SO not sure where i am or where this should even go.
I've been really struggling as of lat to figure myself out. Am i a crossdresser, am i transgendered or am i really a transsexual. I have these desires to transition but i am so unsure if its really the right hing to do. I'm very scared of jumping into something like this. I wish i could just know who and what i am. That way at least i would have clear direction in my life.
I am very blessed with my wife who is very understanding and supportive whatever decision i make. I'm terrified of the ramifications of transitioning. I currently work in the video game industry which is typically very pro LGBT. But i mean its been my dream to work in this field my entire life. What if i start the transition process tell my boss and then lose my job over it. The combination of that and the emotions of transitioning i don't know if i could take it.
And then there's my family. My father whom i am very close to is a pastor of an inner city church. What if he doesn't accept my choice for religious choices. I'm really not prepared to lose my father. I cant imagine the pain i would feel if i lost him.
Recently on a road trip my wife asked me some questions that are forcing me to really deal with this emotionally. If there were no hurdles in my way. NO family to hold me back and my job wasn't a concern, would i take hormones and start to transition. With no hesitation i clearly answered yes in a heartbeat. She then asked what if i had transitioned and my genitalia was no longer sexually active would i want SRS i said of course yes assuming money was still no object. So she said well there you go i think you have your answer.
Anyway sorry this is so long just really confused with my life and body right now. Sorry if this should go in the transexual forum instead feel free to move it.