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Thread: Do you dress or go out when you travel on business?

  1. #1
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    Do you dress or go out when you travel on business?

    Hi girls,

    I first started really progressing with my female persona when I started traveling on business about 3 years ago. A little more than a year ago I came out to my wife. About 6 months ago my traveling stopped and now I sleep in my own bed most nights.

    There are some major advantages to not traveling but there are draw backs. When I traveled I had more time to think and write and to chat online. I also used to dress and go out a lot on the road.

    I'm going to be in Atlanta this Wednesday night and all of sudden I have this major erg to sneak some clothes and makeup in my luggage and go out when I'm there.

    What should I do?

    Kisses,

    Allie

  2. #2
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    Allie, as long as your wife doesn't mind (and I know she's pretty tolerant), then by all means - let Allie play!

    Where does the "sneaking" come in?

    Kathi

  3. #3
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    The sneaking would be because my wife wouldn't know. She doesn't want me to go out without her. She has been great but I still don't get out as much as I'd like to. I really want to go out.

    Am I being stupid or wanting to go out?

    Kisses,

    Allie

  4. #4
    Cougar in hiding kymmieLorain's Avatar
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    On the few business trips I have been on. I only dressed in my room. I wasn't really CDing much at the time of the trips.

    Kymmie
    Just your average harley riding crossdressing biker

    Why be normal??????

  5. #5
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    Smile Definitely Go for It !!

    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSummers View Post
    Hi girls,

    I first started really progressing with my female persona when I started traveling on business about 3 years ago. A little more than a year ago I came out to my wife. About 6 months ago my traveling stopped and now I sleep in my own bed most nights.

    There are some major advantages to not traveling but there are draw backs. When I traveled I had more time to think and write and to chat online. I also used to dress and go out a lot on the road.

    I'm going to be in Atlanta this Wednesday night and all of sudden I have this major erg to sneak some clothes and makeup in my luggage and go out when I'm there.

    What should I do?

    Kisses,

    Allie
    Femme stuff is so light, you owe it to yourself to take your
    treats, you may decide later if you dare to venture out dressed.
    Keep up your efforts; you look like you'll pass thru the night!


  6. #6
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    No you are not wrong to want to go out. Talk to your spouse about it, but be sensitive to her concerns. I think you will gain brownie points with her by being open. Sounds like you have a great marriage, be careful with embracing the 'dark side'. Terms like 'sneaking' should be a waring sign. Think of Robot in "Lost in Space" .... 'Warning .... Danger ..... Danger !"

    Kelly
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  7. #7
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    Yes, why would we have to sneak around our signif.others?

    Good work yourself, Kathi, i do so like your Style!

  8. #8
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSummers View Post
    The sneaking would be because my wife wouldn't know. She doesn't want me to go out without her.
    Ah. I had seen pictures of the two of you together and that's why I assumed a large level of support from her.

    What you're suggesting is to take that trust you've built together and possibly bash it to pieces because you want to have looser boundaries than you already have. Ouch! That's a tough call. I know as well as you do the siren call of dressing (though you're much cuter! ), but I also know that sneaking around barriers that have been agreed upon is, while not a recipe for disaster, it is a least a list of ingredients for disaster (bad analogy, perhaps. I'm tired.).

    Allie, go slow on this. If you feel it is time to move the goalposts, talk with your wife about the boundaries, her needs, your needs, and see if you can meet in the middle. And yes, I know how hard of a talk that can be. I also know how worth it it can be.

    Kathi

  9. #9
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    I agree with what Kathy and others have said. You have her acceptance and even participation. Why risk lo9sing the trust that is there?

