Passing In Public( again) There is HOPE for you guys (gurrlz) Read On;

[Sara Jessica]

Very nice post Megan. Let me try to be a proponent of blending...with a cavaet....

While I often speak of blending (which I truly feel is a better and more quantifiable goal than "passing"), there are times when I go against the grain. The difference is expectation. Let's take Megan's example of the CD who was struttin' her stuff at the outlet mall in her evening best. If she were to come into these pages afterwards and say "boo hoo, everyone looked at me, etc", I'd probably be critical in my response as in, "what did you expect? look at what you were wearing and where you were at".

However, like any other woman, there are times where I choose to dress down a bit, more comfortable for the time, place & weather. Yet there are others where I say what the heck, time to dress it up a bit, knowing fully well I may not blend in with the crowd like I might prefer. But it's my choice, like any other woman. If you want to overdress for a situation because it's fun to break out the dress and heels, knock yourself out. There are no rules saying you can't. But be aware that it may affect your ability to blend in with the crowd. If that doesn't bother you, all the better.

The only "rule" I abide by personally is to always be respectful of the image I'm presenting. Respect for women and respect for those TG's who are full-time and may follow in my wake.

[sandra-leigh]

City bus this evening: 1 GG in a dress, 5 GG in skirts, 2 GG in jeans, 1 little old lady GG in green slacks (I think I have the same style ), 1 GG in nice black pants I could not tell the material of. 0 GG in sweat pants, 0 GG in sweatshirts.

So that was Dresses or Skirts: 6; Jeans or Pants: 4

concert hall. THERE I blendin , in a different way... everyone is dressed up for thester and looks classy, including me. Its the only venue I can wear those kind of clothes successfully

There are few places around town that I have not been in a skirt or dress. Of the places I would go to anyhow, that is -- for example I haven't been to the local mall higher-end men's-wear store (at all) in perhaps a decade. Was I "successful" in wearing those clothes in those places? Depends what you mean by "successfully": I get read everywhere I go, no matter how I dress, so getting read can't be the criteria.

[carhill2mn]

I hope that all of the girls who have been having a difficult time getting "out of the house" read all of the good advice that has been offered here. I will not try to add any more except to re-inforce the fact that a SMILE is your best friend!

I have been out in many public venues over the years and have not yet had a bad experience. I do wear skirts most of the time and some sort of heels as well but since I have had some circulation problems in my legs I have had to wear more wedgies and sometimes flats.

I do pay close attention to my makeup, clothes, hair and jewelry. I do my best to act and speak as a lady would under the same circumstances. Apparently, I am doing OK as a good GW friend of mine told me that I "pass" (I am not too fond of that term, I prefer that I am "accepted") easliy and has taken me with her to many places and introduced me as her "friend".

A postive attitude and paying attention to the "little things" will do wonders!

Have fun!

[t-girlxsophie]

I agree wholeheartedly with the first point If you project a confident image it can help you,holding your head high helps you feel confident I know I don't pass but I feel better about being out dressed in the big,bad world.I've also learned that a smile can go a long way too

I know what ppl are saying about dressing appropriately and of course I agree with that,but to say wearing a skirt automatically outs you is misleading,sure wearing one in certain situations can be seen to be a red flag.It's not always the case though and There seems to be more ladies wearing skirts these days,certainly in the U.K.I have seen a fair few in the store where I work.

Indeed the last time I went out Dressed I wore a skirt and heels,and It turned out to be the first time out I went without any negative reactions(that I saw) from Joe Public.

Sophie x

[Carole Cross]

As a full-time pre-op TS, I agree with Megan's post about wearing appropraite clothes for where you are going. I get no trouble at all when I just blend in with the other women around me.
Also don't overdo it on the makeup, I know most of you will need some to cover up the facial hair, but don't go over the top.

[julie w]

Thanks for getting a great post going, We also come in different shapes an
sizes ,its easyer for some of us to blend in than others no matter what you
wear, I think our biggest give away apart from size is to much hair and make up when doing everyday things

[Megan70]

Thanks for getting a great post going, We also come in different shapes an
sizes ,its easyer for some of us to blend in than others no matter what you
wear, I think our biggest give away apart from size is to much hair and make up when doing everyday things

And of those two mentioned.... HAIR? wig IS the most important. It took years to pass the second looks, sneers, snickers, OMG phases and 90% of the time I was wearing the wrong wig for my face. I have a long face with a very long aquiline English nose and wearing any kind if wig with straight hair that looks limp makes my face look more drawn and nose longer. So I learned to find a wig(s) that was fuller on the sides and distracted attention form the center of my face. I can honestly say now its been over 2 years that I have heard a giggle or gossip or whatever because someone saw me and I didn't look appropriate for my age of face shape. Experiment with different styles. Hint: heavy guy/ girls with really chubby cheeks and apples and double chins should NEVER wear a straight fall to the shoulders wig. It looks , well to weird and wiggy.
Oh, and this thread is for encourageing those that are scared and lack assurance and self confidence. It is by no means an ultimatim that becuse you don't venture out there is something wrong with you and you aren't living up to your pledged code on page 57 in the CD handbook( joke.. O.K). There are those of you that are very content to stay home , or partially dress, or just wear make or lingerie, and that,s all you need to make you happy. Do what feels right and comfortable for you.

