New, some crossdressing questions?

[Gingerbread]

I am new to this forum, and I hope I am posting is the right area. :-)

I have been cross-dressing off and on since I was about 9 years old. My story is a pretty typical one of sneaking in my moms closet for her clothes and such. Over the years I have bought my own, i've purged my collections and sworn I would never buy more, I always seen to be drawn to dressing up though. I don't know why, and am not even going to pretend to understand why I am this way, I am not passable in the least.

Currently I am married and my wife is fully aware that I crossdress but only has minor issues with it. she doesn't like to see me dressed, but we have been intimate while I have had (on of my own) silk nightgowns on.

My wife is out of town and I recently went out on a errand run dressed. It was only to the post office and gas station and the bank, but it was a significant leap for me cause I had never went that far before "en femme" I felt great though and really want to do it again, as this was a HUGE self esteem booster for me.

However while I was out I began thinking of many things that I never really though of before, due to the fact that I never had the nerve to go out dressed. before this time it was absolutly out of the question for me. I don't know why I chose now to do it, but I am glad I did.

So if any of you ladies can help answer some of these question I would be grateful. again I know that some of this has already been posted (many) times before and I have read many many threads about this stuff, but I never seem to get the answer I want or need to hear. I also quite frankly have never been an active part of a forum before, so I would also like to get some experiance posting a bit if you don't mind :-)

So here goes...

1. Every time I go en femme I do a nice conservative makup of my face. I even have beard cover from Suddenly femme, however I ALWAYS have some kind of beard shadow not matter how hard I try. I shave up, down sideways etc... and put on my concealer and it always shows through. also if I put on to much I look very fake and wierd like the crossdressing guy from boondock saints. lol. I see so many pretty girls on here, please Whats you secret!?

2. I have only bee out once so far an have not had to deceide yet, but can I please get a difinitive answer on what bathroom I should go in? I am not passable see my photo, but would feel wierd going in the mens restroom.

3.I really admire women and look very closely at what the are wearing and try to mimic that. I don't want to appear to be a "hooker" or "****", what the question is really.... Am I doing ok in the photo I posted?

3. I am really interested in taking hormones, I know what the results can be and I also know what the side effects are. my question is, would my wife be able to tell I was taking them if I didn't tell her (which I probably would) and has anyone taken them and really regretted it? I am mainly looking for the effects of thinner body hair and maybe a little breast tissue, but I really dont want to loose my sex drive, and finally do the once you can get online without a prescription really work?

4. last question for now and this is my biggest concern! How do you girls change you voice? I have looked at a number of threads and watched a number of videos, I have practiced over and over but cannnot seem to ever make a convincing female sound. Am I DOOMED to a deep male voice or am I just not getting it. I really want to continue dressing en femme and going out but my biggest concern is having to say something to someone? please help.

5. oh, and also (this is the real last question) what about when you have to show you id (drivers license) am I able to get one as a girl,? is that even legal, I am in california BTW.

Again, this is my frist post an d I am sorry if it is long or in the wrong place. I do really respect you girls for being you, and really want to now become an active member of a forum like this to learn and share my experiences.

Thank you and bless you all!
Dahlia

[AllieSF]

Welcome to the forum from Norcal. Lot's of questions. I will pass on the beard cover one, except to say that if you do a search here for past threads you will probably find a lot of great advice on that topic, because it has come up a lot. In California you are OK (legally) to use the restroom for the gender that you are presenting as. That doesn't mean that you you may encounter someone who objects to that. I have not had that unfortunate situation, but a friend of mine did at a chain restaurant near Berkeley. Hormones are not something to take for hair thinning, redistribution of fat and for growing breasts. You should only take hormones if you are transitioning to live full time as a woman. This is another area that a search of past threads will give you all the reasons why not to take. Your pic looks great and with confidence you would fit in most places. I like your style from what I can see. There are several voice training CD's (compact disk kind!), plus a lot of past threads on this here (another search). I am not saying that it works for everyone, but it is worth a try. You do not really need to worry about your ID photo if it is in your guy mode. I use mine all the time. Since I am also not truly passable, I use it and forget it. No one has ever said anything to me, and if they do, I might just cancel my payment to that establishment and let them fight it out with my credit card company and me. Here in California you can get an authentic ID card with a pic en femme and all your male data at the DMV. Just remember that the next time you get your drivers license renewed that femme pic will show up on it because they will use the last picture on file. That is not a problem because you can go into a DMV office and get a new pic and drivers license all over again in male mode. Good luck and enjoy your stay here.

