Is there a connection..crossdressing and being submissive?

[BRANDYJ]

I wonder how many of us that are crossdressers happen to also consider themselves submissive to GG's..or want to be submissive to a GG. I see this as a common thread from those that identify as being submissive.

I could just as easily ask this same question at another site, similar to this site but for those mainly interested in Dominant/submissive relationships. Over there it seems to be fairly prevalent. I have also seen this connection at various other sites. And no, I am not talking about porn sites. I mean other sites that deal with alternate lifestyles such as we share here.

For me, I developed my interest and desire to become a submissive to a dominant woman later in life. To explain how or why is another story.
That was maybe 10 years ago. Prior to then, I never in my life gave any thought about anything related to BDSM, the umbrella term that dominance/submission falls under. And I hate that it does since most BDSM is not my cup of tea or is way to far out for me to consider.

I think my interest is born out of my deep respect, admiration and love of women due to my personal path as a crossdresser since age 10 or so.

Like many late blooming CD's, it was a learning experience. From just wanting it to be a part time kink or bedroom play, to my now living in a 24/7 relationship with a woman that is truly a dominant person. Kind of like she wears the pants in the family.

Look around. Ever notice how many CD's like to dress in maids uniforms?
It kind of goes with the territory of service to a dominant woman. I'm sure not in all cases.

It's not a case of all CD's being submissive, or all submissive men being a CD. But I feel that many CD's are interested in being submissive to a GG. In some cases, maybe even to a man. Everything from just fantasy play to 24/7 relationships.

For our GG's.... Does the idea of your CD being submissive to you have any appeal? Like having him/her clean house, do the laundry, give massages, pedicures, manicures and simply and lovingly obey your every wish.

I would think this interest is less prevalent among our transitioning members, but perhaps rather an interest or fantasy of our CD's.

[Karentv]

Hi babe,
to be honest, being sub to a GG doesn't appeal at all to me but the idea of being accepted as slightly submissive to a man does! I'm not talking in terms of being a slave or pushed around but just being more accepting that a man is the stronger and more dominant ego in my world.
If I were to have a friendship/relationship with a GG then I'd want it on equal terms...

Just my tuppence worth!!

Karen x

[Loni]

me a submissive type..no way. no how, no matter how i am dressed.

.

[GBNatarii]

I am extremely submissive around both sexes in lots of random situations, even a lot of ones that are in no way sexual.

But, I do not feel it is because of crossdressing. I mean, over half the time I'm CD'ing, I'm aiming to be the confident girl who does her own thing, ya know? So for me at least, it's not really related to the CD'ing at all.

[Deborah Jane]

Submissive?
Me?
No chance........I'd sooner swim with Great White Sharks than become submissive to anyone!!

[Sheila]

For our GG's.... Does the idea of your CD being submissive to you have any appeal? Like having him/her clean house, do the laundry, give massages, pedicures, manicures and simply and lovingly obey your every wish.

Not for this GG .............. I like the partnership we have, we discuss most things, sometimes she leads sometimes I lead but most times we walk and do things together ............ I have no interest in being dominant or submissive to any body least of all to my partner

[BRANDYJ]

Now Debs and Sheila, somehow I already knew that about you two.

Hi babe,
to be honest, being sub to a GG doesn't appeal at all to me but the idea of being accepted as slightly submissive to a man does! I'm not talking in terms of being a slave or pushed around but just being more accepting that a man is the stronger and more dominant ego in my world.
If I were to have a friendship/relationship with a GG then I'd want it on equal terms...

Just my tuppence worth!!

Karen x

I know many think of D/s as someone being pushed around But that is not the case. Many D/s relationships are very caring, very loving and both the dominant one and the submissive one share on an equal basis. Both getting out of it what they desire, need and want.

If I felt I was being pushed around, I'd be out of there.

[tammygirl79]

I am a little more submissive as a woman. As a man I am neither submissive or dominent, I act differently depending on the woman I am with. If she is a more dominent kind of woman, then i will be more submissive. If she is a more of a submissive type of a woman, then I will be a little more dominent. But by nature, I am submissive more on the submissive side regardless of what sex i am being. I hope that made sense? lol.

[Deborah Jane]

Not for this GG .............. I like the partnership we have, we discuss most things, sometimes she leads sometimes I lead but most times we walk and do things together ............ I have no interest in being dominant or submissive to any body least of all to my partner

This is not strictly true, She just told me I can't have a Husky [dog]

[Lorileah]

One thing that concerns me about this theory is that it makes the assumption that female=submissive in the eyes of those that follow the CD as a sub concept.

Is it a chicken or egg thing? I am sure there are plenty of people here who started out dressing as a submissive gesture. Some even thought they had to be sub to dress (hello, my name is Lori and I fit that description). And yes there are some who use dressing and submission to let the real world go when we have to "be" something all day and we really don't want to be that.

Being a sub is an interesting concept. One that many people think they would enjoy. Some do, most will find the concept much better than the reality.

It would really depend on what your definition of being a sub is. It can be fun for role playing. Not so much when you are treated like dirt all the time. If being "sub" means you like to have someone cater to you then most of us will like that at least sometimes. I like being pampered, having someone by me dinner maybe even make the decision what to order. I like to play the timid, shy, naive belle. I love the thought of not having the will to fight. BUT I find that this isn't more than a one night at a time thing and I am a controlling witch in reality. I could never be the Donna Reed/June Cleaver housewife. Even being that submissive loses luster quickly

[BRANDYJ]

It makes sense to me Tammy. In my previous marriage I was always the more dominant one. I can see where we can be either dominant or submissive depending on who we are with.
In my work and social life, I am neither submissive or dominant too. My submission is a gift to only one woman. If anything, i have had to be rather dominant in the work force since I have always held management positions.

