Ok, I'm not really sure how to start this off so ill just jump right in on it.
With out giving much away, I am a soldier and a rather big guy. Standing 6'2" barefoot and wieghing in at around 230 Lbs, I have a very solid build. Trouble of it is this, my body build makes it very hard for me to pull off a strong female look when im taller and bigger than even average males. Never mind the posture that is ingrained in me as a soldier. How ever as I prep for my second combat tour, I am wanting to get out in public as Emily and unfortuantly I only have a few more days to get the nerve up to do so. I REALLY want to do this, and I know there is no reasonable cause for me to be overly concerned with what other people think when I know I will never ever see them again, but it bothers me greatly. Hiding my frame isnt to hard with the use of flowey, loose clothes to break up my outline, but any crash course in tactical camo will tell ya that (Army training in use in a way they never imagined lol) make-up still evades me though im slowly getting a hold on it. My voice is a lost cause as is trying to "move as a lady" but oddly enough as self-consiouse as i am that doesnt bother me. It's just getting the nerve up to just take that step out the door in heels and a skirt and wig and make-up ect ect. And its not like anyone doesnt know. My mom knows and is very supportive, two of my best friends from high school know and are cool with it. I guess to sum up my incoherent rambling I'll leave with one question.
Anybody have any advice as to how I can overcome this mental brickwall in my mind and just get out there.
Soory for the rambling anture of this but if any clarification is needed please ask.