Megan

[Yvetteforfun]

Such good advice in this thread..Thanks! Once I was "read" at a Blue Man Group performance, waiting to get in to the theater with my date. 2 GGs in their late 30's/early 40's. One saw me and alerted the other. They both looked at me and laughed? smiled?, I don't know, I smiled back. On our way to our seats, they were very close to us and one girl turned around and said, "I love your purse, so beautiful" I said, Thanks and smiled again and so did she. Read or not read, we t-girls are part of the world, a special part of the world, if I may be so bold as to toot a horn for us all. What makes it all so fun and interesting is that there are soooooo many different types and varities of people. Vive la difference, I say!

[MsJanessa]

absolutely the best advice on "passing" that I've ever read here---passing happens when you don't get noticed---if you dress in the silk blouse with the black leather pencil skirt and the stilleto heeled boots, well trust me, you will be noticed---not a bad thing but you are a lot less likely to "pass" than if you dress down--but then for some of us, that is just not as much fun.

[kellycan27]

There is no mystery to passing. Everyone can pass... all you have to do is to tweak the definition of passing to fit your own personal situation. You can blend into the wall.. and you pass, you can hold your head up and make eye contact and.. you'll pass. You can use all of your self confidence, and people will think you are a girl, and you can show your girly attitude and nobody will be the wiser.

[Satrana]

That ruins the whole thrill of the "acting" part passing naturally.

I used to think passing was the summit of crossdressing but no longer. I get no thrill out of deceiving others. I get my thrills just by presenting the real me. I want to wear things that make me feel pretty and feminine and make me feel good about myself.

Moreover I realized that I no longer cared if I was read. I am proud to be a CD so I no longer feel ashamed if people see a male CD and not a woman. The whole pressure of passing is lifted from my shoulders and I can actually enjoy just being me and feeling relaxed about the whole experience. The thought of looking over my shoulder no longer occurs to me.

My old concern that people around me would react negatively was completely overblown. In fact most of the time people actually acknowledge and appreciate the honesty and courage it takes to present the real me. So I don't wiggle my butt when I walk or talk in a high pitched voice because I don't feel the need to deceive people into thinking I am a GG.

Saying that, your general points I can agree with. Blending in makes sense but not to the point of wearing jeans and sweatshirts. I would just go in drab if that were the case. A denim skirt and spaghetti top blends in just as well.

Also being confident is also important but to me that is achieved naturally by being relaxed and being proud to be a CD and being recognized as one.

One last thought - blending in as a female also depends on how young and beautiful you are. Young attractive girls will always be stared at regardless whereas older women wearing bland or conservative clothes will be largely invisible. It may not be fair or politically correct but it is true that the older you are the easier it is to blend in.

[crusadergirl]

This is a good thread but it still takes the fun out of crossdressing if you have to wear what others are wearing.
Blending in is a good idea if thats what u want to do. Why can't we just wear the style of clothes we like and still blend in with the crowd?

[Joanne Curl]

I know I don't "pass". I'm 6'1", shoulders like a linebacker and no butt. However, I try to wear what the other 50 year old ladies are wearing and go about my business. Do I get "read"? I'm sure but no one bothers me because I mind my own business and act like I belong. It seems the older I get the more confidence I have to accept that I like to be feminine and I'm comfortable being Joanne.

[LizaPond]

This thread is wounderful good stories from everyone. I just have one thing to add and I have to say. As a CD, never/ever/ever even if your half drunk----try to dance---. It will give you away faster than anything. Men just can't do it.

haha
Liza

[Megan70]

This is a good thread but it still takes the fun out of crossdressing if you have to wear what others are wearing.
Blending in is a good idea if thats what u want to do. Why can't we just wear the style of clothes we like and still blend in with the crowd?

You CAN! I think too many here thought I literally meant Sweatshirt and jeans, NO not exactly in the least, just a clear example reference. Clothing statement above withdrawn, just dress like the rest of women you age and where you are going to act natural and blend in as mentioned about. I am at tha point of being so comfotable at walking in public that I truly don't care anymore, but I know i have taken the trouble to "meld" with the masses; age and clothing, but I still wouldn't wear a cocktail dress and heels to a mall. Everyone should know that. Pass or not, as Christina said in her thread.. who cares just enjoy yourself but don't look like and idiot.

[Victoria Anne]

Thanks for a wonderful thread Megan , I must agree blend in and you will pass or at the very least be accepted, case in point a while back at a Walmart in Yuma I was nervous and I had a trail of girls and boys "look at this freak" but again at the same store a few days ago I went in dressed to blend and with an attitude that I belonged and smiled at everyone and wow no lookers , no comments only mam and miss. It was a wonderful learning experience. When I am out I don't try to pass so much as to just be myself and conduct the business I have to and of course look around in the stores, I just want to be me and be accepted pass or not and a good attitude as with courtesy will do it and your experience will be all the more enjoyable for it so go out and have fun , just be yourself.