All we have is our own views of femininity, and our own idea of what makes us happy. What makes us CD. What makes us enjoy doing any of it.
As much as I don't agree with certain ideals and views and ways people dress (including on this site), they still have a right.
People have every right to dress the way they want to, CDer or not. Nobody is out there representing me except myself. If a CDer is walking through the mall dressed like a hooker they are representing themselves. They are not reflecting back at me. If a non-CDer sees that person and thinks "That is shameful. All CDers disgust me," that is their hang-up. I don't care one bit what a stranger thinks of me and I'll bet you that CDer doesn't either.
Just as long as people aren't exposing their genitals in public they can dress as they want.
How much of a problem is this really?
Exactly how common is it for a CD to go out dressed like a prostitute during the day?
-=CherryZips=-
I find it interesting that in this group of people that constantly ask others to accept them for who they are and what they believe that so many are quick to condemn someone because of how they choose to express their individuality. We inside the community who understand the struggly against stereotyping should be fighting the hardest when it rears its head. We should not be inflicting on others what we consider to be an appropriate way to dress for this community. We should learn to see people and the things they do as individual expressions of who they are and not the governing way the group are a part of really is. In short because some GG's wear hotpants and high heels should I take that as a moral description of all GG's?
Amen. The need to feel superior is typically driven by a deep seeded feeling of inferiority, so this seems like a case of, take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror.Originally Posted by Patricia Johnson
To clarify something, though I said I'm in it for the exhibitionistic fun of it, I've typically only gone dressed, to clubs where that would not be frowned on. I wouldn't go to the mall in my five inch spike heels; that's why I just got a pair of knee high boots with 3 inch block heels
I pretty much accept everyone as they are but if any ask for suggestions I will offer my honest opinion.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I haven't made a trip outside to this point. Inside, I dress as either a hippie or a tramp. If I ever ventured out, I would probably be conservative, at least initially. However, I couldn't care less how or why anyone else does anything that doesn't physically harm someone else.
[SIZE=4]When you have become open to all that you know or will meet, and have some semblance of intelligence, this type of post won't even become visible on your radar.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]For critiques of how some of our sisters dress in public, you are just that, a critique. Being such does nothing but point at others. Just shake your head and look at yourself and the situation you have created for yourself.[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I am a licensed Cosmetologist (hair stylist, not cosmonaut), work as a hair and wig stylist, makeup artist and permanent makeup artist, dressed as you see in my avatar and albums.
My web site www.apparentlyfemale.com
I have over 2,500 pictures on my Flicker site located at http://www.flickr.com/photos/9315394@N02/
Shirley & Donnina, my aim in quoting you is not to single you out, but rather show your opposing viewpoints to illustrate what I'm about to say. You and others will need to draw parallels between the lesbian/gay communities in my story to the transgender community here.I'm sorry but I'm in it primarily for the exhibitionistic fun of it. I'm certainly not going to change for you, but if you feel like I'm giving you an especially bad name, well then you might have a choice to make for yourself
My SO has a lesbian friend who is doing her best to help bring lesbians and gays in her community (in a town an hour away) out of the bars and nightclubs and into the more ordinary, everyday social activities such as coffee houses, picnics, trying to establish community centers, volunteering in the community, etc. Her goal is to convince her sisters and brothers that they can be themselves with their partners and share the sunlight along with everyone else. She hasn't been successful. It is a smallish sized town, and the lesbians and gays there prefer to keep a low profile. And I don't think she even knows anyone who is transgender other than my SO, due to the even deeper closet that TGs share.
At any rate, my SO's friend recognizes that when members of groups feel oppressed externally, they take on internalized oppression. The lesbians and gays in her community harm themselves by becoming exactly what society considers them to be, and they fulfill the prejudiced stereotypes and the restrictive roles placed on them externally by limiting their social activities to hanging out in bars, drinking a lot, and engaging in promiscuous behaviors. This then continues to define who they are as a group. They don't believe they deserve anything better for themselves, so they are reluctant to participate in the activities and groups that my SOs friend has tried to organize.
It's pretty hard to break out of a cage when its bars are both external and internal.
Another interesting phenomena on top of all this is the concept of horizontal oppression. This is when people who are externally and internally oppressed take their repressed anger out on the members of their own community. We see this in this forum sometimes, in the low understanding and tolerance some members have for others who express themselves differently, or who are at different points along the TG continuum.
Last edited by ReineD; 06-22-2010 at 07:43 AM.
Reine
Well I also agree with Kathi, and most of what Debs said. But considering who we are, that I don't agree with. We are a group (Large group) of people from all over the world, who share a small thing in common. Beyond being a cross dresser, or SO to a cross dresser, or TS, we can be as different as night and day.Well said Kathi, you've pretty much said the same as I was going too
Who are we to judge anyone else, considering who we are.
