We have another set of questions from our GG's'. If this applys to you and can give some insight thank you in advance. We appreciate everyones input these past 11 weeks.
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
29) How does it affect you mentally?
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
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I've heard the term "dysphoria" tossed around -- in fact, a therapist once diagnosed me as having "atypical gender dysphoria" -- but tonight I decided I should look it up. According to wikipedia, dysphoria is the opposite of euphoria. It's an uncomfortable mood, such as sadness or restlessness.
I don't think I've ever had a moment of gender dysphoria. I have a highly variable gender identity, and I've certainly suffered shame and anxiety as a result, but sadness or restlessness? No, I can't identify with that.
Just wanting to clarify a bit -- hope I'm not spoiling the conversation!
*** Jenna ***
(Blogging about gender at jennawillow.wordpress.com)
It is difficult to say with certainty what is cause and what is effect for me. A typical person with my brain chemistry issues would have been pretty much healed after a couple years; it has been much longer for me so far and I'm only partly healed.
The medical explanation given was that parts of my brain are in conflict with other parts, and two or more of the 11 catelogued brain centers that deal with gender are probably amongst the parts in conflict. Such a conflict, over a sufficient period (decades) could easily have triggered the medical crises I eventually had. What is not known is whether gender issues were "primary" or "contributing" factors.
Please excuse me if I do not go into further health details in an open forum.
I can, though, say that when I discovered cross-dressing that it was completely amazing how much of a difference it made to my mental and physical health: where I could barely leave the house normally and could barely plan, I could go out cross-dressed and in less than an hour I would realize I was feeling like I was back to normal. I was a wreck -- except when I cross-dressed.
These days... I don't know, it is hard to catelog. I know that I must do it to stay healthy and balanced. I'll leave it at that at the moment because I'm tired and allergic to something where I am staying and those factors are clouding my judgemnt.
I will try to answer, but questions 28 and 29 have some overlap for me.
28) My Gender Dysphoria has in the past led to lack of sleep it also leads me to feel physically sick when I have to pretend to be a man. This is where there could be overlap because although I want to throw up, that could just be psychological.
29) Mentally, it has affected me in differing ways. The inability to see myself in the traditional male role in a relationship led me to push away a GG with whom I fell in love in the 1980s and who (I believe) loved me. In general, it has hampered my ability to form meaningful relationships. More recently, doing battle with the dysphoria led me to contemplate suicide.
30) Understanding and compassion are the things I need (and am generally finding) now that I am dealing with the dysphoria.
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This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
[QUOTE=Di;2192087]
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
I am not sure that i understand this question and the whole term Gender Dysphoria is a bit alien to me but i have a constant battle within me to change my physical self
29) How does it affect you mentally?
It depress`s the life out of me it affects every thing i do and where i go , a constant longing to be able to do things that i feel i cannot do , everything in my mind is planed to do as one thing but has to be done as another and sometimes is scares me as i have considered some very stupid things .And because of it i live on a knife edge were the slightest things can send me the wrong way when this just would not happen to a normal person
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it
No one can help it is something only i can/will deal with .
Last edited by Joanne f; 06-28-2010 at 12:48 PM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
It seems to me that there are at least a few different degrees of cross-dressing, so it would probably be helpful for everyone to give some context about where they are in terms of gender identity.
Anyways, I lean more towards dressing for fun, though I am considering transitioning.
Here are my experiences:
28) I haven't felt any physical or physiological effects at all yet.
29) Sometimes I feel a pretty strong urge to dress up and go out.
Also, most of my daydreams tend toward dressing now.
Other than that, I haven't really been affected.
30) I haven't had a tough time with it. But when I first went out, I was pretty nervous.
I made a couple of friends, and some of them were pretty curious.
Being able to talk honestly about it and answer their questions made me feel a lot better.
Some people would probably feel differently though.
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
Others have mentioned the sick feeling. On a bad day, just the sight of body hair can make me feel nausueous.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
Most of the effect is of course mental. My reaction on any given day can range from sadness to anger to thoughts of suicide. I don't have a great deal of body dysphoria but the longer I dress, and the better I look, the worse that seems to get. I suppose my most frequent experience is extreem envy when I see an attractive, vibrant, woman going about her day. Just knowing that will never really be me induces a great sadness in me.
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
I'm not sure how anything outside your own brain can help you with such an integral problem. Just be aware it's my problem and not caused by you or anyone else. Being treated like a female, and doing typical and fun things can help at least distract me. Being understanding and not defensive is probably the best stance for a GG.
