While those of us who get out in public to whatever degree are discovering there is more tolerance out there than some think, the plain fact of life is that to be a crossdresser is to be marginalized. Tolerance is one thing, acceptance quite another. This is true within the gay community nearly as much as mainstream society when trying to cultivate a network of friends or seeking romance.
The odds of a single crossdresser finding an accepting GG are slightly better than winning the lottery, I suppose, but not enough to make much difference. Those GGs are rare, exotic birds indeed. What's more, those of you who are thinking, as I once did, that turning to men for romance will solve the problem are in for some disappointment. Sure, you can find guys who want to have sex with you, but you can forget about the whole romance thing.
Here's the thing, you see -- very few people of any gender or sexual orientation are prepared to cope with the social stigma associated with crossdressing. Even if someone has some genuine interest or attraction, he or she isn't going to be able to handle the embarrassment by association. This is as true for friendship as for romance. That guy who will gladly meet you in a motel room turns into a spineless wimp at the mere prospect of being seen at club buying you a drink. What's worse, those "friends" who are gushing about how much they love you after a few drinks at a bar can never quite seem to clear their schedules enough to go to a movie or dinner with you, and somehow you're always overlooked when the party invitations go out.
Of course I'm painting with a broad brush here, and there are exceptions, as is evidenced by a few gurls right here on this forum. But it's much like the lottery -- someone's gonna win, just not you.
So that leaves us with three viable action points:
- You have to find a way to get comfortable with more solitude than you'd like.
- We gurls have make a huge effort, a real commitment, to be friends for each other, and not just online. We need face-time and stuff to do together. We need friendship. Maybe even a little romance.
- We have to keep trying, keep interacting with people, keep giving them chances to see beyond the covers to the books inside. Cuz if we don't, nothin's ever gonna change.