Need advice on balancing my mens/ladies wardrobe

[PrettyFlowingGown]

My best friend is a older female (56), i'm 38. shes very caring and supportive of my cd'ing but she keeps going on and on that I have too much ladies clothes, and not enough mens clothes. I have told her, I dont like mens clothes and I dont like shopping for mens clothes, and in my mind I have enough mens clothes to get by. I love buying dresses and skirts, and my wardrobe is pretty darn big, I tell you and I'm happy with who I am. She thinks I need to balance my wardrobe, I should have as much mens clothes as ladies clothes. Do you think shes right or do you think I should be happy with what i'm doing?

[LeannL]

Not that I have looked at too many closets of my married friends but I would bet the wife has more clothes than the husband (non-CD). I would suggest that your ratio should be close to the married couple.

[Elizebeth]

No way it right to have enough mens to do what you need but most fem because thats what you like. Other wise there just taking up space.

[ReineD]

I guess it doesn't have so much to do with how many guys clothes you have, but the shape they're in. Do you have one or two pairs of pants that fit well that aren't blue jeans? A couple of button down shirts and also a few polo shirts? A decent belt and a pair of shoes that aren't sneakers? Maybe a sports coat to go with your pants? Also, some well-fitting, up-to-date T shirts that aren't all faded? A nice sweater or two and a decent outer jacket or coat for when it's cold?

That's all you need really. Unless you want to add a tie or two for those special occasions. Everything I've listed would fit on fewer than a dozen hangers and would only take up a small fraction of your closet space.

If your guy clothes are worn and out of shape due to multiple washings over several years, your friend may well have a point.

[Babette]

..... I have told her, I don't like mens clothes and I don't like shopping for mens clothes, and in my mind I have enough mens clothes to get by. I love buying dresses and skirts, and my wardrobe is pretty darn big, I tell you and I'm happy with who I am....

I think you are doing a good job of following your wants and desires. By your own admission, you are happy with who you are and you think that you have enough men's clothes. Did you ask for her input concerning your wardrobe? Is there a rule book that defines the proper ratio between male and female clothing? By my standards, I perhaps don't have enough female clothes yet they far out number my male clothes. As with Reine's comments, I do toss the worn items (male or female) rather than hang onto something worthless or tacky. It just makes good sense to do so.

Babette

[Sarah Doepner]

Reine is correct. Unless you have some kind of special need with work or in a recreational activity, a man's wardrobe can be very simple and still be more than adequate. I've Tee shirts, dress shirts, slacks and dress shoes that are rarely ever worn. Even when I was working in an office full time and involved in several different recreational activities that merited some specialized clothes, I still didn't need much.

Have your friend describe how the clothing you have on the male side of the closet is insufficient to meet your real needs. I will accept it is deficient if you don't have at least one Hawaiian shirt for each day of the week.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Use the 80/20 rule !

[Dee Baker]

I have way more female shoes than male. I think we purchase what we need to sustain our lifestyle.

Now I’m wondering what the 80/20 rule is.

[carhill2mn]

I fail to see why she - a woman friend - should care. Everyone knows it takes more clothes for a woman to dress nicely than it does for a man.

[ReineD]

I fail to see why she - a woman friend - should care.

I wondered why she should care as well, if she is not the SO, unless they do go out together occasionally when PrettyFlowingGown is in guy mode. If PFG's GG friend is dressed nicely and PFG is not, then the GG might feel a little embarrassed? I'm sure this is not an issue when PFG is in femme mode.

Another way to look at it, PrettyFlowingGown, is if you and your friend were to spend a day out shopping in a nice part of town and having lunch at an upscale restaurant. Would you feel a little awkward if you were well dressed and accessorized and if your GG friend showed up in sneakers, faded torn blue jeans, and an old shapeless Tshirt that had seen better days?

I'm not saying this is how you dress in guy mode since you didn't mention this. It's just the only explanation I have as to why your friend should care how you look if you are in guy mode sometimes when the two of you do things together.

[RachelPortugal]

......I need to balance my wardrobe....

You can never balance a wardrobe. Your femme clothes should always tip the scales in their favour!

[Crysten]

Well....yes. I mean, no. I can't judge, I have probably 10x more womens clothes than mens. I have about the same size womens wardrobe as my wife has, and minimal mens clothes to "get by". I hate shopping for mens clothing. Seems like such a waste, doesn't it.