[linnea]

I would strongly recommend that you contact and work with a good therapist who specializes in TG issues. There's nothing wrong with you, and your questions are typical, but your hormone question suggests some ambivalence that you need to work out. Hormones are nothing to experiment with.
Good luck.

[~Michelle~]

Welcome to the forum!

3. I am really interested in taking hormones, I know what the results can be and I also know what the side effects are. my question is, would my wife be able to tell I was taking them if I didn't tell her

Gingerbread, if you start keeping secrets from your wife, make sure that you understand where that path is often leading to...

[Gingerbread]

I would strongly recommend that you contact and work with a good therapist who specializes in TG issues. There's nothing wrong with you, and your questions are typical, but your hormone question suggests some ambivalence that you need to work out. Hormones are nothing to experiment with.
Good luck.

Linnea,

Thank you, to be completely honest I haven't even entertained the idea of seeing a therapist for what I am going through. Do you think they that this would be helpful? Have you been to one yourself and have they helped you? Was it worth it? I am going to look up more information about this, I think my wife would be very supportive of the idea.

Finally though, is there any other way to take hormones other than as an experiment? I mean is anyone really sure that they want/need them?

Thank you
Dahlia

[StaceyJane]

I tried using hormones from an online pharmacy and I can tell you that they work but I can also tell you that it was a very bad idea.

Making your body more feminine can sound exciting but you really shouldn't do it unless you are transitioning. If you take hormones you will have permanent breast growth and eventually you will be sterile.

I stopped hormones before and noticable growth and I've already got six grandkids so sterility isn't an issue but these are things you should think about.

That is one reason it's important to talk to a therapist and a doctor before starting hormones.

BTW
1. I use the ladies restroom when I'm out en femme.
2. You look good in your pic. Once you start going out try buying some clothes for yourself at a regular store. Have the SA's help you put together an outfit. It's a lot of fun plus I will help your look.
3. answered already
4. Practice, practice, practice
5. Yes you can get a state ID card.

Hey you have have two #3's in your questions. It put my answers off.

[Tricia Lee]

1. Every time I go en femme I do a nice conservative makup of my face. I even have beard cover from Suddenly femme, however I ALWAYS have some kind of beard shadow not matter how hard I try. I shave up, down sideways etc... and put on my concealer and it always shows through. also if I put on to much I look very fake and wierd like the crossdressing guy from boondock saints. lol. I see so many pretty girls on here, please Whats you secret!?

Take a look here:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...94#post2094994

[Gingerbread]

Take a look here:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...94#post2094994

WOW thanks Tricia, I haven't seen this one yet!

[AKAMichelle]

Your wife will notice the small penis and it will upset her. Especially if you do it behind her back. That is a recipe for disaster and the end of your marriage.

The DL can't be changed to a female name unless you see a therapist and get a letter to change the name. You have to be pretty serious about being a female to get that far. But remember you have a wife and she expects you to be trustworthy and honest with her. You need to see a therapist and have a long talk with your life before you make any decisions. They will change your life in more ways than you expect.

[Princess Chantal]

Linnea,

I think my wife would be very supportive of the idea.

Supporting of crossdressing does not mean she will be supportive of any transitional efforts. Her man dressing to appear in woman form is way different than her man having or becoming the woman form.

