It Gets Easier Every Outing

[Miley]

Since I have become a member here and have read the threads and posts from wonderful girls thats are become more like my family, I find myself growing in confidence and doing things I have desired to do but never though I could.

Last night I had the night to myself as my wife went out with friends. For a few days I had been planning on going out dressed in a more public place than I have before. I was hoping to go to a shopping mall or IKEA but unfortunately they were closed. Although I did find a large supermarket open that was surprisingly busy. I decided tonight was a good night for shopping. I was wearing a cute purple dress with a lighter purple cardigan. I got out of the car as a man watched while on his phone. I put my hand bag over my shoulder and proceeded for the shop.

As I was walking the isles looking at what to buy a thought occurred to me. What if everyone here read me and knew I was a crossdresser. would I not want to go out? would I shy away? but I found myself confidently answering myself, no! I would still go out even if that means being seen and as a crossdresser. I am proud to be transgender and I am happy being the girl that I am. I do believe I pass as a girl and I strive for this and I am still shy and wanting to go more and more public, but for the times that I am read why should I care if people see me as a crossdresser.

I wanted to share this thought after going out last night to encourage us to lift our head up high, look yourself in the mirror and smile! for you are a beautiful. ......Arrr now there is that song in my head......You are beautiful, no matter wat they say, coz words can bring you down....

If in your experience there are some words of wisdom that helps you remain confident in public please do share those thoughts (or song lyrics

[Lexine]

That's great that you stepped out and did something that only a few of us have been able to do! Now that you're out, it'll be difficult to try and keep you in.

Often times some people think that everyone is on high alert in terms of trying to find TG/CDers in public but the truth is that this simply isn't the case unless you give them any reason to. I had a checklist that mirrored all the things I did to build confidence in going out and it increased in varying degrees of difficulty and want to finally share it here. Keep in mind that, obviously, all these are to be done en femme and since this was written for California girls in mind, your mileage might vary depending on where you live:

[ ] Step out of your home and close the door behind you
Why do this: This, to me, is kinda similar to dipping your foot in a pool for the first time in your entire life. You're not sure what's going to happen, so you're just trying to get your feet wet until you're ready to explore further

[ ] Get to your car and go through the drive thru at a local fast food place, order something, then take it home and eat your prize!
Why do this: There's minimal outside contact here... from the moment you go from your home to your car, then from your car through the drive thru. You might encounter someone in the hallway heading to your car and back, and for sure you're going to - at the very least - interact with the people at the fast food place. All these encounters are very minimal, since you don't have to linger at one point for too long. It also gives you a sense of accomplishment, since the whole intention of getting food was met!

[ ] With a GG friend, go dine at a fast food place/restaurant.
Why do this: We're upping the ante by lingering at a public place and now interacting with other people for an extensive period of time. Your GG friend will provide you with the corrective mannerisms needed should you feel ill equipped to act in a certain way. You don't need to make her be aware of this, just look at how she acts but don't necessarily copy her exactly.

[ ] Use the women's restroom at the fast food place/restaurant.
Why do this: This puts you in close proximity with other people outside of your immediate circle of friends. Like the first checklist item, this just lets you get your feet wet for those moments when you'll be interacting with the general populace without any friends you know with you immediately available. Remember to sit down, and wash your hands afterwards! March right back in there if you just burst out because you freaked out that there's a line for YOUR stall!

[ ] Go to the mall by yourself and shop for clothes.
Why do this: This is the culmination of all the prep work done before this. Looking back, aren't you glad you took the chance and stepped out!

[ ] Tell everybody at crossdressers.com what happened!
Why do this: It's always great to hear stories of girls who've gotten the courage to go out. Yours is just as important as any others, and it gives encouragement to other girls who haven't mustered the courage to step out and realize how wonderful it is to go out!

[Miley]

Wow these are great steps. Everytime I go out I want to take greater steps. Starting from closing the door... And how symbolic that can be to becoming the girl we are. Ahead of me, using the girls toilets and buying clothes. I shared with my wife about going shopping with her when en femme and she seemed to be ok with this so I just can't wait. it is seeming easier everytime and can't wait till it is just normal going out. Thanks again Alex I love what u wrote

[erika130]

Awesome steps, really, I had thought of a couple like that, but these are pretty detailed, thanks Alex!

[linnea]

I think that ohitsjustalex gave some very good suggestions. I do have one caution, however:

"Use the women's restroom at the fast food place/restaurant.
Why do this: This puts you in close proximity with other people outside of your immediate circle of friends. Like the first checklist item, this just lets you get your feet wet for those moments when you'll be interacting with the general populace without any friends you know with you immediately available. Remember to sit down, and wash your hands afterwards! March right back in there if you just burst out because you freaked out that there's a line for YOUR stall!"

There are only a few states in the USA where this is allowed. That is, in about 13 states, a person may legally use the restroom of the gender that he or she is presenting. In other states there may be some legal issues to be cautious about. Washington, Oregon, and California are three of the 13; my current home state, Montana, is not one of them. I still use the women's restroom if I'm presenting as a female, even in Montana, but here I'm very cautious. In Washington, I don't mind standing and waiting for a stall (though I haven't had to do this much).

Otherwise, I think that ohitsjustalex gave some great ideas. Good luck and enjoy yourself!

[Lexine]

@linnea - And I do hope people read both our posts because this can definitely be an area of concern . Either way, I think a good substitute for the women's restroom step is something similar - something that will force you to step outside of your comfort zone (in the restaurant's case, your table with your GG friend) and interacting in close proximity to other people without the aid of your friend.

One of the reasons why I have the "Why do this" is to be able to find comparable (and possibly more legal) substitutes to the steps outlined. I'm hoping that the girls here build upon this idea and let us know how it works out. Again, your mileage may vary, but at least these are several decent goals to shoot for

[ShevanAZ]

Go with a female friend