Fitting in socially

[Kate Simmons]

A lot of times here I see that many say they prefer their girl qualities and would rather display them than their guy qualities. Some even go as far as to say they hate the guy "self" and feelings and would much rather be the girl. My question is: If you got that accomplished would you really be able to fit into the female role socially? Would you rather do it in a part time setting or a full time one? Could you fulfill that role 24/7 if necessary and how would that make you feel? I could do it if necessary but would need a good enough incentive to. How would you address this opportunity?

[ColleenW]

Interesting question Denise. I too would say that I prefer the feminine (or as you say girl) qualities of my personality but I don't know if I could maintain these qualities in my life 24/7. It seems, no matter how I try, more masculine qualities keep popping up, usually at the most inopportune moment.

[BRANDYJ]

I think it is the girl qualities about me that make me a much better man. I would not want to be 24/7, but as far as those emotions that I have and feel, it is now already 24/7. And I'm sure part of the reason I am a CD is those gentler feelings. Or is it the reason I am more girl-like in emotions is because I am a CD?

Good question

[ColleenW]

And I'm sure part of the reason I am a CD is those gentler feelings. Or is it the reason I am more girl-like in emotions is because I am a CD?

Good question

That's a good question Brandy. I find when I'm dressed I'm much less aggressive than when I'm in male mode. It's been occurring to me lately that part of the reason I prefer to dress is to amplify my more feminine qualities.

[Danielle Gee]

I think it is the girl qualities about me that make me a much better man. I would not want to be 24/7, but as far as those emotions that I have and feel, it is now already 24/7. And I'm sure part of the reason I am a CD is those gentler feelings. Or is it the reson I am more girl-like in emotions is because I am a CD?

Good question

I agree with Brandy, I wouldn't want to be 24/7 either, but I'm feminine "inside".....At parties or get to gathers I shun the male conversations on sports, or politics or how big this or that woman’s breasts are. I really cringe when men refer to woman as "Bitches" (sounds like they're putting them in the same category as a female dog)

On the other hand, women seem to want to share some of the most intimate details of their lives with me. No, not because they're "coming-on" to me: But they seem to sense a kindred spirit.

Danielle

[Joanne f]

Socially it would not effect me at all and it would make my life a lot happier as i would not need to think about it all the time and changing physical gender would not mean to me that i have to change my way of life which i am sure some might not understand.

[BRANDYJ]

I agree with Brandy, I wouldn't want to be 24/7 either, but I'm feminine "inside".....At parties or get to gathers I shun the male conversations on sports, or politics or how big this or that woman’s breasts are. I really cringe when men refer to woman as "Bitches" (sounds like they're putting them in the same category as a female dog)

On the other hand, women seem to want to share some of the most intimate details of their lives with me. No, not because they're "coming-on" to me: But they seem to sense a kindred spirit.

Danielle

I tend to do the same thing Danielle. This reminds me of one day when I was in high school. A bunch of us guys were standing outside waiting for the bell to ring at the end of lunch. Then one of the known "easy" girls walked by. All the comments about her being a good piece of...you know what. They called her names like *****, **** etc. Everyone of them would be sweet to her face to face hoping that she would bed them. But behind her back, she was reduced to nothing. I listened to it and then got really pissed off and spoke up about how some of them had already had sex with her and how the rest would in a heart beat given a chance.I told them they are not one damn bit better then her and in fact, I did not like the conversation form a bunch of jerks and walked away.
Even at my age and the new era, men still seem to talk down about women with all sorts of uncomplimentary names and sexual talk.
I too seem to be a confidant to many female friends. I think they see a more understanding, compassionate gentleman in me. I feel honored to be treated with such hight regard as to be someone they can talk to.

[AlisonRenee]

Ever notice how easily you may fit into conversation with GGs when it comes to discussion of relationships? I do. There's a 19 yr old young woman in my world who's very interested in talking about this with me. Apparently I listen well and she likes what I think. I also find that women are interested in my opinion of clothes and accessories, and I'm often out shopping with them (for them) because they seem to like me around for that. The women in question don't know of my dressing, but there seems to be a connection anyway. We're more "one of the girls" than not in many ways.

I think the feminine nature comes out indirectly and does affect us in terms of fitting in socially.

