I kinda want to stop

[Megan70]

Sue, you present a well fonded extremely intelligent post that looks at the other " possible" side of the coin that many of us ' career' CD's could never agree with you on. When I first read the heading on the post I was one who was going to jump in on you and say " good luck sister , it ain't gonna happen'. But as you say , I'm speaking from my vantage point and that of the majority and not really considering how YOU feel and how you can handle wants and needs in life. They may be all far different than us. I'm glad my college education of eons ago taught me to look at peoples opinions and thought with an open mind especially in your case when you can back it up with great thinking and writing. Kudos to you Sue...
But respectivefully disagree.
A liberal thinker and proud of it...
Megan

[CDKaitlynn]

Although I agree there is no "cure." It is like anything else you have personally discovered or enjoy. You can certainly stop. But in the absence of good luck and consistent relationships (called downtime, we all have it sometimes), you will start again. If you are at home with free time and no one to call the thought WILL come to you, and most likely you WILL dress. The best thing to do is to accept it and maintain a community like the caring gurls here, and even if you are away for a while and come back, these gurls will welcome you back.

HOWEVER, and based on current social status quo many of you will not like this, but i believe it is the most successful alternative and is actually a real "cure." I like to help...
omg, im soo going to be alienated for this.

A reasonable cure is a personal pursuit of faith, and finding help in (your) God to help you meet your personal goals. (if this is to work you have to believe and be genuinely dedicated to your personal goals). For those of you without a religious background, this in no way infers that crossdressing is a sin, is rejected by God, or is in any way "bad" or something that God does not want you to do. Asking God's help while feeling guilty but still genuinely interested in something can actually have a back-firing effect in the future...

In other words, dont ask for help due to personal guilt, but if you feel you can have a better life without it, because your situation is contradictory to crossdressing and what you want to stop dressing for is to help enable a life that you think could be compromised by your dressing, (through no fault of your own), then there is a possibility that this can be a "cure."

This is a life long pursuit and if done for the right reasons then the success that you experience in this matter can be cumulative and re-assuring. When your talks with God and the help you ask for leads you to meet your goals and curb your unwanted desires it can give you confidence, feelings of success and self-assurance, while you are grateful for your past experiences in the matter and see the healthy side of it, you have made a decision for yourself to stop because you think it will be healthier FOR YOU.

Just totally ignore this is it doesnt make sence right away.

Kaity

[sherib]

I wish there was a cure, if there was I would have stop when I was younger. But it seem that no matter how many times I've tried, it always returns and being dressed digs deeper into me that before. I think we've all gone through the "not wanting to wear womens clothes" to throwing them or puging as its called. Then after the purge, it may not be wright away, but the feeling will hit you again and its hits you deeper than it did before. Every time you purge, the feeling is deeper the next time you you "HAVE too get dressed". Good luck on whatever you decide.

[CamilleLeon]

If you enjoy it, why would you want to stop? Dressing in women's clothes does nothing to change the male side of you. Wearing a skirt won't make you femme, you have to do that yourself. If being a guy most of the time brings you happiness, then good. You should do that. But if you feel the desire to dress up, don't repress it because you're afraid that will make you less of a man.

[Beth-Lock]

I am not sure about the statement, "Wearing a skirt won't make you femme." In one sense of the meaning of 'being femme,' it may lead to a progression at the end of which you may want to dress full time and acquire as many as possible of the other features of being of the other gender. This is not yet accepted by the professionals, but it seems to be a belief current among many in the TG community.
Does anybody else have a comment on this?

[CamilleLeon]

While an interesting theory, I think one has more control of his or her life than that. Wearing a skirt may lead you to dress more fully because you realize it's something you enjoy, but I believe it would never be out of your hands. If dressing fully is something you want to do, wearing a skirt may help you realize that. If it is not something you want to do, then dressing occasionally won't push you any deeper than you want to go.

[NicoleScott]

Kaitlynn, brave of you to post your comments, but I don't think you'll be alienated. I mostly agree with what you say. Mostly. Where I disagree with you is where you said you set your goals and ask for God's help in reachiing them.
There's an old saying, and it has even landed in a song or two: if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.
Maybe God's plan for this person is not to "cure" crossdressing, but to rely on Him to get through the challenges associated with crossdressing (and all of life's other challenges). When you submit to God's will, you do so without preconditions.

