Why? What drives you to CD?

[IloveNancy]

I am a GG and deeply in love with my CDing boyfriend. His CDing has it's roots in sexual arousal and "escape". From what I understand, there's a variety of reasons men cross-dress. In my pursuit to understand this part of him, I have always been curious to know about the other motivators/drives for CDing.
I think it is easy for CDing to be labeled as something to do with sex and sexuality, but it seems much deeper and more complex than that. I would truly appreciate any feedback, ideas and feelings that anyone is willing to share.

[Crissy Kay]

I belive a lot of us MtF cds do it to escape the stress on our male sides at times. Thats true with me to a small extent. Threre are a lot of other reasons too. I am sure you can read more here and on other sites too. Good Luck.

[suchacutie]

For me it's actually quite simple. I had been carrying around this feminine part of me and 5 years ago, with the help of a wonderful wife, Tina suddenly (and do mean suddenly) came to life. We went from "normal" me to me and Tina in under 2 days! Why is Tina still with us? How can anyone not want to understand who they are? After 55 years of not knowing her, it was pretty obvious to us that Tina has always played a part of my life, and we want to know her! It's one heck of an adventure finding out who a part of you has always been, and just what she might be now that we have begun to know her and let her be herself!

Tina!!

[LisaM]

My earliest memories are of wanting to be a girl. I remember going to bed at night and getting down on my knees and praying that I would wake up as a girl.

I don't really know why I felt that way but I did. I also remember that I always wanted long hair like the girls I knew from school and I wanted to play with Barbies or with miniature houses. This was way before puberty when I was 5 to 7.

It felt normal to want to try on female clothes feeling the way I did but I also knew that I was supposed to be a boy.

Guilt and shame really didn't rear its head until puberty when when my body began to react to my dreams and dressing in ways that I was embarrassed and horrified about.

I hope this helps although it is just one of many stories.

[Heisthebride]

I'm a part time CD and have asked myself this question a lot. There are many individual elements: sexuality, escapism, simple joy, trying new things (waxing, manicure) challenge of putting it all together. All of these and more come into play.

For me I have accepted it as a hobby. I just like it. I also like golf but I'd have a hard time explaining why, It can be a very frustrating game. Other peole like to hunt and fish but I don't. I think everyone has there own reasons.

I'm glad to hear from so many accepting GGs.

[audreyinalbany]

I think it's pretty normal for cd impluses to start in a very sexual way. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think most of us crossdressers started out (well, no, I guess I shouldn't say "started out". since I started crossdressing long before I had any inkling about sexuality or orgasms), but, let's say "went through a stage" (usually in the twenties and thirties) where crossdressing was very sexual, where dressing frequently ended in masturbation. But, as time has gone by, it has lost some of the sexual allure and become an activity...I hesitate to say 'hobby,' but maybe that's not a bad way to put it. I realize that for many, it is much more than that, but for me, it is kind of an enjoyable compulsion, and while it still sometimes ends in masturbation, that is no longer the primary focus behind my dressing.

[suzy1]

I think I am one of many here that simply don’t know. It is just a part of us. It’s who we are.
Sorry, not much help am I.

SUZY

[AKAMichelle]

For me it started out with a sexual component in my teens. Most things in my teens was related to sex for that matter, but as I aged that changed. For some it is a lot more related to a woman trapped in a man's body, but that isn't me. The questions you need to figure out pertaining to your boyfriend is where he fits on the spectrum. That will tell you where he is and possibily heading.

[Deborah Jane]

I guess this is the $6,000,000 question

Unfortunately I don't have the answer to it!!

Simply that I dress because I do

[Abbey Lane]

Well this is nice that you are doing this to help understand your BF position. Well since i was like 5 years old I just loved the feel of stockings( back then) and then tried them on with corsets and garter belts then that lead to bras. For about 4 years when I was in the military all my cravings lessened. But once I got back home I would wear my moms clothes. Then got married and wore her clothes. Now remarried and I have my wardrobe which is hidden. I haven't dressed in like 2-3 weeks but today took everything out. I wanted to get rid of some stuff. It was hard to do but with 5 boxes of items and like 9 pair of shoes and 9 dresses. Some where it just gets to much to hide any longer. So at least you can deal with his urges. I do it because now it relieves stress and I just feel good. I never want to become a woman just like to dress like one. But only till about 3 months ago after like 45 plus years of dressing I wore make up and wow what a thrill. Can't wait to do it again. But enjoy each others company.