If it makes you happy, isn't illegal and nobodies getting hurt by it, just do it!
In my youth, I dressed as a hippie, and people looked at me with scorn, I am a Transvestite (sorry to old to change titles anymore) and on top of that I am a liberal, and NASCAR fan, I just never seem to fit in anywhere. So as I have done for the last 46 years I will decide what is appropriate for me, and let you decide what is appropriate for you. If however I have a question of how to do something, then your opinion will be greatly appreciated.
Tina B.
We don't need no fashion police!
Last edited by Tina B.; 06-22-2010 at 07:56 AM. Reason: Premature posting
No for me. As a part timer, I have really never been serious about my cding. I am just into the fetish stuff that you can"t wear outside anyway. But, I do enjoy reading about the members here who do go out!!!
Hello everyone, I dress for my mood, sometimes a mid length skirt and nice blouse,or a mid length dress,If I am feeling sexy,I wear a mini skirt with a bra and see through top,or a mini dress.sometimes I drive around in my two piece bikini on a hot day,and will even go into a store that way.Maybe a little bit of exhibitionism?I have nice legs and love to show them off.
I think alot of it has to do with where you go to when your dressed and the age group in which you identify. Yeah when I go out sometimes I will wear 7 inch heels, but Im not that tall I go to nightclubs mostly where the average age is probably 22. My wife and her friends go to these clubs too and my outfits arent that much different than theirs. So sometimes its outfits like that fit in, I guess all Im trying to say is its best to dress with your enviornment, not all sexy photos are just for amusement
Ya know, I can see where you are coming from. That is one reason I have yet to put up a real picture of myself because I still look like a "guy in a dress" rather than a passable lady. My male self is just too masculine for me to be doing this, but I just cannot help it. I have tried to quit, I have tried to move on, but one way or another it just keeps coming back for more. The longest I have been without this need was my latter years of high school because I was popular, played football, and had a GF. But after I had graduated (and broke it off with my GF) It all came rushing back like a tidal wave, only this time I had a job so i could buy my own stuff. So finally I have just accepted it as a part of who I am. So whenever I present myself dressed, which is very rarely, I try to do it with the most respect for women possible. (I still look like a "guy in a dress". I'm too genetically muscular and hairy)
Last edited by Allyson Michelle; 06-30-2010 at 05:01 AM.
Whilst I never go out, 1) because I'm not ready 2) because I'm not passable (I know this doesn't stop alot of people, especially the ones you're talking about) 3) the idea of the inlaws finding out (they live next door for those who don't know) I can see your point, I personally don't see as many cd's out as I'd like (or maybe they're done up so well I don't notice) but I have to say that even when I do see the "Skanky cd" walking down the street I can't help thinking that there are people out there drawing attention to the sort of lifestyle we have good or bad publicity the first step to being socially accepted is to be noticed!
We are on very thin ice here. As soon as we start making judgements about what one segment of our group does is good or bad we are looking at decay from inside. Who is to say what the "norm" for crossdressing should be, or the "norm" for expected behavior? Who is so perfect as to judge this issue?
What you do might make me uncomfortable, but then what I do might make you uncomfortable! The time that someone tells me that I need "help" with some aspect of my crossdressing because I'm not presenting our collective "best foot forward" is the time when I'm not going to be "civil" in my response. Asking for help, and being told we are "out of line" are two very different things.
As you can see, this notion does not find favor in this gurl.
tina
[SIZE=4]Okay, as I read through the posts, especially Shirley's original.. music in my head came to mind..Pink Floyd's "The Wall"... "and that one looks queer..put him up against the wall"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]okay so the words may not be exact but the idea that anyone who does not fit the 'mold' is wrong..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I want to thank each of you for all the various replies..its says alot of who we are... individuals..free to express.. in any manner we choose (legally, of course).. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Who is to say:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I have my head on straight?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]That I dress properly?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]That I truly want to blend in and move about the female world with ease?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Or to even desire to transition? [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]And who is to say I'm not trying to reach all of the above?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Me..that is who..
[SIZE=4]If I choose to ask for opinions (which is part of the acceptance of joining this site), then I welcome them..both negative and positive... and if any deviations are made, its on my own accord.. not because i'm joining the army to march down the street for acceptance.. that may come someday but not today and not tomorrow.. if at all.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I joined this site because of its name "crossdressers.com".. not "ifyoufitcrossdresser.com" or "onlyifyoupasscrossdresser.com"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Shirley, I thank you for this thread..its needed sometimes so we all know what this is really about..giving our thoughts and accepting each other for our own individuality.... [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]"mother, did they need to make it so... high"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Hugs,[/SIZE]
Last edited by Marissa; 08-12-2010 at 10:20 AM. Reason: word correction
Marissa
"You better look hard and look twice,
...is that me, baby or just a brilliant disguise?"- The Boss
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