[DonnaT]

I am not sure about the statement, "Wearing a skirt won't make you femme." In one sense of the meaning of 'being femme,' it may lead to a progression at the end of which you may want to dress full time and acquire as many as possible of the other features of being of the other gender. This is not yet accepted by the professionals, but it seems to be a belief current among many in the TG community.
Does anybody else have a comment on this?

I've worn skirts for 45 years, and they haven't made me femme.

Yes, some do move further along the gender continuum with their dressing, but they usually get to a certain point and stay there. Others continue to make changes.

we are all different, and not everyone is predisposed to be more femme just because they cross dress.

[Carly D.]

I understand all you have said about wanting to stop cross dressing.. Go a head and stop.. If you think you can.. I've stopped with the exact same reasons you have given to quit as well, and it came back.. It happens, and try as you might to give it up, if you really like any aspect of it then you will return eventually.. They aren't lying on this site when they say that fact.. I have stopped so many times, so many excuses to stop.. So many times I felt like I will NEVER do that again and it just.. happens.. So figure out a way to live with it.. Curb it all you want.. But know that something will lure you back.. Either a certain smell, the sight of a woman wearing something you think you could wear.. something.. it happens..

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="3"]Yes, by all means you can stop. Just like people who quit smoking, you can quit dressing. It's just a mind set, you decide and you never go back. It's pretty much the same as quitting a drug addiction or alcohol. You stop and you never start again. You end it.

Just keep in mind that when you can't have something, it becomes an almost irresistible force in your life, and it can last for years. You don't just resist it, you must shut it down completely with never a thought of starting again.

Just today, after 12 years, I caught myself thinking how good a cigarette would taste and feel. I had smoked for 40 years. You just shut it down and bring back to mind all the reasons why you no longer wish to follow that path. That's how it's done in a nutshell. I'm sure there are folks here who have quit strong addictions who know better than I. I'm just trying to prepare you for what it is going to take, and trust me, it's not all that hard, just takes a real commitment.

The key to my quitting smoking after my heart attack, was that I convinced myself that if I continued smoking I would die and not get to see my daughter grow up. My quitting smoking also cost me a miserable marriage and just over half of my net worth. That's another story. Suffice it to say I'm a very happy girl these days.[/SIZE]

[NathalieX66]

I am a private male to female crossdresser, but I want to stop because I have lived as a guy my whole life, enjoy many aspects of being a guy, play baseball, have a muscular body, and love going out to the clubs with my masculine body to meet girls. I dont want to end up looking feminine and losing all of that, it's way too risky and I am very unsure if I would enjoy being a woman in real life because I'm tall and look very male-like when I crossdress.

Is there any hypnosis that can be done, or therapy that can break my crossdressing ways, and make me completely male? I feel like I'm living as both sexes right now, but am favoring being a male.

This is gonna get me booted off the forum, or even deleted for saying this, buth there are groups like NARTH & Dr. Nicolosi that claim that they can rehabilitate those with crossdressing & transgender inclinations.

Personally, I think it's bunk, and I say that with pride. The human imagination is what it is. That is a fact that can never be denied. My advice is just find yourself and figure out who you really are and make that that big glass of lemonade with the lemons you have. You don't have to be a transsexual, or a full-timer, just find that balance on your spectrum of who you are, and where your center is. Everyone is different.

[Chickhe]

What worked for me... I confronted what was scaring me in my life and I learned to accept CDing. I think CDing was a way for me to escape the world in times of stress. I still feel feminine some days, but I don't feel I have to dress. It seems the compulsion is stronger the more you deny it. If you incorporate it somehow, then there is no need to get rid of it because it is just part of who you are. I do dress up sometimes for fun, but I feel I can stop for extended periods, maybe forever, but there is nothing wrong with doing it so, why stop? Some things you can do... subtle personal grooming (reduce body hair, trim brows, practice femine voice, take up female hobbie, reading CD stories) these things might let you feel femine without needing to dress... and no one can read your mind. Good luck!

[k lynn]

I am muscular myself and enjoy weightlifting fishing riding mymotorcyle andhave no desire to become a woman but I do wear panties and a bra everyday along with female jeans just hate male clothes plus I have female traits and they show daily in my acts.have been to coulening and after much soul searching this is me wish you the best of luck

[eluuzion]

Well, "I Dream of Jeanie" went off the air years ago.