[RADER]

[QUOTE=LisaM;2173096]
It felt normal to want to try on female clothes feeling the way I did but I also knew that I was supposed to be a boy.
[QUOTE]

Much the same for me also; I LOVE women, love my wife deeply, But I
want to feel like what they are. If that makes sense. My wife says I am a
very thought full man, never forgetting her likes and dislikes. I guess I
treat her like a Queen, and I should. But CDing just lets me get a little
closer inside her, trying to feel what she feels everyday.
Yes I love corsets, she does not, and many other things. But that only
leads to enhance the feeling of being like a woman for a short time.
NO I will not stop being a man, nor go for any type of sex change. I just
want to dress-up and feel good. Rader

[AlisonRenee]

My earliest memories are of wanting to be a girl. I remember going to bed at night and getting down on my knees and praying that I would wake up as a girl... I don't really know why I felt that way but I did. I also remember that I... wanted to play with Barbies or with miniature houses. This was way before puberty when I was 5 to 7.

Me too. It began for me at four, finding my sister's swimsuit, putting it on, and even in my college drug-and-alcohol-experimenting years I never had such a rush. Not sexual, more like "oh, so THAT'S who I am". I always preferred playing with the neighborhood girls, their games. I have overly-feminine emotional traits sometimes and that made me extremely fair game for the boys to pick on.

Why do I dress? It's waaayyy beyond any kind of sexual thrill, it's more like finding a moment of personal peace with myself.

[Cheryl James]

I have an indelible memory of a day when I was almost four. I was sent to my neighbor's apartment as she was my babysitter at times when my parents had other obligations. I distinctly remember, this was confirmed by my mother several years later, arriving and taking my clothes off and asking, demanding?, to be allowed to wear some of her daughter's clothes. Apparently, this was my "normal" behavior when I was sent to this lady. At nearly four years old, sex could not have been the motivation. I think that I believed that I was, or should have been, a girl. Those feelings have lasted my whole life no matter how much I have fought them. Sex really isn't the issue for me. It is the feeling that I am free to be the real me for a time.

[Kaz]

I so wish I could explain it... I have spent many years trying to deny it, excuse it, research it, live with it? I have now decided to live with it. It isn't going away and I have wasted so much of my life trying to *sort it out" and dealing with the fallout.

Am I gay... no
Do I love my partner less... no, in fact lots more...
Does it change the way I want my relationship with my partner to be... hmmm, this is the biggy! Do I share Kaz with her?. Read the threads and you will see the debate!

I would like me to be both him and Kaz. In Kaz mode I find it difficult to mow the lawn and fix the plumbing. As a grandfather, I also need to play a senior male role model. I also like my job, which is role model based...

Yeah, it is complex...

My SO is away and I am sat in our dining room as Kaz... I have been dressed like her all day... and it is getting late but I do not want this to stop. I love it!

And tomorrow it will end and I will have to boring conventional again.

I hope there are some insights in here, rather than it just being a rant...

Kaz xx

[Ashley S]

I'm also in the "I do it because I like it" group.

I don't have an explanation any deeper than that. Presently, I don't think I'll ever want to transition, but I'm young, and my feelings are subject to change.

[sissystephanie]

I am a GG and deeply in love with my CDing boyfriend. His CDing has it's roots in sexual arousal and "escape". From what I understand, there's a variety of reasons men cross-dress. In my pursuit to understand this part of him, I have always been curious to know about the other motivators/drives for CDing.
I think it is easy for CDing to be labeled as something to do with sex and sexuality, but it seems much deeper and more complex than that. I would truly appreciate any feedback, ideas and feelings that anyone is willing to share.

First of all, Bless You for being accepting of his CD desires! GG's like you are way too few and far between. I was lucky, I married one and had her for almost 50 years before cancer took her!!

I really don't know about any depth or complexity of my CD'ing. I started out wearing panties when I was about 6 years old, because I like the fit and the feel of them. When I was 9 a doctor recomended that I wear a bra because I had large, for a boy of that age, breasts. Except for my time in the military I have worn a bra ever since then!

I have never wanted to actually be a woman, even if it was foir a sexual reason. I am a man, and happy to be one. I just like to wear woman's clothing!! I still like the fit, feel, and look of most all feminine clothing. I told my late wife before we married, and as I said she accepted me "as is!" We had a great time together, as I was her husband, her lover and father of our children, and also her best girl friend!! We went out many times as two girls. Of course, she always fixed my wig and did my makeup because I was not good at either. Now that she is gone, I still go out dressed but with no wig or makeup. Just a guy in a skirt. And I don't get any comments, unless you count compliments on my outfits!!

