I can't speak for the others here, but despite my being a crossdresser, I have never felt particularly insecure about my underlying masculinity.

Sure, I had trouble in my younger days accepting my feminine side despite the pleasure it provided me because I always assumed that I was some sort of freak, that I was the only male who had these types of feelings, and that "real" men wouldn't be caught dead wearing women's clothes except for maybe a stunt, a dare, or on Halloween - and certainly not because it felt so good and so "right". But that was long ago and during my personal "Dark Ages", and with the knowledge gained since via the Internet and resources such as this Crossdressers.com forum, I've moved way past that point.

Yet despite all that, I was never in doubt about my heterosexuality and was always strongly attracted to girls. Still, the thing that seemed to set me apart from my contemporaries was the fact that I never had the urge to be a "playa", use (and later discard) women for my own selfish (read: "sexual") needs, lie, cheat on them, or generally disappoint them with Neanderthal-like behavior - in short, to act like a total @$$hole the way many men seem to because they have a need to "prove" their virility. Sure, I like to check out a pretty girl (and what she is wearing ) as much as the next guy, but I regard women as friends, equals, and someone to emulate, as opposed to merely being sex objects or someone to lord it over.

Except for perhaps back in high school when I was a late bloomer and didn't seem to "measure up" yet to some of my classmates when disrobing in the gym locker room, I never worried particularly about my penis size (I figure I'm pretty average), nor my ability to perform. Sure, time has taken its toll, and sometimes I need the help of the little blue pill like so many others in my age bracket, but I never really fretted about the possibility of becoming impotent or facing the other ravages of advancing age such as decreased libido, hair loss, greying hair, and prostate problems etc.

I also can't remember experiencing any sort of distinct mid-life crisis, and the closest I ever came to buying the proverbial convertible "chick magnet" sports car or monster truck or SUV during that point in my life was a fully loaded mid-1990's Pontiac Bonneville SSEi, and that was mainly because it could slice through slow-moving traffic like a hot knife through butter, and not to compensate for penis size and/or possible performance anxiety issues.

And yet, during the same time I became increasingly comfortable with my "Leslie" side, and she is now a bigger part of me than ever before. I find that my male and female sides seem to live in perfect harmony with each other now, and in fact, actually complement each other. I am also becoming increasingly aware of how this is a true "gender gift", and one which has made me a far better balanced (and more interesting) individual than most of the one-dimensional women/booze/sports obsessed "real" men that I come into contact with daily, and whom I really have to force myself to act like in order to fit in and not drop any hints of my "second self".

In short, I have reached a point in my life where I feel very comfortable within my own skin as a human being as opposed to being defined primarily by my sex and/or gender, yet by all conventional standards, I should probably be labelled a misfit and be totally screwed up psychologically - NOT!

I'm just curious to find out if there are many others out there who feel as I do, and who have also been able to achieve that sense of inner peace by finally knowing who they are and being comfortable in that knowledge - and the rest of society, its strictures and taboos, and all those homophobic alpha males out there be d@mned!