I am preparing to do away with my wig and start using my own hair with a small topper to cover the bald spot. So how do you deal with the fact that you look the same dressed and not dressed in the face?
I am going to leave my hair in a ponytail when in male mode but everything including hair color will remain the same.
Michelle
have a decent stylist make a toupee. Be prepared to spend some good money and don't just go to some cheapo place.
people do that all the time.
They take a pattern of your bald spot, match up the hair color, and usually send this info off to a plce that makes the toupee to specs.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
That's called just being real 24/7. I rarely even pull it back in a pony tail because it takes a couple of days of restyling to get it to do right. I keep mine in a page style and I suppose it may seem odd to others, but they get used to it, when you do, and it's not been a problem at all.Originally Posted by AKAMichelle
Joni
"Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan
May I ask why?
Your avitar is so cute, I'd stick with it !
I'm looking to buy a good wig just for a change of pace from time to time.
Just me , just for the fun of it.
Presh GG
I comb my hair over my receding patch.
Pretty much from the time I started dressing I've had to face up to the fact that people recognize me easily no matter how I'm dressed and no matter what wig I wear. After a point I pretty much said to myself, "A wig is a nuisance, and people see me as male all the time even where I wear one, and people don't treat me at all badly when I don't wear one, so what's the point?"
On the other hand, I never did go into intense emulation mode -- didn't study videos on how to move or talk, didn't go anywhere serious on makeup, didn't pad my hips or tuck. Since I spent so much time "just being me" while happening to wear women's clothes, doing without the wig was no big deal by the time it happened.
Wigs were important to me in the period when I was getting acclimatized to going out in public, especially so in dresses. It was not easy to get to the point of feeling comfortable wearing a dress in public without the protective disguise of the wig. A skirt feels to me to be more... functional... more something that "there is no real reason a guy couldn't wear a skirt". A dress, though, always felt more "female" to me. Like if someone were to ask about my skirt, I could say "Hey, this skirt is cooler (or warmer, or less constricting)"; there are purposes to wearing skirts, but to wear a dress with a guy face is somehow to be willing to make a public statement that you are "guy" who likes to wear "women's clothes". The wig makes it into more of a "costume", or at the very least proclaims that you aren't trying to upset the traditional gender order even if you happen to visit the other side sometimes; conversely, going out without the wig is hard to do comfortably until the point where you are willing to put out the statement that "This is who I am and I'm willing to accept the consequences of that."
How do you deal with it? The same way you deal with the possibility of being recognized: you get to the point of saying "I need to do this more than I need to hold on to my fears."
I am getting a wig topper cut and styled to my hair color. She is a wig specialist and yes this is costing me a good amount. I am just not sure how to deal with everything since I have never gone out with my own hair before. But I have been letting it grow out for a long time now. It is about 8 inches past my shoulders so she should be able to help me get a cute hairstyle.
Thanks for the cute comment. I never thought of myself as cute.
Michelle
As one who has entered the world of natural hair over the last couple months, I am well aware of the loss of anonomintity. Face it, a wig makes us a little bit less recognizable. Still, I have embraced this to a point where I dread going back.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Michelle ~ wear glasses. It works for Superman. And comb a little curl over your forehead.
Hair does matter. I find as I've watch my transformations I've realised that it's the wig that changes Me to Meg.
And that is the way it is. I love having my own hair. I don't have to deal with the upkeep or attaching of a wig. I do have to deal with the upkeep and styling of my own hair.
But I always said that those with wigs have more anonymity because a wig causes more drastic changes in their looks. To get what I can as far as differences go, I am always in a ponytail when en homme and I straighten it to get it good and flat. When in femme mode, I curl or wave it some (this is what I struggle with) and style it with some volume. I try and make the style come forward in some manner so that the hairline isn't real visible or at least broken up. This does cause some changes since a ponytail shows all the hairline. After that, it is what it is.
Have you tried using Rogaine to fix the bald patch?
Good question, Michelle. I've had long hair for the past 30 years and never really thought about a wig serving as a disguise. I always though it was for folks who, for one reason or another, couldn't rely on their own long hair.
Once upon a time I did have a short wig, with the assumption that "he" would use it to have short hair, but didn't care for it.
I guess that without thinking too much about it I've adopted Sandra-Leigh's view that "you get to the point of saying 'I need to do this more than I need to hold on to my fears.'"
I still try to be two people, "him" and her, but as Kathy Lake pointed out to me a while ago, I'm probably really living on acceptance of my lovable personality more than any success with my "disguise." (O.K., maybe Kathy didn't exactly say it that way, but I think that was her point).
And I must say, so far that is working. I don't seem to get a lot of rejection.
Hope that helps.
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
I've been using my own hair since I started... there's actually people who still don't recognize me in 'comfort' mode right off, who have known me for years and seen my hair down.
One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel. - Reinette, Doctor Who: The Girl In The Fireplace
Yes and a smaller bald spot is left. Unfortunately I waited too long to do anything about it. Now my only options are the wig topper or hair plugs. I am personally leaning toward hair plugs myself in the long run, but for now the wig topper wins out.
Michelle
I have some experience in "disguises" and altering appearances (aside from the obvious CD lessons).
All I can offer is a few examples of how to do it.
The most powerful factor in facial recognition is your eyebrows. Shave them off and your mom would not even know you. One option (I employ) is to pluck, shape your eyebrows into feminine style, then when not CD, "fill-in" the eyebrow line to made it fuller and more "masculine".
The other quick ways to alter appearance is wearing a ballcap and/or sunglasses. Pulling hair back vs covering ears. Altering "length" (put hair up on head vs long and flowing styles.
Contouring with "shades" of light/dark make-up ....highlighting... light advances/dark recedes etc.
"Dark" eye make-up vs "light" or no eye make-up helps.
Eyebrows are the "biggest bang for the pluck"
As a general rule...People tend to notice halloween masks.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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