Spotting a fellow traveler

[beckymarie]

So tonight I'm sitting at a red light here in north TX and look over and see an attractive crossdresser. She's blonde with very well done makeup but as they say... it takes one to know one, so I noticed the visual cues that she was one of us. I was very tempted to roll down my window, get her attention and compliment her on her appearance but being in drab mode decided that might be inappropriate. What is the consensus, is it ok to clock a fellow cd and compliment her on her appearance or should we just let it go?

Becky

[Stephanie Miller]

I kind of think that if she isn't wearing a rubberband on her wrist.... don't bring it up. Of all the well groomed Gg's that I have seen in other cars, I can't remember the last time I rolled down the window to get thier attentin so I could compliment them. Not.
Now, if ta Gg is in a checkout line in front and casual conversation is appropiate - sure, I'll compliment them on how nice they look or something simple. Just not so direct as .. ( You know, like " I think those shoes are the cutest thing. I have a pair just like them, but they're calf killers aren't they? )
But as far as a CD goes? She's a person. Treat her with dignaty and don't bring it up directly. If you get the chance to converse - she will bring it up if she wants. She knows she's a CD. She probably knows you know. Who cares?

[Karan49]

What if it turned out she is a GG? How embarrassing for both of you. You seem to be making an assumption that she is a CD and your input is welcome. I for one would want to get away from you as soon as possible. Who are you that you feel you can out someone else or pass judgement on someone else. Leave her alone.

Karan

[sterling12]

OK, your new so we will share The Prevailing Wisdom gleaned from Many Threads that have asked this same question......No,no,no,no, and NO!

Women come in all shapes and sizes, and varieties. I really can't believe you would be sure of her Genetic Status from a glance at a Red Light. So, bad idea #1!

If you had rolled down your window, made a correct Guess, and started talking to her, 99.9% Probability you would have either, A.) frightened The Hell out of her, B.) "Bummed her out," by clocking her, or probably C.) Both!

If you run into a nice T-Gurl in A Club, and you don't act like a boor, by all means make an attempt to engage her in conversation. Either night or day, at A Red Light...."Forged' About Id'."

We ain't mad at you, and it's good we get to impart wisdom periodically about this subject for people who don't know. Remember The Basic Rule..."Anywhere but in a place that's protected and non-threatening, Leave it Alone."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Mirani]

OOH! another "spot the Tranny" thread!

[SusanCACD]

It's kinda like the pregnant woman rule. "Never assume a women is pregnant unless you can actually see the baby coming out".

Susan

[Megan Thomas]

I'm sitting on the fence on this one, though erring with the don't say anything concensus. BUT... there's nothing wrong with offering a nice warm smile instead, is there?

[Stephenie S]

Absolutely. A nice warm smile is ALWAYS appropriate.

Making a snap judgment on someone's gender? And then bringing their attention to it????? Absolutely NOT appropriate.

Stephie

[JennaR]

Good god what's wrong with everyone, if she looked good she looked good what's wong with telling her CD or GG in a polite way. If she becomes offended by that Tough, her problem not mine...

[VS Fan]

Ok I might get flamed for this... and I'm only half-serious, but how about a whistle or "cat call"? Then she (GG or CD) will know you approve and there's no question about true gender. How many times have I seen posts on here about one of us being out and getting some attention like this and how "affirming" it is?

I know GGs probably have a different perspective on the whistling, since it's degrading to some (and a little creepy, which I understand completely...) So I guess you're still rolling the dice here.. a CD might think it's nice, a GG not so much, but there are people in both camps from each group I'd guess.

Ok so serious answer: leave well enough alone and be quietly happy for our fellow sisters out there that look good and are out and about.

VS Fan

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I think I will vote for the smile and nothing more.

[SuzanneAZ]

Put yourself in her shoes. Would you want some guy clocking you? I mean, here you are, not knowing who he is, and the fact that he might write down your license tag and look for your car in the future, or worse, try to follow you home. And maybe he's not a CD, but one of those typical "admirerers"...AKA, a euphanism for a sexually frustrated married guy looking for a quick BJ.