I hope you two enjoy each other for a long time!!!

[carhill2mn]

Hi, how refreshing that you are trying to learn more about CDing and to try to understand about it. Sadly, many CDs themselves, do not understand and have a terrible time trying to handle it. Therefore, it is easy to understand why others also have a difficult time.

You are right in sensing that CDing is not about sex and sexuality (usually) although that is a very common belief. Sexual orientation is one thing. The "love" of things deemed to be feminine is another. Another whole subject is that of boys who are sure that they were born in the wrong body and need to become girls.

There have been many theories proposed about "why" someone is a "CD". The truth is no one really knows. What seems to be the most reasonable theory at the moment is that our brains are, in some way, "wired" to enjoy/want/need these experiences. There is no "one size fits all" explanation just as there is great variation among CDs as people.

These variations, themselves, cause much of the confusion. The public is often told about "Drag Queens" as they tend to be more sensational thus attract the media's attention. They are often performers and usually do not present the attractive parts of feminity. A great many CDs are trying to emulate the finer qualities of womanhood/femininity.

There are males that dress as women because the experience is sexually stimulating to them. Often this stimulation will lessen or disappear as the CD gets older, has more experience as a CD and/or has a stronger desire to present as a lovely lady.

Again, as you have recognized, this is a very complex phenomenon that is only gradually being understood.

This is a real part of who/what your BF is. Learn, understand and try to have fun with it.

[Michaela42]

Well, to be honest I have always identified more with females than males. I believe you would need a biochemical biology degree and a degree in human development to understand it deeper (and if you know of someone with such a degrees, please send them my way). While it is true that most of my friends growing up were female we did not do 'girly' things. Nearly every one of them were tomboys to a degree. I remember being confused about why when they had the opportunity to wear a pretty dress and fancy shoes they fought it (something that still bugs me about some females).

For me CDing is a bit of a release and all that, but it is also something I really enjoy. Sure, I am not the most passable gal out there, but I still love to try on just about anything clothing wise that was designed or intended for a female.
Hope this rambling helps!

[Pattie O]

I believe CDing is far more complex than the stereotypical idea that it is only sexually based as I felt the need/desire/ to dress at a very young age(4-5 yo) and admittedly I do become aroused during some dressing sessions but often I prefer to just be a women and enjoy all the finer elements of being female eg make up ;hair ;accessories and this helps me relax and feel centred for some reason.

[Charleen]

Why? Because I must. Since I first walked, or tried to walk, in my mom's high heels at the age of 4, I must. By the time I hit puberty, I fit in my mom's clothes and yes I got aroused.
Oh, I've stopped on occasion, in college, the service, but 55 years after getting into those high heels I'm still at it.
Why? Because I have always felt that I was born with the wrong plumbing.
Why? Bacause woman's clothes feel correct.

[Barbara Dugan]

I really don't know yet it I belive it can be from the simple reason to the more complex..but is so much fun that sometimes make no sense to figure it.

[Blake Lively]

What can I say. I get off on wearing lingerie and high heel shoes. Call it a fetish if you will. I especially like the feel of a pair of thigh high stockings on my legs. Top it off with 5 inch heels and there you go.

Blake

[Marcia Blue]

[SIZE="3"]I also starting dressing at the age of 4 or 5. I started with lipstick and makeup. This could not have been a sexual thing at that age. I always have loved the feel of womens clothes and makeup. Later in life the urges all seemed to go with highly stressful times. Now that my wife is in the know, I seem very contented. I do not feel as much guilt with my dressing, even though my wife is tolerant of my hobby. Guilt still haunts me and that I still am working on. This may not explain the why, but that really is the 64K dollar question.[/SIZE]

[cdgail]

I've been a cd since I was 13 and frist put on my mon's garterbetl and stockings, wow how wounderful and silky they felt on my legs and what a feeling I got inside of me. Those feelings have not changed and I'm 58 now. I don't know why I feel like I do but I know I have to dress and feel soft and feminine.

My mom's once she got over the shock of seeing me in her lingerie, became my bigest supporter and when my dad was on business trips helped me dress and put on make-up, she even told my wife about me and with her help my wife supports me as a cd.

With the help of my mom and my wife, I will always be a cd and feel feminine and soft when I'm not having to be in the male world.

[Elle1946]

It is my feminine side expressing itself. My wife understands and is OK with it and even helps me shop.