[AlisonRenee]

... I'm sure part of the reason I am a CD is those gentler feelings. Or is it the reson I am more girl-like in emotions is because I am a CD?

Good question

I lean toward the former, at least for me. If I didn't feel "girl" the clothes wouldn't matter much. I dress to embrace and accept that part of me, so the clothes are only a matter of self-expression.

That gentler sense certainly affected my parenting in a good way. I'm paternal, but my maternal instincts are also very strong.

Some of you may have experienced this next one too - I recall once, when my daughter was tiny and still breast-feeding, she tried to nurse on me -- it was the middle of the night, I'd gotten up with her when she started crying, and I wasn't wearing a shirt when I held her in that instance. Pointless, of course, and I just laughed and gave her a bottle, but when that happened I recall that despite the momentary sense of awkwardness it lit up something positive in my inner self. Just for the instant, I think I realized something about me.

[vivianann]

I too hate it when men trash talk about women, I cannot relate with men at all. I have always been able to relate with the women, and when I am dressed as a woman the GG's whether they know me or not, accept me as one of their own much more so than if I were dressed as a male. In social gatherings I am always with the women.
If I could live 24/7 as a woman I would in a heartbeat, I already live as a woman when I am not working, for me the longest stretch of living as a woman full time was 3 month's, when I had to go back to work and dress as a male I was an emotional wreck, I was so comfortable in the feminine role that I did not want to change out of it, that whole experience of living full time for 3 month's was learning experience for me, especially when it came time to go back to the male role. If I lived as a female full time I know I would fit in socially, and for me when I was able to live the female role for the short 3 month's it was a very rewarding experience. I know I could fit in the female role full time. When I am dressed as a female I feel like I belong there, I am at home in the feminine role. For me the incentive to live as a female full time is very strong, and I am working toward getting my financial house in order so that I can assume the female role full time, it's taking alot longer than I have anticipated. Even though I am wanting to live full time as a woman and working toward that goal, I do NOT want a sex change operation, I am happy with that part of my anatomy.

[linnea]

An interesting line of question, Denise! I've thought of it often, especially since I've been out to my family and a few friends. Before telling any of them, I would have said that I thought that I could and would want to present myself as a woman 24/7, but now I am sure of it. I am very comfortable with myself as a woman (even though I know and acknowledge that genetically I am not one). I am comfortable with the look, with the feel of the clothing, with the social ramifications, and with the attitudes that I have faced and would face.
For Fathers' Day my daughter sent me the video of "TransAmerica"; I had not seen it before and I watched it last night. I'm going to watch it again today. It certainly deals with many of the social and familial issues that one may face.
I have progressed a long ways with this, partly due to the process that I've gone through in preparing to tell and telling my family and partly through the wonderful help that I have received from my therapist. I am on the verge of going further with my transition, and hope to be living female 24/7 in about a year. Whether I go through "the surgery" or not remains to be seen, but I am definitely comfortable with the emerging woman that I think I am.
Thanks for asking.

[tinalynn]

24/7 wouldn't work for me, although it would be neat for maybe a weekend, or a few days. But that would be all I could handle! I love dressing - pulling off the illusion - but want nothing to do with actually being a woman. While I realize that I do change a little when dressed, by and large my personality remains the same. And my personality is much more 'manly' and than womanly...

[Gingerbread]

When are they going to invent the magic gender reassignment machine and we could all just try out a gg body for a week, kinda like a test drive!

[alice clair]

I thoroughly enjoy my female personna but i am 24/7 in the sense that i wear only panties, i shave my whole body everyday and i am more emotional about somethings than most men are. I am such a feminist that i won't even go to a Hooters restaurant because i see it as exploitation of women for profit. I Don't know who else feels like that but i do. I was working an accident once 20 years ago and beat a guy up for taking a swing at his wife, they arrested him for assault and DUI. I recieved a commendation for helping out an officer of the law. But back to the question, No i would not be able to live as a full time woman including all amenities. Sorry if i ramble on but i do tend to talk too much as my wife has told me.


Michelle

[Dee2U]

I would prefer to live as a woman if I could be accepted, understanding that I do not pass in any real way. I too gravitate to the GGs in social situations and when I am in an all male grouping (as I was recently in a car driving to a work related event), I realise that I am not up on all the things they like to talk about. I enjoy the comfortable intimacy of women and feel I would be very comfortable with them permanently. I would probably also enjoy having men not assume I am part of their club.

