I know it's a little cliche but I've been wanting to go out dressed in public but I can't seem to bring up enough courage, I want to know any tips you girls may have for going out for the first time and if I can go so much further with help from you girls.
I may be a girl at heart, but I can still put anyone in their place
When I began my transition I got a lot of help for a week from a man that has been dead for a LONG time. He invented this incredible product that greatly reduces ones apprehension as well as other things. Needless to say it made the first week of transition a lot easier since.
Oh ya wanted to know what the product is. I wont tell you the product but I will tell you the mans name. Mr. Jack Daniels.
P.S. Not suggesting consuming his product in great quantities. Just a drink before ya leave seems to help!
Start with baby steps. Each new outing will bring more courage and confidence. Simple things like underdressing with socks, panties, etc. Then try a pair of women's jeans. Then try a simple T-shirt. Next a pair of women's shoes or sandals that look a little bit gender-neutral. Then start combining these. At some point you might as well just go into a women's clothing store and tell them what you want, and that you want it for yourself. They don't mind and are happy to help. There are probably more than a few Sales Associates who spent some time dressing their Ken dolls in Barbie outfits just for fun and we represent a challenge that they just can't resist. Take a few small steps and get some experience. Be warned however, it can be addicting. But have fun-you only get one chance to live your life.
Decide where you want to go, what you want to do ( shop in stores, go to a cafe, etc. )
If you want you can research what those areas are like ( best times usually being daytime during the week ). Take it from those of us experienced, the safest place to be is in a crowd of people. Having some activity to focus on ( like shopping ) will calm your nerves a bit, forget how you're dressed & just go about doing things like any other day.
[SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
LGBTQ PRIDE
As of Oct. 5th, go here to see my pics:http://www.flickr.com/people/fab_karen/
A Yankee Doodle T-Girl
proud of my President
Yuri, I think the best advice I can give is; dress to blend in, observe what GGs are wearing and pick your wardrobe accordingly. This time of year many GGs favor shorts and tanks but there mare also quite a few wearing denim skirts with casual tops. If you blend in, there's a good chance of not being read.
Luv and
Straight, into Fantasy Land
Thanks for the advice, but what can you tell I can do about the fact that I'm related to like half the town I live in.
I may be a girl at heart
So go away from your home town, book a hotel in a gay area and cruise the bars in a safe place. I'm not sure how feasible that is but it will give you a start.
When you are there strut your stuff; stand up straight and proud and develop attitude within you. That will help get you further.
Sorry I'm across the channel,
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
If your afraid of being seen in your town then go to another town.
I'm still not ready for people from my job to see me so I go out of town a little way to shop at the mall or even to buy groceries. It uses a little gas but I feel good about it.
As far as going out for the first time....
Put a reasonable outfit together and try just driving around a bit in it. Don't worry about even getting out of the car, just get used to going out and about.
Then the safest place to go out (and this might seem strange) is an open public place in the daytime. Yes, you might get some looks but no one is going to harass you in front of a bunch of people. It might seem safer to try going out late at night when no one can see you but that's when trouble is most likely to find you.
The key is self confidence. Walk out feeling self confident and a whole new world will open up.
The bad thing is I work third shift and I have a 18 month old son. Going to another city would not be easy.
I may be a girl at heart
I work from 11:30 PM to 7:30 am...
But my kids are all grown...
Hon, if you really want it then you sort it out
Good luck
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
Well you know, you just have to get yourself ready, and then just do it. Make sure that you are dressed appropriatetly, and that you have your makeup done just right, and then you just go out and see what happens. That's what I did the first time, and it went real well. I guess it all depends on how passable you are and whether you really care. In my case, I was rather reasonably passable, and I didn't really care.
Take my advice with a pinch of salt, as I've only ventured outside briefly once myself but...
it looks like you're trying to find excuses not to go out rather than reasons to go for it. Maybe you could analyse why this is on a problem/opportunity level and justify to yourself which option you really want at the moment. If you believe in the validity of your reasoning, then if and when you go out you will be much calmer and more confident inside (i.e don't do it purely on the basis of a pink fog moment).
Depending on your perspective - if you're related to half the town and would struggle to go further afield.
a) postpone the plan for now until the time is right (but don't wait too long - the number of girls on this forum who wish they'd gone out 20 years sooner.)
b) be confident that you won't be recognised en femme (how good is your makeup, and how different is your girl self from your guy self?)
c) that'll simplify things - you'll be recognised, the news will be all across town and all your relatives in seconds and then you can relax.
No doubt there are other options and possible outcomes, just pick and choose the advice that makes sense, and be comfortable with your decision. And at the last minute - toss a coin to decide - you will know if the coin has got it wrong.
Susie
Thanks for all of the support, I know it seems like I'm making excuses and maybe I am but I really want to be able to go out en femme, I know it might be another excuse but it doesn't help that I'm 6 foot and have a decent reserve of muscle but I do have one good thing, I don't need a wig, in highschool a couple of girls asked how I was able to keep my so smooth and wavy.
I may be a girl at heart
Lilly, just go out and do it. If you are wanting to go unnoticed, then dress conservatively. If you are nervous about being 6 ft tall, then wear flats your first time out. If you want to be noticed, then wear what will make you happy.
But walk with your head up, look at others in the eyes, and have a nice, friendly smile. First the smile shows you are comfortable. Looking down instead of up at people draws them to check you out while if you are looking up instead, others will generally look away after a quick glance.
If you are trying to pass under the radar, you can push your limits on clothing and heels on future trips out.
hi lilly been fighting with same feelings for years and allthough i havnt broke in yet all i can say fromexpieriance is that the feelings arnt goint away they are only getting stronger to the point that i feel if i dont go fully soon my sanity is going to start slipping so i hope this helps you in any way and helps me to cross that line soon mysef
I wish I lived in an area with more CD's so I could go out in a group. I think that would help alot of us.
I have learn't thatwith every small step your confidence with grow. Start small, take a night time drive somewhere where there isnt much traffic. Go for a walk somewhere isolated. Once you start your confidence will grow then before you know it one of us with bump into you at the shops
Do you mean practical advice about the logistics of it all? ... if so, a lot of good advice has already been given and I can't really add to that.
If you mean what you should be thinking in regard to positive affirming thoughts in your head? Then I would say that some of the advice about going to a town or city where no one knows you is a good thing as that will alleviate a lot of stress. I think the main thing to think is to remind yourself why you want to do this. Think of all those times that you were always wondering and wanting to know what it was like to go out en femme. Do you feel a tad jealous because you haven't done it yet?
In my case I thought about all the posts I'd read on this forum. I thought to myself, if those girls can do it so can I. I also told myself .. Rachel, you only get one life, it's once around the block, you don't even know that you're gonna live until old age ... do you want to go through life without knowing? Hell no! .. I said to myself, I have to know ... and that old line came into my head .. "when you look back on your life, it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done!"
Go on! .... you can do it! .... make us all proud!
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Just take a deep breath and walk out the door, and if anyone gives you any crap... Just " put them in their place"!You can do it.
"YOU LOOK MAUVVaLUSS!
and he jus' kept on chuggin along..."I think I can...I think I can...I think I can.
and all of the Munchkin's welcomed Dorothy with a song...
nobody ever advanced by standing still...
come on! I'll be right behind ya! (just don't look back, K?)
It is just like learning to ride a bicycle, if you fall down, just cry real loud, and somebody will run up and hug you and give you some ice cream (if you are a good actress).
Ok, best I can do. Kinda weak, but hey, I tried.
Come on in the water is fine!!!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Posting Permissions
