What do?

[CamilleLeon]

So a friend/fraternity brother of mine asked me why I shaved my legs. I didn't know what to say, so I said it "made me more aerodynamic when I fight" (a movie reference if you didn't catch it). He laughed, but I'm not sure how to handle this. We've hung out since and he hasn't brought it back up. I've come out to my family but not to any of my college friends. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be an issue amongst them, other than the awkward conversation of coming out. I have wanted to come out, but I don't want to be treated differently by my friends. What do you think I should do?

[Shananigans]

Tell about your other fraternity brother talking about fetishes with us and then all of a sudden, he says, "How about high heels?" I say, "High heels are always sexy." And, he says, "I'm talking about on a grown man."

And, the same guy talking to us about drag queens hours later.

I think they're on to us.

[ReineD]

It's my experience that when people ask questions, it is because there is something in it that rings bells for them, whether they've experienced it themselves or have witnessed it before in someone they care about.

I think it's time you tell your friend.

EDIT - Or maybe they found your stash, or saw you dressed, if you have several friends asking similar questions.

They might well treat you differently, but if they are smart guys they may be able to understand if you educate them properly. I don't know if you enjoy being a guy with them, but if you do and you continue to be your(guy)self with them, I sense that they will be able to take it in stride. After all, nothing will have changed when you are with them. It might be more difficult if you dress in front of them though.

[CamilleLeon]

Oh yeah, I meant to say I'd had suspicions that they're on to me, however, I feel that most of those suspicions are easily chalked up to paranoia/worries about being figured out

[Shananigans]

Yeah, I wonder the same thing.

But, I have to say...the whole leg shaving thing probably had people wondering. Unless he was too drunk/high to remember.

I mean, you're not exactly a swimmer...so..."why you shaving your legs, like a b*tch?"

[joannemarie barker]

I think he might suspect.I've never had much hair on my legs and nobody has ever asked if or why I shave them.half the men at the gym I go to are shaven smooth all over though and they can't all be cd

[Shananigans]

I think he might suspect.I've never had much hair on my legs and nobody has ever asked if or why I shave them.half the men at the gym I go to are shaven smooth all over though and they can't all be cd

Yeah, I feel like that would be the case for most people. Ryan is a Polack though and just generally really hairy all over. When he shaves it's a pretty big difference. And, when his hair is growing in, it's pretty noticeable.

[CamilleLeon]

EDIT - Or maybe they found your stash, or saw you dressed, if you have several friends asking similar questions.

They might well treat you differently, but if they are smart guys they may be able to understand if you educate them properly. I don't know if you enjoy being a guy with them, but if you do and you continue to be your(guy)self with them, I sense that they will be able to take it in stride. After all, nothing will have changed when you are with them. It might be more difficult if you dress in front of them though.

Well I did dress up for Halloween but it was very poorly done, being unshaven on both my body and face. I suppose it's possible he found my stash, but I think he noticed after accidently brushing against my leg. I fully enjoy hanging in guy mode with them and I don't know if or how much I'd really want to hang out with them en femme. It seems like that might be awkward for all involved. My friends are generally accepting and cool guys so I don't know what I'm afraid of

[SandraAbsent]

Shaving really isnt that out of the realm of normal even for non dressers. I have been asked a couple of times and I simply reply with, "it makes me comfortable." Never had any conversation beyond that. The question is do you really need to come out to them? If yes than do it, if no than why rock the boat.

[Shananigans]

Well I did dress up for Halloween but it was very poorly done, being unshaven on both my body and face. I suppose it's possible he found my stash, but I think he noticed after accidently brushing against my leg. I fully enjoy hanging in guy mode with them and I don't know if or how much I'd really want to hang out with them en femme. It seems like that might be awkward for all involved. My friends are generally accepting and cool guys so I don't know what I'm afraid of

One of your friends probably mentioned that you were moving in with a bag full of women's clothes and a box of high heels.

[joannemarie barker]

I guess the "I do it for cycling" excuse may be a bit cliche but there are other excuses to use I'm sure

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

Before I reached the point that I can just smile and say "I'm a crossdresser", I had every intention of truthfully saying that "I get skin rashes from my body hair."

[Shananigans]

I guess the "I do it for cycling" excuse may be a bit cliche but there are other excuses to use I'm sure

I'd buy that one. But, what if you shaved your legs, arms, armpits...everything? And, it was obvious that it was shaved when it gets prickly black hairs after a few days...

...I don't know...it's a sticky situation.

[joannemarie barker]

I'd buy that one. But, what if you shaved your legs, arms, armpits...everything? And, it was obvious that it was shaved when it gets prickly black hairs after a few days...

...I don't know...it's a sticky situation.

Yeah it's definitely a sticky situation,probably still salvageable but maybe an opportunity for taking the plunge and being honest

[CamilleLeon]

Yeah it would be nice to be able to be completely open and honest about it. I just don't know how I'd come out to 20+ of my friends

[joannemarie barker]

Yeah it would be nice to be able to be completely open and honest about it. I just don't know how I'd come out to 20+ of my friends

That is a lot of people to come out to all at once,I'm not sure I could handle it at all but why not pull the guy to one side and just explain to him?