Sally
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
I am not sure that I really fit in the gender dysphoria group, But I guess that covers a broad range of people. There has really been no physical effects, that I am aware of anyway.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
Sometimes it can be stressful, Because I want to dressup, and can't get the time. But at other times. I do get to dressup and it is a total stress relief. So it all washes out.
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
Just stand there with me and be my friend, regardless of how I am dressed.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
I have kept my hair shaved from head to toe mostly for the past 20 years or more.
I have tried in vain to make parts of me look more feminine, but not outwardly to
out myself. I've kept toe nails polished for weeks on end at times. Eyebrows thinned
slightly to look more feminine when I dress, but not enough to raise suspicion.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
It has held me back in some small ways I suppose. Questioning my masculinity to
some small degree. Like to I measure up as a man to the women I've loved and been
married to. So it makes me question my own masculinity at times. But not enough to
cause myself much alarm. I'm basically happy being me. I think I have more feminine
mental traits or emotions. More loving, giving, caring, nurturing, and accepting...
The way many if not most of us, think women are better then men in those areas.
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
Just accept me for me being me. For those close to me, let me pretty much dress and act feminine and not make an issue of it. Be real, be honest and don't lie about how they really feel about me having a dual gender.
Up until the time that I accepted myself as TG, I struggled with this immensely. After I finally reached that level of acceptance, I think that issue is gone and now I have the other issues. None of which are related to TG.
I think the only thing that a GG can do is help to guide a person through the maze and find acceptance. Their is no step by step instructions as everyone is different. So it has to be a trial and error process.
Michelle
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
It doesn't. I'm a crossdresser and I like both sides of me..
29) How does it affect you mentally?
It doesn't, though I do like being the women
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
I can always use more clothes! Shoes, I want more heels! Make up. I can't afford Mac. Glue
thanks for making me thinkOriginally Posted by Di
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
As a child i always had a case of gynachomastia, which in and of itself doesn't mean i am a girl, but it always was on my mind...should i have been a girl.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
Now that i have accepted niki as a big part of my being[ i know and see what she looks like etc.....i find it depressing, if i am in one state of mind...[ acting naturally, which is more fem] and i see this guy looking back as i pass a mirror. it is very disconcerting to me.
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
Karen, my wife, will often see me become frustrated. she will calmly say go upstairs and put something on to make you feel better. Don't come down until you are in a proper state of mind...even if you have to fully dress and do your make up. make sure when you come down...you have a pretty smile on your face.
this often changes my mood imensley
Last edited by msniki48; 06-27-2010 at 07:54 PM.
Week 11
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
I don't believe that I have gender dysphoria. I believe that occurs when one cannot reconcile their physical and emotional realities. For the last 20 years I've been pretty clear that I am essentially male, but with some degree of female sensibilities. I'm pretty comfortable with that and haven't felt any need to change it.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
As above...
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
Not a problem...
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
I'm not sure that it does affect me physically. Good question.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
It creates an insane amount of confusion in life, when I was a child, and later as a teenager, it caused my to go through serious episodes of depression, as well as a lot of difficulty in adolescence in questioning who I was, and why I was the way I was. It impaired my pychosocial development of Identity vs. role confusion. This in turn caused a relapse of the depression, and of course all of this led to about a decade of social isolation.
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
Professionals with experience, later on friends who were empathetic and understanding, and later still a wife who was completely accepting. Mostly in the early years, it was my drive to understand myself that got me through the depression, and helped me to advance psychologically. The best thing to help someone with gender dysphoria, is to not judge, and listen.
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
The stress of constantly subconsciously fighting the desire to dress and act female results in defense mechanisms and an eating disorder. The weight changes cause arthritis and a risk for all health disorders related to being overweight, and drastic weight shifts. I have high blood pressure that varies depending on my weight, an enlarged heart, joint problems from accellerated wear (both from weight and overactivity in sports to suppress the thoughts associated with the desire to crossdress). So far, no heart attacks, strokes, or diabetes.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
Decreased concentration, memory problems, depression. Emotionally labile; I'm prone to crying when presented with any either happy or sad events or even from just watching TV or listening to songs. The stress of suppressing my thoughts, as well as the stress induced by the lack of any mental or physical affection weighs heavily on me. Even the sight of an attractive female disturbs my concentration on other things, as I wonder what it would be like if I were her mate.