Actually lets see. I KNOW I have more pairs of panties and pantyhose than my wife does. Also I know I have more dresses and skirts than she does, and probably the same number of bras. I have her beat in shapewear (she doesn't have any at all). About equal in the shoe department, although I have more heels. She beats me on womens jeans and tops though (which is what she mostly wears). So I guess I have a more feminine wardrobe than my wife does. I don't know if that's good or not. Actually, yes, it's a good thing

[kimdl93]

I believe that it's up to you to decide how many (if any) m clothes you keep in your closet.

[ReineD]

PrettyFlowingGown, I may owe you an apology. I do tend to initially look at people who post in the same light as my SO, a CDer who also has an active and fulfilling life as a guy. I guess it's natural for people to read their own circumstances in other people's stories.

It didn't occur to me that you might be 24/7, or working towards this, so none of my advice would apply if you don't wish to present in guy mode at all. Sorry if I offended you.

[DeeDeeB]

While I believe it is possible to get too caught up in shopping for any thing, you can't possibly have too many high heels. As long as you can be presentable regardless of the situation (ever worn sweats to a fumeral? Please say no, better a nice black dress.) you should be happy buying the clothes you like. I've always preferred buying women's clothes, something my wife likes too since I buy her size sometimes as well.

Dee

[jenifer m.]

ive eliminated almost all mens clothes now.im basicly a full time cder.yes alot of the girly clothes i wear daily can pass as mens at a glance,but they are womens none the less.i say keep just enough foe certain occasions.and let the rest be womens.

[Kendra (Tx)]

[SIZE="3"]I've always laughed cause I've spent far more in a year on Kendra's clothes than I've spent on "his" clothes in 20 years......I have a closet packed full of dresses and skirts and blouses, shoes, wigs and the like...While my ugly twin has maybe three pairs of jeans the same number of shirts.....One pair of sneaks...and a pair of Red Wings and all those God aweful baseball caps..LOL cluttering the place....I need to figure a way of moving some of HIS stuff out...LOL [/SIZE]

http://kendra954.com

[Marissa]

[SIZE=4]I was a bit confused also as to why someone is challenging your share of m or f clothes ratio.. i'm hoping its all in teasing.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]eitherway, i had to reflect on my actions of when i go shopping and I make it a big deal to let my daughters know that "see i bought a guy shirt (or jeans), now leave me alone!!!!!" its all in jest but i did seem to notice that i would rather look at and shop for fem attire, more than men's clothes. Kind of funny since i'm more closeted with minimal venturing out.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]To each her own as to what makes you happy.. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Hugs,[/SIZE]

[Karen__Starr]

My thought on how many female vs male clothing is partly comfort level along with are you dressed more as a female or male? Personally I have 99 percent female clothes as I live life as a female more than a male. Of course for the person who does not live as a female often possibly more male clothes then again it's always nice to have lots of female clothes even if you do not dress alot. In the end, whatever makes you happy.

[Chari]

You should always dress (& keep) clothes you feel comfortable and confident wearing - whether as a gal or guy! Discard worn, torn, bad fitting items to make room for new! LOL Most guys can make do with whatever they have in their wardrobe and look OK, but haven't known a gal that doesn't need "this" to go with "that" to give her a fabulous image!

[kymmieLorain]

For me I don't have enough female cloths, I try and get female cloths that I can wear in Male mode as I am not out of the house yet.

Kymmie

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Cassandra, hey it's been a while

I'm assuming the lady you refer to is the one you were with when we met a little while ago. If so, I know she has your interests at heart.....BUT... At the end of the day, I think you must do what's best for you. You're out and about a fair bit, so having a wide varying wardrobe is fantastic.

If you're happy with your male / female clothing ratio then there is no problem.

Tash

[PrettyFlowingGown]

Rhats right tasha. I go out now twice a month to sporties and i've been out mainstream. I love it more than ever. I'm buying skirts and dresses all the time, and i'm even making more freinds, not just other cd's, but women in local dress shops. They accept me as i am, cause i'm a reguler.

[FanciJewel]

The real problem is that the money spent for guy clothes cannot be used buying ladies fashion. When I am confronted with that choice I conclude that the guy clothes can wait a bit longer to be replaced. I have guy shirts and pants that are over 10 year old. Not so with my girl things.

Fanci