What if you had taken them up on the offer?

[Rita D]

Rita...did you ever discuss these messages with your mother? Does she/did she know of your dressing later in life?[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

No Veronica- My Mom is still with us, but it has never been discussed, and to my knowledge she has absolutely no idea about Rita. Have often thought about bringing it up; but have also just as quickly dismissed the idea, thinking it could cause more hurt to HER. After all, I've accepted who I am now, MY pain is in the past- seems as though it would be vindictive of me to go that route.

ReineD-Thank you for your compassionate words on this subject.

[Danni Bear]

happened when 14 said ok and never looked back been out for 48 yrs now

[JOJO44]

This is a fascinating example of parental discipline exerted by means of peer pressure. The parent is saying, in essence, "Your friends will laugh at you and make fun of you." That part is true, and it's useful information. But the other implication is, "And your friends would be right. I'm on their side, not on your side!"

I'm still hoping to find a copy of that old cartoon ... the mother is sitting in a chair beside the bed, and a cute 12-year-old girl is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking cheerful and perky, and the mother is saying, "We need to talk about your future, John."

See, that's how it should be. The parent should be saying, "Your friends will have a problem with this, and you need to understand that -- but I'm on your side."

How sad that that doesn't happen!

Jenna Lynne

I saw that cartoon just this past week!
Now I have to go back in my mind (what's left of it) and try to find it.
I was on the internet, so now something to do tonite (after my grandson's birthday party.

Jo

[AmandaM]

You girls are lucky. I got beat.

[Susan4]

The two seminal experiences of my youth were 1) moving from a small town to a big city at the end of grade seven and 2) my mother discovering me dressed one day and 'asking' me if I wanted her to tell my Dad.

In the first instance, I didn't just change schools. I had been home ill for a couple of months before we moved. It was a pretty complete break. New school, new friends ... a long way away.

A couple of years late, when my mom asked me her question ... I remember thinking, 'Yes, please tell him ... let's get this out in the open' I had used the move as the basis for a fantasy about my medical problem involving my gender dysphoria and had dreamed for months about not just moving and changing schools but starting a new life ... showing up for grade 8 not just as the new kid ... but the new girl. If she told him .. maybe this dream fantasy could be made real.

What I said, however, was 'No, don't tell Dad' ....

Had I had the courage then that I have now, the knowledge of the pink fog and the benefits of starting female hormones at or before puberty ... what a different it could have made.

To be fair, tho ... I didn't know any of that. I thought I was alone ... and, I suppose, the world being quite different in my youth ... the last thing that would have happened was that my mom and dad would have sought out the counsel of a sympathetic medical community.

Sigh ... so ... I suppose the universe had to unfold as it did.

As someone suggested earlier ... I can only hope that I made a different decision in one of the parallel universes.

Hugs
Susan

[Frédérique]

Similar things happened in my teen years when my mum said stuff like, 'do you want to put this dress on you and make you go to school wearing it?', as she held up the dress she had found stashed in my room.
Naturally I think that each and every one of us in this situation shivered and quaked with fear and may have even cried as we said 'No'.
But what if we had answered 'Yes'. What if we had called their bluff.
I can't say if she would have done it, but I know it would have ended up badly and physically painfully.

[SIZE="2"]I was never in that movie. It was impossible to hide anything from my mother, which may explain my late CD blossoming, but I was “reading the part” for years and years. I was never hiding female clothing from anyone when I was in school – I didn’t have any, didn’t have access to any, and I could barely dream about someday fulfilling my dream of crossdressing by actually owning some. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as crossdressing!

If I did have a dress stashed away somewhere during my youth (oh, ecstasy!), my mother probably would’ve found it, but I know she would not have come up with the idea of “driving the girl out of me” by making me wear it in public. My father was hands-off during my formative years, so he was negated from the equation. As long as I pulled weeds in his garden, he was happy, but I need to say that both of my parents were older, more tired, and less inclined to pay attention to the things I was doing. It’s a long story, but the need to crossdress and the desire to be more effeminate grew out of this familial situation – I’m glad it did, but if I had sisters closer in age imbued with imagination, I certainly would’ve been crossdressing much sooner. I can visualize my older sister, who I’m still living with, sheltering me from the prying eyes of my mother as I (we) experimented with gender via clothing. Alas, it never happened…

To get back to the OP, where I went to school (New England), a boy wearing a dress to school is unimaginable. Peer pressure, specifically in the form of physical abuse, would have scared me out of trying the exercise, even though I was already ostracized by other factors and solitary by my un-ness (and choice). Hypothetically, I wonder if it would be possible to extinguish the desire to crossdress merely by immersing me in a cruel world. What else is new? The innate need to be different and wear the appropriate clothing to express it grew out of the world as I experienced it. It (crossdressing) is not a fly-by-night operation that can be dismissed – it has a strong foundation derived from one’s nature. Frankly, I would be terrified to wear a dress to school, mainly because I don’t want to see, hear, or feel the abuse – maybe I would make a connection with someone, or learn something about my sexuality, or simply paint myself deeper into the corner of life. Who knows, but I’m sure my mother would’ve protected her little boy at all costs… [/SIZE]

[DonnaT]

I used to think about getting caught all the time. I even did things trying to get caught, although not very hard. One day my mom did catch me in her bra.

I was ordered out of it, but she said nothing else. She told my dad that evening. He asked about it, but I basically evaded answering. Mainly because I didn't want my four brothers overhearing.

Nothing more was said. No threats, etc. But I kept wishing that my mom would borrow some teenage girl clothes from the neighbor and make me wear them.

She found my stash, but never mentioned it.

Five years ago I came out to her. She asked why, and I told her everything. She apparently had no recollection of past events.

But she was quite accepting, has given me clothes and jewelry.

[sissystephanie]

My mother died when I was very young, and my grandmother took care of my sister and I while our dad worked. Quite often I was dressed in my sisters clothes to play in. Since our play group was all girls except for me, it seemed O.K. to me. Of course I loved wearing panties too!! Surprisingly, my Dad, an Army vet, never said a thing about my girly clothes!

[carrie-ann]

I snuck my sisters clothes when i could. I was beat up every day in school. So if I would have got caught and gave the choice of what to wear I would have been in girls clothing as fast as possible. I was already tormented everyday anyway. What more could they do me!

[Toni_Lynn]

But I kept wishing that my mom would borrow some teenage girl clothes from the neighbor and make me wear them.

--sigh-- THAT is something that I certainly wished for and prayed for every night as I knelt next to my bed. Not necessarily that she would 'make me wear them' but that she 'allow me to wear them'.

Nowadays as I lay in bed at night falling asleep, I pray that I could at least dream that. Maybe that would make the hurt go away

Huggles

Toni-Lynn