How Do You Talk Like a Woman?

[connie23]

Hi,
I have been going out en femme for a while but, so far I have been by myself and I have avoided much discussion. I went to a nail salon and had a manicure. I was greeted and treated as a woman until I started talking and then the people in the store immediately knew.
Is there a good way to learn to speak in passable tones? I don't want to sound screechy but, my normal voice, while a tenor, is not high enough to pass for a throaty woman.
I want to take this to the next level and I need some help.
Hugs,
Connnie

[Lexine]

Having a feminine voice isn't just all about pitch. It's also two other things: resonance and melodic intonation.

Resonance is that deep rumbling that you cause when you speak as a male. This happens because all the resonance happens in your chest area. In order to minimize this, you'll have to move the resonance from your chest to your head. A lot of Youtube videos recommend speaking from your male voice and raising the pitch until you feel the rumbling on your chest disappear and even going as far as to speak in falsetto. This is done so that you can learn to control your throat muscles and be able to move the resonance easily. Search for CandiFLA's or karmatic1110's voice videos for some more explanation on this.

Melodic intonation is that "sing-songy" type way that women speak. Men speak in a monotone type manner a lot of the time, but women often vary the way that they speak. This can be learned by observation or watching a lot of shows with women in them

Hope these help!

[connie23]

Thanks so much, I will go on youtube tonight and get started. Do you think I should record myself to see how I am doing?
Connie

[Lexine]

Absolutely! That way you can keep track of your progress or if you want other people to critique your voice too (if you want)!

[SandraAbsent]

was going to reply to this, but i will simply say this...."what she said" lol

[Katt GG]

Having a feminine voice isn't just all about pitch. It's also two other things: resonance and melodic intonation.

Resonance is that deep rumbling that you cause when you speak as a male. This happens because all the resonance happens in your chest area. In order to minimize this, you'll have to move the resonance from your chest to your head. A lot of Youtube videos recommend speaking from your male voice and raising the pitch until you feel the rumbling on your chest disappear and even going as far as to speak in falsetto. This is done so that you can learn to control your throat muscles and be able to move the resonance easily. Search for CandiFLA's or karmatic1110's voice videos for some more explanation on this.

Melodic intonation is that "sing-songy" type way that women speak. Men speak in a monotone type manner a lot of the time, but women often vary the way that they speak. This can be learned by observation or watching a lot of shows with women in them

Hope these help!

[SIZE="3"]Wow, I'm a GG and I learned a lot from your post.
Cool,
Katt GG[/SIZE]

[SusanLaine]

I was out yesterday and passing just fine, having a good 'ol time...until I had to speak. Even speaking softly it was the one thing that let people read me. In fact, I believe it was the fact that I was trying not to speak that made it worse.

I've been studying the youtube videos (mostly moderately helpful) and I have Melanie Ann Philips DVDs but it's difficult to do entirely on your own since I can't really tell when I'm making progress.

Anyway, At Souther Comfort this year Kathe Perez will be there and she seems very good at voice feminization.

http://www.exceptionalvoice.com/voicefeminization.html

[suchacutie]

When we get the pitch and the upper-voice resonance under control, there is then the word usage to worry about...use of contractions, construction of sentences, etc.

I'm only beginning down that latter road, but I can see it's going to be very interesting...quite akin to learning a new language.

tina

[CharleneT]

HUGE topic ... a very short answer:

1. talk more softly and raise your pitch higher - but only to where you can speak comfortably and without sounding too "fake".

2. "Women's" speech is more about intonation, feminine language forms**, word choice and body language than it is about pitch. Spend most of your time on the non-pitch issues. The "sing songy" thing is very true, but it is also made up from specific intonations. Read on the net and you'll find plenty about those.

3. Women speak as much with their body as their mouth. Eyes and how they move is important. Men "stare", women "engage".

4. This will take practice, quite a bit of it, but you'll be surprised how helpful it can be to speak without worrying too much about how it sounds.... practice with a voice recorder if you can.

5. In a subtle way women are often trying to encourage "relating" over "information", they often speak in a way to keep a conversation going.

** things like tag questions, hedges, super polite structure etc...

[connie23]

Thanks for all of the really helpful suggestions. While at work today, I was listening more carefully to my GG friends and realized that you are right -- it is not about tone, it is about engaging and using intonation to convey interest.
I have started recording myself and will keep on practicing until I am ready to engage in a real world setting.
You are really great!
Hugs,
Connie

[Alice B]

I don't even try. Could never pull it off and would draw more attention to myself.

[Kate Simmons]

Never shut up? I know I've been accused of this. It's really not the tone as much as it is how you say things and what you talk about. Women have strong interpersonal skills and a strong sense of unity and compassion.

[connie23]

Hi!
Thanks everyone, as I said earlier, I am going on you tube tonight and will start practicing. I have a recorder so I can monitor my progress. Maybe I will get up the courage to join a group of girlfriends in the DC area for a night on the town or a visit to another nail salon,
Thanks again and hugs,
Connie

[Annaliese2010]

Hi,
I have been going out en femme for a while but, so far I have been by myself and I have avoided much discussion. I went to a nail salon and had a manicure. I was greeted and treated as a woman until I started talking and then the people in the store immediately knew.
Is there a good way to learn to speak in passable tones? I don't want to sound screechy but, my normal voice, while a tenor, is not high enough to pass for a throaty woman.
I want to take this to the next level and I need some help.
Hugs,
Connnie

Do you have a fave female vocalist who is in your range? Pick a song, play it over and over whenever you can, while driving for instance. Learn it intimately, every note, the timing and intonation. Then begin practicing, singing in unison with the artist. Stick with it and in time you may amaze yourself at how well you can sing it, how good you sound and maybe even...at least for that one song, just how close you come to being indistinguishable from the recording.

