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Thread: Is it possible to be both male & female?

  1. #1
    Doe Eyed Damsel elusivebeauty's Avatar
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    Is it possible to be both male & female?

    I don't look at myself as two different people anymore. I used too, mostly because I was compartmentalizing my life into typical guy interests and typical girl interests, but ultimately one side ended up being suppressed. It's society that says you have to be one or the other so inevitably what happens is you divide and create. Now, I intermix my life and as I do that line that used to be so clear has become blurred. Of course, because I am private about my dressing there is a line still. As blurred as it may be, it's there until I choose (if ever) to be open completely about who I am.

    What I want to know, and I would like some feedback, is it possible to "cross the streams." It's become difficult to be only one because I want to be both. I know this would mean a lot of social rejection, but is anyone successfully a hybrid? If so, I am curious how you got to that point. I hope I made since, if you need me to clarify I would be more than happy too. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I think there are a lot of people on this Forum who think they are "Hybrids!" Not sure that I agree with them, but to each his own. I do wear womens clothing, but I am a man, plain and simple. Always have been, and always will be. Since I don't do wigs or makeup well, I am definitely a man in feminine clothes when I dress! Not at all a Hybrid!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  3. #3
    Member charlotte_sp's Avatar
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    I've been keeping my male and female social circles and activities separate too, and I've been okay so far.
    I guess I haven't really felt the need to mix them at all.
    Take that with a grain of salt though because I haven't been dressing that long XD

    When you say you "want to be both", I'm not sure I understand what your ultimate goal is.
    Could you please give us some examples?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Sherry-Stephanie's Avatar
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    Hell ya!!!!! That's what it's all about ...being both male and female and being able to flow back an forth normally....once you get there and can do it it's a blast!!!!

    Steph
    Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"

  5. #5
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    I'm always the same person, just sometimes I try to be pretty

  6. #6
    Life is for having fun. suzy1's Avatar
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    I am definitely two people. When I am Suzy, that’s who I am. To have two wonderful lives is amazing, a wonderful gift. That’s how I see it.
    It took no effort to be like that, it just comes naturally. I love life.

    A happy SUZY

  7. #7
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    Yes it is possible to be both at the same time and just be one , a middle way where one is not dominant over the other one and the easiest way to get that is to just be your self and not assume that one must be dominant , there is no slot that you have to fit into so that you can say " i am this but i do this" just be you .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  8. #8
    Member Anneliese's Avatar
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    I am both, without question.

  9. #9
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joanne f View Post
    Yes it is possible to be both at the same time and just be one , a middle way where one is not dominant over the other one and the easiest way to get that is to just be your self and not assume that one must be dominant , there is no slot that you have to fit into so that you can say " i am this but i do this" just be you .
    Yeah, what she said.

    I've been doing it all my life and never quite realized it until I had been hanging around here a while. I often wear mixed men's/women's clothing, and feel more masculine or feminine as the mood strikes me, no matter what I happen to be wearing at the time. I never could pick a "team" and stick with it, and see no reason why I should.

  10. #10
    Member Anneliese's Avatar
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    It would be completely boring to be one gender exclusively, especially if they were prototypical. Life is about differences and being your own person. I would hope they broke the mold after they made me.

  11. #11
    Accepted by me and mine Andrea's Lynne's Avatar
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    I'm with Deborah Jane on this one!
    Love

    Lynne

  12. #12
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    A long time ago in a town near you....

    When a baby was born with what they called "ambiguous gentility, they would say the child is a hermaphrodite. These days they label them as inter sexed. The reason for this is there really is no possible way to be both totally male and totally female at the same time. "They" say angles are both sexes, a hermaphrodite, but who wants to see an angle, they are sent by God to kill you, otherwise you would never see them. Anyway, I do understand your confusion and wish you all the luch in the world. If you do find an answer let me know OK?

    Susan

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Bethany38's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sherry-Stephanie View Post
    Hell ya!!!!! That's what it's all about ...being both male and female and being able to flow back an forth normally....once you get there and can do it it's a blast!!!!

    Steph

    Now only if I could get there. I have to say it would be nice to be able to be both at the same time.
    One day your life is going to pass before your eye's, Make sure it is worth watching.

    Eddie Izzard said it best "I am an action tranvestite".





    http://www.flickr.com/photos/bethanyannstratford/

  14. #14
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by elusivebeauty View Post
    .....is it possible to "cross the streams." It's become difficult to be only one because I want to be both. I know this would mean a lot of social rejection, but is anyone successfully a hybrid?.....
    I assume you mean androgynous? Hybrid sounds more like a car or something.

    I guess I fit one of the definations of androgynous, because I don't present entirely masculine or feminine. I think what has worked for me is:

    1. I still present clearly that I am a guy to my family and work, even though my hair and cloths and other aspects may appear quite feminine at times.

    2. Even though I may be seen as a feminine male, I am OK and don't worry that they may think I am gay. I don't go around trying to explain myself all the time.

    3. People know me, know who I am and I have gone slow, giving them (and me!) plenty of time to become accustom to the gradual changes (letting my hair grow, etc) in me expressing the feminine part of who I am.

    4. I have had discussions with key people in my life, letting them know I am a crossdresser and so I don't think they are suprised.

