I need to leave

[Ze]

All kidding aside, my answer is Thorny. Or, at least, that's my personal answer. After three weeks of what you're more or less describing, I had somebody who yanked me outside, smacked me over the head (literally), and simply made me feel like less of a freak by treating me like I'm normal.

My point is: Do you have someone you can vent and pal around with for a few hours? I know you have a child and a job and are looking for a second job (which must be incredibly rough), but is there any sort of short-time activity or playfulness that can help you "forgot" the anxiety for a small while? I know it sounds both impossible and simplistic, but I just wanted to share what recently finally helped me.

Maybe hang with the other person you're mentioning? If it's your son, take him to the park or something he likes to do?

[7sisters]

I think I get spiritual- I've been taught we chose our own whole lives before we were born. Especially our challenges so we can grow. I've been taught we've been born before many times, many lifetimes. We got through all those lifetimes. we'll get thru this life too... and in my next life I wont even remember all the messes I made in this one. and you only go through the challenge once. If you conquer it you wont go thru it again. I think our fears of hurting our egos and thoughts of failure are what keeps us shackled. But not trying means we have already failed. You never fail till you stop trying. Made sense? I privately also believe that our thougts create reality. I feel I have dreamt up everything around me. you can dream up good things for yourself.

[christina marie]

ok. you asked for it. . . dont know if it will work for you, but i am in a similar situation, and this is what i do, works for me. . . dont mean to sound cruel,but, suck it up! turn all that anger/frustration/hate/anxiety/pain into motivation. if this is truly what you are feeling and thinking, then you know all t he reasons why you need to get out. keep all those reasons in the front of your mind and make a plan. doesnt matter if it takes you years (am on a three year plan myself). all that matters is if you make it out with your sanity intact. having a plan to hold on to will help. is going to take time to get educated and start making good money. let him do his part during this time* and keep plugging on with what you need to do. keep your goal in front of your eyes and make whatever little steps you can get away with to keep yourself calm in the mean time. is hard to do, but keep the peace in the house balanced with your needs for as long as you need to be there. keep moving forward. do not let anything non-critical stop or hold you back. i know what it is like to be where you are, but we do what we have to, to find a balance between our own needs, and the responsibilities we have chosen to take on in our lives( being a parent,spouse,etc.) in the long run,you are the only person responsible for your own happiness,and the only one who has the power to make it happen. the only question really left to answer is, do you have the courage,strength and determination to make it all happen?

* am in no way,shape or form advocating the lying to,or deception of ones SO. mine knows our situation is finite,conditional,and has been made aware of the timing of my " three year plan". YMMV, but i strongly suggest that anyone in a similar situation give the same consideration.

[4serrus]

Interview tuesday. See how that goes. Bitched at him because he's on antidepressants and hasn't been taking them.

I've got someone I can screw around with, but they've been busy. And I'm under a lot of stress so I'm not sure how social I am at all.

Goals? Goals make me depressed... D: I have vague plans, I think that's all I can handle right now. I need to get some debts settled before taking on MORE debt in the form of student loans...

[4serrus]

Oh and we're losing our roommates so apparently we need to move. More stuff on my plate. Just keep piling that on there, I'll ****ing take it all like I have been.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Interview tuesday. See how that goes. Bitched at him because he's on antidepressants and hasn't been taking them.

I've got someone I can screw around with, but they've been busy. And I'm under a lot of stress so I'm not sure how social I am at all.

Goals? Goals make me depressed... D: I have vague plans, I think that's all I can handle right now. I need to get some debts settled before taking on MORE debt in the form of student loans...

I was wondering from your first post if your husband was suffering from deoression, and I do not doubt that you may be as well. Going from job to job ,finacial and family problems all contribute to depression. There are a lot of things that put pressure on a young family theses days.

The cycle of taking meds, not taking meds, is a struggle for many people who take anti depressants. most anti depressessants, take 6-8 weeks to become effective, and sometmes you have to go through a few different meds before you find one that works best for your husband.

I went through 9 defferent perscriptions before i found one that worked well for me. Like your husband i struggled with taking them on a consistant basis. Finaly I made a promise to a friend to take my meds until a doctor eiter changed my meds or i showed improvement. I would encourage your huband to find an accountability partner. It sounds like he is trying with work. he's finding jobs which is hard in these economic times. have you tried counciling ?
Kelly

[victoriamwilliams1]

I was speechless and at some point I still am! If I was near I like many other would give you a big hug I will say that most men do not like taking meds and when it is required to take them to keep them stable it is very hard. I agree with Kelly about having an accountability partner.

[AnonyMouse]

Ouch... your situation sounds so much like mine (minus the SO, child, and job; add parents). I've been trapped in mine for years and sometimes it feels like there's no end in sight.

One of the first things you should probably be focusing on right now is becoming financially stable and independent. I'm guessing that at the moment you don't have enough extra money to pay for a driving instruction course, but that would be very helpful in your job search.

You definitely need to ditch the parasite. Without a support network, I don't know where you'd go, but you might try looking on the Internet to see if anyone in your area would be willing to help you out in exchange for rent. (You wouldn't want to make an arrangement with just anybody, naturally; find someone who is looking for a tenant, have a meet-up, and decide whether the arrangement is right for you.) You don't have to wait until you're divorced to leave, and in this case it sounds like you'd be better off not to. No matter what kind of garbage your husband puts into your head, you aren't legally required to do whatever he wants.

[Leo Lane]

Any tips on getting yourself and possibly someone else out of that crippling anxiety phase? You know, where you curl up, can't move, physical pains anxiety?

Breathe. Shut your eyes. If that doesn't work, scream and flail and vent if you have to. Whatever, so that you can get on your feet. Then go and make yourself a nice cuppa tea, or whatever your equivalent is, and sit and eat/drink it and look out of the window and try to think of nothing just for a little while.