Now. Simply practice staying in that voice when speaking. If you lose it, just go ahead and start singing your special song then, pause ever so briefly and, switch to everyday speaking.

Becoming proficient in that one song is fun, and it becomes a tone-portal you can activate just as you do almost without thinking with your mood, your sensitivity, your frame of mind & thinking, your overall graceful movement across the room, the side-to-side rhythm and grind of your booty as you walk, and all the tiny little gestures that come to you as you dress, sit in front of your mirror applying your makeup, primping and preening, slowly making your transition complete, from boy to girly-boy to girly-girl.

All I have to do now is softly hum my song when I begin transitioning. After awhile thats all you have to do to go to your girly voice - dont even have to sing - just a gentle humming becomes the key, taking you up to your other voice - as he becomes she, as you become her, I mean.

Practice practice practice! Remember...
Practice makes perfect.

[SarahLynn]

Another bit of advice, talk softly even when in loud locations. You will get the picture soon.

SarahLynn

[Jenna Lynne]

I've got a whole list of tips for voice on my blog (http://jennawillow.wordpress.com/201.../other-voices/). Have a look, and let me know if anything there is not clear, or not helpful.

Listening to women's voices on the radio and practicing those tones and inflections is a good tip ... but I would steer totally away from the idea that you should try singing songs along with female vocalists. The pitch range won't work, for one thing -- you'll be straining to hit the high notes, and even if you don't hurt yourself it will sound totally unnatural. But just as important, you won't learn a darn thing about normal speech inflections, because singing is not speech.

Jenna

[Annaliese2010]

... but I would steer totally away from the idea that you should try singing songs along with female vocalists. The pitch range won't work, for one thing -- you'll be straining to hit the high notes, and even if you don't hurt yourself it will sound totally unnatural. But just as important, you won't learn a darn thing about normal speech inflections, because singing is not speech.

Well it worked for me. But it's...hmm, hard to explain. No not scientific voice training...Oh IDK, it helps to make my voice transition is all; something that happens over the course of a few minutes - not like a snap of the fingers, ya know? More like... applying make-up and dressing. It's...a way to alter the 'mood-set' of my voice? Works for me.

Please let me clarify as I wish not to be responsible for misdirecting nor to frustrate and lead astray the yearnful efforts of those who so much desire to transgenderize their male speaking voice to enhance the pretty poem they have otherwise become in so many other ways: I chose A female vocalist who was just above and somewhat overlapping with my males upper vocal range. And I use A fave song of hers and know it intimately now and if I dare say so myself, I sound quite like her when I sing that one particular song. I'm not straining, and I agree with you, that one shouldn''t just randomly sing-along with female vocalists on the radio day to day (teehee). That's why it's so important to choose the right artist. That little technique alone has helped me define what is a very lovely (god, I'm shamelessly bereft of humility...I know, but duely so...lol) expressive, innocent and when in the mood (which, when am I not? ) silky sultry sound; one that's natural and easy as pie; sweet but not too much; so that it's... yummy 'tasting' not yucky sweet.

Now that I 'own it' so to speak (my voice, that is), humming my song or even sub-vocalizing it is simply my way of 're-membering' my femme voice i.e. the voice that expresses the personality of she (muah) who is by default 'dis-membered' as in forgotten i.e. repressed most of the time, of necessity. My feminine voice does not sound eeenything like a Monty Python character (lol). Forgive me for being self-indulgent: my voice is sweet, but not too; is situated within the upper range of my natural voice, which is now higher than before; has variability in tone, tenor and pitch, in a manner that is seamless, non-stressed and so...allows me to just be me, say what I want to say, when I want to say it, to whomever I wish without forethought, worry or calculation, nor the need to 'self-monitor' by trying to gauge the 'reaction' in others. I love my voice, I love my body, I love my warm heart and deep soul. I go out whenever I am able and would love to even more - if I had an accepting local TG or GG gf for instance. So, all in all...maybe I'm atypical or lucky but... voice concerns? Nah uh, this girl's girly-girl through n through. Book-learning your way to a better voice is ok; a very male approach; and might be necessary for many - I guess. But to me it's intuitive; it's fun; a little work and a lotta 'tude. So sure am I that this is true, I am inclined to say on-cue: you can take that to the bank - boop boop de boop.

Sheesh...

[lavistaa62]

Have you used the inflections/body language/language style in your "male" voice / persona as well? If so have you found it increases your connection with people or acts as a turn off. Just wondering if people would notice it if you are otherwise fully male. Seems to me it might be a useful tool in everyday life but I haven't even begun to develop the voice and mannerisms so I can't say. Just interested in your experience.

[t-girlxsophie]

Can pull it off for a (very) short time,but more often than not I sound like Some Hideous Monty Python female character.
So I don't bother trying,after all I don't pass so It would be rather pointless mimicking female voice

[carhill2mn]

IMHO there are several things that one can do to sound more "feminine". There are many GGs/GWs with low voices but you can usually distinguish them as being female.

Most women tend to use softer sounding words or phrases; they speak less "authoritively"; they speak from "higher up" in the "voice box" thus changing the "timber" of their voice (this is not the same as speaking in falsetto); they use more hand and body gestures; they smile more (a friendly smile is, perhaps, your best "tool");
it is also important to appear to be confident and to not act as if you are afraid or embarassed and to act as if this is normal for you.

I do not have a naturally deep voice so it has been easier for me. I have never had anyone react strangely to my speaking voice and have conversed for as much as 10 to 15 minutes without any difficulty. It is important to practice and to be ready to speak as a "woman" when your are en femme.

Good luck, have fun!