  10. #10
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    when I used to travel by car a lot, I would always take a lot of clothesand go out to the local T-clubs in the evening---I don't travel so much now and mostly its by air so I dont dress away on business---

    as far as sneaking without your wife knowing about it---because you know it would upset her---I guess that' s really up to you---if you have an otherwise good relationship with your spouse and want to stay married, it wouldn't be wise to jeopardize it--on the other hand if you dont have such a good relationship and you feel you want to "be free" then maybe so--but may be the better idea is to be up front with her about your doing it--is the reason she doesn't you to dress and go out without her because she thinks that would lead you to becoming involved with other people? and does she have a good reason to think that or is she being insecure and paranoid?--

    and if you have fantasies of being with other people, but don't want to do it because of fidelty issues with your wife, then taking your wardrobe on the road is really playing with fire---think about it--you dressed to the nines,full face makeup, perfect hair, and going to the nearest cd bar with a hotel room available to you and whoever--that really is playing with fire if you want to stay in a monogamous relationship---If, on the other hand, you just want to put on a pair of girl jeans, makeup, etc and spend an hour cruising the local mall maybe that's not so tempting. what ever you decide to do, good luck
    [SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

  11. #11
    Member Michelle Charles's Avatar
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    I too agree with the other girls who've commented. You are in a unique position of having a supportive spouse. Boundaries are good for marriages, most things in life work having can be negotiated, but you are risking all the good things by actually being dishonest and going out. Tell her you want to dress in atlanta, give her details of what you want to do there, where you'll be going, who you'll be with and gain her trust and permission. If she says no, abide by that and talk well in advance of your next trip. ost spouses are afraid of being outed at home or to friends and family locally. Honesty is a key here!
    Michelle

  12. #12
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    Start packing For Two !!

    Hi Allie

    I think you allready know the answer don't you ??

    Just do it.

    Orchid

  13. #13
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    traveling tina

    A couple of years ago I was traveling to a meeting for a week. I realized that I had to be my male self at the professional meeting, but once I walked into that hotel room there was no reason to continue being masculine. So, Tina's shoes were next to the door, and as soon I walked into the room off went the boy shoes, and on went Tina's. Since there was no one there, I could instantly change perspective and Tina came to life. Since then, any time I travel I take enough for Tina to exist for the week, including those lovely 5" clogs that Tina can put on instantly! They also come off instantly when "he" needs to walk out of the hotel room. It is lovely Tina-time, but it is also bittersweet, in that I am without my wife for a week. So, although it's great to be able to be Tina, I'd rather have my wife with me hands down!

    As to "sneaking" out, it is playing with fire, and getting burnt is inevitable. If you plan to go out, you might as well start planning for the fire.

    They go together.

    tina

  14. #14
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    Sneak some clothes in the luggage and go out. You can always find someone to show you where to go while you are there. Maybe the meetup group there just like yours in Dallas.

    I just started a meetup group here in Denver so if you ever make it this way look us up because I would be extremely interested in going to dinner with you at the least.

    P.S. Hopefully when I finally figure out my plans for Dallas later this month, we can meet.
    Michelle

  15. #15
    Fashionista VeronicaMoonlit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSummers View Post
    The sneaking would be because my wife wouldn't know. She doesn't want me to go out without her.
    Question....why doesn't she want you to go out without her? Is it still reverberations from the trust issue following the revelation of your CDing?

    She has been great but I still don't get out as much as I'd like to. I really want to go out.
    Then tell her, directly. But don't go out behind her back, you agreed on those boundaries.

    Am I being stupid or wanting to go out?
    No, but you shouldn't have agreed to the "don't go out without me" boundary if you didn't really want to. I know I know, it was part of the "She's not killing me after she found out/I told her...I'll agree to anything" routine, but still.

    Veronica Rogers
    If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
    Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member Blaire's Avatar
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    "Sneak" and "Happily Married" don't go hand in hand. Some of the responses already here will tell you that.