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
Not much. It would probably require letting me dress and act the way I want, which if I indulged those things in public would bring on an entirely new set of stress inducing problems. Frequent hugs help; but note, due to my extreme revulsion to males, even when embracing another male at such times as funerals is quite uncomfortable for me. So with no close female companions, I'm forced to pay for all my physical contact, even though it never includes sex of any kind. It results in my being broke much of the time, with no savings to speak of.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
28. I have a lot of anxiety and depression. I feel tired a lot. I also have a hard time concentrating.
29. See above.
30. I think if my wife encouraged my crossdressing, gender expression, everything female. I think the more I am able to do it, the less stress I'll have.
First I'd like to say that I do not frequently suffer from depression. I'm generally an up-beat person. The only times that I can consider myself as suffering from "gender dyphoria" is when I get frustrated at not being able to dress up enfemme for long periods of time, or when I get frustrated at not being able to look as good/feminine as I want too. And even then, my naturally up-beat nature usually bring be out of it. So...
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
I don't feel sick, but I do attempt to alter myself to look more feminine: plucked eye brows, epilated arms, long shaped finger nails...
29) How does it affect you mentally?
The same as any other frustration.
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
The suport of a loving wife would be nice. Oh, I've got the loving wife, just not the suport in crossdressing.
Mina Lost aka Lynda
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
Well to be honest I think I control it pretty good most of the time but some days it does get the best of me and I feel like I let my family down
29) How does it affect you mentally?
Sometimes, I think I am robbing my family of some happiness that could be spent together. Then other times I am thinking only about myself (Selfish)
When I do get to dress complete an OMG feeling comes over me and I cannot stop smiling because this is me and I really enjoy the feeling I have about being me
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
I think If I did not worry so much about the negative reactions that I would get from my family I would be a much more enjoyable person to be around. I am simply happier when I don't think about how others will react. So the answer here is just accept me for me and love me.
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically.
It doesn't. I am quite pleased to find myself embracing both genders.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
My only issue is that life is so complex and full that my feminine self does not get to express itself in a meaningful way. Someday we just need to sort this out
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
Run interference with life to give Tina the time she needs to have a meaningful existence.
tina
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically?
I try and not develop male characteristics. I won't do weights to bulk up and I don't do things that I believe will alter my legs. At this point I don't think either are a concern.
29) How does it affect you mentally?
I tend to mentally be more adversarial when I see what I perceive as injustice and I mentally identify with women on many things
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
I don't worry about it
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
28) How does gender dysphoria affect you physically? (and mentally)
If gender dysphoria means discontent with my birth-gender, then certainly, I looked at myself in the mirror when I was younger, and /SAW/ an ugly person looking back at me. I was never a sports aficionado, I didn't do the big 'competition thing', and I felt I would rather be a skinny, attractive, non-muscle-bound person. I was never the type to be physically outgoing, and as some might have already said, I fought back against the norm, and was certainly not the most traditional man out there.
I suppose that, my mental state led me to live a life physically not like the average 'jock' or strength-focused man, thus my body developed weaker and more fragile physical frame.
Now, as I continue to transition, my dysphoria, I feel, is fading away some, because I don't feel like I have to be this man on the outside anymore. I have been given the ability to present to the world the woman that I've been hiding inside for decades, and so therefore my external facade is beginning to align with my internal being. Thus my mental state has had a significant effect on my physical state, and so my Gender Dyphoria has, in the end, led me to physically transition.
30) What can anyone do to help you when you are dealing with it?
The more people are exposed to Gender-fluid and -diverse people, the more they begin to understand roughly what causes us to do the things we do. This would, hopefully, lead them to accept that we are who we are, and that we're not some sexually-charged pervert just looking for kicks. I speak only for myself of course, but as my dysphoria continues to drive me to live my life fulltime in the femme, then I would ask that all my friends and family accept me as such, and know that I've never been happier in my life before. Stop, Listen, Learn. We all have something to say, and many are not like the others. Hear our stories, appreciate our strengths, hold our hands through the weaknesses, and stand beside us when we need you most.
#28 I really don't believe I have gender dysphoria I know who and what i am and enjoy it
#29 refer to my answer to #28
#30 refer to my answer to #28
Hugs and kisses Brenda
I think I would have to combine these two together as my answer sort of affects both. For me, I am not comfortable in either gender. I often feel like half a man and like a joke as a woman. Mentally it leaves me unhappy either way I go, and as overly dramatic as it may sound, I'm mentally and physically exhausted from the effort. Physically I wish I were an impressive male AND I wish I were an impressive female - the two are incompatible.
Say you love me and give me a hug? Not much that is better than that when your hurting. . .
Last edited by TxKimberly; 07-02-2010 at 09:24 AM. Reason: fix quotes
athis post question gives me gender dysphoria!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]"All things in moderation"[SIZE="3"][/SIZE]
No. Not at all and not applicable.
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