As an aside - has anyone considered what it would be like to be accepted as androgynous; a feminine man who dresses to the occasion. Sometimes I feel that at least then I could relax socially....Dee

[AlisonRenee]

When are they going to invent the magic gender reassignment machine and we could all just try out a gg body for a week, kinda like a test drive!

well, maybe sometime in the future stem cell and genetic research would make a lot of things possible. Who knows what kind of custom, made-to-order replacement parts they could grow in the lab?

[Rianna Humble]

A lot of times here I see that many say they prefer their girl qualities and would rather display them than their guy qualities. Some even go as far as to say they hate the guy "self" and feelings and would much rather be the girl. My question is: If you got that accomplished would you really be able to fit into the female role socially?

That is a very good question which I am going to have to answer sooner rather than later. I know that a number of GG's looked upon my male persona as a kind of "big sister" (their words not mine), and although those who said I would make a good wife thought they were joking, perhaps not.

I am also lucky in that a close family friend who is roughly the same age as me has offered to help me during my transition.

Would you rather do it in a part time setting or a full time one? Could you fulfill that role 24/7 if necessary and how would that make you feel?

I would far rather do it full time than part time. I have to believe that I can fulfil the role 24/7 otherwise there is nothing to live for. Doing it 24/7 would make me feel whole for the first time.

I could do it if necessary but would need a good enough incentive to. How would you address this opportunity?

I am addressing it with a lot of careful thought and planning, with on-line friends, "real-life" friends, colleagues and management.

[Cheryl T]

If I were able to fit in socially and in the workplace fully then I would definitely be 24/7. It would make me feel complete.

[Victoria Anne]

this is a good question , though I believe this short awnser will suffice yes and I am working toward that goal it is the feminine that makes me who I am

[Bethany38]

I agree with Brandy, I wouldn't want to be 24/7 either, but I'm feminine "inside".....At parties or get to gathers I shun the male conversations on sports, or politics or how big this or that woman’s breasts are. I really cringe when men refer to woman as "Bitches" (sounds like they're putting them in the same category as a female dog)

On the other hand, women seem to want to share some of the most intimate details of their lives with me. No, not because they're "coming-on" to me: But they seem to sense a kindred spirit.

Danielle

Danielle this rang so true with me. From beginnig to end it is as if I were think of my self at parties, I sooo agree with the bitches thing. And women do tend to confide in me quite often. I also find it easier to talk to women. I am more at ease with women. That's cool I new we were friends for a reason..

[Kayla Shadows]

Everything takes time but Im sure I could slip into that role.Even if it isnt perfect,most times its just comfortable and feels good.My likes as far as clothes,jewelry and other things are much more of a womans than a mans.Sometimes is scares me that I actually realize that.Why,I dont know.Probably because Ive been pretending so long that it wasnt me that now Im just like,oh my god,ok,maybe it wasnt just my imagination that Im seriously very different.If I could be myself 24/7,I would feel happy.With the opportunity I would embrace it.

[Karinsamatha]

I think I could move to 24 7 very easy. I find that am overjoyed come the weekend I can't wait to dress appropriately. As many of you have said it is the time when we feel "correct".
It has become apparent that women are more likely to open up during conversation, and just want to be friends.
Do any of you find your selves to feel awkward and out of place when you are hanging out with the men? I know I do, and have for some time.

[vivianann]

Karin I feel so out of place when in a room or other gathering of men, I just want to get the hell out of there, I dont know what to say, I dont like sports and I dont know anything about the current sports scene. I am glad to know there are others out there like me. Now put me in a room full of women and I fit right in, especially when I am dressed as a woman.

[~Michelle~]

I shun the male conversations on sports

Karin I feel so out of place when in a room or other gathering of men, I just want to get the hell out of there, I dont know what to say, I dont like sports and I dont know anything about the current sports scene.

Just because you have no interest in sports doesn't mean that this is a sign of being feminine.

[abigail43]

Yes I much prefer to be dressed 24/7 and I want to be dressed and live life as a woman so I am taking steps and looking at transitioning I have an appointment with my doctor this morning to discuss seeing a psychiatrist about an evaluation