I've been doing this since I was 12 but it's become very strong at present now that I'm 24/25. I feel much better staying dressed up 24/7 and feel more comfortable as a women / transsexual. I was wondering if there's anyone who stays dressed up as a female 24/7 but enjoys being a male (transvestite). Responses from people who've had similar experiences are appreciated :-)
Your message is a bit confusing to me about what direction you would like to go in.
What I'm sort of reading between the lines is that you are asking whether you, who feel like a transsexual, could realistically switch to 24/7 dressing but convince people that you aren't one of those transsexuals, you're just happier dressing like that and have no interest in surgery.
If that is what you are asking, then my personal opinion, based upon my experiences and what you wrote, is that NO, you would probably have a hard time convincing people of that. People already tend to believe that anyone who wants to dress all the time must want surgery, and considering that you feel that you are transsexual, you would find it difficult to maintain the stance that "I'm a male, really, trust me!" You would, I think, likely end up with a "Methinks he doth protest too much" situation, with the more you tried to convince people you were male, the more convinced they would become that you were not.
I go out transgendered all over my city, wearing female clothes all the time but not as obviously at work. In the strict sense of the designers intended to wear my clothes, I am already 24/7, but I don't think of myself that way because at work I do not wear obvious clothes such as skirts or dresses.
If you want to know whether you can dress in female clothes 24/7, have long-ish hair, pierced ears, and be treated with respect, then my answer to that would be YES, provided that you are able to find an employer who allows some dressing flexibility and you don't mind that "24/7" might mean women's jeans and a blouse at work rather than a dress.
If you want the above and in addition you want people to still think of you as being straight and "completely male", then in my experience that is not likely. I am aware that a fair number of people at work were somewhat uncertain about my sexual orientation even when I used to wear only men's clothes, in the days before I myself knew that I was a cross-dresser; these days I suspect the majority of them think I've probably "turned gay" or "come out of the closet". If you wear clothes that aren't self-evidently men's clothes, then at least around here, people will question your sexual orientation. The good news in my city is that that sort of questioning is just "water-cooler talk", idle gossip speculating about an unusual person: to most of the people in my city, what my sexual orientation actually is is not important. Oh, perhaps someone might have bet $20 on the matter, but I think mostly they'd just like to hear that I'd said I was gay so they can nod their heads and say "I knew it!" and be satisfied that they finally understood me. It's pretty much impossible in this city not to have a gay acquaintance, so people think they have a handle on "gay"... they may even think they have a handle on "transsexual" -- but transgendered without being transsexual or homosexual confuses nearly everyone.
How do I know these things? Because I am transgendered, not homosexual, probably not transsexual, and I am faced with these kinds of things every day. When I wrote "NO" above, I didn't mean that such people don't exist: I meant that considering what you wrote, you would probably not be successful in convincing people that you were in that category. The way I do it is to not even try: I just be myself as much as possible, and I leave people to form their own opinions of me (and if they think to ask me politely, then I talk to them.) By living my truth, my consistency eventually convinces the kind of people who are open to possibilities; the kind of people who are not open that way are not likely to be convinced that I am what I say I am no matter what I tell them.
If your real question was whether it is OK to be openly transsexual, to wear the clothes 24/7, and to present yourself as female, then my answer would be generally YES. There may be "costs" of doing so, possibly including losing your family and some of your dear friends, and possibly including having a hard time getting a job. In current society, you cannot wear transsexuality like a fad like bell-bottom jeans: you can get hurt and very lonely going through with it. You open yourself up to the world according to your need to do so -- or according to your unconcern with what "society" think.
Do you have access to therapy that you can afford? If so, then I would recommend that you work with a gender therapist if one is available, and a general therapist if someone more specialized is not available. My gender therapist's key question is "How do you want to live?", and when I say "I don't know?", she guides me in finding out, and when I say "I want to do this", she guides me in making it a reality.
I can't add anything to what Sandra-Leigh wrote, I just wanted to say that everything she had to say makes perfect sense, and was very well explained. I support everything in her post.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
That advice/description is dead on I. agree wholeheartedly. Morgan
So true. Gender identity is a land that's difficult to navigate, and when you think you have it all figured out it dawns upon you that you really have no idea. And it doesn't exactly help when the vast majority only believes there is completely male and completely female, and they can just hook you up with new genitals and you're "cured". I know I did for years.
A good therapist will help you learn more about yourself.
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