[Rianna Humble]

So a friend/fraternity brother of mine asked me why I shaved my legs. I didn't know what to say

"Because it's less painful than waxing them"?

or

"I can't aford laser hair removal"?

[ReineD]

My friends are generally accepting and cool guys so I don't know what I'm afraid of

They're good friends? And don't fraternity brothers look out for each other? I have sons your age. I can't imagine any of their close friends dropping them if they knew something about my sons that they don't understand. They're all a pretty diverse bunch.

So if you think the cat's out of the bag, just carry on like normal with them and see how they react to you in the next while. If there's no difference, then they're Ok with what they know. If they ask more questions in the future though, I would consider telling them (if the timing is right and if it's one on one, and if he is a close friend). I mean if they keep asking the same questions there's a chance they know?

But ... and I think this is important ... sometimes people know and they don't want to know. If a friend asks pointedly, then it might be time to tell. But if they are making jokes that don't require answers, then just go along with them and don't divulge anything that is not necessary (if you feel comfortable doing this). But do understand that if they are laughing it is not at you or at what you do. Most people just don't understand about the CDing and joking is a good way to diffuse confusion.

[joannemarie barker]

They're good friends? And don't fraternity brothers look out for each other? I have sons your age. I can't imagine any of their close friends dropping them if they knew something about my sons that they don't understand. They're all a pretty diverse bunch.

So if you think the cat's out of the bag, just carry on like normal with them and see how they react to you in the next while. If there's no difference, then they're Ok with what they know. If they ask more questions in the future though, I would consider telling them (if the timing is right and if it's one on one, and if he is a close friend). I mean if they keep asking the same questions there's a chance they know?

But ... and I think this is important ... sometimes people know and they don't want to know. If a friend asks pointedly, then it might be time to tell. But if they are making jokes that don't require answers, then just go along with them and don't divulge anything that is not necessary (if you feel comfortable doing this). But do understand that if they are laughing it is not at you or at what you do. Most people just don't understand about the CDing and joking is a good way to diffuse confusion.

that's great advice right there

[Dana]

Its just this plain and simple ~ be who and what you are!

People come and people go ~ what they think and belive in really doesn't matter.

[CamilleLeon]

Thanks all for your advice. If my friends asks again, in a better situation, then I'll probably tell him. I guess the rest of my frat brothers will figure it out eventually. I'm really just playing this by ear

Edit
@Rianna
Good answers, I may have to remember those for future uses

[Shelly67]

Cycling or swimming is a regular excuse - it does mean however that you'd really have to indulge in either to enforce the excuse . If theres one thing that gives away sudden hairless parts of our bodies its the sudden change in skin colour . My legs are moontan white - easily noticed and remarked on by a few relatives .So were my arms . Then theres the eyebrows . I tried as calmly as possible to just comment I like to feel cleaner ( to a very concerned look in return ) and as the likes of David Beckham can get away with it why couldnt I ? It provided laughter all round , but then the subject was readily dropped . So many personalities , go metrosexual in personal grooming its growing in understanding and acceptance , and this notion led me to consider something that would go hand in hand with the shaving ideal - fake tan .
On the subject of informing friends and relatives of being a crossdresser . I may be ten miles off target here , but I'm begining to think most people couldn't really give it a thought - IF they really care for the person concerned . I consider it to be true that only those who are nosey , fececious and possibly cruel are the ones whose are really bothered . My nieghbours ( very questioning and snobbish ) have passed remarks to my wife on the subject in a patronising manner really making her uncomfortable . Perhaps they've seen my clothes on the washing line , or peered over the garden fence watching me in kitchen .Either way - I do not care . Only if the situation became slanderous or gossiping to cause distress will it bother me . I can appreciate the questionable fretting that some situations bring on , but the only thing thats true remains .... if someone truely considers you a friend , a heartful companion , then if the truth were to emerge then they'd at least try to understand .... not make you feel guilty , ashamed or embarressed .
And thats why my nosey next doors , theyre attitude to my wife , the ridiculous snobbery and all will have to accept , they wont be coming round here for bar-b-qs anymore .............well not unless they like my shaven leg hair for burger relish !!

[ReineD]

So why is it exactly that cyclers shave their legs? Does it make all that much difference with aerodynamics if you are not cycling competitively?

[Miley]

I think there are people you can tell and people you can't, they are just not mature or accepting or prone to gossip. You know your friend the best but you never know he might accept because he like to crossdress too but never had the chance. When I was about 17 i would crossdress amoung friends and i was supprised when they after time started to let the girls dress them.....i guess i helped brake the ice.

[TinaMc]

So why is it exactly that cyclers shave their legs? Does it make all that much difference with aerodynamics if you are not cycling competitively?

Not really, it's more about how bad cycle shorts look with hairy legs than anything else.