A Possible Clue to My TG Nature?

[JamieG]

The other day my mom revealed an aspect of my history that I had never known before. She said that when I was born, they were so certain that I was going to be a girl that they hadn't picked out any boy names for me. Apparently, I went nameless for four days before they finally settled on a name. I've known all my life that my mom would have liked to have a daughter, but this was new to me. I wonder what made her think she was having a girl? This was before ultrasounds, so perhaps it was an old wives tale or "woman's intuition." Is it possible that she had picked up on my feminine nature, or is it that this expectation led me to develop one (nature vs. nurture)? I wonder, if they we were so certain I was going to be a girl, was my room painted in "girl colors?" Did I wear girls clothes until they had a chance to buy boys clothes for me?

Alas, I didn't ask her these things. In the same day, she accused my dog of being gay for wearing panties... I suppose that last statement requires some explanation. No, my mom is not senile. My 5 year old daughter had hidden a pair of panties under the couch and claimed they belonged to the dog. This led to my mom's comment. Although it was said jokingly, it plainly told me what she thinks about crossdressing, so I'm not going to start probing my early history and risk getting a "Why are you asking?" replying.

Who else was told they were expecting a girl when you were born? Do you think it had any impact on your development?

[bianca66]

Hello Sugar ~ Yes I've wondered the same thing also...

My parents were sure I was going to be a girl. They picked the name Michelle then changed their minds to Michael but since I had an uncle Mike they used that as a middle name and gave me a different first name...Even though my mother wanted a girl, I think now that she is in her 80's her heart would give out if I showed up as the daughter she always wanted. :giggle:

[Kathi Lake]

According to my mom, I was supposed to have been born on Valentine's Day, and I was supposed to be a girl. I let her down on both accounts, as she let me know on many occasions. That my "father" (the quotation marks were always there - verbalized or not) was often referred to as "the sperm donor" by my family, that all men were scum, yadda, yadda - I would certainly say that there were many clues to my TG nature.



Kathi

[Karen564]

[SIZE=2]I had asked my mom if she and or my dad ever had a girls named picked if I was born a girl (the reason I asked was if they did, I would of accepted that name for my legal name change), but she said no, and they had no names at all picked ahead of time...and they didn't really have any idea of whether I was gonna be a boy or girl... she said some said she was gonna have a boy & others said she was gonna have a girl...so it was a toss...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So they named me the day after I was born..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]And so I changed my legal name to what I liked instead..[/SIZE]

[DonnaT]

My mom said she just knew we, all 5 of us, were going to be boys, so never did pick a girls name for any of us.

She now knows she came close to being wrong

[Nicole Erin]

My dad wanted a girl. My name would have been Nicole.

[Charolette time]

When I was born, my Dad was overseas in the Military, and Mom was pregnant, all the letters sent home were that my name would be Carole, well I guess I fouled that up. But years later I became Charolette, Dad never knew,both passed on, but I think Mom did, as I used to try on her stuff and she always gave me a funny look when the closet was messed up, as neat as I thought I left it, Mothers knew, Charolette

[Sarah Doepner]

My folks were planning on a girl since they already had a boy in the house. They had picked out her name, so when I got around to picking a girl name I included it as my middle name. They both died well before I did that, so they will never know they did name a child Marie, in a way.

[Anneliese]

My Mom told me she fully expected me to be a girl, and the name chosen was Tina. I am the oldest of three brothers. She wanted them to be girls, but she knew I was going to be.

[Jenny Gurl]

Enough boys in the family, she wanted a girl badly. She got her wish, although she doesn't know it.

[Krista1985]

Reading this post reminded me of something my mother said years ago.

She was discussing pregnancy with a neighbor of ours, who had just discovered through ultrasound that she was carrying a girl. I overheard her say that when she got an ultrasound while carrying me, they told her to expect a daughter. My parents prepared for a baby girl, even picking out the name Rachael.

They were surprised to hear the doctor announce, "it's a boy!" several months later. Looking back now, the technician may have been right!

[NathalieX66]

Since my grandparents wanted a boy for their second child, the first being a girl, my mom the second child was brought up very tomboyish. She was my grandfather's son he never had. In the 1940s/50's, she was very athletic and loved to play touch football with the guys. She had the guts to stand him down and argue with him when my aunt and grandmother didn't. My grandfather, being a tough macho Italian guy did all the cooking and loved to plant a zillion flowers of every kind in his garden till the point he was viewed a freak in the neighborhood with his garden. though people sure loved the flowers.
My family is living proof that gender is a state of mind.

