Inquiring Minds Want To Know/ week 10

[Raychel]

28) When you eventually tell her, is it because you no longer want to live a lie, or is it because you are seeking to explore your femme side more than you can when you keep it under wraps?

Definitly, because I no longer wanted to life in secrecy. Living the lie, always scared of the issues of being found out.

29) When you do tell your partner, how open are you to having her establish some boundaries, and do you have boundaries of your own that you would like to establish?

My wife did set some boundries, I was completely fine with that. She could have packed my bags and thrown me out. A few little rules are no big deal.

30) How long do you deem an acceptable time for her to wrap her head around this new dimension in your relationship & be comfortable with it?

This was a major shock to her. She had mostly accepted it, although she would still rather not talk about it. Which I guess I can live with. It has been about 5 years now to get to this point. I would like to be able to dress sometime when she is home and just enjoy life. It is not looking like that will happen in my lifetime though.

[TxKimberly]

Week ten questions from our GG's Thanks to all for your time.

Week 10
This is for the CDers who have told, or are considering telling their partners well into the relationship:

28) When you eventually tell her, is it because you no longer want to live a lie, or is it because you are seeking to explore your femme side more than you can when you keep it under wraps?

29) When you do tell your partner, how open are you to having her establish some boundaries, and do you have boundaries of your own that you would like to establish?

30) How long do you deem an acceptable time for her to wrap her head around this new dimension in your relationship & be comfortable with it?

I told my wife about two weeks into our marriage, because I just couldn't handle the guilt of knowing I was hiding something so significant from her. Don't get me wrong, i don't claim that I calmly considered my obligations, and then made a rational decision to calmly and intelligently explain things to my wife. it was more a feeling of over whelming desperation and guilt that required and forced me to do so.

Out of all of the the questions in this series, these three strike me as being particularly interesting and maybe a bit telling. It seems that with these three questions, the gloves came off, and the GG's have come out swinging. They show a level of hurt, irritation, and anger - fairly reasonable given the context I think.

[corrinediane]

28) When you eventually tell her, is it because you no longer want to live a lie, or is it because you are seeking to explore your femme side more than you can when you keep it under wraps?
I didn't want to hide AND I wanted to explore my fem side WITH her.

29) When you do tell your partner, how open are you to having her establish some boundaries, and do you have boundaries of your own that you would like to establish?
Both. Boundaries are a good thing when dealing with CDing and SO's. I do have some of my own. It could get really out of hand if it's not discussed.

30) How long do you deem an acceptable time for her to wrap her head around this new dimension in your relationship & be comfortable with it?
How ever long it takes, presuming she wants to stay in the relationship with you. Then too, how important is it to you that she accept? I waited 20 years but in the end the CDing wasn't what did us in.

[flatlander_48]

Week 10

28) When you eventually tell her, is it because you no longer want to live a lie, or is it because you are seeking to explore your femme side more than you can when you keep it under wraps?
Basically disclosure. While this never came up with my first wife, I did talk about it with my second wife during the courtship, before we got married. She is very OK with things and she actually encourage me to dress for the only time that I have gone out. We did some Halloween things a few years back.

29) When you do tell your partner, how open are you to having her establish some boundaries, and do you have boundaries of your own that you would like to establish?

My boundaries are probably stricter than hers. However, if she objected to something, I would definitely consider an appropriate change. To not would be like biting the hand that feeds you.

30) How long do you deem an acceptable time for her to wrap her head around this new dimension in your relationship & be comfortable with it?

It was pretty instantaneous...

[AmandaM]

28) When you eventually tell her, is it because you no longer want to live a lie, or is it because you are seeking to explore your femme side more than you can when you keep it under wraps?
29) When you do tell your partner, how open are you to having her establish some boundaries, and do you have boundaries of your own that you would like to establish?
30) How long do you deem an acceptable time for her to wrap her head around this new dimension in your relationship & be comfortable with it?

28. I want her to know, and accept it. I wasn't going to hide anymore.
29. Boundaries within reason, I'm gonna crossdress, etc. so no strict limitations, else find another spouse. But I told before marriage.
30. Since I told her before marriage, I considered it a deal breaker if she didn't want it. I was sick of women freaking out over it, so I decided, if they can't accept it, end it right away. I've been hurt before, and vowed it was never going to happen again. Basically, my philosophy about it is this, if I got divorced, and was dating again, they'll know right away, and if they don't accept it, they're gone. I don't have time anymore for bs.