No on all counts. Live your own life and let her live hers....just drive on.

[AKAMichelle]

A compliment is a compliment. Besides anybody who is out dressed is not most likely past being read. They understand it as a part of life and just go on.

[RachelPortugal]

I kind of think that if she isn't wearing a rubberband on her wrist.... don't bring it up.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is it with the rubberband on the wrist? I see various people with different colour bands and thought they were something to do with charity fundraising, just like the little ribbons.

OOH! another "spot the Tranny" thread!

I think beckymarie was asking for advice from us. A sarcastic "post bumping" remark doesn't help anyone.

I'm sitting on the fence on this one, though erring with the don't say anything concensus. BUT... there's nothing wrong with offering a nice warm smile instead, is there?

Smiles are good! My wife smiles at everyone because she believes that smiling prolongs your life and I go along with that. Smile every time.

[noeleena]

Hi ,

We have answered this of cause.
& as a after thought for me is just another way of looking at some one , im not a t s or dresser. yet i wear womens clothes as in my pic youll see ,
im both male & female , how would you see me & then asked are you a..... if i said no im a woman youd say oh oh ...
You see my point is im different again a androgyonus person, woman.
what im saying is what you think we may be on looks only you may be wrong as you would be with me. for me its no big deal as i deal with many people,
so id say leave well alone out in public .

...noeleena...

[Stephanie Miller]

Rachael, the rubberband thing started - I think- back in November of 09' in a thread by Secret Sis. What the gist of it was the promoting of a special day called "CROSSDRESSERS DAY". This would be the second Friday of each month where we would wear a rubberband on our left wrist as a simple signal to other CD's. This is not the same as the big colorful wristbands that show support for things like breast cancer cures, troops etc.

[EllieOPKS]

I like the rubberband on the wrist thing. Clever idea. I think rolling down your window and commenting would be out of line. But if you are at a public place and compliment someone, I see nothing wrong with that providing one caveat - If a person is dressed like a lady you compliment them like a lady. Saying something like 'you look great today' is not inappropriate.

[Fab Karen]

Think about it- if you were out & about, and some guy came up to you saying,"HEY! NOT BAD, NO-ONE WOULD GUESS YOU'RE A GUY!!" how would you like it?
Talk to any of us like you would any GG- if you wouldn't approach a GG stranger, that's a clue. If you wanna compliment, just do so politely, just as you would a GG, without drawing attention, without saying anything about gender-identity ( and you could be wrong sometimes, THAT would not go well... )

Rubber band on wrists: covered before too- if you see a postal worker for example with one on their wrist, it does NOT mean they are one of us. And whattaya gonna do, go around staring at strangers wrists? 99.999% of the time it would mean nothing.

[eluuzion]

From my perspective...that is one of those scenarios that sounds great on the internet and certainly the way life should work, but does not go as easily in real life.

I am afraid the days of yelling anything out the window of my car to anyone are over for me. Too many unpredictable outcomes. Same goes with picking up "hitchhikers", lol.

just me...

[Danni Bear]

NO! NO! and again NO!!!!!
How would you feel?
I know what I would do!
Anyone and I mean anyone that would take a chance outing a sister is crazy!!!!
If and when they want the world to know they'll do so.
It's absolutely not your place to put in your
worth.


Danni

[RachelPortugal]

Rachael, the rubberband thing started - I think- back in November of 09' in a thread by Secret Sis. What the gist of it was the promoting of a special day called "CROSSDRESSERS DAY". This would be the second Friday of each month where we would wear a rubberband on our left wrist as a simple signal to other CD's.

Thanks Stephanie. I shall try to remember to wear a rubber band next Friday - (Friday the 13th!) - when I expect to be travelling back from a trip to Spain.

[Kate Simmons]

I speak with any "fellow CDer" the same way I speak to anyone else if circumstances allow for interaction.