[Kathi Lake]

Currently I am married and my wife is fully aware that I crossdress but only has minor issues with it. She doesn't like to see me dressed, . . .

Wow! I have to ask, are you happily married? Do you want to stay that way? As others have mentioned, some of the things you are doing - and thinking about doing - spell danger in blinking, capital letters!

Hormones?

Sex with men (a 30% curiosity, as mentioned in another thread)?

Going out without her knowledge?

Slow down a little and take a breath. Make sure you open the window first, because I think that the room you're in doesn't have enough oxygen in it and is instead filled with pink fog.

It seems to me that you have a shiny new toy, and you want to play with that toy soooo much. That toy will still be here 1, 2, 5, 10 years down the road. Enjoy the journey and stop worrying so much about the final destination. You'll get there. Slow down, Turbo!

Thank you, to be completely honest I haven't even entertained the idea of seeing a therapist for what I am going through. . . . I think my wife would be very supportive of the idea.

Time to start entertaining. It sounds like, in addition to some possible impulse-control issues , you may have some gender issues to work out as well. If you seriously don't know what it is you want to do with your life, it would be great to find someone who can help show you the way by allowing you to realize what you really want for yourself.

Kathi

[celeste26]

There are free voice lessons on You Tube in fact you tube is filled with CD's some good some not so good.

Lots of other free advice so I'll just give you my

[Linda St. John]

Michelle ...I think that if the small penis is behind the wife's back - she won't notice it !!

[VickysBFF]

1. Every time I go en femme I do a nice conservative makup of my face. I even have beard cover from Suddenly femme, however I ALWAYS have some kind of beard shadow not matter how hard I try. I shave up, down sideways etc... and put on my concealer and it always shows through. also if I put on to much I look very fake and wierd like the crossdressing guy from boondock saints. lol. I see so many pretty girls on here, please Whats you secret!?

Hi Dahlia: Ther best that you can do is to use the best quality razor and shave cream. You will get better results with a brand new razor and by shaving after showering when the heat from the shower has opened your pores. As for the makeup, you might want to look into MAC and Sephora for some alternatives that have worked well for others.


2. I have only bee out once so far an have not had to deceide yet, but can I please get a difinitive answer on what bathroom I should go in? I am not passable see my photo, but would feel wierd going in the mens restroom.

If you are en femme, you are ok using the ladies room in most places. Just do your business and leave; don't "hang out" in the ladies' room. Avoid places that have lots of families and children if possible.


3.I really admire women and look very closely at what the are wearing and try to mimic that. I don't want to appear to be a "hooker" or "****", what the question is really.... Am I doing ok in the photo I posted?

I think that you look very nice in your photo but you should wear long sleeves or a sweater to cover up your tattoos. Very young women in their 20s may be tattooed but you appear to be older than that so it does stand out.


3. I am really interested in taking hormones, I know what the results can be and I also know what the side effects are. my question is, would my wife be able to tell I was taking them if I didn't tell her (which I probably would) and has anyone taken them and really regretted it? I am mainly looking for the effects of thinner body hair and maybe a little breast tissue, but I really dont want to loose my sex drive, and finally do the once you can get online without a prescription really work?

I can't add anything more to what others have said

4. last question for now and this is my biggest concern! How do you girls change you voice? I have looked at a number of threads and watched a number of videos, I have practiced over and over but cannnot seem to ever make a convincing female sound. Am I DOOMED to a deep male voice or am I just not getting it. I really want to continue dressing en femme and going out but my biggest concern is having to say something to someone? please help.

Do your best to soften your voice and raise your pitch and pay attention to the words that you use, your tone and the way that you speak. Women use different words and speak in a different manner.


5. oh, and also (this is the real last question) what about when you have to show you id (drivers license) am I able to get one as a girl,? is that even legal, I am in california BTW.

I don't know the legalities here in CA but I can tell you that SAs are just checking to make sure that the signatures on cards and IDs match. Most are not phased if you are en femme and have a male ID.