    It's easy enough - just ask. A straight up and simple, "Would you be upset if I took some Allie things along on the trip?"
    Life is simple math: Expectations - Realisations = Disappointments.
    Tell ya what... I won't be too easily annoying, if you won't be too easily annoyed!
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  17. #17
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    Maybe I should have read more carefully about what you were proposing. Without telling your wife with those boundaries, I think you would be risking more than just a good time. In that sense, I have to change my opinion and vote no to sneaking clothes into the suitcase.
    Michelle

  18. #18
    New Member June Laine's Avatar
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    Smile Business Travel

    Yes,

    I dress in the hotel room, I get some me time to experiment with makup and lurk the forums and take some pictures to share with the wife. Any time I can dresisa good time

  19. #19
    New Member Kirra_Moon's Avatar
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    Usually when I go out on business its with a group of coworkers. I've dressed in the room once, but i wouldn't dare to step outside. If one of my coworkers found out I may not get fired but the fallout would probably make me quit.

  20. #20
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    Allie...I have to agree with Kathi here. I know the urge, but also respect your boundaries with your wife. True she'd never know, BUT, do you really want to go down that path? Besides, look at it this way....when you do get to dress, it'll be more special because it'll be with someone special to you.

  21. #21
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    whenever I travel, I carry two bags, one for business with my male clothes (little bag) and a little suitcase with the female clothes that I've choosen for a trip, usually two pair of shoes, about 5-8 skirts, and other stuff. Yes I take advantage of traveling and dress a lot. I usually spend a day or two completely en femme, I check in dressed up and I check out dressed up, it feels great. My wife is not supportive but she knows, because every time I come back, she talks about my positive facial expression, and than she says, 'I know...but I don't want to hear about it'.

  22. #22
    Paula Siemen Paula Siemen's Avatar
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    I've dressed as Paula and gone out while on a business trip. My trips were usullay no more thawn one over night stay so the ability to pack Paula's things required forward thinking of what outfit to wear and being very efficient in my packing. I was able to pack the next day's drab clothes along with Paula's p[urese, dress, lingerie and night gown, one pair of heels, makeup purse, and wig all in one typical, airline under seat bag. Do you really think you can get those under the seat????
    Anyway, I'd fly into the city of my appointment in drab, take care of business then go to the hotel and change. Then I'd go down to the bar, have a cocktail and off to a resturant for dinner. After dinner, maybe another bar or seek out the TG or Lesbian bar for a little meeting of others or back to the hotel bar for a night cap.
    First time I did this, I actually damaged the rental car by hitting a steel post in a parking lot. No I wasn't drunk, post post was just short and not visible from the driver's seat and I hit it while backing out and turning. Fortunately, since the company required us to rent the cars under our own name and insurance, this did not become a problem for my employer.

    I suppose my wife knew I was taking Paula along on my trips eventhough I was descrete in my packing, doing it while she was not around and unpacking as well. She once asked me if I was taking my feminine products with me as I was leaving???

    Anyway, other than the minor auto incident, I never had any problems when Paula accompanied me on my business trips. Just watgch the driving and parking.

    Have fun and be caqrefull,
    Paula

  23. #23
    Member Chrissie P's Avatar
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    I always dress when I travel. It's the only way to go!

    I have developed friendships in two different cities and I have a very enjoyable time. It's fun to just have a drink or two with a like minded gal, or a nice date with a man. Just be careful and be very selective.
    " Don't get in the way of my mood swing !"

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSummers View Post
    The sneaking would be because my wife wouldn't know. She doesn't want me to go out without her. She has been great but I still don't get out as much as I'd like to. I really want to go out.

    Am I being stupid or wanting to go out?

    Kisses,

    Allie
    You're not being stupid for wanting to go out. Where there's a failing is in the sneaking part.

    Be honest, be open. Your wife is your partner, not your adversary.

  25. #25
    Chickie Chickhe's Avatar
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    If she already knows and goes out with you, then I assume she is fine with the CDing and her being with you is just a preference. Could be an insecurity too that you will attract some undesired attention. Anyhow, I would do what you want, but keep her in the loop if you can.
    Chickie

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