[marny]

My mother said they had almost given up. They had two girls and wanted a boy but it didn't seem like anything was going to happen. Then I arrived. Good news for them, long passed, is they were happy they had a son, never knew they had three girls.

[Tara Lutschich]

I also was to have been Michelle. My ex correctly inner intuition ..... knew sex of all four kids.

[Jorja]

My mother died when I was a young boy so I never got to know her. I was raised by my father who tried to make me a man. When he saw his efforts fail for the millionth time, he said be the person you want to be. For his sake, I remained male looking for the last year of high school. I guess I felt I owed him that. From that point on I started my journey to becoming the woman I am today. The first time my father ever saw me dressed he let out a gasp and said omg,,, its Jorja. He then told me had I been born a girl my name was to be Jorja. My mother didn't care for the traditional spelling of Georgia. And so it is.

[Freddy12]

I was supposed to be a girl, and now I am one! (Just with some different parts that I could do without!)

[Jenny Doolittle]

There seems to be a common thread that many of us come from a family that were predominantly boys? I too have 6 brothers and it was not till the 8 child did my parents have a genetic girl. Are we hitting on some kind of commonality here?

[JamieG]

Thanks everyone for the great responses!

According to my mom, I was supposed to have been born on Valentine's Day, and I was supposed to be a girl. I let her down on both accounts, as she let me know on many occasions. That my "father" (the quotation marks were always there - verbalized or not) was often referred to as "the sperm donor" by my family, that all men were scum, yadda, yadda - I would certainly say that there were many clues to my TG nature.
Kathi

Sorry to hear about your childhood, Kathi. That sounds awful.

She was discussing pregnancy with a neighbor of ours, who had just discovered through ultrasound that she was carrying a girl. I overheard her say that when she got an ultrasound while carrying me, they told her to expect a daughter. My parents prepared for a baby girl, even picking out the name Rachael.

They were surprised to hear the doctor announce, "it's a boy!" several months later. Looking back now, the technician may have been right!

Wow. That must have been a big surprise for them. Given how much faith people put in ultrasounds, I wouldn't be surprised if you had a pink nursery, baby dresses and tights waiting at home for you. Of course, your dad probably went home and threw it all in the garbage once he saw (or I should say thought) he had a son.

Since my grandparents wanted a boy for their second child, the first being a girl, my mom the second child was brought up very tomboyish. She was my grandfather's son he never had. In the 1940s/50's, she was very athletic and loved to play touch football with the guys. She had the guts to stand him down and argue with him when my aunt and grandmother didn't. My grandfather, being a tough macho Italian guy did all the cooking and loved to plant a zillion flowers of every kind in his garden till the point he was viewed a freak in the neighborhood with his garden. though people sure loved the flowers.
My family is living proof that gender is a state of mind.

What a great story. I want my children to grow up in a family where "gender is a state of mind" too. I wouldn't push my girls toward one gender role or another, only make sure that they know all options are open: if they want to be a ballerina, basketball player, cheerleader, computer geek, or whatever, I'll support them. In the meantime, my wife and I are modeling a gender-role blend: we both love beer, football, and science fiction; watch Project Runway, What Not to Wear, and Ru Paul's Drag Race together; and go whitewater rafting and rock-climbing together. I take ballet lessons, she takes speed-skating lessons. Each of us has some masculine and some feminine interests.

There seems to be a common thread that many of us come from a family that were predominantly boys? I too have 6 brothers and it was not till the 8 child did my parents have a genetic girl. Are we hitting on some kind of commonality here?

The community is so diverse, I think its hard to draw any general rules. I'm sure there are plenty of CDs with sisters. Still, I fit your pattern: was the youngest of two boys. I think growing up in a predominantly male household (even the dog was male), probably made me more curious about women's things. Especially, since my mom wasn't particularly girly: she usually preferred pant suits to dresses. If on the other hand I had grown up with a number of girly sisters who did not get along with me; well who's to say that trying on their clothes would have been less like exploring a mystery and more like joining the enemy? :-)

[SuzanneBender]

I am the youngest, by 17 years, of three boys. My parents were going to adopt my cousin whom they were raising when their niece decided to take him back right before the proceedings finalized. They were crushed and then the miracle (opps) occurred and my mother found out she was pregnant less than a month later and right after her 41st birthday.