The only people with "half a chance" at running away from "themselves" are schizophrenics. Since you do not even refer to yourself in the third person yet, the prospects of that are not too bright either...

Hey, there is no rule in the CD manual that says you can't arm wrestle on the week-ends, lol. There is also no rule requiring you to choose A or B. You can take em' both. Just put them both in your toy box and only play with one at a time. I thought about tossing out my carry-on luggage when I quit traveling and got married.

As it turned out, I actually ended up using it again afterall. Some things are worth keeping for a back-up instead of just tossing them out. I do not crave things that I just "put away" for "awhile" nearly as much as those items I "threw away"...

just a thought...

[Sweeterica]

I dont know if others agree with me but why are you worried about going feminine,its only dressing,i myself like many here are very happy being full blown males,CDing is our little bit of escape it doesnt mean we have to loose our male interests,now if you feel someway unsure about your gender thats a different thing,just keep doing what you are and enjoy it works for me.

[victoriamwilliams1]

The answer is no! and if it was a way and I know I have tried to stop myself and if there was a way to stop I know some would take it and some would not even think about it.

I know some stop with out going back and I know that even myself I have slowed down due to working.

[AKAMichelle]

None that I have ever found. You will find ebbs and flows to cd'ing though. The thing you need to deal with is accepting both sides so they won't be so hard on you. You can still be a cd'er and spend most of your time as a male and be very happy.

[JulieC]

[SIZE="3"]Just like people who quit smoking, you can quit dressing. ... drug addiction or alcohol. ...[/SIZE]

I've seen crossdressing equated to an addiction before. The problem is, there's no medical evidence to conclude that crossdressing is an addiction, and therefore can be 'treated' using addiction therapy methods.

You are of course welcome to your beliefs. I have mine as well.

Science has shown that the brains of at least some MtF transsexuals have a similar physical construct to GGs. Does that make their desire to dress in female attire an addiction?

I don't consider myself an MtF transsexual. I consider myself bigendered. There is precious little research into this area of humanity. I believe that crossdressers (not femme impersonators, or people crossdressing for a lark, but the kind of people you find here on this forum) are born with crossdressing as part of who they are.

This forum is filled with the stories of crossdressers who started crossdressing at a very early age. It seems apparent to me that it isn't something being picked up as an addiction.

There are a number of people here on this forum who have attempted to repress crossdressing, and ended up with rather severe psychological problems as a result.

If it were possible to permanently quit crossdressing, the people on this forum would know about it. Many of us wouldn't try, but many of us would. If there was a successful means of doing so, it would be out there and known to this community. There would be support groups for post-dressing crossdressers. By the most conservative estimates, there are more than a million crossdressers in the U.S. alone. If even 1% had managed to cure themselves through whatever means, that'd be 10,000 post-dressing crossdressers. There'd be meetings, forums, therapy groups, etc. But none of those things exists. None.

Meanwhile, there's support groups for alcoholics, drug addicts, porn addicts, and all sorts of addictions.

It's not scientific, but the presence of all those addiction support groups and the lack of any such groups for crossdressers speaks volumes.

You could just as well say homosexuality is an addiction that anyone can get over if they just try hard enough.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="3"]Maybe a little correction is called for here. I never said that crossdressing is an addiction. I said that about quitting dressing, "it is pretty much the same as quitting a drug addiction or alcohol". There's a vast difference there. Quote me accurately, or don't quote me at all.

I've never thought of CDing as an addiction. That's dumb. I have no idea what it is, but I do feel strongly that you can stop it, or suppress it, or anything else you want to call it because I firmly believe that we humans have control over our own destinies. That is a fundamental concept of the human experience. We can change any way we wish. It's simply a matter of doing so and sticking with it, just like "quitting a drug addiction or alcohol".

To say that you cannot change something about yourself is to admit that you are a victim of your own impulses, etc. Even so called "dumb" animals can do better that. Sorry, but I chose to not be a victim and to run my life as I wish. I'm in charge here, thanks!

And another thought on assumptions on this forum that people who quit crossdressing will happily report in here that they've quit. If you think that that is going to happen, then take a look at all the people who no longer post on this forum. I guess then that we can also assume that they have quit CDing. Why on earth would anyone who has quit want to come back here and tell us? Coming back here would be like an ex-alcoholic hanging out in a bar! Personally I'd run the other direction. [/SIZE]

[JulieC]

[SIZE="3"]Maybe a little correction is called for here. I never said that crossdressing is an addiction. I said that about quitting dressing, "it is pretty much the same as quitting a drug addiction or alcohol". There's a vast difference there. Quote me accurately, or don't quote me at all.