    5. I do try to keep a balance and not go overboard and always consider others feelings about it, while at the same time, still being faithful to me.

    6. I work hard at being the best husband, father and co-worker I can be so that I can maintain the respect of others, even if they happen to roll their eyes or give each other glances (which I haven't even noticed). That's OK. They are OK to feel what they feel, as long as we can work together professionally and with respect for each other.
    Last edited by Jonianne; 06-19-2010 at 04:22 PM.
    Joni

    "Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan

  15. #15
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    There is also a dark side to this middle way that you must be careful not to fall into because you are nether one or the other you can get into a state where you will never feel happy because of you physical gender but you can soon learn to see past that and it rarely happens .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  16. #16
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    That is the elusive balance. I think when you realize that you are the same with or without the clothes then you are headed in the right direction.
    Michelle

  17. #17
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    The native Americans call this "two-spirit" . They refer to this as warrior/princess.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-Spirit

  18. #18
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I used to try to keep both sides apart but with time I think that I am learning that this is one and have been trying to meld them into one.
    Because of my job I need to present male predominatly, but with a softer side becoming more a part of who I am. I have also come out to more people and have pushed the boundaries more and more.

  19. #19
    Member Sophie_C's Avatar
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    Without being in some outsider group of people embracing androgyny, no. People only understand gender roles, for the most part, and WILL be confused...

  20. #20
    Formerly Deborah Whitney
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deborah Jane View Post
    I'm always the same person, just sometimes I try to be pretty
    I *love* this! Me too, me too!

    I feel that keeping the two sides of me was necessary for a time, but that time is over, and it is high time I got "integrated".

    I'm working on it, in my own way ... an uneducated way to be sure, but I'm trying. I will start seeing a counselor soon to help me through some rough spots, but in the mean time, I'm trying hard to go out dressed and be myself, with no guilt or fear ... to make small adjustments each day.

  21. #21
    Just an everyday girl Karen564's Avatar
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    [SIZE=2]From what I've seen, I think this site is a testament of many who are both male & female..[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=2][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3]Karen[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=2]I really do have the...Right To Be Wrong.. [/SIZE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkSTG...eature=channel [SIZE=2]and my mistakes will make me strong![/SIZE]

    [SIZE=2]Just call out my name...and I'll come running...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SxTo...eature=related just lovin classic JT again...[/SIZE]

  22. #22
    Silver Member linnea's Avatar
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    Yes, but if you actually change gender from male to female, there's very little chance that you can change back, so by "hybrid" that's what you mean, you're really in the realm of CDing--and it can be a wonderful realm.
    warmly, Linnea

  23. #23
    "I need more cowbell." dennisGTS's Avatar
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    I'd consider myself a "hybrid". IMO, if I were a GG, I think I would be the perfect lesbian!

    Although, I think I'm more male biased than female. My wife will sometimes comment that I act like a girl. But I make a point to act like the typical male (burping, farting, vulgar, etc...) when I'm at work with the Army guys.
    (¯`'•.(¯`'•.¸,ø¤º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º¤ø,¸ ¸,ø¤º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºº¤ø,¸¸,•♥• ƸӜƷ•♥• ,¸¸,ø¤ºº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºº ¤ø,¸¸,•♥•ƸӜƷ•♥•,¸¸,ø¤ºº¤ø,¸¸ ,ø¤º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º¤ø,¸.• '´¯)¸.•'´¯)
    [SIZE="3"]"Crossdressing men, with a little discretion and a lot of anxiety, can pass as normal and retain all the privilege of their birthright.
    They don't have to tell anyone they are wearing lacy panties under their jeans."

    –Helen Boyd[/SIZE]

    (`*•...*(`*•.¸...-:¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•*[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]*•-:¦:-•:*'''''*:•-:¦:-¸.•*´)*...•*´)

  24. #24
    Mischief Maker Lexine's Avatar
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    I can say that parts of me represent both genders, but its definition may vary per person. If genitalia is a sign of gender, then its impossible to be both unless your a eunuch or a hermaphrodite

    However, there are many other variables to gender, such as presentation, mannerism, and voice. I can choose to represent myself in either boy or girl, but I think the most difficult representation has to be being in the middle.

    Last night, I experimented with this by wearing a fairly androgynous outfit and putting eyeliner on to emphasize the femininity of my eyes and, in turn, shaved really well. Voice became an issue, as there is no "androgynous voice" that I know of - if you go too far to male, it's obviously male, but if you go too far into femme, you might be misconstrued as gay. It's weird like that :P

    Either way, being in the middle is challenging - and to me this is what defines "being both." Though according to your question, you mean being able to live as both a boy and a girl. To that, I answer yes... it is possible, but your friends and loved ones need to know your motivations and have a clear understanding that you are still you regardless of how you present yourself.

    A good explanation, in my opinion, is to liken it to one presenting as part of a sub-group (goths, etc). It's a form of self-expression, a lifestyle choice if you will, and despite that person choosing to represent themselves in that manner, its still the same person deep inside.

    Hope this helps!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  25. #25
    Just a touch of class Lynn Marie's Avatar
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    [SIZE="3"]I'm quite happy with the two of me. Wouldn't want to change a thing, with the possible exception of a more varied femme wardrobe.[/SIZE]

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