What!!!!!! No Husky dog? Sheila is such a hard stern dominant. Don't protest to much or she will make you do corner time Debs!

[Deborah Jane]

Right that's settled, I'm going to get the Husky

Right after I finish my swim with the Great Whites

[minalost]

I think of myself as flexable - I can (and am) ether dominant or submissive as the situation requires.

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Lori,
I agree and tried to convey that it means and is something different for everyone. From 24/7 to an "every now and then play thing"
But I can assure you of one thing, this man does not view women as submissive or even the weaker sex. Quite the opposite in fact. I thought I made that clear in my original post. My desire to serve the woman I love is out of total respect, admiration and love for her. She is the strongest woman I have ever known. I happen to like strong intelligent women. So this works for us and we could not be happier.
So yes, it depends on what each person would consider being submissive. My SO being the one in charge works for the both of us. I've never known a more loving, caring, open and honest relationship then I am blessed to have with her.

[Nicole Erin]

Submissive?
I think not.

I would rather be the dominant one.

[ReineD]

There's a fetish thread in the MtF where so many fantasies are related to some form of submission. It's a theme I've seen over and over again in this forum.

I wish I could find it, but there was a study done of hundreds of CDs that showed a high correlation with CDing and sexual submission. Not saying that every CD wants to be submissive, just that there are an awful lot who do.

If I find the study I'll come back and post a link to it.

[Kate Simmons]

I think like anything else, it just comes down to personal preference.

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Reine,
I am aware that it is a popular sexual fantasy (sexual submission). But for some of us it goes beyond just sexual. Just like crossdressing goes beyond sexual fetish.

Now if we include all males it is still a very popular sexual fetish. Ever look around to see how many so called Pro Dominatrix's there are? They would not be making a living if there was just a few men interested in sexual domination. And my understanding is that most of them will not have sex with a client. Go figure. But a pro is something I'd never waste my time or money on. Same gores for a call girl or hooker. No interest what so ever. In fact...YUK!

[Jess81CD]

Everyone's different. I'd like to be seen as equal as opposed to submissive to a woman. Sexually speaking i'm actually quite dominant.

[tinalynn]

Interesting thread! I go both ways - dominant when not dressed but submissive when dressed. Actually, I met my wife because of the DS part of BDSM. I'll avoid the bedroom talk, but will say that when dressed I'll do whatever she wants done. That usually means cleaning the kitchen, baking, and sometimes cleaning the rest of the house. She is not dominant, so won't be that way (never happens when I've been dressed, anyway). I keep trying to get her to demand more from me, but in vain. No worries, I get to dress when I want (mostly), so I don't push it at all.

[BRANDYJ]

Reine, maybe this is the thread you were thinking of. It is part of what we call BDSM. It's about bondage/crossdressing. Nine pages total. It is a closed thread, but I read some of the posts and the general consensus is that there is a connection for many when it comes to bondage at least. D/s was often mentioned.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ght=submissive

[AKAMichelle]

Definitely not me. I am extremely alpha male and dominant in my relationships. I don't like taking orders from anybody.

[Schatten Lupus]

I doubt there are any real correlations. Being submissive sexually and around the house are two different things. What may seem as being submissive around the house might be due to house chores being typically a woman's things, so it could the appeal of doing something of the female role. It also goes for being submissive in general. A submissive female, although dying, is still a stereotype which might fuel the submissiveness of some transgender MtF.
As far as being sexually submissive, like any other fetish, it just varies from person to person.
Myself, I do alot of housework, but that is because if I don't, then it doesn't get done (which I'm starting to get tired of). But all my life I have had a problem with being submissive. My dad beat me with his belt a few times, some school trouble, and a handful of write-ups because I have a problem with authority. Not in the since that I am always fighting the law, but in the since that if it came down to submit or die, I would choose death.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm thinking that our marriage doesn't have a dom-sub subtext, so I don't really know how that would work. In the rest of my life I usually try to be cooperative and enabling to others, primarily because I'm lazy and if I can get them to handle stuff, I can sit. Sometimes, however I end up being the one in control because no one else wants it and there is no good way out of it. I do okay.

May I leave the thread now Mistress?

[Barbara_MacKenzie]

Hi Brandy,
I agree with your sentiments. I am naturally submissive, but not in a servile way. My wife tends to take the lead in many issues and I'm comfortable enough in myself that I'm quite happy with the situation. I too admire and respect strong women, I can't be their alpha male even if I wanted to, I'm just not hard wired for it.

I know very little about BDSM and can't see myself pursuing an interest in it. I do enjoy being the domesticated one in our partnership and I am happy to clean the house and do the washing and ironing.

There may well be a strong correlation between Cd'ing and (gently) submissive behaviour but I have no empirical data to support this hunch.

You are quite right to differentiate our behaviour from any reference to women being kept in a 1950's kind of repression. I'm happy to let my wife wear the pants, does that demean me - I don't think so. I try and be the best partner I can to my wife, we've been married nearly 30 years btw.
Barabra