it is also nice to get an unbiased view from outher people,I try to dress to blend in ,and try to not draw attention to myself,and safety is allways a big concern

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?

    A) My darling wife knows about my under dressing which is 24/7 and is excepting of that, and even does all my washing and ironing ,and puts my undies away,and even buys me a few things now and again ,but trying to take it further is a BIG NO NO , I keep hinting but she blocks it out ,and doesnt know that i fully dress and go out shopping , meetings,events,etc
    I only wish she would be fully excepting,that would be my dream come true


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  19. #19
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    Absolutly not. Hey Ladies! Does any one of you really want to look like a guy in a nice women's outfit? I didn't think so.

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern.

    My wife has come to trust my judgement on what I wear and how I behave. It's to the point that she rarely comments on my choices unless I ask her, the same as I'd do on the forum. We have established guidelines for safety and I follow them. If there is any need to change them, I try my very best to consult with her first.

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?

    I'll have to think about that. I wonder if I am hiding something from her and I'm in denial about it. I believe she knows all about my CDing, but maybe it's time to talk again. Did she put you up to asking this question?
    Sarah
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  20. #20
    Member Renee_E's Avatar
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    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    No I don" think GGs are jealuos of my looks nor would they feel threatened. If I did post anything along those lines it might be GGs beware you might die of laughter.

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern

    They aren't more important, it just is a different perspective.

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?

    My partner is accepting but not always comfortable when I am dressed. Wearing earrings or make up make her uncomfortable. So,I hide those things that make her uncomfortable
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  21. #21
    Brenda Luv bredalee25's Avatar
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    #10 I personally have never said that nor do I think that.

    #11 On this one I respect the oppinions of sister CD's my wife doesn't understand quite as well as other CD's do. My dressing is confined to our home so "Our saftey" isn't a concern for us.

    #12 She knows everthing except about this website as I don't know how she'd react knowing I talk to other CD's she might take as a form of cheating on her so to speak. The last thing I want to do is hurt the most wonderful woman in the world to me. So if keeping a little secret aids me in doing that so be it.
    Hugs and kisses Brenda

  22. #22
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    10) Gg's have no fear of me and I'm sure there is no jealousy.
    11) As for opinions my GG friends are always complimenting me and never give me a bad review. Hopefully my sisters here will give me the truth when I ask, without hurting me too much. Of course I'm smart enough not to ask.
    12) Both of my exes were unaccepting so everything was hidden from them.
    Put a little lipstick on you'll feel better

  23. #23
    Mina minalost's Avatar
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    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    Weird question. I've never though, let alone posted, anything of the sort. My wife doesn't understand my desire to use makeup because she doesn't use any, but that's something I've never translated as jealousy. I'm too tall, too hairy, and too clumsy - so why would ANY GG be Jealous of ME?

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern

    All good points. My "sisters" voice and opinions on these things are NOT more valid than my wifes. That being said, my "sisters" opinions on things that do not affect both myself and my wife or our relationship MIGHT be more valid just because of our shared experiances. Just like my wife's opinion regarding my other hobbies that she doesn't share MAY not be as valid and other hobbiests. Note the "mights" and "mays;" these things are always situational.

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?

    This assumes she is accepting. She's not - but she's getting better at understanding my side of it. I hide specific details because she doesn't really want to know. The same thing that applies to "other hobbies" above applies here. Just like she doesn't tell me all the minute details of her day to day activities. This is something, however, that we both need to work on. I think that better communication and total honesty is a better policy. But it's hard to break the habit of a lifetime...
    Mina Lost aka Lynda

  24. #24
    Formerly Deborah Whitney
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    We have Week 4 of our GG's questions! Thanks in advance for your help all.

    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?
    I only have a "real" answer for #12, but here's 10: I don't post these kinds of thoughts, because it'd never occur to me that girls would be jealous of me. Trust me, I'm just an ugly guy in a dress... and here's 11: not sure validity-wise, frankly I'm afraid to ask my wife about a lot of this stuff, related to my cross-dressing. I suppose I lend credence to other CDs' answers because many of them are echoing my own thoughts.

    And now for 12: I'm having this very difficulty now. In the past, my wife was really accepting of my crossdressing, and she still is, as far as I know. I guess I just can't see how she can be so accepting, since I can't seem to accept it myself much of the time. I quit crossdressing around two years ago, and in the past few months I have fallen back into the "hobby". I've mentioned it to my wife, and she still seems accepting of it ... and I just can't understand. It's not destructive to our relationship, except when I allow it to be... so what's the problem?

    BTW I typed all of this before reading the other responses, just to get it down ... thanks all for reading this!

  25. #25
    Truth, Love, Freedom Angiemead12's Avatar
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    10) Do you really believe that GGs are jealous of your looks and feel threatened by you, or do you post these thoughts just because it is a fun thing to do?

    yes, jealous because I dont have a period, or cellulite on my thighs, or that i have loooong legs. no because Im a man with a flat chest and a small behind.

    11) Why is your "SISTERS" voice and opinions more valid than that of your partner, after all it is in our interest that when you go out you look as good as possible, that you are comfortable in what you are wearing for that situation that you do not draw attention to "US", "OUR" safety should be "OUR" concern

    I value my partners comments the most.

    12) Even though your SO knows and is accepting of your CDing why do you still hide aspects of your CDing from her?

    i dont hide anything anymore!

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