I've never thought of CDing as an addiction. That's dumb. I have no idea what it is, but I do feel strongly that you can stop it, or suppress it, or anything else you want to call it because I firmly believe that we humans have control over our own destinies. That is a fundamental concept of the human experience. We can change any way we wish. It's simply a matter of doing so and sticking with it, just like "quitting a drug addiction or alcohol".

To say that you cannot change something about yourself is to admit that you are a victim of your own impulses, etc. Even so called "dumb" animals can do better that. Sorry, but I chose to not be a victim and to run my life as I wish. I'm in charge here, thanks![/SIZE]

This presumes that something can be changed. No matter how hard to try, no matter how many hours, days, years you put into it, you are not going to change your blood type. Some things about yourself you can NOT change, no matter how hard you try.

Calling CDing an addiction or not is really irrelevant here. My point was that treating it like an addiction is fraught with problems. It's just as problematic as using aspirin to treat an ingrown toenail. Except, in the case of psychology, the effects could be disastrous. Several members of this forum have reported just that.

Can you stop dressing? Maybe. I know of nobody that's been successful in doing so. But, I'll allow it's possible. But doing so could be quite hazardous to the person making the attempt.

I also see sooooooooooo many stories here of people who said "I can stop if I want to", and purge. Purging is the absolute least of their problems. Time and time again we read about people who purged, got married, figured they were 'cured' and could stop it permanently. How many times does this course of action have to be shown to be riddled with problems?

[bimini1]

I think with me it might stop one day on it's own. Everyone is different. Some folks might reach a ceiling with it, with no where else to go.

I would say it's about what do you want to get out of it? That is something only we can answer for ourselves personally I haven't answered it yet,lol.

[docrobbysherry]

I've heard this type of self therapy does WONDERS!!

When u feel like slipping on some hose and heels, u bite into a red hot chili! All u can think about is your burning lips!

U REALLY want to buy that cute dress! But, u give the money to charity instead! Too broke to shop now!

U feel compelled to dress to the 9's on Sat. Instead, u help your neighbor clean his garage! After, you're WAY too tired to do anything but shower, dinner, then bed!

[NicoleScott]

Doc, maybe my dad didn't have any hot peppers when I was caught playing with lipstick at about age 7. He held me down and applied lipstick on me while humiliating me, saying things like "now doesn't that look pretty". Of course, I did the obligatory cry and token resistance. Must have worked, because I've hardly touched the stuff since.

[Rebecca W.]

When I stop, my feminine desires just build up and then the implusive purchases occur to fulfill my desires. I have found that when I dress on a regular basis, it tempers my anger level and the daily stresses in life.
To me it is a gift to be able to have two sides to balance my dominate male side. It requires no medication to relieve stress and you will look great dressed in something opposite of your "normal" attire. For me, when I dress life just slows down and it feels normal, like it should be all of the time.
I have fought and I am still fighting my "urge" to dress. Why, I cannot answer that, that is why I am here. I have not dressed in four months and all I do now is look online for a pretty dress. I have had this desire to be a CD for my entire life and I need to embrace it and work a balance into my life to dress.
I have never regretted joining this forum, it is my inner battle to express my feminine side that is my downfall.

[eluuzion]

Is there any hypnosis that can be done, or therapy that can break my crossdressing ways, and make me completely male? I feel like I'm living as both sexes right now, but am favoring being a male.

The hair on the back of my neck always stands out when I read/hear this kind of "plea" from anyone. Not that there is anything "wrong" with the content or desire...but from a personal safety aspect.

There are many "groups" out there that love to "chat" with folks in your "frame of mind". They all have "exactly what you are looking for" to improve your life. They are always eager to "save" you. A few months later you are speaking a whole new "language" with key words and phrases only the group can translate...etc.etc...

You know..."self-improvement" seminars, groups...
I just refer to them affectionately as CULTS...!!

Nothing wrong with looking for help when you need it. It's an option we all should take when we need it. We just need to be cautious about which forests we search in...

just a thought,

Good Luck,

""mom""....lol