By all accounts they were fully expecting a baby girl. My Mom regailed me with tales of how the nursery was in place and that I was going to have my grandmothers name, Grace. Alas, someone put the stem on the apple and my father had to repaint the nursery the night before I came home from the hospital. If they had know I could have save my Pop a whole lot of painting.

I blame my transgenderism on the fumes from the newly painted room. Its science!

[Kathi Lake]

Sorry to hear about your childhood, Kathi. That sounds awful.

Thanks Jamie, but there's really nothing to be sorry about. As I tell others, yes my childhood sucked - in ways that I have told here - and will never tell anywhere. However, every trial, every putdown, every negative thing in my life essentially built me to be the person I am now. I love the person I am now - I really do. Since I like who I am now, and it was my past that "made" me the person I am today, I can't really look back on my past with much negativity. It shaped me, and therefore was good.

Simple, eh?



Kathi

[JamieG]

I
By all accounts they were fully expecting a baby girl. My Mom regailed me with tales of how the nursery was in place and that I was going to have my grandmothers name, Grace. Alas, someone put the stem on the apple and my father had to repaint the nursery the night before I came home from the hospital. If they had know I could have save my Pop a whole lot of painting.

I blame my transgenderism on the fumes from the newly painted room. Its science!

Small sample size, inferring causation from correlation -- Sounds like good science to me!

Thanks Jamie, but there's really nothing to be sorry about. As I tell others, yes my childhood sucked - in ways that I have told here - and will never tell anywhere. However, every trial, every putdown, every negative thing in my life essentially built me to be the person I am now. I love the person I am now - I really do. Since I like who I am now, and it was my past that "made" me the person I am today, I can't really look back on my past with much negativity. It shaped me, and therefore was good.
Kathi

You've got a great attitude, and have a right to "love who you are now." I admire your confidence and self-esteem, and your ability to "move on." I think too many people dwell on the negative things that happened in their past.

[7sisters]

Here is a site you may find interesting. It is by a transman who is a research scientist www.americantransman.com He talks about where gender comes from.

[Debb]

I was born intersexed, with an "extra" chromosome. My parents chose to believe the extra was the second X chromosome; I choose to believe the extra was my single Y chromosome, the one that makes me male.

Mom and Dad were hell-bent on having a son first, so I was given surgery to "correct" my physical appearance (sex organs), and male hormones just before puberty to push me in the "right" direction.

I only resent that I was not told about this until a very personal physical examination when I was 43 years old brought this out into the light, and my folks admitted it to me. Sort of, anyways.

[ash]

The other day my mom revealed an aspect of my history that I had never known before. She said that when I was born, they were so certain that I was going to be a girl that they hadn't picked out any boy names for me. Apparently, I went nameless for four days before they finally settled on a name. I've known all my life that my mom would have liked to have a daughter, but this was new to me. I wonder what made her think she was having a girl? This was before ultrasounds, so perhaps it was an old wives tale or "woman's intuition." Is it possible that she had picked up on my feminine nature, or is it that this expectation led me to develop one (nature vs. nurture)? I wonder, if they we were so certain I was going to be a girl, was my room painted in "girl colors?" Did I wear girls clothes until they had a chance to buy boys clothes for me?

Alas, I didn't ask her these things. In the same day, she accused my dog of being gay for wearing panties... I suppose that last statement requires some explanation. No, my mom is not senile. My 5 year old daughter had hidden a pair of panties under the couch and claimed they belonged to the dog. This led to my mom's comment. Although it was said jokingly, it plainly told me what she thinks about crossdressing, so I'm not going to start probing my early history and risk getting a "Why are you asking?" replying.

Who else was told they were expecting a girl when you were born? Do you think it had any impact on your development?

would like to talk to you we are alot alike

[ash]

[SIZE=2]I had asked my mom if she and or my dad ever had a girls named picked if I was born a girl (the reason I asked was if they did, I would of accepted that name for my legal name change), but she said no, and they had no names at all picked ahead of time...and they didn't really have any idea of whether I was gonna be a boy or girl... she said some said she was gonna have a boy & others said she was gonna have a girl...so it was a toss...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So they named me the day after I was born..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]And so I changed my legal name to what I liked instead..[/SIZE]

I m a mtf who wanta to be fulltime but I don't have any mtf friends to talk too and I'm trying to meet some now,would you talk to me?